The Keys of the Kingdom HD 2 Point 8 Final Chapter Prologue
by OverMaster
Summary: Rewrite and update to the pseudo-sequel/spinoff to Unequally Rational and Emotional. Negi Springfield and the rest of Ala Alba travel through the multiverse trying to stop the machinations of the Heartless and the mysterious villains behind them. Eventual harem content. Don't expect to see much of the Original Generation Kingdom Hearts characters now either. Lots of Disney, though.
1. Dramatis Personae

We didn't create, don't own and don't profit from any of the characters listed here or their respective franchises.

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 **The Keys of the Kingdom HD 2.8 Final Chapter Prologue Turbo Hyper Champion Edition Gold**.

 **By OverMaster and Shadow Crystal Mage**.

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 **Dramatis Personae**.

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 **Negi T. Springfield:** A ten year-old prodigy graduate from Wales' Merdiana Academy. Negi is a mage in training, assigned by a magic diploma to serve a stint as a teacher in Japan's Mahora Academy. Now the homeroom and English teacher of Junior High Class 3-A (Girl's School Side), Negi has gotten himself embroiled in several conflicts that have, more often than not, demanded for him to establish Provisional Alliances or 'Pactios', with his students, something he's still morally troubled by.

Negi is a studious, yet naive young gentleman who knows a disturbing amount of foreign swear words, but hides a frustrated, overbearing side of himself and is obsessively focused on finding his long father Nagi, a feared mage best known as 'the Thousand Master'. For some reason, he's never wondered whether a mother might have been part of it at some point.

 **Hasegawa Chisame:** Negi's first roommate and Pactio partner at Mahora. Chisame is no-nonsense, stern and gruffly motherly teenager who hates getting herself tangled into Negi's magical pursuits, yet won't allow him to embark on them on his own either. Chisame also hides a side of herself known only by Negi, Satomi, Chamo the ermine, Misora and Cocone; secretly she is the ultra popular, peppy and sexy Internet idol known only as 'Chiu'.

Chisame is a master hacker and computer guru whose idea of a good time is locking herself in her room to work at her webpage while Negi sits nearby. Much to her distress , she's almost as popular with boys and girls alike as Negi is, despite popularity sort of being the point of idols, and she even has her own dedicated stalker, Tsunetsuki Matoi.

 **Kasuga Misora:** Negi's second Pactio partner. An orphan who was left on the doorstep of Mahora's Mary Magdalene Church, where she was raised as an apprentice in the ways of the Magical Nun. Misora is an adorable coward and slacker who regardless has fallen in love with Negi hard enough she'll always try her best for him, even if she's scared out of her wits.

Her Alliance with Negi grants her a set of super-speed shoes that make her capable of incredible feats of velocity, mostly used for running away. Misora is deeply convinced of the existence of the Judeochristian God, although she's willing to conveniently forget the parts of Catholicism that imply falling in love with your ten year-old teacher is on the sinful side.

 **Hakase Satomi:** Negi's third Pactio partner, and his and Chisame's roommate. Satomi is a brilliant but scatter brained scientific genius mostly specializing in robotics and aerodynamic vehicular design, with some amateur sex toy construction on the side. She's the co-creator of lovable robot girl Karakuri Chachamaru along with Chao Linghsen, and she treats Chachamaru as her spoiled daughter.

Satomi has a strong physical and sentimental attraction towards both Chisame and Negi, but she has settled in a tentative romantic liaison with Shiina Sakurako regardless. She and Matoi dislike each other, thinking of themselves as rivals for Chisame's attentions. Satomi's Pactio gives her a set of mechanic arms that infuse her with super strength, making her an effective short range grappler and brawler.

 **Kakizaki Misa:** Negi's fourth Pactio partner. A wordly, fashionable girl usually only worried about money and boys with good looks until she started caring about Negi and began taking things more seriously. She still retains a 'party girl' personality, and is ferociously competitive with Ayaka, Misora, Haruka and Chisame in their competition for Negi's attentions.

Misa is a cheerleader and an excellent singer, and is seen by the Mahora student body as one of the most desired girls in campus, granting her the social status of a widely admired Queen Bee. However, within Negi's Ala Alba, she doesn't get a lot of respect. Misa's Pactio consists of a set of throwing light needles, able of piercing through nearly everything. Those needles, upon impacting a living being, have the effect of lightening up their spirits, inducing nearly mindless glee, most often conveyed through uncontrollable laughter. Misa's father is a show business enterpriser knowledgeable about the world of magic.

 **Kaguraka Asuna:** Negi's fifth Pactio partner. Like Misora, Asuna is an orphan with a mysterious past. She was all but adopted by professor Takamichi T. Takahata, on whom she's held a precocious crush ever since her childhood. Asuna is strong and athletic, a loyal friend and a never-say-die type, but she's academically incompetent and often oblivious to facts, although she still has lots of basic common sense and a down to earth personality. She claims to hate children and only tolerates Negi, but since she's one of the few Ministra not in love with him, he knows he can resort to her as an impartial confidant and big sister figure.

Asuna is Konoka's roommate and best friend, and a bitter childhood rival with Ayaka. She likes older, masculine gentlemen over younger and more delicate boys. Already gifted with an enigmatic endurance against magic, her Pactio grants her with a massive spell-cancelling paper fan that can be changed into a just as gigantic sword she swings around with no apparent effort.

 **Shiina Sakurako:** Negi's sixth Pactio partner, and Satomi's official girlfriend. Her dream is marrying Satomi and having children with her, with Negi being the sperm donor and possible partner on the side. She's a happy go lucky girl with eclectic tastes and an incredible luck, making her virtually unbeatable at any sort of gambling and games of chance. She's best friends with fellow cheerleaders Misa and Madoka.

Sakurako's Pactio Artifact is a set of cheerleading pom-poms that, through waving and matching chanting, can alter probabilities around herself, making her a valuable boon to her allies on the battlefield. Her older cousin is a famous literary author, but also a savant with crippling learning disabilities in everyday routines. Sakurako also owns three female cats, Felicia, Yoruichi and Blair.

 **Suzushiro Haruka:** Negi's seventh Pactio partner. The Vice President of Mahora's Student Council, in constant odds with the more popular and beloved President Fujino Shizuru. Haruka is a strong minded, often stubborn young woman who will always says whatever is on her mind at the time, regardless of whether or not she can pronounce it, or if it's actually the right word. The daughter of a heartless mogul, she grew to hate him, and she has an unyielding, black and white sense of morality and duty. Her demanding traits make her disliked and feared by most students, but she's fiercely loyal to those she considers her friends and will never abandon her post.

Already a self-trained strong woman before her Pactio, through it she channels inhuman amounts of raw power, making her the physically strongest of all Ministra, with only Madoka approaching her level. In that state she can also attack using a titanic spiked mace. Her childhood friend Yukino was recently lost in Mundus Magicus, and Haruka has sworn she'll find her. After kissing Negi accidentally, she insists they are engaged in marriage so he can clear her maidenly honor.

 **Saotome Haruna:** Negi's eighth Pactio partner. A young woman filled with love towards all those around her, but she only knows how to express it through ways that make everyone believe she's a pervert. She's also a pervert. She grew up in a large home filled with all sorts of sincere but strange love, marking her outlook on life forever. Her father, a devoted martial artist, trained her as a fighter once it was clear he wouldn't be getting a male heir and her mother wouldn't let him give her a magical sex-change, but Haruna would rather be a sequential artist with a keen eye for erotic design, and an accomplished librarian and book lover.

A girl with a modern heart, deeply devoted to her boyfriend Rito but also willing to engage in sensuous pursuits with those she regards as her comrades for life. Haruna's Pactio gives her a drawing set that can make her creations come to life magically, allowing her for a wide variety of attack and defense functions. However, any damage her creations get will also impact negatively upon herself.

 **Yukihiro Ayaka:** Negi's ninth Pactio partner. The class representative of Class 3-A and Makie's roommate. Ayaka is, much like Haruka, dutiful and mindful of authority, but tends to implement her power in subtler, less imposing ways, making her a woman of the people despite her aristocratic origins. Her only enemies are Misa, her rival in love, and mostly Asuna, whom she's been clashing with since Asuna's arrival at Mahora years ago. Despite her quirks of occasional gullibility, Ayaka is a respected leader both in the campus and within Ala Alba, as long as her strange tensions with Asuna and her over the top affections towards Negi aren't getting the best of her.

Her mother is a Mundus Magicus battle mage who married a Japanese businessman, and Ayaka has a natural affinity for magic which might even approach Negi's if she trained it hard enough. As it is, she stands happy to remain one of his lieutenants. Ayaka is a skilled equestrian and outstanding student, well read and cultured. She loves roses and refined things. Her Pactio consists of a powerful whip, although it is less versatile than other weapons at Ala Alba's avail.

 **Akashi Yuuna:** Negi's tenth Pactio partner. Her father is Professor Akashi Wataru, the Master of Caster in the Holy Grail War. Yuuna and her father love each other dearly, growing mutually dependent after the death of Yuuna's mother Yuuka, who was Wataru's Ministra. Like her mother, Yuuna has a Pactio Artifact consisting of a set of handguns shooting magic canceling knockout projectiles.

She's a sharp tongued young woman who is well aware of her sexuality, is not above teasing others with it, and lost her virginity in a lesbian tryst with a parallel world version of a friend of hers. Despite that, she won't commit herself to actual relationships easily, and claims she needs to find someone who is as reliable as her father. She's actually in cahoots with Skuld and Chao behind the backs of the rest of Ala Alba, thinking it's in everyone's best interests to reveal magic to the world at large. Yuuna is a bit of a neat freak and hates sloppy behavior, something she'll sometimes rant at Makie about.

 **Hasegawa Sora:** Negi's eleventh Pactio partner. A mousy, mild mannered and shy college student, and Chisame's older sister. She's never had a boyfriend, and used to pine hopelessly after a sophisticated playboy who never even noticed her. Sora is painfully insecure of herself, claiming to be a failure at everything but mechanics, where she's as accomplished as Keiichi. What hurts her the most is thinking of herself of a failure as a big sister, exasperating Chisame, who can't help walking all over her without even trying.

Sora is even smaller than her teenaged sister, with little in the way of breasts, a freckled face, and terrible cooking skills. Her Pactio Artifact is a wondrous vehicle she can drive through land, air or water and unleash a myriad of different attack types upon her foes, but she's too much of a pacifist to make an effective use of it. Used to be a student of Nekomi Tech Institute until she moved to Mahora along Keiichi, so she could help Chisame and Negi.

 **Konoe Konoka:** Negi's twelfth Pactio partner. The sole granddaughter of Mahora's Headmaster Konoe Konoemon, daughter of his daughter Kouko (often nicknamed 'Konoeko') and Nagi's old friend swordsman Eishun, adopted into the Konoe clan. Neither of them knows it, but she and Yuuna are cousins since Eishun and Wataru are brothers separated since their earliest childhood. She also has a half-sister, renegade young biker and brooding delinquent Kuga Natsuki, daughter of Eishun and shady researcher Kuga Saeko, who disappeared years ago. Natsuki is protective of Konoka from a distance, but Konoka has no idea she's her sister.

Konoka is a cheerful, optimistic girl deeply in love with her 'bodyguard' Setsuna, but is not above teasing others, Setsuna included, for her own entertainment. She hides an overwhelming magical potential that could greatly surpass Negi's given enough training. Her Pactio grants her a set of ceremonial fans that greatly boost her already impressive healing magic, making her Ala Alba's default White Mage.

 **Sakurazaki Setsuna** : Negi's thirteenth Pactio partner. Setsuna's mother was a member of the crow demon tribe from the Japanese hillside, a race of ancient creatures in slow decline due to mankind's ravages upon nature. Her father is David Cain, globetrotter killer for hire and also father to Lady Shiva's spawn Cassandra and Tsukuyomi, the daughter of a wayward Aoyama. Tsukuyomi and Setsuna were adopted by the Konoes, but a psychotic fit of young Tsukuyomi upon Konoka made both sisters fall into disgrace in Kouko's eyes, something Konoka has never fully forgiven her mother for.

Setsuna devotes her life to Konoka's service almost obsessively, thinking herself to be unfit of her company as an equal, no matter what Konoka says on the contrary. Setsuna is a prodigy of the sword, gifted with superhuman skill and speed, which she puts to good use as an unofficial guardian of Mahora's borders. Being half-crow demon, she also has wings that can be deployed to allow her flight, although she hates doing so out of a sense of shame and self disgust. Negi's alliance granted upon her a magical sword that increases her fighting efficiency even further. She is currently training Asuna in the ways of the blade, and she's developed a good friendship with her.

 **Cocone Fatima Rosa:** Negi's fourteenth Pactio partner. She's Misora's roommate, fellow nun in training, and best friend. Her appearance is that of a little girl, but she might actually be older due to coming from a mysterious race of Mundus Magicus inhabitants. Exactly how old is she, nobody but she knows. She's a girl of scarce, measured words, quiet and responsible, hard working and always looking after Misora. Misora ignores it altogether, but Cocone is in love with her, something everybody else, even Negi, is well aware of.

Cocone is a good student and has several good friends in her Elementary class. She hates wearing shoes and goes without them at any given chance. Through her Pactio with Negi, she has access to a small cross that allows her to summon devastating divine lightning from the sky that might not actually be magical in origin.

 **Kugimiya Madoka** : Negi's fifteenth Pactio partner. Another cheerleader, Misa and Sakurako's friend and roommate. Madoka is a common sense individual who can easily grow exasperated over her friends' extreme quirks. She has a complex over her slightly husky voice, which she thinks to be masculine and ugly. She has romantic feelings for Kyon-sempai from the S.O.S. Brigade club, moving her to serve the Brigade and their deranged leader-president-dictator Suzumiya Haruhi for a few months.

Currently, she's Haruhi's mole in Ala Alba, something everybody in Ala Alba is aware of because Haruhi told them herself. Madoka's Pactio with Negi allows her access to a huge mallet and superhuman strenght surpassed, within the ranks of the Ministra, only by Haruka's. The Pactio also puts her in a skimpy battle bikini, which mortifies her to no end.

 **Itoshiki Nozomu:** Negi's colleague, homeroom and Social Studies teacher to High School Class 3-F, 3-A's sworn rivals. He's far better than Negi at hiding his secret status as a dark mage, and out of all of his students, only Ai, Matoi, and the carefree Ooda Kanako are aware of it. Itoshiki is a morbidly depressed man with a worrying obsession towards his own destruction, but a curse/blessing placed upon him from birth by his father prevents him from ever dying from anything but old age. Much to his regret, he's still a young man. During his childhood, along Takahata, he was a tagalong kid to Nagi's Ala Rubra team, where he fell in unrequited puppy love with Negi's mother, Princess Arika. Due to this, he holds some level of paternal love towards Negi and considers himself honorbound to protect him to the best of his abilities, despite him having no faith at all in said abilities.

Itoshiki has abysmal self-esteem and makes a drama out of everything, thanks to his pessimistic, self-defeating attitude. Despite everything, often it seems like his repeated and useless suicide attempts are more of a way to call attention upon himself than a genuine desire to end his own existence. He can control darkness by using a wooden ruler as his magical catalyst. His relationship with Takahata is a strange one; Itoshiki seems him as a rival of sorts despite thinking himself hopelessly inferior, but Takahata only thinks of Nozomu as a good, even if patience trying, friend. His family is very powerful both magically and economically, and his younger sister Rin studies at England's Clock Tower, pretty much like another talented snarking girl named Rin.

 **Kaga Ai:** Itoshiki's Pactio partner, who learned his secret accidentally through Negi and Itoshiki's conflict with vampire witch Evangeline A.K. Mc Dowell. Ai is an extremely nervous girl who will blame herself over anything and everything. She was born in a small ninja village hidden in the mountains and actually has ninja training, but she's never brought it up because she thinks she's bad at it, because she's afraid of hurting others badly, and because the original canon hadn't revealed she was a ninja when she was first written into this story.

Ai loves her teacher very dearly and, like most of 3-F, finds the fact anyone, much less the rest of the school, could be in love with Negi perplexing, although she won't say it aloud. She's decided she'll aim to become Nozomu's wife after she's graduated. Her Pactio with him allows her to use a magical umbrella she can control water with, generally in the form of massive water blasts or bubble shields.

 **Skuld:** The Norse goddess of the future, who joined Negi's class as Student Number Thirty Two after helping them defeat Amagasaki Chigusa during their trip to Kyoto. Skuld has a hidden agenda to free her sister Belldandy, kept a prisoner by humans in Mundus Magicus, and part of her grand plan involves allying herself with Chao Lingshen to reveal magic to the world behind Negi's back. While on Earth, Skuld assumes the pretend family name Jottunsdottir. Skuld has little magical powers herself, but she's an expert on mechanical engineering and programming. She can easily create devices challenging human understanding out of mere household junk, and if given access to the Yggrdasil Net, from which she's cut off at the time, she could perform genuine feats of massive reality warping, although those tend to be forbidden by her superiors.

Skuld has the appearance of a cute thirteen year old girl, but she's actually, like her sisters, older than mankind itself. She loves ice cream, and she's Yuuna's new roommate, driving her crazy through her habits of piling mechanical pieces and half-built artifacts all over their apartment.

 **Morisato Keiichi:** Skuld's first Pactio partner, and in a prior life, soul mate to Belldandy. Back then Skuld hated him for stealing her sister's attentions away from her, but now she'd rather prefer for him to remember her. Sora's sempai at the Nekomi Motor Club, where he fell in unrequited love with campus diva Mishima Sayoko. Morisato is short for his age (and unlikely to grow any beyond this point) and rather unlucky, but he's reliable and has the most laid back, easygoing and reasonable overall attitude of all the boys in Ala Alba.

He's a master racer, and his Pactio reflects that, allowing him to drive literally anything, even normally immobile objects, he can attach his steering Wheel Artifact onto. He can drive those objects as well as he'd handle a motorcycle or automobile afterwards. He has a set of loving parents he's very attached to, making him a rarity in Ala Alba, mostly made up of people who were orphaned or distanced from their families (save Haruna and Makie and, to a lesser degree, Ayaka). He's also got a little sister, so he can bond with Rito over being the foolish big brother to the smarter Imouto.

 **Sasaki Makie:** Skuld's second Pactio partner. Makie actually stole a kiss and Pactio from Skuld when she thought she'd need an Artifact of her own to survive through the Kyoto crisis. She thinks Negi is the cutest thing ever, but she might be falling in love with Skuld and/or Keiichi lately, instead. Even though Skuld treats her harshly and with little patience, Makie is very devoted and admiring of her and her cuteness. Makie is friendly and open, but also terribly dense and hates studying. Her thought patterns are often strange, to say the least, and she follows her own kind of twisted logics.

Makie is an expert gymnast, and her Pactio consists of a set of gymnastic tools she can use to deceivingly strong effect in a fight. However, her actual talent relies on firearms, much to everyone's surprise, and her skill at shooting greatly surpasses Yuuna's with a surprising depth of pragmatic ruthlessness to match. She was taught about guns by her 'mother' Homura Akemi, a loving but cold woman with a mysterious past who moved in with Makie's biological mother after the Sasakis' divorce. Makie still gets to see her father (and the little brother left in his custody) often, and they love each other very much, too.

 **Lala Satalin Deviluke:** The firstborn princess of the galactic empire of Deviluke. The Devilukes are a warrior race descended from the demons of Venus; while normally only a mage could provide the Magister Magi for an Alliance, enough of Lala's lineage was kept pure for her to retain enough demon blood as to make it work. Lala is a friendly and approachable young lady, but her upbringing has left her with a curious lack of concern or regret for all those her father's conquests have massacred across hundreds of planets. If asked, she'd just tell you those were sad but necessary losses in the search for a peaceful and unified galaxy and then ask you if you want to play. She's pure hearted enough, in her own way, to be the only person cosmic tyrant Frieza has any degree of genuine fondness for, as they were childhood playmates and would occasionally blow cities up together. In her mind, if you're her friend, she'll always protect you no matter what.

Lala loves Rito, Ayase Yue and, to a lesser but still very meaningful level, Haruna, and she thinks of them all as her spouses. She has no nudity taboo and will usually prefer walking around in the bare until she's told otherwise. She's a technological genius to rival Satomi and Skuld, and a powerful hand to hand combatant to boot. Has two younger sisters, twins to each other; the mischievous and seductive Momo and the fiery, self-assured Nana. They're currently on their way to visit her on Earth.

 **Yuuki Rito:** Lala's fiance and Pactio partner. He's been in love with Haruna for years, and much to his shock, she agreed to be his girlfriend after finding the love letter he'd written to her and would most likely never deliver personally or otherwise. Afterwards, he unwillingly became Lala's husband-to-be when he grabbed her tail. He's been looking after his little sister Mikan since their parents pretty much abandoned them in Mahora, although eventually the wiser and calmer Mikan pretty much ended up the surrogate mother to him and their troubled cousin Nao.

Rito's a bundle of hyperactive nerves and tends to overreact about everything. He's bad to mediocre at most things he tries, but he has a skilled hand for carny tricks, an undeniable competence in football, and an impressive mastery in gardening, which he also loves. Fittingly, his Pactio with Lala presented him with a magical watering can that can make any plant grow supernaturally, and he even can use them to attack others or defending himself. His clumsy habits to often trip and fall on girls and accidentally glomp them have made most students derogatorily call him 'the Perverted Beast', although he only has eyes for Haruna. He's mildly jealous of Haruna's affection towards Negi, and insecure of Haruna's intimately physical relationship with Lala.

 **Emiya Shirou:** The adopted son of Kiritsugu Emiya, the Magus Killer, occasional partner of Nagi Springfield after the dissolving of Ala Rubra. Originally born in the doomed city of Fuyuki, when it burned in the last day of the Fourth Holy Grail War, Shirou was rescued by Kiritsugu and raised in Mahora. Shirou grew up admiring his father and when he died, Shirou decided to become a Hero of Great Justice himself, no matter the cost. However, Shirou's magical capacities are mediocre at best and abysmal at worst; his only known talents lie with reinforcing and projection, and he could only become a Magister to Saber because of their previously existing link as Master and Servant.

He's a good sword fighter trained by his sensei Fujimura Taiga, however, and he's also an accomplished archer. Shirou's somewhat dense and bull-headed, slightly out of touch with his peers and endowed with a set of values more befitting the previous generation; regardless, his heart's always in the right place, he greatly values sll life besides his own over all things, he's loyal to a fault, and he'll go out of his way to help others no matter what. He's also a great cook and he's hung like a horse.

 **Saber (Artoria Pendragon):** Shirou's Servant and Pactio partner. The youngest daughter of Uter, King of the Britons, after her father's death she was raised as a boy, a humble, downtrodden squire in Sir Ector's castle. Found and taught by Merlin, the greatest mage of his era, Artoria became King of her homeland after drawing out Caliburn, the sword in the stone. Her kingdom, full of wonder and prosperity, came into decay, and then ended ignominiously under a rebellion headed by her son Mordred. Who was just as much of a man as she was. Summoned back into the world, first in the Fourth War by Kiritsugu and then in the Fifth by Shirou, Saber fights on to ask for a wish to save her country even at the cost of her own life.

Even while diminished through Shirou's shortcomings as a Master, Saber's power as a swordmaster is all but peerless, and she most likely could defeat the rest of those listed here, all banded together, all on her own. Shirou's lack of proficiency as a conventional magus means their Pactio hasn't given her a specific Artifact, but has blessed her with easier access to her Noble Phantasms and an increased set of stats. Saber is serious, reserved, a tactical genius and capable both as a leader and a follower. Her main character flaw is her willingness to endure everything by herself tends to alienate and distance those around her, often making her unrelatable to others. If Shirou's hung like a horse, she eats like one.

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 **To be Continued**.


	2. Prologue

Akamatsu Ken and Kodansha created and own _Mahou Sensei Negima!_

The Walt Disney Company and Square Enix created and own _Kingdom Hearts_.

We own nuthin', but we created this little thing here. We make no money from it, though.

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 **The Keys of the Kingdom HD 2.8 Final Chapter Prologue Turbo Hyper Champion Edition Gold**.

 **By OverMaster and Shadow Crystal Mage**.

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 **Prologue**.

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It was the first time Negi Springfield had that dream. A dream of falling through darkness, with the bandaged wooden staff he had received from his father in his hand. Negi's small, light body felt more like it was slowly floating down than anything else, as an icy chill caressed the skin of his exposed face and hands. The rest of his body was covered by his dark green suit with red tie, the same one he had used through most of his teaching days over the last few months.

He vaguely remembered a few passages from one of the stories his sister Nekane loved to tell him, back in the peaceful hills of Wales.

' _Well!' thought Alice to herself, 'after such a fall as this, I shall think nothing of tumbling down stairs! How brave they'll all think me at home! Why, I wouldn't say anything about it, even if I fell off the top of the house!' (Which was very likely true.)_

Negi was not afraid. He was a brave young man, and the events that had transpired around him since his arrival to Mahora had only further steeled his resolve and courage. He also fancied himself a rational mind, for the standards of the magical community at least, so he was fairly sure there was something impossible about the current scenario he was living through. Last thing he remembered before that was going to sleep in the small bedroom he shared with his students and Ministra Magi Hasegawa Chisame and Hakase Satomi, and that did not gel at all with what was happening to him right then. However, for some reason, he was not waking up yet, as was the custom whenever he realized what he was dreaming at the time just couldn't be possible.

Still, he felt no fear, but an acute sense of annoyance.

 _Down, down, down. Would the fall_ never _come to an end! "I wonder how many miles I've fallen by this time?" she said aloud. "I must be getting somewhere near the centre of the Earth. Let me see: that would be four thousand miles down, I think—" (for, you see, Alice had learnt several things of this sort in her lessons in the schoolroom, and though this was not a_ very _good opportunity for showing off her knowledge, as there was no one to listen to her, still it was good practice to say it over) "-yes, that's about the right distance-but then I wonder what Latitude or Longitude I've got to?" (Alice had no idea what Latitude was, or Longitude either, but thought they were nice grand words to say.)_

Negi realized his eyes had been closed, and he opened them again, hoping that would wake him up, but it made no difference, for everything around him remained darkness, with only a pinpoint of white light faintly glowing as high as his gaze could go. He tried reaching for it with the hand that wasn't holding his staff, but it was as pointless as he had expected it to be, although now his fall seemed to be growing faster, as punctuated by the increased force of the cold air hitting his face and messing his dark red hair up.

"Chisame," he said, calling out with a very weak voice.

 _Down, down, down. There was nothing else to do, so Alice soon began talking again. "Dinah'll miss me very much to-night, I should think!" (Dinah was the cat.) "I hope they'll remember her saucer of milk at tea-time. Dinah my dear! I wish you were down here with me! There are no mice in the air, I'm afraid, but you might catch a bat, and that's very like a mouse, you know. But do cats eat bats, I wonder?"_

 _And here Alice began to get rather sleepy, and went on saying to herself, in a dreamy sort of way, `Do cats eat bats? Do cats eat bats?' and sometimes, `Do bats eat cats?' for, you see, as she couldn't answer either question, it didn't much matter which way she put it. She felt that she was dozing off, and had just begun to dream that she was walking hand in hand with Dinah, and saying to her very earnestly, `Now, Dinah, tell me the truth: did you ever eat a bat?' when suddenly, thump! thump! down she came upon a heap of sticks and dry leaves, and the fall was over._

And just like that, barely hurting his behind as he landed on it, Negi reached the bottom of the abyss.

The boy sat up, and now he could see something; he could see thanks to the lights emanating from the floor, which was covered by a variety of stained glass portraits, each one decorated with the face of a different, attractive young woman. Later Negi could not remember the exact details of each girl's face, however, except for the one displayed on the portrait right before his face. It was a gorgeous face that combined the vitality of youth with the stern demeanor of maturity, framed by a long golden mane, and sparkling at its middle with the mismatched bright of a blue eye and a green eye.

Just like Asuna-san's eyes.

" _This,"_ a deep, strong male voice told him _, "is your heart."_

"My heart?" Negi repeated, thinking he had heard that voice before.

" _So much to do, and so little time…"_ the voice mused, seeming to come from everywhere at once. _"The times are upon you now, Negi. The times where you will have to fight."_

"I have fought already," he said, standing up. "I have even faced and defeated the Queen of the Night, Evangeline, and… and the demon who destroyed our village…."

" _Your fights haven't started yet, Negi,"_ the voice said. _"Evangeline had mercy on you. Those waiting ahead for you will not. Protect those around you, and allow them to protect you as well. Only that way, you'll prevail where I failed. Don't make the same mistakes I made."_

"The mistakes you…?" the young boy gulped, sweating despite how cold he was feeling. "Are you…?"

Negi felt a chill running down his spine, and then several of the glass panels flew in pieces, spraying sharp shards all around him, forcing him to back away on staggering feet, shielding himself with a sleeve and the staff. From the new holes on the floor, several small creatures rose, surrounding him quickly from all directions. Their bodies were dark and almost featureless, armed with long, clawed limbs; and their faces were marked by nothing but red glowing eyes above large, crooked grins full of long fangs.

Now Negi _did_ feel a bit of fear.

But his battle instincts, that had been honed lately, during his training under the Vampire Witch of legend, took over for him almost instantly. _"Rastel Maskir Magister!"_ he chanted. _"Veniant Spiritus Aeriales Fulgurantes!"_ he added, and shot a barrage of lightning bolt discharges from his staff at the beings who were charging towards him.

The dark creatures flew in all directions, away from him, but while a few dissipated into shadows from the impact, the largest of them rose back and ran towards Negi, waving their members threateningly.

" _Jovis Tempestas Fulguriens!"_ Negi growled, with a raw ferocity that bubbled up his chest, taking aim at the group of attackers and hitting them squarely with a wave of blinding light projectiles that skewered the menacing beings, destroying the remainder of them. However, the discharge shook him as well, and sent him down to his knees, forcing him to support himself on the staff, panting for air. "I'm…" he said between pants, "I'm not strong enough, not yet…"

 _"Live strong, but mostly, live happy, Negi,"_ the friendly, warm voice told him. _"And don't ever live alone. Find your mother, and make her happy as well. For she is the Key… one of the Keys…"_

"What?" Negi blinked, his lower lip trembling. "My mother? I thought my mother was dead, that's what everyone told me at the village, why are you telling me this…?"

" _Now, it is time to wake up,"_ the voice said. _"But never let your dream die. And remember; a little courage is the true magic."_

"Father!" Negi cried, working back to his feet. "Father, wait! Don't let me-!"

The whole of the floor shattered, and once again, the darkness swallowed Negi, as there was nothing to hold him under his feet anymore.

 _"You will open the door, my son."_

And then he woke up.

* * *

 **To be Continued**.


	3. Mahora?

Akamatsu and Kodansha created and own Negima. We don't.

Sunrise created and own Mai HiME. We don't.

Kumeta and Kodansha created and own Zetsubou Sensei. We don't.

Fujishima and Kodansha created and own OMG! We don't.

Nasu and Type-Moon created and own Fate. We don't.

Yabuki, Hasemi and Shueisha created and own TLR. We don't.

You aren't making us any money from reading this, and we aren't getting any from writing it either.

* * *

 **The Keys of the Kingdom HD 2.8 Final Chapter Prologue Turbo Hyper Champion Edition Gold**.

 **By OverMaster and Shadow Crystal Mage**.

* * *

 **Chapter One**.

* * *

"You lazy, no good bum," Evangeline A.K. Mc Dowell told him the next afternoon of their current three hours-outside three-days inside after classes session, as he rested on his back, on the sandy grounds of her favorite training arena, deep into her hidden resort, which was located in the basement of her cabin in the Mahora woods. Said resort was in a pocket dimension stored inside of a large bottle, which was one of the many things that would have been normally mind breaking even for a mage, but he had come to readily accept over the last few months. Now, Eva calling him bad mean names, he still couldn't get used to that. "How do you want to call yourself my student with that kind of attitude?"

"Get easy on him already, Evangeline," Chisame groaned from the sidelines, where she sat with the rest of Negi's Ministra, as well as the rest of Ala Alba; ermine Chamo, Itoshiki Nozomu-sensei, his Ministra and pupil Kaga Ai, Chisame's love-crazy Tsunetsuki Matoi (also another student of Itoshiki), young goddess Skuld, and Skuld's Ministra Sasaki Makie and Morisato Keiichi. Plus the new, still unofficial members, alien princess Lala Satalin Deviluke, her Earthling fiance Yuuki Rito, inept magus-in-training and wannabe Hero of Great Justice Emiya Shirou, and Shirou's Heroic Spirit Servant, the mysterious Saber. It had been a few rather hectic months. "Can't you see you've beaten him up to half-unconsciousness? Konoe, go heal him."

"Okay, Squad Leader!" the black-haired Konoe Konoka giggled, saluting the bespectacled girl with a giggle and a casual flick of fingers on her own forehead before merrily skipping over to Negi's prone form, an unfolded fan in each hand. "Now be still, Negi-kun, this will take no time at all…" she cooed, kneeling down at his side.

The tiny, blonde Evangeline gave Chisame a scathing look. "Boya won't go anywhere if you keep treating him with silk gloves, Hasegawa. Who are you to defy my authority on his education, anyway?"

"I'm at charge of his physical wellbeing," Chisame replied. "If you don't like that, go discuss it with the Headmaster."

Evangeline sneered, now looking condescendingly at Yukihiro Ayaka as the blue-eyed heiress helped a newly healed Negi to stand back up. "Perhaps I will. I hadn't started having fun with Boya yet, and who are you guys to take one of my few pleasures away from me?"

Evangeline's robotic servant Karakuri Chachamaru, who had been standing in silence before her since the sparring match's end, said "Master, I was under the impression you regarded these times spent with Negi-sensei as mere inconvenient annoyances…"

"Be quiet, you," the diminutive Queen of the Night snorted.

"I'm okay with another round if you want to supply me with one, Master," Negi said as he rotated his left arm, much to Ayaka's gasping horror and several groans from the other Ministra. "You're right, effective training is about pushing one's limits past their past endurance limits…"

"Only if you try and fight better this time around, Boya," Evangeline said, falling into a battle stance. "What is your problem now? During this fight, you looked like your damn mind was somewhere else…"

"I did?" Negi blinked, while Saber, who was the most prone to catch on those things out of all those present save Eva herself, nodded. "Hm, I only got distracted for a second, thinking of the dream I had last night, so I don't see how—"

"What dream?" Evangeline and Chisame asked at the same time, to their mutual annoyance.

"Oh, it's nothing important," Negi said. "It was too silly and probably it's just another expression of my subconscious trauma that refuses to let go, like Arai-sensei said…"

Evangeline clenched her fingers in and off as she began floating up, ice and darkness swirling around her hands. "Sounds fun! So let's hear what torments your weak, pathetic heart, Boya, just as I take your body apart!"

"Evangeline-saaaaan!" Ayaka growled.

"And here we go again," Rito sighed, folding his arms as his beloved Haruna laughed in good spirits, quite amused at the usual antics of their mentor and their young leader.

The vampire laughed evilly as she thrusted her hands ahead and sent a first wave of black ice towards Negi, who had to roll aside just in time, barely dodging the terrifying attack…

"You know, I think you were right after all, Boya," Evangeline said, sipping from her cup of tea while a resigned Konoka healed Negi again, now the time limit after her latest healing had finally passed. "That dream sure sounded like your own mind playing tricks on you."

"It's kinda icky," Asuna cringed from where she sat the other end of the dinner table, while one of Chachamaru's doll maid 'sisters' served took her cleaned up plate for the washing. "Why did that woman in your dream had eyes like mine? You'd better not getting the wrong idea about me, brat!"

"Nonsensidical," the blond and busty Suzushiro Haruka 'harrumphed', primly cleaning the corners of her mouth with a napkin while Ayaka and Kakizaki Misa tensed up in alarm. "Negi-sensei is too much of a gentleman to have salascivious dreams about you, Kagurazuka-san!"

"Kagurazaka!" Asuna corrected. "Geez, VP, we've been training together for weeks by now, you really should have learned my proper name already!"

"I'm pretty sure my own proper name isn't 'VP'!" Haruka countered.

"She got you there, Asuna-chan…" Saotome Haruna nodded.

"You stay out of this, Paru," Asuna warned.

Negi blinked. "What wrong idea am I supposed to be getting, Asuna-san? I'm not sure I understand…"

"N-Never mind that, it's just Asuna-san being Asuna-san!" Ayaka said. "Anyway, Sensei, if you're feeling troubled, the best thing you can do is keeping opening your mind to m—us! That's what your subconscious, through your father figure, was trying to tell you, after all!"

Negi pouted. "He sounded so real, though. Just like that night in the snow. I might have sworn he actually was there…"

"Weren't you the very same guy who began this story by telling us it was just your imagination?" Asuna muttered.

"I know, I know!" Negi said. "But, well, it's like my rational mind knows it, and yet my heart keeps telling me something else…"

"Well," the dark-haired Akashi Yuuna said, "if we really want to know if Negi-kun's dream has any basis on reality, I think we have somebody onboard who, as a goddess of the future, should be aware of what's the future got in store for us. Just saying."

Slowly, the gazes of everyone in the resort's large and majestic main dining room drifted towards Skuld. Mostly that of Negi.

"What in the world do you hold against me?" Skuld asked Yuuna, then told the others, "Guys, we've talked about this before. I can't just tell you what the future has in store for you…"

"The other world's Ala Alba mentioned Sensei would have to pass through many tests to become as powerful as Magus Erebus-sensei, didn't they?" Ayaka asked.

"I clearly remember them saying I would have to defeat somebody named Jack Rakan in a year…" Negi mused.

"Which I still sustain is absolutely impossible," Itoshiki remarked.

"Gee, those meddling people!" Skuld cringed. "I'm telling you, trying to figure your future out is pointless! As soon as you do it, the future shifts again so its unpredictability factor may be maintained. I've put it in the simplest terms I could think of, and you still don't get it!"

"Well, can't you tell us how the future is in some of those alternate realities, then?" asked Shiina Sakurako asked, sitting as always beside Hakase.

"No, because that's too much of a cheap loophole!" Skuld said. "Odds are you'd get the wrong lessons and skip what you'd really have to learn anyway!"

"Not if we look at enough of those alternate realities!" the short-haired Tsunetsuki said.

Skuld stared at her. "You aren't in love with Chisame-san in any of those other realities."

"That's actually good to know. It means my devotion for Chisame-sama is unique as the most precious jewel!"

"Geh," Chisame said.

Skuld wagged a finger. "Interdimensional gazing devices, not that I'm admitting they exist, aren't toys, not even for deities. I'm not building you guys one, and I'm not letting Lala-san build one for you either, not even as an interesting conversation piece or display of my superior intellect, so please forget about asking further on the subject and just go back to creepily harassing Negi-sensei."

At this point, Lala, who had been about to cheerfully break into the conversation with a huge and radiant smile, simply dropped her shoulders and pouted cutely, with even her long, black, thin tail capped by a pointy spade bobbing down to match her abrupt mood change.

"Creepy?" Misa asked.

"Superior intellect? Yours?" Satomi echoed.

"Sku-chan," the pinkette Makie said, "aren't you looking for your long lost Oneechan? What if that other-world gizmo could allow you to find another world's Oneechan?"

"How would that help at all?" asked Skuld. "I want my sister, not some other Skuld's! And even if I wanted her, I'd have to share her!"

"Not if you murder your counterpart first," smiled Chachazero, Eva's tiny doll servant, now suddenly sitting on the table before her annoyed mistress.

"Who asked you about anything, abomination…?" Skuld grumbled.

"I do think that's a perfectly logical course of action under extremely pressing circumstances of duress, however," Lala said.

Matoi shrugged. "I suppose, in the worst of all possible cases, ending up with an alternate Chisame-sama would be better than ending up with no Chisame-sama at all."

"Can you tell us, at least, if those things Negi-sensei saw in his dream do exist?" asked the freckled Hasegawa Sora, very shyly.

Skuld paused before answering reluctantly, "I'm not saying they were the same creatures, but yeah, beings of that nature do exist in other planes of existence. Shadow demons created by dark, powerful overlords who exist in the space between dimensions. We call them Heartless, because they lack hearts of their own and resort to eating those of other creatures. If you ask me, it's just a coincidence, however. Negi was no doubt influenced by the memories of the demons he met at Kyoto, not to mention the popular imagery of shadowy menaces is very widely spread both between mages and mundanes."

"Okay, that makes good sense," Keiichi nodded.

Skuld nodded back. "And that's why you should stop worrying about that already and think of your own future in this very world instead! Any more questions?"

"Do you think at this very same moment, in some other world, some other Ala Alba is having this very same discussion about us?" Makie asked, very curious.

"Eeeeehhhhhh!"

* * *

"Whew!" Asuna breathed out as they all walked out of Evangeline's cottage, the early night already coming up the horizon. She stretched her arms up over her head. "That was some darn nice dinner! Chachamaru-chan sure outdid herself this time!"

"She's been collecting a lot of data from Yotsuba-san lately," Satomi said with obvious pride. "Isn't her rate of learning speed simply astonishing?"

"It isn't just that, though," Konoka said. "You also can feel her heart in her meals…"

"Oh, yes, that as well, I suppose."

"Oh, Sato-chi, you!" Sakurako gave her a playful pinch in an arm.

"What was that for?" Satomi blinked.

Sakurako sighed. "Never mind. My fingers slipped."

"Karakuri's cooking is indeed quite accomplished," Saber observed, still savoring the leftovers of taste lingering in her mouth, with all the careful consideration of a true conoisseur. "But even so, I will keep rating Shirou's above hers."

Kugimiya Madoka rolled her eyes. "Oh, of course you would, wouldn't you?"

Emiya grew a sweatdrop on his red-haired head. "Um, I don't think this is supposed to be a competition, I'd be perfectly okay with just—"

Saber raised a pointer finger solemnly. "No matter how perfect and close a copy is, it cannot defeat the original. And thusly, no matter how close to humanity an automaton may verge, said artificial individual cannot match the intangible quality a human's touch brings to the Heart of Meals."

"Seriously," Emiya said, "Chachamaru-san's as good a cook as myself if not far better, I don't see any need to discuss—"

Satomi frowned. "What are you trying to convey there, Saber-san? And to think I liked you until now, too…"

"Um, I hate to interrupt a private conversation like this," Ai-sempai whined, stopping all of a sudden. "But, I think I haven't memorized this path too well yet? Because I don't recognize this patch of the road, s-sorry…"

Ala Alba stopped as well, looking in all directions at the woods that surrounded their narrow paved way. Woods that seemed to be thicker than ever and loaded with an eerie, foreboding sense of menace than they had ever felt before. Owls hooted between the twisted branches of larger than usual trees, almost continuously, despite their being rather rare birds in the Mahora area. Even the skies themselves, now that Negi thought about it, seemed more sinister than the norm, shrouded with a faint reddish halo of sorts that stretched from North to South and from West to East.

"Say, you're right!" Misora gulped, reaching for her Pactio card with shaky fingers. "But, but, we must have taken a wrong turn…"

"What wrong turn?" Haruka asked, pulling her card out as well. "It's a road with no beofurcations or dejours! As straight as Sasaki-san's bustline!"

"Pettanko and with pride!" Makie humphed, then narrowing her eyes. "Beware, guys! My Gymnast-Sense is tingling! _ADEAT!_ "

"Gymnast-Sense?" Konoka asked. "Wha—"

"Duck, Ojou-sama!" Setsuna urged, quickly grabbing her and forcing her down with herself, as a large shadow drooped from one of the trees, lunging for Konoka's head and barely missing her.

At the same time, without a single word, Saber's unremarkable clothing ensemble of white blouse and long blue skirt changed into her armored blue battle gown, and with the hand not holding the hilt of her miraculous invisible sword, she pushed her Master's head down so he could duck in the nick of time, saving him from a swift beheading by something similarly dark and massive, much like Konoka's own unknown attacker. Both things, whatever they were, disappeared just as soon into the foliage of the surrounding trees.

"See, I told you!" Makie said, her magic ribbon already lashing out to latch onto another dark creature rushing at them from the bushes, and then slamming it against a tree trunk. "Homura-mama and Kodachi-sensei taught me well!"

"What is this, I don't even…" a confused Chisame babbled. "Oh, what the heck. _Adeat!_ " she called out as well, just like the rest of her Ministra partners, and the very next moment Ala Alba was in full battle regalia and falling into a circle formation, back to back, Negi clenching his teeth and chanting his activation between them, staff tightly held between both hands.

Even Rito, clad in his gardening Pactio regalia, took his place in the middle of the group, magical watering can firmly grabbed. Although… "I'll be honest with you, guys," he gulped. "If the trees themselves are attacking us, I'm not sure this thing won't be more harmful than useful!"

"Hey, Negi-kun," Misa said, looking at the dozens of black critters scurrying out of the woods' shadows to surround them from all flanks. "Would these happen to be the same monsters you saw in your dream?"

"Yes," Negi confirmed. "Remember, just like in the practices. Keep this formation and don't turn your backs on any of them…"

The first line of alleged Heartless sprung, with feral low grunts, towards the youngsters and the gasping scrawny adult, some of them brandishing what seemed to be crude sharp weapons, a few of them similar to swords, others more reminiscing of spears. Yuuna imagined herself in a Halloween shooting game as she relaxed, as per Makie's instructions during her handgun training. And her fingers began squeezing her triggers, magic cancelling bullets flying in all directions from her twin guns.

They worked, thank God, even better than Yuuna had expected. Even better than Asuna's paper fan, which ranked a close second best in the defense effort, restricted only by its lesser reach compared to Yuuna's fast projectiles. Misa's barrage of light needles was doing just fine as well, piercing through the quickly mounting waves and waves of seemingly beastlike, nearly mindless attackers; when perforated, the 'Heartless' dissipated almost just as quickly as when hit by anti-magic.

And then there was Saber, of course. Consistently, since her arrival to the team only a few days ago, Saber had proved herself, despite claiming to be currently handicapped, a far superior fighter to the rest of Ala Alba, Evangeline excluded. Even though her swordplay differed greatly in origins and mechanics from Setsuna, the bird hanyou girl had quickly admitted Saber's skill and raw power surfaced her own, and she moved through the battlefield with equal stamina, speed and agility, striking at the adversaries with surgical precision, taking their ever renewing ranks down without breaking a sweat. Her Invisible Air was proving to be just as good a match for the task, as well, harming the foul creatures upon impact more often than not. Negi now fully realized Saber's apparent disadvantage while fighting Berserker and Lancer had been a testament to both men's might rather than a disservice to Saber's own capacities.

The others were holding their own for the most part, especially Negi's repeated Sagitta Magica, but not nearly as well as the four 'top scoring' girls. Skuld's mallet, Madoka's giant hammer, and Haruka's spiked mace crushed the Heartless efficiently enough, but their limited speed was a problem, and while they were doing decently for now, soon they would be overwhelmed at that rate. Ai's water streams from her Pactio umbrella, Lala's devastating kicks and blows, and the punches from Hakase's metal arms were only keeping the monsters at bay, not destroying them.

Misora and Cocone only could throw loaded crosses around as fast as they could, and while they did a good job at burning the beings with their holy power, the nuns in training only had a limited amount on them, one Misora's very speed guaranteed would reach its limit soon. Cocone might have used her Heavenly Lightning Artifact under other circumstances, but fighting the monsters in such close quarters, her discharges would most likely hit her teammates just as much as the enemies.

Setsuna's Shinmeiryuu techniques and Haruna's creations, while skilled and spectacular as always, somehow seemed to be less efficient against this variety of shadow demons than against the enemies at Kyoto. Itoshiki's own shadow magic seemed to fare the worst, doing almost no damage to all to the cackling, ferally gushing adversaries.

"Negi!" Chisame said, her scepter's electric discharges faring no much better than Nozomu's magic. "In that dream, you could take these guys out on your own, couldn't you!"

"There weren't as many of them then!" Negi protested, kicking a Heartless his arrows had missed in the face, and sending him flying back. He had little time to congratulate himself on how much the kick had resembled those Ku Fei had shown him. "We must find their source as stop them from there!"

"Yeah, they just keep coming at us, don't they?" asked Yuuna, silently thanking God her ammo was limitless. Or at least, she had found no limit to it yet during her training. She hoped she wouldn't have to find one tonight either. "Negi-kun, if you're still dreaming, this'd be a good time to wake up!"

"What nonsense are you spouting, Yuuna-san?" said Ayaka, whose whip was doing about as well as Hakase's punches were, barely giving her any room to breathe and move. "I'd suggest going back to Evangeline's cottage! Surely she'll know what to do!"

"For once I agree with her!" Asuna said, slamming another Heartless down into dust. "Unless Skuld-chan here knows how to kill all these things at once!"

"I'm a Bug exterminator, not a Heartless—" Skuld began to say, right before a beam from above slashed the Heartless before them in a clean sweep, cutting them in two. Similar beams began descending on all those monsters swarming around Ala Alba, maiming and destroying them with clockwork efficiency. "Oh, Father…!"

"Chachamaru!" Satomi smiled even before looking up, well aware such machine-like skill could only come from a person in the world. "You're here to save your poor mother! And your new mom! And your dad!"

"I'm a mother now?" a perplexed Sakurako asked.

"I'm a dad?!" Negi gasped.

"… I'm not sure I would agree on those designations, especially the latter," Chachamaru, still clothed in her French maid uniform, beam cannon firmly in her grasp, began descending as the Heartless screamed and quickly poured back into the woods, fleeing the scene as fast as they could. "But yes, I hurried to your rescue as soon as we heard the commotion, Mother. Are you all okay?"

"We almost were killed, but yes, you arrived just in time, Karakuri-san," Ayaka breathed out, nodding. "My deepest thanks."

"My pleasure, Iinchou-san," Chachamaru landed right between Satomi and Negi. Her eyes glowed in faint emerald as she looked between the trees, now the Heartless had cleared the path out. "There's some sort of unknown shielding presence blocking my vision of the woods. I would advise against going to search for these 'Heartless' and their whereabouts or origins."

"You don't have to tell me that twice!" Misora gasped. "What the hell's going on here?! Who's responsible for this?!"

Shirou looked dubiously at his Servant. "Saber? Does this look like the handwork of an enemy Servant?"

"A Caster might conceivably have summoned these devils," Saber icily observed, her eyes still scanning the borders of the woodland, as if expecting for another attack anytime now. "The unknown surroundings would be explained by an able Caster's Territory Creation skill, as well. Even so, I cannot sense a Servant's hand on this just yet. I am as confused as you are, Shirou. Perhaps Lady Mc Dowell would have a better defined view on the subject?"

"Lady Mc Dowell? Where—Oh," Shirou quietly finished, realizing the silent arrival of yet another individual to the site.

"My theories are only mine to know, Knight Errant, but I do have them," Evangeline said coldly, appearing in the air above them, in her skimpy black lingerie and cape ensemble, which fluttered in the cold nocturnal air. "Although, I'm not sure yet if to punish or reward whoever did this…"

"Master!" Negi said, eyes almost popping out, and not only because of Evangeline's near nudity. "But, this isn't a full moon night!"

"New moon, indeed, and yet look at me…" Eva sultrily smiled as she landed on her bare feet before him, a hand cocked on her hip. When Negi naturally blushed and looked down, she cackled. "Well, I love a well crafted mystery! This one, however, works on a different level. The straight answer is pretty simple… Nagi's spell doesn't work anymore because we aren't at Mahora."

"Say what?!" Haruka cried.

"Look," Eva pointed towards the South. "No World Tree anywhere in sight. My cottage seems to have been moved into another world, probably at the same time Boya was having his dream in my resort. If I had to hazard a guess, I'd say we are in Mundus Magicus, although it doesn't feel right, for some reason… That's where the actual mysterious part of this conundrum comes in."

"Well, whaddya know, it's true!" Sakurako whistled, looking Southward as well. She could see a tiny village near the river, in between what would have been the locations of the World Tree and Library Island. A village barely lit by small dots of yellow gleam. "My horoscope this morning told me to look for an unexpected trip…"

Chisame facepalmed. "Oh, for the sake of…! Can't we spend more than a month without falling into a new weird dangerous thing after the last one?!"

* * *

 **To be Continued**.


	4. Traverse Town

We didn't create Negima, Zetsubou Sensei, Final Fantasy, To Love Ru, Mai HiME, Oh my Goddess, or Fate. Kodansha, Akamatsu, Kumeta, Square, Sunrise, Hasemi, Shueisha, Type-Moon, Yabuki, Fujishima and Nasu did. Now you know whom to blame.

We are making no money from writing or re-writing this crap.

We didn't create Pucca either. This has no bearing whatsoever on the chapter, but we thought we'd still mention it anyway.

* * *

 **The Keys of the Kingdom HD 2.8 Final Chapter Prologue Turbo Hyper Champion Edition Gold**.

 **By OverMaster and Shadow Crystal Mage**.

* * *

 **Chapter Two**.

* * *

It had been a long, tense march through the woods over the next hour or so, but on the plus side, they at least had not been attacked by anyone… or anything… else.

"You know I don't like feeding that bad habit of yours," Hasegawa Chisame said now as she walked along her Magister along well paved dark streets, barely lit by a single lamppost placed at each block. The buildings they passed by were just as dark, with no almost no lights coming out their windows; and the few that had them were placed very high in the top stories of the tallest edifications of them all. They also were very different from each other, as if the town had been patched up together from the shredded remains of several mutually apart small cities, in a bizarre architectonic cacophony. Overall, the village gave an eerie sensation of being nearly abandoned, although hardly in ruins or alarming decay.

Negi blinked and looked at her. "Which bad habit?"

"What else? That bad habit of yours, of blaming yourself over every little thing!" the young woman with glasses growled, tossing her hands up. "But this time, I really think it's definitely your damn fault!"

"Language, Chisame," Negi chided her. "And why would this be my fault?"

"Yes, why would it be, Chisame-san, she of the bad language?" Ayaka asked, rather pointedly.

"We just stepped out into what seems to be another world, with no idea of how we got here, so that's obviously magic screwing us over yet again, and you're magical, so of course it's your fault until otherwise proved!" the teenager yelled at the much shorter red-haired boy. "As simple as that, genius!"

"And the critters we fought were originally in HIS dream, as well," Itoshiki nodded. "Although I imagine we are fortunate we haven't fallen into one of MY dreams instead. Now that would be despairing!"

Chamo, Rito, Matoi, Misa, Asuna, Misora, Yuuna, Setsuna, Skuld, Sora and Keiichi all shuddered from heads to toes. Lala, however, after a moment of thinking it over carefully, simply let out a silly, highly amused short laugh. "Haa-haaaa!"

"Evangeline-chan is magical as well," Makie pointed towards Eva. "What if it's her fault instead?"

"Why would it be?!" Evangeline shouted.

"You always say you're evil, and this is a clearly evil thing that has happened to us!" Makie argued.

"I believe this is an extremely rare case where the Master's willingness to do actual evil is just as short as her capacity to pull off this level of evildoing," Chachamaru quietly opined.

"Nobody asked you!" Evangeline snapped.

Negi blinked, pondering their words for a few moments, before saying, "When you put it like that, you make a lot of sense, Chisame-san, Itoshiki-sensei, but this apparent displacement seems to be, as Karakuri-san put it, far beyond even the Master's capacities, never mind my own, so I don't feel confident saying it's my fault just yet. Besides, I don't think we should talk about 'the M-word' aloud until we learn if that's of public knowledge around these places..."

Chisame facepalmed. "So now of all times you choose to be rational over emotional! And look around us, will you?!" she gestured in all directions, startling the oddly yellow skinned dog who had been following them ever since they reached the village's outskirts. "Other than this mutt, we haven't found anyone in this godforsaken ghost town! Frankly, if yelling about magic gets anyone to notice us, so be it!"

Makie pouted, idly caressing the head of the dog that had been marching at her side. "Don't call him like that! Isn't it nice from him, escorting us like this to protect us?"

"So what if a mutt starts following you like that, he's just hoping to have some meat thrown at him, that's what mutts are supposed to-" Chisame stopped herself, looked back at the dog, and asked him, "You're just playing dumb, aren't you? You're actually another weird talking animal, just like the ermine, and you know exactly what brought us here and how to go back! Don't you?!"

The dog tilted his head aside, with a truly curious expression, and barked, "Woof woof wark wark?"

"... Chisame, everybody knows doggies can't talk..." Negi said.

On that very second, she was on him, angrily pulling on his cheeks. "Don't start being Mr. Arbitrary Scientific Rationality on me now either, you **brat**!"

"Chisame-san, let Negi-sensei go immediately, or else!" Ayaka protested.

Asuna sighed and looked at Chamo, who had made the road while comfortably perched on Matoi's head. "Either way, are you sure you can't talk with him, weasel?"

"Why should I be able to?" Chamomile asked back. "Just because I'm an animal, it doesn't mean I'm created equal to all animals out there! I can't talk Dog any more than you could talk Russian!"

Asuna's jaded glare shifted over to the green haired gynoid. "Chachamaru-chan? You're the animal lover here…"

"Cat lover, Kagurazaka-san," Chachamaru gently corrected. "I have no idea where you got the impression I was fonder to dogs than I am to any other particular lifeform. I won't be disrespectful to them, but they don't hold my special attention either." Pause. "Although this one is reasonably cuter than the average canine."

"Really? I think it's very ugly. Looks like something out of a bad old cartoon," Evangeline sneered.

"We're just lucky Murasame-san didn't come along today," Rito mused aloud.

"I would attempt to communicate with him, were he a horse," Saber blandly said, "but while my uncle and tutor owned several dogs who were friends with me, otherwise I have never been close to canines."

"Now, now, everyone!" Negi tried to impose order. "First things first, I think we should try to knock on some door or another and ask for information about this town before-"

"Excuse me," a voice said from the other end of that narrow, quietly foreboding street, "but, I overheard you talking, and... are you mages? Were you sent by the King, perhaps?"

Saber raised an eyebrow at that.

"… Dad?" Lala dubiously asked after an instant.

"... Oh, dear! Good evening, Ma'am!" Negi gasped, surprised, and Chisame tensed up in confusion. "Sorry to disturb you, we are- Wait, the King? Which King? Perhaps you mean… the Emperor of Japan? Or, or maybe…"

The girl standing across the street and holding a long black staff in a hand blinked, now just as confused as Chisame. "Emperor? Do you mean you don't come from Timeless Kingdom? Oh, well, that's just logical, coming from a traveling mage party, isn't it..." Then she gave the scarcely clad Evangeline a better, longer look and asked, "Oh God, what have you been doing to this girl!?"

The petite vampire smirked smugly. "Nothing yet, much to my disappointment. Why? Do you want to try me first, woman? I'm not entirely adverse to the idea…"

The local, who was wearing a pink bow on her braided light brown hair, as well as a pale pink dress and starkly contrasting thick and sturdy brown boots, paused for several moments. "I think we should discuss this somewhere else," she decided.

* * *

Chisame had been extremely wary every step of the way, but Negi, Ala Alba, and the stray mutt still had followed that strange young woman all the way a few blocks away, and into a old, run-down, apparently abandoned hotel where they had been less than enthusiastically greeted by a tall man apparently in his forties, who had been just as surprised to see them as they had been.

The man was even taller than Itoshiki, and sported a strong, rugged and manly build that had Asuna contemplating him in silence, with a slight blush on her cheeks. He wore a sleeveless vest over a dark shirt, black pants, military boots, and goggles that rested on his unkempt dirty blond hair. He had been smoking one cigarette after another in a hostile, wary silence while Negi explained himself and went over the recent events as best as possible, which was not that much actually.

"- so, obviously," Negi deduced now, rubbing his chin in deep contemplation, "you are alternate world denizens, much like those from Magus Erebus' world. I never dreamed we'd run into more like you so soon after that..."

The two locals sitting across the table blinked, sharing several confused glances, before the big man, whom the girl had introduced to them as one 'Cid', focused her attention on Negi's face again. "You look and sound a lot like a librarian egghead, boy. What did you say was your name?"

"Negi Springfield, sir," he politely bowed to him again.

"And he is a legitimate genius teacher taught by the best academy of Wales!" Ayaka remarked proudly. "So you'd better not underestimate him, Mister!"

Cid scoffed, taking a long puff from the cigarette in his mouth. "For a supposed smartypants academic, you sure talk a lot of nonsense! What's with this whole 'Magus Erebus' business, brat? And where's this 'Wales' you speak of, anyway?"

"Cid, please. So, what you are saying," the girl who had introduced herself as Aerith said, "is that there are many other worlds, or dimensions, and you come from one of those, and there might be others like us there. Right?"

"That's correct," Haruna nodded. "Like it happens all the time in videogames and TV shows…"

"Although I imagine your counterparts would be living on Mundus Magicus rather than Earth," Evangeline contemplated, crossing her legs lazily over the table, toes wiggling in a way that made Cid, Rito, Shirou, Itoshiki and Keiichi really uncomfortable. "I can't imagine either of you living as office workers in, I don't know, New York or London…"

"No, seriously, what the hell are you rambling about? Mind making it a bit more straightforward, you cuckoos?" Cid growled.

"Yeah, well, good luck with that," Chisame commiserated. "I've been struggling with them over that for many months now."

"Well, from what I can understand, it matches with what's happened to us lately," Aerith said, a bit nervously. "We obviously aren't at home anymore, and what happened before we arrived here definitely wasn't anything normal at all."

"Even for people like us!" Cid huffed, tossing a discarded cigarette aside and picking another up. Then he saw Chamo sitting on the table and gesturing for a puff with a paw, and handed him a cigarette of his own, without a single word.

"So what happened?" Chisame asked, already fearing the answer.

"All around Midgar City, our place of origin, huge walls of white light began appearing, advancing and swallowing everything at their wake," Aerith narrated, with a noticeable pang of melancholy in her voice. "Anything and anyone they touched just... disappeared! We tried to flee them, but while doing so, we got separated from our friends and companions, and we were attacked by Shadow Demons. And somehow, the darkness the demons projected enveloped us, and... we ended up here when it cleared up."

"Midgar City?" Makie asked. "Where's that? Germany?"

"No place with such name exists in 'our' Earth," Skuld mumbled under her breath. "If my guess is correct, these people hail from Dimensional Plane PS1-VII."

"Shadow Demons?" Ai inquired.

"The same ones Skuld-sama called 'Heartless', obviously, Kaga-san," Itoshiki told her.

"Ah! I'm sorry for asking a dumb question like that! I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" Ai apologized.

"From what we've gathered," Aerith gently explained, "this place is called Traverse Town, and it's some sort of site between... 'realms' where those who have lost their... 'realms' fall into. Everyone kept calling them 'realms', but now you're here, I suppose 'dimensions' or 'worlds' might apply too."

"You mean there are others in this ghost town!" Negi almost sprang from his seat.

"Well, yeah, but not that many," Cid replied. "And that's a good thing, apparently. Well, bad for us, I guess, but we've been able to get by over the last few weeks. We're natural born survivors, and when the going gets really rough, that also means we can be natural born scavengers."

"I can tell!" Yuuna nodded, looking at the plate of canned beans she had been served, while Ayaka grimaced awkwardly at her own. Saber looked again at hers, which now was completely empty and had been that way for several minutes now, and sighed sadly.

"We've established a territory all our own, just like in a No Man's Land, and not to boast, but I'm sure the rest of our team would be damn proud of us!" Cid sighed, shaking his head to himself. "Of course, I guess you can stay as well, as long as you prove yourselves useful. We could use you runts to replenish our ranks, assuming we can make real soldiers outta you..."

"Soldiers?" Negi repeated, dubiously.

Evangeline hissed, folding her arms. "Evangeline A.K. Mc Dowell doesn't need proving herself to the likes of you, fool! Now my power reigns supreme again, I don't even need to-!"

"Uhhhh... thanks, that's very kind from you, Cid-san, and we mean it," Chisame scowled, "but I think we'd better try looking for a way back. What happened to your city sucks, for real, but I'm pretty sure the same thing didn't happen to ours, so..."

"If, if anything has happened to our friends," a very nervous Negi looked down at his cellphone, "I don't know how I could live with that! If, if, if only there was some way to contact them!"

"Mikan!" Rito had suddenly gone very pale, taking a hand to his throat and choking into the word as Haruna reached over to give him a comforting squeeze on a shoulder.

"I'm sure she's okay, Rito-chan," she said, much more softly than what was her custom. "Just like Nodoka and Yuecchi, and everybody else…"

"Riiiight, sorry I mentioned that," Chisame said while Misora and Ayaka fanned on a hyperventilating and softly sobbing Negi. "Try to keep a positive mind, Sensei, Sempai! And yeah, I know about the irony of me of all people saying that!" she snapped, making Misa, Sakurako and Haruna to quickly close their mouths from what they were about to say. "Either way, Aerith-san, you mentioned something about some King, didn't you?"

Aerith nodded, while inwardly wondering what this whole '-san' verbal tic was about. Likely, it was better not asking. "Some newcomers who dropped from the sky days ago mentioned working for the King of the Timeless country, whom they are looking for. They haven't gone away yet, so I supposed they had sent for others to look for them..."

"What do you mean?" Chisame asked.

"The airship they arrived in broke down, and the rumor is they are still trying to fix it," Cid informed. "I'm kinda curious to check it out myself, so we can take you there tomorrow, if you want, but not right now. The nights are dangerous for brats like you. Sometimes, shadow demons come around, looking for those they missed..."

"But she was prowling around at midnight, all alone!" Chisame protested, pointing at Aerith.

"It can't be helped," Aerith said. "Someone's got to do night rounds to make sure the area's safe."

Chisame hid her face between her hands and sizzled her frustration.

"Is this dog yours, by the way?" Aerith asked, crouching down to pet the animal's head. The dog immediately began waving his long, thin black tail and licking her face. "Ah ha ha ha ha, it tickles!"

"He isn't ours, but he followed us since he found us, a few hours ago," Negi said. "He's very friendly, isn't he?"

"Nope, he's Pluto," Makie shook her head, taking a pointing finger at the dog's collar. "At least, that's what it says here!"

"Pluto? What a stupid name for a dog," Chisame muttered bitterly. "And yet... it sounds familiar, somehow?"

She thought in silence for the next few moments, unaware everyone, even the dog, began gradually looking at her under the light of the old lanterns hanging from the walls, in the otherwise grimly dark room.

"... nah, must've been my imagination," Chisame finally shook her head. "This is all a dream anyway, isn't it? Soon I'll wake up and everything will be normal again, with no dimensional displacements, talking ermines, boy mages, resurrected historical and mythical figures, or Tsunetsuki..."

"Tsunetsuki?" Cid-san repeated.

"That's me," said the plain looking girl with short black hair who had just showed up right behind Chisame.

"Ah!" Aerith gasped. "You were here?!"

"Yes, always," Matoi nodded.

"See? These kind of people is what I have to deal with every day," Chisame said.

"Oh, poor, poor girl," Aerith placed a hand over her own mouth.

"Bah, she knows she loves it," Evangeline waved a hand.

"BUT I DON'T!" Chisame protested.

"Resurrected what, did you say?" Cid asked her.

* * *

"Is this a thing that also happens to you every night?" Aerith asked as she sat next to Chisame on the back of Cid's truck, the mumbling man at the wheel with a sheepish looking Keiichi at his side. The rest of Ala Alba and Pluto sat very tightly crowded around a very tired Negi, who napped resting against Chisame's left side, large bags under his eyes. Cocone seemed especially contented, sitting on the lap of a distracted, oddly thoughtful Misora. "I mean, that he keeps sleepwalking into your bed, and then everybody else keeps pulling them towards their own beds, and then a fight breaks out, and then…?"

"No, normally, he only rooms with Chisame and me, and we both are okay if he decides to sleep with the other one," Satomi said.

"Grrr," Chisame said.

"He greatly prefers to sleep with Chisame, however," Satomi added.

"GRRR!"

"… okay," Aerith said.

Now Cid chuckled, as the vehicle made it past Traverse Town's borders and down into a zig-zagging muddy path leading into the back woods. "Mind, Aerith isn't exactly a stranger to that kind of shanenigans. There was this Cloud boy, who was in a big love mess with her and a girl named Tifa and—"

"Cid!" Aerith snapped.

"People are the same everywhere," Evangeline observed, sitting indolently on Chachamaru's lap as she gazed at the woodlands with a difficult to read expression. "How long until we get there, old man? You aren't trying to lead us into some trap, are you?"

"Old? Damn, kid, show some respect already!" Cid said. "And if we wanted to set a trap for you, we had plenty of chances last night, while you were busy being all pervy around the poor boy!"

"Effortlessly seductive, you mean," Evangeline corrected, smiling and raising a pointer finger.

"Yeah, it doesn't take too much of an effort to slide under the covers with somebody else, I imagine…" Skuld muttered.

"Of course you have to imagine it, since I'm certain you've never done it despite being far older than me," Evangeline taunted. "Poor girl, I'm sure that's what you'd need to stop being such a—"

"Will you please stop giving a bad impression of Mahora before these decent, unluckynate people who have offered this great help to us?!" Haruka screeched. "They'll think our school is poblated by nothing but weirdos and deviants!"

"You know my opinion on the subject, so I won't voice it again," Chisame said, while Negi stirred sleepily against her.

"And, does she always slip fully naked into his bed, too?" Aerith felt like she had to ask, despite her best reservations, pointing at the impishly grinning Lala and then the mortified looking orange-haired boy sitting by her side.

"There's nothing wrong with that, we're engaged in marriage!" Lala chirped, while Rito blushed and mumbled looking aside, but not directly denying the statement. Aerith glanced at the girl she'd been led to believe was the boy's girlfriend, and was sort of answered when Haruna winked an eye and gave her a thumbs up.

"That's okay, I'm engaged to her too!" Saotome explained.

Aerith looked even more troubled then before hugging her folded legs against her body. "… all right, then," she said in a very small voice.

"Maybe you should suggest that to that boy and that girl when you meet them again, in my experience, it works more often than you'd exp—" Haruna helpfully began.

"I'm not judging you, so please don't judge me," Aerith said, further pulling herself away from her until there was absolutely no more room to further back into.

"It's here," Cid said as he stopped the truck before a large, wide clearing in the woods, one apparently formed by a massive crash from above, as they still could see broken, ravaged remains of trees everywhere, scattered all around a bright red and yellow airship of sturdy, blocky appearance, the size of a small airplane. Strange, grunting, gruff noise could be heard from its inside, even from that distance. "Townsfolk saw it falling from the sky a few nights ago, and then creatures who looked like a giant dog and a duck were seen nosing around Traverse Town, asking for a King from the Timeless country, but Aerith would know more about that. She actually spoke to them…"

Before Aerith could expand on the subject, however, Pluto began baring his teeth and growling, the fur on his back crawling, and leaning ahead so hard Makie had to hold him from behind. "Whoa, easy there, Pluto-kun! What gives?!"

"Sensei, wake up," Chachamaru reached over to gently shake on Negi's right shoulder, her other hand's wrist blade popping out while her eyes glowed emerald. "I detect more Heartless creatures inside of that ship…"

"WHAT?!" Rito, Shirou, Misora, Haruka, Chamo, Asuna, Yuuna, Keiichi and Makie all cried.

"Oh, poop," Cocone deadpanned, already pulling out a handful of throwing crosses.

"A warrior's path is a relentless one until the final rest," Saber philosophized, quickly drawing her invisible blade out.

" _Adeat,"_ Setsuna said, not wasting any time on summoning her Pactio outfit and then standing up to shield Konoka with her body, Yuunagi at the ready. "Stay behind me at all times, Ojou-sama. We'll take care of this for you."

Aerith gasped in mild awe, and it was mild only because she had seen a lot before, as the other Ministra also called on their Pactios and Negi propped himself up while Chachamaru quickly updated him on the current situation. The local girl prepared her staff as well, rising to her feet and looking intently at the ship. "Beware. Looks like something's coming out as we speak."

"Let them come," Evangeline chuckled, starting to float up. "Soon they will learn the folly of standing on my path!"

"HEY!" a loud, gruff, unmistakably male voice came from the ship, as its cabin's door was kicked open from the inside. "Who's snooping around this time?! I told you guys to keep a perimet—petrimer—a watched area around this—Oh, sheesh!" a big, fat, black furred head clenched its sharp-looking teeth as it peeked out from the crashed vehicle.

The dog began barking in earnest then, slipping free from Makie's grasp and jumping down the truck, standing his ground against the crassly laughing obese figure that was squeezing itself out the door, which seemed to be a tad too tight for it. "Well, well, but if it's the King's precious pup!" the massive beast man who resembled a cross between a black bear and a gigantic cat stepped fully out, pushing his thick fists against his voluminous hips. "You were looking for your friends, weren'tcha? Bad news, mutt! They can't help you anymore—nor anyone else! Not even themselves! Haw haw haw!"

"Chisame!" Makie gasped in horror. "He's… He's a not a dog lover, either!"

"I think him being a giant cat thing is more impressive than that, Sasaki!" Chisame yelled at her.

The weird creature, who stood even taller than Cid, wore an elaborated suit of armor, with robust shoulder pads and boots that reached up to his knees. He already was unsheathing a long black sword from his clunky looking metallic belt. "And what did the doggy bring me, hmmm? A bunch of nosy kids, how cute! Who are you, brats? And whaddya want with The Mighty Pete, Commander of the Heartless?!"

"Wait!" Misa gulped. "Did I hear the cat-thing right? Is he of all people responsible over… what happened to us?"

"You would have expected for someone far more impressing, wouldn't you, Kakizaki?" the floating Evangeline sneered. "For once I can't blame you. No, whoever this loser is, he can't be anything but a low-tier middleman…"

"What did you just say?!" Mighty Pete bellowed, his fur standing up in rage. "Cheeky weird brat! I'll teach you some manners!"

"Chachamaru, you're the cat lover!" Misora told the gynoid. "Go there and pet him to oblivion, or something!"

"I'm not sure I can consider this foul smelling creature to be a cat, actually…" Chachamaru said.

"Foul?" Pete blinked, then quickly sniffed himself under an arm. "Well, maybe, but give me a break, we've been working for hours inside of that tin can! Heartless!" he commanded. "Rush over these kids and spank 'em hard!"

On command, several dozens of Heartless began crawling out of the same relatively small ship, like nightmare clowns oozing out of their car. In seconds, they were out, but just as soon as they seemed to have stopped, a final, much taller and fatter Heartless came out as well, with burning blueish eyes and a striking color design based on black with red and blue stripes, giving it a vague circus-like appearance. This Heartless moved to the forefront and right next to Pete, as the smaller ones gave it way with an attitude that almost seemed to convey fear, respect, or a mixture of both.

"Uwaaaa!" Misora cried, cowering behind Negi.

"Saber, look out!" Shirou growled, pulling out a long wooden stick, reinforcing it, and rushing to stand before his Servant, trying to shield her with his body before the blonde simply sighed, grabbed him by the back of his shirt, and pulled him back behind herself. "Hey! You can't blame me for trying!" he protested. "I'm not useless, really!"

"Master?" the boy teacher warily asked Evangeline. "Should I take this as a test, or—"

"Don't worry, I'll handle it this once, just because I want to show off a little," Eva chuckled, arms folded. "What if I do it with no hands? Yeah, I think I'll do just that. You just sit back and enjoy the show, Boya."

"You've never seen a Heartless before, have you, girlie?" Pete smiled widely, eyes narrowing. " Before long you'll be crying for mommy, once you've seen what they can do! Well, what are you waiting for, fools? Charge 'em!"

With loud, garbling sounds, the Heartless obeyed readily, the biggest one aiming his eyes at Evangeline and shooting twin beams of dark blue light at her, startling everyone but the vampire herself, who just easily flew aside before thrusting herself with a kick into the Heartless' head, sending it crashing down against the smaller ones. Just as quickly, she landed before it and kicked it up like ball, keeping her arms always folded before headbutting him directly towards Pete.

"What the—OOOPHHHH!" the burly, slow cat-person could not sidestep in time, and the Heartless' bulk pressed him against the ship's side. However, just as soon, he single-handledy pushed it off himself, sending it stumbling back towards Evangeline. "You idiot, don't let a little girl to treat you like that! You'd better do it right this time!"

The lead Heartless made another short sound and slashed around with its long clawed arms, trying to strike Evangeline, but she only laughed evilly and ducked under the claws, projecting herself ahead and actually kicking into the Heartless' body, her left bare foot crashing through the creature's belly. Negi cringed as he watched this, shooting _Sagitta Magicas_ at the smaller Heartless, and overall doing as good a job at it as he'd done the night before; the same could be said about the rest of Ala Alba, although they were faring slightly better now they also had Aerith and her staff swings with them; despite her petite size and build, she was proving to be surprisingly strong and fast at batting the dark beings aside.

"So," Evangeline's eyes became golden and black, while Pete gasped in shock and she easily picked up the giant Heartless with a single hand, lifting it over her head, "is that fear I see in your eyes now, big guy? After all that big talk, is the Commander of the Heartless just as scaredy kitty? How pathetic! Even Kasuga has more guts than you do in that gigantic belly!"

"Hey!" Misora cried from where she and Cocone were keeping a single Heartless at bay.

"Now, now," the bloated cat-thing began to say, carefully stepping back one step or two or three, sword coming slowly higher, "let's keep in mind I never told anyone to kill you, Even Evil Has Standards, I wouldn't hurt a child, have I mentioned I have two children of my own…?"

"Two orphans, you mean!" Evangeline cackled demonically, holding the twitching Heartless close to her face. "Just watch what I'll do to your underling and despair, for you'll be—"

Then, suddenly, she paused after catching a casual glimpse into the Heartless' eyes. Her mouth hung slightly loose, fangs glinting under the morning sunlight, and her expression became distant and absorbed, as a subtle voice seemed to lull a sweet, enchanting, but also terribly dark song into her mind. It was a somewhat familiar voice, from long ago, even though she couldn't tell from when or where; a voice that called out to her, and made her feel, for the first time in forever, comfortable and strangely warm.

That lasted only a few seconds, but to her, it felt like hours; and when it was over, she chuckled grisly, elongated her fangs even further, and sank them without a warning into what approached the Heartless' neck, avidly suckling its darkness into herself, her eyes switching from golden and black to crimson. At that point, Ala Alba and Aerith had already wiped the other Heartless out, but just barely, and most of them didn't even realize what she had done until she dropped what little remained of the Heartless below her, still cackling softly.

Negi had seen it all, however, and he only could gape and stare up at her, his face pale. "M-Master! What have you done…?"

She looked back at him, over her shoulder. "I have done what I wanted to do, just like always, Boya. Why so surprised? You already should know this is my nature."

She landed on her feet softly and walked towards Pete, who held his sword ahead menacingly, or at least as menacing as you can be while quaking in fear.

"D-Don't get any closer, you… you witch!" he warned. "I'm a really bad guy! The roughest, toughest thug you've ever met! You can't scare me, I'm more than a Heartless, I'm Pete…!"

"You're nothing!" she snarled, reaching over to grab his blade and yank it off his hand, ignoring the deep cut on her palm as she tossed the sword back, behind her. Sakurako yelped as the sword fell in the grass; tip first, right before her feet and barely missing her toes. "Know your place, you filthy vermin!"

"Saku-chan!" Madoka gasped, rushing ahead with Misa to pull their friend and comrade in cheerleading towards themselves.

"Evangeline-san!" Hakase cried. "You could have hurt Sakurako-chan!"

"Oh, so I missed?" Evangeline growled, grabbing Pete by the belt and flipping him over casually, tossing him in an arc until his body hit the grass right before the appalled Negi. "It doesn't matter anyway. Now I've gained my freedom back, I don't need Boya anymore, much less to keep bothering training him! Chachamaru! We're leaving!"

The robot girl blinked. "… leaving? But, Master, where…?"

"Wherever I want to, Chachamaru!" Evangeline laughed, tossing her arms up. "This pointless squabble has made me realize I don't have to keep wasting my time with small fry! From now on, I'll just chase my own way, like I always wanted to! So, are you coming with me, or not?"

"Master, this is too sudden, and you gave your word to Negi-sensei you would—"

"My word is as good as I want it to be! I have little patience for indecisive people!"

"But I need more time to calculate these variants, and—"

"Oh, forget it," Evangeline scowled in disgust. "Do whatever the hell you want. The same goes for the rest of you, as long as you don't pester me again!" And without any further words, she took off and way up into the air, quickly becoming a twinkle in the sky.

"Master!" Chachamaru said, giving Satomi, who was just as shocked as her, a brief back glance before telling her, "Mother, I… I will only go see what has happened to her. I promise I will come back as soon as we have figured it out… But there's no time to waste!" she finished, rocket feet flaring up as she zoomed up after Eva's aerial trail, starting to track her from the disruptions of the air flow at her wake.

Before Satomi could even call out for her with her abruptly dry throat, Chachamaru was gone as well. "Cha… Cha… Chachamaru-chan!"

"Oh, geez!" Misora said. "Now what's gotten into Eva? Did y'all see that?"

"Well, duh, of course we did!" Asuna said. "It was that thing's fault! She started acting that much worse than usual since she bit it dry!"

Negi sizzled in newfound anger, grabbed the dizzy Pete by the collar, and lifted his upper half so he could see into his eyes. "What did your monster do to Evangeline-san?!"

"Evangeline… san…?" the groggy Pete groaned.

Negi began rattling the much bigger beastman around. Chisame was truly impressed how strong he had become lately, and in such a short time. "My student! The girl you taunted, you ruffian! I swear, if anything happens to her, you'll pay…!"

"Negi-sensei, please, hold yourself back!" Hasegawa Sora pleaded, stepping closer. "We just can't lose you as well!"

"She is right, Professor," Saber calmly said. "Hold your fury, righteous or not, back before it becomes your lord and master."

Negi seethed, then breathed deeply, in and out. "You're right, Sora-san, Saber-san. I'm sorry; I don't know what came into me. But, we've lost sight of most of our friends, and to have this happen to Evangeline-san as well…"

"Forget Evangeline-san!" Hakase cried. "What about my Chachamaru?!"

"Speak, evildoer," Setsuna approached them as well, leveling Yuunagi towards Pete's face. "How did you do this to our only mildly evil mentor?"

"I, I don't know, it never happened before!" Pete raised his hands in thick armored gauntlets. "I make a point of not letting my Heartless to get eaten by anyone! That's bad for my reputation, you know!"

"Who sent you?" Setsuna pressed on. "And you'd better not lie, or else…!"

"I, I, I am an elite force of an organization out to conquer the worlds," Pete stammered, "an unstoppable force known as… Cosmo Entelecheia!"

Silence fell over the surroundings.

"… what's Cosmo Entelecheia?" Makie, Aerith and Cid finally asked, all three at once.

"What, you don't remember?!" Yuuna spun around to face Makie. "That pale girl who fought Negi-kun in Kyoto, she said she had been sent by Cosmo Entelecheia!"

"Oh, yeah, that girl," Makie said. "Well, why wouldn't I forget that name, then? It's very difficult and it's written in Polish!"

"Latin," Negi muttered before rattling Pete some more. "So you take your orders from Sextum Averruncus?"

"The Mighty Pete takes no orders from anyone, just suggestions occasionally enforced through threats of body harm that, of course, I know are only hollow, because no one can—"

"We can and we will, if you don't just go straight to the point," Setsuna plainly stated.

Pete nodded quickly.

Negi sighed and dropped Pete, who fell on his face with a faint 'Ouch!'

"Even here, they won't stop endangering us…" the boy teacher sadly pondered. "And what's worse, once again, I've endangered you through my—"

"Sensei," Ai shyly said, "forgive me for saying this, but I feel threatened in my complex whenever you step into the character shtick that is rightfully mine."

"Oh. Sorry, Kaga-san," the boy nodded. "Well, whether this is my fault or not, I still couldn't stop it, so…"

"But this makes no sense," Chisame said, "since when can that girl and her accomplices travel between dimensions and all that crap? And how?"

Pluto then tensed, his tail stiffening, and ran towards the ship, sniffing around it and finally pointing his snout inside.

"What's wrong, Pluto-kun?" Makie asked, skipping after him before Yuuna could stop her. She took a look in, and then cooed, "Ooo! Isn't this the cutest thing ever…?"

"Wh-What do you mean, Makie-san?" Negi made his way over to her as Itoshiki handed Setsuna several feet of the rope he always kept in his hakama so he could hang himself, which the swordgirl put to better use by tying the miserably sobbing Pete's arms and legs. Negi looked into the aircraft as well, and gasped. "Oh feathers…"

"Feathers?" repeated the tiny creature that was kept hogtied and hanging from the piloting cabin's ceiling. It was a very small mouse-woman, or feminine vaguely anthropomorphic mouse; with long strawberry blond hair, and large blue eyes. Her slim bipedal body was covered by a light purple mechanics coverall, with a darker belt, matching the color of the flight goggles she kept secured around her head. "What a strange thing to say, since there are no birds anywhere in here. Although it's difficult to say for sure, since this angle doesn't allow me a full view of my surroundings. Could any of you please untie me? My name's Gadget Hackwrench, and I am a Gummi Ship pilot for King Mickey's Aerial Forces…"

* * *

 **To be Continued**.


	5. Gummi Ship

Negima? Created and owned by Akamatsu Ken and Kodansha.

Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon? Created and owned by Takeuchi Naoko and Shueisha.

Chip 'n Dale Rescue Rangers? Created and owned by The Walt Disney Company.

Card Captor Sakura? Created and owned by CLAMP and Kodansha.

Mai HiME? Created and owned by Sunrise.

Any similarity between the characters and events mentioned in this fanfiction and anything or anyone from real life? Bro, please!

We make any money from this, you ask? BWA HA HA HA HA.

* * *

 **The Keys of the Kingdom HD 2.8 Final Chapter Prologue Turbo Hyper Champion Edition Gold**.

 **By OverMaster and Shadow Crystal Mage**.

* * *

 **Chapter Three**.

* * *

"I don't intend to offend," Chisame said, not too sure she wasn't lying herself, "but what kind of name is 'Gadget'?"

"My father was a bonafide, hardcore devotee of all things machinery," the tiny mouse-woman said, very solemnly, "but I won't hold that against his beloved memory." Then, brightening up all of a sudden, "My turn now! What is the meaning of the name 'Chisame'?"

"… it's not intended to mean anything, it's just 'Chisame'," Chisame said.

"And what a musically gorgeous name it is!" Matoi sighed.

"Haw! A meaningless name! Who's got a bad name now?" asked Pete, as Setsuna and Cid pushed his tied up form up onto the back of the truck.

Chisame stared daggers back at him, from where she and Ala Alba sat next to the downed ship, before its former pilot. "Your name only stands for 'Peter', how is that any better?"

"You don't know the first thing about Christianity, do you, Chisame?" an unamused Misora asked.

"Anyway," Gadget continued, "little over one week ago, King Mickey, our country's wise leader, disappeared leaving only a letter behind…"

"You mean 'King Michael', right?" Chisame asked.

Gadget gave her a strange look. "Michael?"

"Chisame-san, please stop questioning the names of everyone around us. It leaves a bad impression on people," Ayaka chastised. "Next you'll be asking why Saber-san is named after a sword."

"Well, yeah, like I was saying," Gadget continued, "King Mickey left us, leaving this note behind…"

She straightened up, assuming a very serious posture. She closed her eyes, opened her mouth, raised her pointer finger, and recited from memory, feigning an even higher pitched, yet somewhat manlier voice,

 _Dear Donald,_

 _Sorry to rush off without sayin' goodbye, but there's big trouble brewin'. Not sure why, but the stars have been blinkin' out, one by one. And that means disaster can't be far behind. I hate to leave you all but I've gotta go check into it._

 _'There's someone who might be the key to our survival. Master Yen Sid called him the 'Thousand Master', the man of a thousand spells. Got it? We need that person or we might as well be doomed! Not that you should be alarmed or anything, of course._

 _P.S.: Would ya apologize to Minnie for me? Thanks, pal._

"Wow," Makie said, "you're good."

"Thanks, I get that a lot," Gadget nodded.

"Th-Th-Thou-The Thousand Master?!" Negi gasped aloud.

Gadget looked at him. "You know that name? That might prove to be helpful."

"The Thousand Master is Negi-kun's father!" Misa said, almost as startled.

"I think he was some sort of really big shot powerful mage, but don't ask me, I'm new at this," Madoka shrugged.

"Ohhhh, so you're his son…" Gadget said, in quite a quirky spaced out tone for a genius, looking up and down at Negi as if measuring him up. "But, surely he's rather taller and bulkier, isn't he?"

"Do you happen to know where he is?!" Negi rushed towards her, towering over the much smaller figure, heart beating up as fast as it would. "I've been looking for him for years! I need to know of his whereabouts!"

"… if the King had known, he would've just contacted him instead of going on a search, don't you think?" Gadget said calmly.

"AAAAARRRGHHHH!" Negi began tugging at his hair. "Foiled again! Why must the universe make my search so needlessly difficult?"

"I can't believe Negi-kun's father could have been in this sort of weird place," Yuuna said. "What kind of man he was, anyway?"

"A very mobile one, let me tell you," Itoshiki explained with a sad sigh.

"The plot thickens!" Haruna piped in dramatically.

"It sure seems that way, doesn't it?" Gadget nodded.

"Oh yeah," Haruna nodded back. ""By the way, calling that Donald guy 'dear', addressing the letter directly to him instead of his royal consort, talking with a voice like that... not that I'm saying there's anything wrong with that, but that king of yours might have some sugar in his pocket, don't you think?"

Haruka, Ayaka, Chamo, Asuna, Setsuna, Yuuna and Chisame all facepalmed HARD.

"... I never had thought about it that way before, and I'm not sure I want to start to now," Gadget admitted. "So Queen Minnie sent Sir Goofy, Captain of the Royal Guard; Sir Donald, Head Royal Mage; Sir Jiminy Cricket, Royal Chronicler, National Conscience and Bard; and me, to look for the King. We managed to track his Gummi Ship's displacement trail to this world, where we were ambushed and captured by this traitor to the crown…" Gadget kept on narrating.

"Goofy? That's just a cruel nickname you gave him, isn't it?" asked Chisame.

"Chisame-san, what have I just told you about mocking foreign names?" Ayaka chided her. "You wouldn't want to be accused of being a namist, do you?"

"Namist? That's a thing now?" Makie said. "Wow, being PC is hard..."

"This traitor to the crown thinks you're being too open around this traitor to the crown, mouse," Pete bluntly stated from where he sat, twitching his nose since he couldn't scratch it.

"Well," Gadget said, "if you didn't know all of this already, you wouldn't have been here in the first place to ambush us, am I right? Now, what did you do with the rest of my crew?"

"I'll never tell! What are you going to do about that, goody-goody pipsqueak, huh?" he boasted.

Setsuna quietly placed the edge of Yuunagi against his throat.

"I sent them over, properly chained and gagged, to our current base of operations, which I won't tell you about, but please take that thing away already! I told you guys, I have children and a wife!" he quickly whimpered. "Why are little girls so violent these days? Society's really gone down. In my days, little girls were easy little hostages, not like the little rotten girls you get these days, with their vampire novels and their pony shows... "

Gadget blinked. "Oh! Well, I can understand gagging Sir Donald, as his chatter can be very frustrating, but that's still not a very nice thing to do…"

"What's this fellow's story, either way?" Chamo asked.

"Chamo-kun!" Makie gasped. "I thought you couldn't speak to other animals!"

"Maki-chan, please…" Yuuna groaned.

"Captain Pete here," Gadget explained, "used to be Queen Minnie's Captain of the Queen's Guard, but darkness grew in his heart, and he plotted to kidnap her, replace her with an impostor, and take advantage of it to seize the throne. The Queen was understandably angry at him, so she exiled him into another dimension, and that was the last we had seen of him. But of course, that was several years ago…"

"Isn't that the most tragic story you've ever heard?!" Pete began sobbing loudly. "As you can see, I'm a poor victim of a tyrannical reign!"

"Sounds like you were a backstabbing kidnapper out to impose your own tyrannical reign," Keiichi opined.

"What, Shorty, don't you believe on equality opportunity of tyranny for everyone?" the large cat growled.

Haruna nodded sympathetically. "Preach it, brother!"

"I'm sorry," Saber said, "but no matter how much I try, I cannot be sympathetic towards throne usurpers and rabble rousers."

"Me neither," Lala said. "The meek should learn how to be happy under the protective heel of the mighty."

Konoka frowned at that. "How fascist of you, Lala-sempai! I'm disappointed!"

"Okay, so Lardball over there captured your friends, you still don't have the slightest idea where your King is, and all you've got left is a crashed ship," Chisame summed up. "What do you plan doing from here on?"

"Gee, great way to lift the girl's spirits up, Chi-chan," Yuuna said.

"It's better if she grows used to the futility of life while she's still young," Itoshiki advised.

For better or worse, however, Gadget's spirits seemed almost as unsinkable as Kafuka-san's. "I guess I'll repair the Gummi ship, then leave you to scout this realm for the King while I try in another nearby realm," she mused aloud, rubbing her small chin. "As soon as I find him, I'd better take live samples from him to invent a King Mickey Universal Tracker Unit. That should be feasible…"

"Eeeeeehhhhh, wait there, galpal!" Misora said. "Whatever gave you the idea we'd be looking for that King of yours, when we still gotta find a way back to our world?!"

"And my father!" Negi cried.

"And my sister!" Rito pointed out.

"And Chachamaru!" Satomi added.

Gadget blinked. "I don't know what a Chachamaru is, but finding the King would be your best chance to achieve your other goals. The King knows more than anyone else about travel between realms, and it would seem he knows far more about this Thousand Master fellow than I do, as well."

"You may have a point there, but still…" Asuna said doubtfully.

"What about this Yen Sid person you mentioned?" Negi urged Gadget. "You said he told your King about my father! Where is he?"

"Yen Sid is a wise mage who taught the King during his youth, although magic is too much of a nebulous and frankly overrated craft of dubious origins if you ask me," the tiny gadgeteer said, "but he's a hermit, and only the King himself knows where he resides. I'm afraid I can't help you find him, Professor."

Negi made a cascade of anguished sounds before pacing back and forth in the background. "Goshdarn it, why are wizards you're looking for so hard to find?-!-?-!"

"Golly," Gadget said, "the Professor is very volatile and angst-ridden for a child, isn't he?"

"No, actually, he's far too optimistic and careless," Itoshiki replied. The girls, with the sole exception of Ai, who only looked at the ground in silence, coughed loudly at that sentence.

"Hey, Mousey," Cid said, already taking his place at the truck's steering wheel, "do you plan on fixing that ship all by yourself? You're too damn small to do it alone!"

Gadget waved a hand. "Don't concern yourself! As long as I find suitable materials to work with, it shouldn't take me longer than a couple months! Now, could you point me the way to the nearest trashfill?"

"Well," Cid took a puff from his cigarette, "I'm damn good with machines, too. I can help you for the mere thrill of taking a good look at that thing."

"I'll help as well!" Skuld raised a hand. "I happen to be an expert at this subject! And all others as well!"

"Me-me-me-me-me!" Lala ecstatically said, waving a hand up and from one side to the other, almost rippling forth in enthusiasm. "I'm a helper!"

Chisame looked aside. "Hakase? By this point, shouldn't you eagerly offering yourself to tinker with that alien thing as well?"

"Chachamaru, Chachamaru, Chachamaru! Return to me immediately!" an oblivious Satomi was shouting to the sky, her back to the team. "Come back to mommy!"

Chisame sighed, forcefully grabbed her roommate by the shoulders, and spun her around, pushing her towards Gadget. "She'll help too. She's the best mechanic I've ever met, and really, she needs something to distract her mind at this time."

"What?" Hakase babbled. "What am I supposed to do while Chachamaru needs me? My little girl is out there all alone!"

"Don't you want to learn the secrets of interplanetary flight from an alien civilization, Satomi-chan?" Sakurako asked her.

"… it's what I've always dreamed," Hakase answered, "But couldn't I do it after we've found Chachamaru? She'll be all by herself in a strange place! That's a bad thing!"

"Don't start with that again!" Chisame told her. "Chachamaru will be back as soon as Evangeline gets over what she drank and comes back to her senses! Odds are they're just chilling back at the resort, and no one's going to get into a fight with Eva and her and walk away! So stop overreacting and get to work so we can get out of here, wherever here is!"

Pete chuckled darkly. "If me an' my Heartless couldn't get that old thing flying again, what chances do you little punks have?"

Chamo looked at Gadget. "Is Fatso supposed to be good with machines?"

"His wife once told us he couldn't even fix their oven without it blowing up on his face," Gadget shrugged.

"Darn that woman!" Pete shouted. "After I tried to steal a whole kingdom for her, is that how she repays me?"

"She never asked for that kingdom, Captain…" the mouse reminded him.

"Well, that's the only thing she never asked for!"

* * *

 _At the same time, back in another realm:_

Ayase Yue, who was humble but never one prone to false modesty, thought she had coped very well with the jarring twists her life had experienced over the latest two months. Turns that included having her best friend and roommate becoming a hunter of magical cards– sorry, captor– having herself engaged to an alien princess- who also was engaged to her second best friend's boyfriend- after grabbing her tail, and learning from said best friends their boy teacher was actually a mage from Wales. At this point, she half-expected to find out she wasn't a real person, but some kind of artificial magical human thingy. Yue, who had already had her share of weirdness in life that would have driven lesser girls insane, had decided to decline Haruna's offer to join said teacher's magical society, and was beginning to regret that refusal now.

Nodoka had been holding her steadily ever since they left the girls' dorm building, once it was clear enough the dark beings suddenly overrunning the place would leave them no exit but forcing Nodoka to use The Jump and leap through an open window with Yue. Since then, and for the last few minutes, they had been bouncing across the campus, heading towards the woods since, Nodoka had said, Evangeline-san would know what to do, and odds were Negi-sensei was with her.

This was probably all Haruna's fault somehow. She didn't know how, but it was most likely her fault.

Yue, whose mind often took intriguing detours while faced with a situation of danger, silently wondered why she was not taking any apparent internal damage with each massive jump Nodoka took. She supposed Nodoka's own magic took care of her body, but what about Yue's? Was it possible her friend's magical enhancement and/or shielding extended to Yue's own anatomy as long as Nodoka was in close contact with her? She would have to ask Kero-san about it later on. Though he probably didn't know. The little plushie seemed woefully ignorant on the technical points regarding his charges.

"Wait!" the tiny flying plush lion shouted as his flight came to a stop just as they were reaching the old playing grounds, near the giant Emperor Penguin slide. "They have us surrounded!"

And it was true. The playground was currently deserted save for the shadow creatures swarming all over it, but there were dozens of those, and worst of it all, several of them were flying, flapping wide batlike wings as they hovered in place over those running across the ground and slinking around the swings and other attractions. Yue could hear the hard dry knot in Nodoka's throat, and she clung tighter to her. _"Nodoka,"_ she whispered. _"There's something I need to tell you. I lov—"_

Nodoka, seemingly ignoring her, descended towards a relatively safe spot and swiftly pulled out another card, hitting it with her wand while the monsters came closer. "Clow Card!" she shouted. "The Windy!"

A moment later, the spirit form of the Card's manifestation towered above the playground, and a strong burst of wind swatted the demons aside in all directions, momentarily clearing the way ahead. "C'mon, Yue!" Nodoka said, riding the staff and forcing Yue behind her, flying ahead in a straight line while Kero struggled to keep up with them.

However, one of the larger creatures, which was almost as tall as Nodoka, hissed and lunged ahead, reaching for her and managing to grab one of Nodoka's ankles. The Card Captor shrieked as the Heartless giggled madly and clawed up further, leaving red slashes across her leg while pulling itself up and Nodoka down…

Before she could fall taking Yue with herself, however, there was a cry of "VENUS LOVE-ME CHAIN!" and a familiar looking glowing chain made of several orange hearts interconnected flew sharply through the air, wrapping itself around the Heartless and tightening, until the foul creature exploded in a shower of black specks from the pressure, releasing Nodoka's leg.

"Girls!" Nodoka gasped in relief, trying to smile and losing altitude as Sailor Venus stepped out from the shadows, twirling her chain around, closely followed by Artemis the cat, the tiny Sailor Mars, and the tall, beautiful Sailor Mercury. The Heartless around the area paused, looking at the newcomers in apprehension and confusion, swarming together in several groups while slowly surround them.

Aino Minako, codenamed first Sailor V and now Sailor Venus, smiled back at Nodoka, winking an eye. "We got your call, Card Captor! Sorry we're late, but it's havoc everywhere, and you kept on moving fast!"

"S-Sorry," Nodoka said, hovering above the ground with Yue and Kero, watching at the Heartless' momentary respite, and wondering what would they do next. "We were on our way to Eva-san's, when—"

"We should head over to the temple instead," Sailor Mars bluntly said, twirling her fingers as she eyed the Heartless angrily. "Oniichan and Mana-Oneesama are there, and it's a sacred ground, demons can't enter— FIRE SOUL!" she yelled, just as soon as the first half a dozen of Heartless decided to spring towards them, claws and teeth first.

The ensuing burst of flames coming from her hands, and taking the shape of a gigantic, grotesque crow, immediately consumed the nearest Heartless, forcing the rest to pull back and then scurry out of sight, between the trees. Munakata Shiho, the Guardian of Mars, seethed furiously, her hands still extended ahead. "Give me a bad day, will you?!" she yelled at the darkness full of glowing, nervous hollow eyes that constantly shifted from one place to another. "I'll show you what's a really bad day like, freaks!"

Nodoka and Yue's classmate, Ookuchi Akira, the Senshi of Mercury, took advantage of the short pause in the altercations to rush to their side, reaching over to place a hand on Nodoka's cheek. "Thank God you're okay. B-Because you're okay, aren't you? Have you seen Makie-chan and Yuuna? Ako's so worried, and they aren't answering our calls..."

"That's part of why we were going over to Eva's place," Yue said. "Ala Alba must still be training there, or leaving the cabin, at most. What do you know about these monsters? Are they related to your enemies?"

"The Dark Kingdom never tried anything on this scale, but then again, things might have changed now we've killed Jadeite off and escalated the hostilities," Akira rubbed her chin thoughtfully. "I, I just hope they aren't getting revenge by killing the people they absorb..."

"Absorb, you say?" Kerberos wondered aloud.

Akira nodded. "We've seen what happens to people when these creatures get them. It was... disturbing, but... at least not bloody, I guess. They... produce something that envelops them, some sort of flowing darkness that swallows them down..."

"But for all we know, that only sends them to another dimension, like what happened with the Phantom Bus," Minako shrugged. "I'm choosing to believe they can be rescued unless otherwise proved!"

Kerberos nodded. "That's probably the best thing to do for now. Okay, Magical Girls Association, now we're all together, we should stick that way. Going to the shrine doesn't sound that bad, but I'm with Nodoka in that we should hit the cabin first. We'll gain superior numbers we're likely to need if we meet up with Negi-sensei before anything else..."

"I see," another voice said. "So Negi Springfield is at the vampire witch's place of residence? That's very valuable information. You have my gratitude."

Nodoka felt a fierce chill running up her spine as he looked back, staring at the playground's fountain. A pale, petite figure in a boyish gray uniform was rising from the water, yet completely dry, her arms folded behind her back. "Sextum-san!" she pronounced the name as if they were burning a hole in her tongue as she spoke.

Shiho lifted an eyebrow. "A friend of yours?"

"She was one of the leaders of the forces we fought at Kyoto," Akira said, grimly stepping between the newly arrived albino and her two classmates. "Are you the leader of this raid, Sextum-san?"

Sextum Averruncus nodded quietly.

"Why, why are you doing it?!" Akira protested. "Even compared to what you did back then, this is... so awful! You even briefly helped Negi-sensei when his life was in danger, and now you're killing innocent students all across the school?! What in the world happened to you, Sextum-san?!"

"But we aren't killing anyone," Sextum said. "The darkness merely is assimilating those in its wake, so their life essences can be remade elsewhere."

"What," Shiho, Nodoka, Yue and Kero flatly said at the same time.

"I would prefer explaining myself in the presence of Negi Springfield, if you don't mind," Sextum answered. "Could you please take me to him?"

Nodoka swallowed, then firmly gripped the handle of the red staff, while her bangs obscured the whole of her face. "I don't think so," she said in the sternest tone she could muster.

Sextum fought the momentary urge to check if she had any overdue library books to return. "I imagined that," the girl with short grayish hair nodded. "Well, I appreciate your honesty and your unwilligness to waste my time with negotiations," she politely added, then outstretched a hand and bombarded them all with a barrage of sharp ice projectiles. "In return, I'll also make this quick for you."

* * *

 **To be Continued**.


	6. King Mickey

_Mahou Sensei Negima!_ created and owned by Akamatsu Ken and Kodansha.

 _Kingdom Hearts_ created and owned by Square Enix and The Walt Disney Company.

 _Fate/Stay Night_ created and owned by Nasu Kinoko and Type-Moon.

 _Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon_ created and owned by Takeuchi Naoko and Shueisha.

 _Card Captor Sakura_ created and owned by CLAMP and Kodansha.

 _Mai HiME_ created and owned by Sunrise.

* * *

 **The Keys of the Kingdom HD 2.8 Final Chapter Prologue Turbo Hyper Champion Edition Gold**.

 **By OverMaster and Shadow Crystal Mage**.

* * *

 **Chapter Four**.

* * *

Aino Minako had never asked to be a Magical Girl in the first place.

Only year and a half ago (and wasn't it surprising, in hindsight, realizing how short a time it actually had been? It felt like a decade by now), when Artemis first came to her, Magical Girls were nothing but something you'd read about in old manga and sometimes watch in retro anime shows. Back then, Minako had only been interested in boys (and, all right, Emma Watson, because she was only human darn it!), volleyball, and lazing around.

Now, after fighting the first incarnation of the Dark Agency, briefly moving to England with her family, fighting demons there as well, and moving back to Japan (she still suspected Artemis had SOMEHOW pulled some strings to make that happen, even if he'd heatedly deny it and changed the subject every time the topic was brought up) to assemble the Sailor Team, she barely had time to obsess over one boy (but what a boy!), she had to quit the volleyball team, and slacking around was nothing but a cherished, graying memory.

It wasn't that she regretted accepting the white cat's offer, or rather imposition, of devoting her life to the cause of Great Justice. Even if she would never see a single yen out of all the merchandise built on her image, she still felt proud of becoming a nation-wide inspirational icon for young girls, fellow heroes, and cosplayers (even those with moustachoes and beards) everywhere (though she could have done without all the hentai doujin, but as a 21st century girl, she was resigned to Rule 34). Mostly, she was genuinely happy for all the lives she had saved. She only wished she wouldn't have to give up her own life in the process.

At least not when they hadn't even brought down the whole of the Dark Kingdom yet. That was the sole real regret Sailor Venus had now, as she prepared herself to meet her maker and accept her final reward.

Well, that, and dying a virgin (that weird, drunken time and occasional soapy shower with Ami didn't count, everyone knew that). At least she'd kissed a boy (and a girl, if you want to be a completist. And, all right, there'd been that youma girl before the sudden and inevitable betrayal and monster reveal, but she honestly hadn't known, so that totally didn't count no matter how many times… ), unlike Akira and Shiho, but...

All of that crossed Minako's mind in the blink of an eye that it took her to leap back along with the other Senshi, spinning in the air to shield her juniors Nodoka and Yue with her body… only to realize, as he closed her eyes, that she wasn't feeling multiple stabs into her chest, freezing her to death.

The Sailor Senshi landed back on their feet from their joint dodging back flip- in a way that made Artemis both proud of his training and somewhat envious- while Nodoka, Kero and Yue gasped. They saw another figure standing between them and Sextum, thrusting bony, long-nailed hands forward to project a magical energy shield before himself, blocking Sextum's projectiles in midair. "Headmaster-sensei!" Nodoka's cry confirmed the identity of the old person.

The elder remained where he was, but a blue eye under a bushy white eyebrow tilted back to glance in Nodoka's direction. "Miyazaki-kun. Fly away," Konoe Konoemon commanded.

"Great Elder of Kanto," Sextum bowed. "I'm honored my humble presence has merited your arrival, instead of your subordinates'."

Konoemon chuckled as he dropped the shield, and the ice daggers fell to the ground, only freezing parts of the sand. "To see these creatures again, after so long… which puppeteer is tugging on your strings now, young lady? This never was Cosmo Entelecheia's way, but that of—"

"I'm under a vow of secrecy on the subject, I'm afraid," she said. "I hope you will understand." Then she made head gestures towards Nodoka and Yue, who were frozen in fear if not in reality. "Good girls should be disciplined enough as to obey their seniors' commands. Flee."

"The same goes for you, vigilantes," Konoemon added, slowly slamming each foot on the ground, spreading his legs slightly open. "I know I never welcomed you, and I still think that was the correct course of action then, but even so... If I fall now, please, if my moment passes and yours arrives, I entrust my children's safety upon you."

"Headmaster!" Sailor Mercury gasped.

"By the way," he rasped, flexing his taut, expanding muscles in preparation for combat, "why aren't you wearing shoes, young miss?"

The barefooted Sailor Mars grunted. "Long story, Sir. Long story!"

"Ah, I suppose it's one of those things a gentleman shouldn't ask from a lady. My apologies, then," Konoemon nodded. "Now go!"

"But—!" Nodoka said.

"GO!" Konoe repeated. "Do I have to spell it out for you? I'm going all Gandalf here!"

"This isn't the time to disobey authority! You heard him!" Sailor Mars urged while jumping ahead down the road after giving a vigorous tug on the doubting, pale Akira's arm. After a moment, Sailor Venus bit deeply into her lower lip and nodded at Nodoka, and the rest of them followed the Senshi of Fire down the pathway into the woods as fast as they could.

Sextum sighed. "I find this scene to have been rather archetypical."

Konoemon calmly readied his arms into a fighting posture. "Oh? Would you happen to be a student of fictional narrative, perhaps?"

"As the most advanced model, I was designed to be the closest to standard human behavior," she slowly reached over with an arm, "although I have to admit perhaps my third brother's got an edge in that regard so far, brought from his longer immersion amongst humans."

Then she, as she had expected, felt the lightning fast miniature cuts of the air around her, as the paper charms that had just flown from the old man's sleeves surrounded her from every angle, growing sharp and sinking into the ground. Instantly, the barrier cage was projected around her, and Konoemon slammed his hands together, concentrating as fire erupted within the barrier's limits, engulfing Sextum. She barely smiled, and before the flames could do anything but singe her clothes, she altered the water molecules in the air, turning all in her proximity into liquid that gently doused the fire.

Next thing she knew, the old man had slammed a foot into her chest. An interesting kick, no doubt a personal development born from Chinese kenpo roots. She pondered congratulating him for a moment, but as she grabbed his leg and twisted it around, she decided he could find the mixture of actions and words insincere and insulting. People tended to react that way about compliments thrown during violent physical contact, she had learned, even if the reasons still eluded her. Humans. Go figure.

With her hands busy, he spun, ignoring the pain, and kicked her in the face, sending her neck slightly back. She released the leg, which still remained functional enough, and blocked his next punch. It seemed he was banking on his barrier keeping her restricted enough to allow him strike her with purely physical attacks.

Still, he didn't seem too disappointed or shocked when she simply punched through the barrier, pulling herself out. He was not underestimating her, after all. "Thanks," she said, with a slight nod, before deciding to match words with actions this time, and honor him by countering with martial arts rather than spellwork. Maybe she could assimilate new data in an area where Tertium still outclassed her. She advanced with a calculated combination of several styles' moves, including Karate, Capoeira and Baritsu, to keep him guessing and confused. His blocks were very solid, but mostly insufficient to repel her, and before long he found himself being driven back by her, forced into the defensive with no time or room to retaliate. He had probably been hoping that, by forcing her to fight up close, she wouldn't resort to long range magic, an area where Cosmo Entelecheia's creations would clearly surpass him easily, but…

"I think by now they should have reached their destination. Thank you," Sextum said then, just lifting a hand and creating a massive sphere of ice and snow right over the old man. One she then brought down on him, crushing his hastily prepared defense shield, and burying him under a giant cloud of howling blizzard. Once the cloud dissipated, she quietly looked at the figure encased into a small hill of ice left in its place, and bowed deeply to it. "You will be remembered fondly," she promised before quickly moving down the path, following the trail of the youngsters and the cat.

* * *

A very short while after, two other figures, arriving from another section of the campus, stopped by the playground, pausing in shock before Konoemon's frozen frame.

One of them was dark, hulking, huge, a mountain of chiseled muscle with glowing red eyes, mostly bare and threatening even in the slightest of his motions. His hair waving in the breeze was a direct threat of violence. The other, who sat on a broad shoulder of the titan, was diminutive in comparison, and very small even by average standards, pale and white-haired, with an innocent appearance and clad from neck to toe in thick clothes that shielded her from the piercing cold of the evening.

They couldn't be any more different from each other. And yet...

Illyasviel von Einzbern smiled to herself with a playful wickedness that betrayed her naive looks. "Well, well, look at what we have here, will you, Berserker? The powerful Headmaster of Mahora himself..."

 _ **"HRGRGRGRGSGFHH!"**_ Berserker replied.

She easily hopped down from his shoulder after he leaned forward, crouching so she could make her leap graceful and precise, landing on her booted feet before the ice sculpture. With tiny, slim fingers well used to the rigors of snowy winters, she touched the surface of the ice construction holding the man inside and mused aloud, "Still alive... Who'd have thought it? Whoever did it has a warm heart after all..."

She giggled cutely at her own joke, despite finding it rather lame herself, and analyzed the rest of her surroundings with a careful, clinical eye. Following a short trail of small puddles on the ground, she looked down the little road heading North, and the varied footprints scattered all over its surface.

A few of those footprints belonged to a cat.

She could remember glimpsing, for the briefest of instants before being knocked out by the clown girl during Berserker's fight with Saber and Vigilante, a white cat coming with the ridiculously clothed girls coming to her brothers' aid. Coincidence? Illya didn't believe in coincidences, much less whenever magic was involved.

"Berserker," she said, and was gently picked back up by him, placed again on his shoulder. She giggled again, this time in anticipation. She pointed ahead and ordered, "Follow that trail."

With no sound other than the rumbling of his steps, he obeyed as quickly as ever, idlyswinging the massive slab of rock in his right hand. A crude weapon still covered in black, oozing fluids. It had been a long, entertaining evening so far, at least from Illya's perspective, smashing those creatures who had been kind enough to show up to provide the entertainment lost by the Grail War's stubborn refusal to actually start already.

Maybe this would finally smoke the other Servants out of their hidey holes, so Illyasviel actually wanted to thank whoever was responsible for it.

The way Illya favored, of course. Which involved Berserker releasing the target of her gratitude from all their burdens after a gentle tap to the head.

All heart, Illyasviel.

* * *

 _Meanwhile!_

Since there was no point on everyone staying by the Gummi Ship while it was being repaired, the non-fighter members of Negi's crew had retreated back with Aerith-san and their prisoner (whom they had locked up in a basement until a better arrangement could be found. Chisame decided against asking about the 'Leon was here' graffitti on the basement's walls). Skuld had estimated the repairs would take another day or so, and in the meantime the frontline fighters would stand guard over them in the event more enemies might arrive.

"All I'm saying is," Chisame was arguing now, sitting next to a tea-sipping Aerith and across from Makie and Yuuna back at Cid's hideout in Traverse Town, "if they call him Goofy, they're the insensitive ones, aren't they? Why do I get called out on it just because I point it out? What kind of friends allow their friends go through life being called 'Goofy' anyway? That's like, I can't think of a good example..."

"Like calling someone 'Baka Pink'?" Makie asked.

Chisame flinched. "Hey, we weren't friends," she said lamely.

"I thought you liked being Baka Pink?" Yuuna asked, drenching a piece of bread that was too hard for her comfort into her cup.

"And I'm sure that guy likes being called 'Goofy' too," Makie reasoned, "because even I know no one who got to be the Captain of a Royal Guard would let people call them names they don't like without busting the teeth of those calling them like that. And Gadget-chan has all her teeth in their place."

Aerith put her cup down. "What does 'Baka' mean?"

"Idiot," Makie replied. "Though I heard it means 'cow' in some countries down south."

"And why do they call you that? Because you've been the smartest person through this whole conversation."

"Hey!" Chisame protested.

"I get bad grades." Makie shrugged. "Like Yuuna-chan said, I like the name. I think it's cute! Never tell my Homura-mama they call me that, though, or everybody in my classroom will lose their teeth..."

* * *

"N-No way," Nodoka gasped while she, Yue, Kero, Artemis and the three Sailor Senshi stopped in front of where Evangeline's cottage used to be. Now the only thing left at the site was a large, charred hole in the ground as big around as the cabin had been. "P-P-Paru! N-N-Negi-sensei…!" and she fainted back into Yue's arms, the smaller girl's knees wobbling and barely keeping her standing.

"Oh my God, Yuuna! Makie-chan!" Akira stifled a scream by slamming a hand on her own mouth and then tightly squeezing on it, tears coming to her eyes.

"Are you sure this is the place?" Kero asked, flying in circles over the burnt patch of ground. "You never visited her that much, did you?"

"Only once, when we came to give Evangeline some homework after she and Chachamaru-san skipped classes… but I'm pretty certain this was the exact site!" Yue gulped.

Artemis sniffed the air. "Will you please get a hold of yourselves and think this through? There's no blood or charred flesh anywhere, and no remains of the cabin itself, either. I understand why you'd panic, but you still shouldn't be jumping to conclusions like that."

"What, are you saying the cottage just went and blinked away, happening to leave a large burn mark behind?" asked Shiho. "Well, I'll admit you can't just discard anything that easily nodaways, but... hey, Ayase-san, are you sure she just didn't move away recently?" she asked Yue. "Because I could see a witch doing this to her former place of residence. It's the best way to avoid leaving any tracks or clues behind."

"The squid's right this once, Yue," Kero flew down to Ayase's eye level. "If the enemy'd gotten to them first, then that girl wouldn't have asked us for this location…"

"Who are you calling a squid, you stupid flying car ornament, you?!" Shiho angrily shrieked, her four red pigtails squirming like angry tentacles. "What is it with you people and your inability to count?!"

"Well thought, servant of Clow Reed," Sextum said quietly, appearing on the narrow road behind them, and surprising them all. She only walked towards them at a sedate pace, while Mars quickly backpedalled behind Venus, who seethed at the albino. "It would seem you are as ignorant as I am on this subject, so I suppose there's little point in starting a new battle you couldn't win."

"Or could we?" Minako forced a hard smirk, readying her Love Chain.

"No. No, I'm reasonably sure you couldn't," Sextum sedately shook her head, not boasting or bluffing, simply stating a perfectly rational and logical fact. "What ever made you think you could?"

"Umm... Experience?" Venus asked, somehow feeling less confident now. Mars was tugging on her skirt from behind while urgently whispering accumulated suggestions of hasty retreat.

"What, what did you do to Headmaster Konoe?" Yue stuttered.

"He gave me no choice but to freeze him," Sextum answered. "Rest assured he is alive, and if I placed him in a block of ice rather than turning him into an ice statue, it was to lessen the chances of someone shattering him. However—"

"You, you did what?!" a livid Yue backed away, dragging Nodoka's limp frame with her as Akira stepped in to stand between them and the Averruncus. Then Baka Black shook her head. "F-Forget it, that was a dumb stock question…"

Sextum nodded. "Yes, it was. Now, I won't repeat my prior offer, but I am still willing to spare you if you can guide me to another possible location of Kagurazaka Asuna and Negi Springfield…"

 _"Pearl!"_ yet somebody else cried, and a vaguely spherical blast of light came out of the woods, hitting Sextum's feet and knocking her back into a bush. She instantly leaped back to a fighting stance, as she and the others saw a small hooded figure fully clad in black step out from between the trees, holding a massive key-shaped instrument in a hand that was gloved in starkly contrasting white. The metallic object was almost taller than its petite wielder, and yet they gave no sign of any physical strain as they pointed with it towards Sextum. "Don't you dare move, Ma'am! The rest of you, move behind me! You can't help this girl… or everything might be lost!"

"… who the heck are you, and why does your voice sound like you're pumped up on helium?" a perplexed Shiho asked, completely torn between being impressed at the sudden daring rescue and being baffled at how that high pitched, squeaky voice had just ruined the whole badass effect of the entrance.

"Helium?" the newcomer seemed confused, as the two students and the rest of the Senshi nonetheless quickly obeyed them. "I'm not… forget it!" He kept brandishing the giant key towards Sextum. "Go tell your masters you'll never prevail! The power of darkness will never win!"

Sailor Venus cringed. "Okay, now that was corny, and I'm speaking as someone to whom 'corny' is not a last resort." Then she realized there was a long, thin, black tail coming from the back of the mysterious stranger's clothes. "Oh geeze, don't tell me you're a furry cosplayer! No offense intended, but the last thing I want is to be saved by one of those!"

"What are you talking about? Fur is beautiful!" Artemis scoffed. "Although I'm not sure why, but I feel a strange sudden urge to bite on this guy's leg..."

"Whatever you do, don't ever grab the tail," Yue warned, "Much less think of yanking on it, or you might be in for a whole world of trouble…"

"H-Hey, don't start gettin' strange ideas, alright?! L-Leave the tail alone, willya?!" the stranger moved it away from their reach. "Now, as for you, Ma'am…"

Sextum flicked a wrist and sent a few ice darts towards the stranger. However, almost as quickly, the strange new arrival just deflected them all with a turn of his key, so they landed amidst several nearby trees, freezing their roots. "Impressive," she blandly said. "So this is a 'Keyblade'. They were right; it mustn't be allowed to be used against us. However, I wonder," she said, gesturing around so the air around them was filled with dozens and dozens of ice projectiles, all hovering towards the heroes-antiheroes-unknown factors, "will even it be enough to block all of these at once?"

 _"Stopza,"_ was all the cloaked figure said then, and Sextum herself froze… not wrapped in ice, but simply being forced into a still position, as were her intended weapons. Nodoka, who was coming back to her senses, gasped as she saw her just standing her, perfectly immobile.

"Wha-What is going on…?" the shy librarian began, before this short person in black she'd never seen before silenced her with a squeaky hiss.

"Stopza won't last long," they said. "Let's move away quickly. From what I've heard about these beings, I can't defeat one of 'em one-on-one…"

"No, I'm fairly sure none of us could," said Akira, who had seen Sextum in action before.

"Hey, now," Shiho mumbled, "wait just a moment here, it's not that we're not grateful for the help, little boy or girl…"

"Little? He's just as tall as you!" Kero observed.

"I don't sound like I'm under ten, though! I only happen to be the cute petite type!" Shiho protested. "Anyway, I won't be going anywhere with this person as long as I can't see the face under that hood! I'm not that kind of girl!"

A visibly slighted Sailor Venus raised an eyebrow.

"It's not my fault if you'd be perfectly okay with going with a complete stranger hiding his face!" Mars protested. "That's your call, but don't try to tell me I have to be like that, too!"

The stranger sighed. "Okay. But please don't be alarmed. I believe you don't have many who are like me in this world, so…"

And then he pulled the hood back, and revealed, to everyone's awe, a mostly black head with a shiny black nose and a pair of big, perfectly round ears…

"Ah, so that was why!" Artemis brightly said, giving a big chomp on the air. And then slowly licking his whiskers all over. "All that meat...! I had never seen something that delicious...!"

The others stopped gasping in shock and stared at him.

Artemis frowned. "What? He's a mouse, I'm a cat! This is a perfectly natural and healthy reaction! It's not like I suddenly want to eat Boo-sensei, or anything like that!"

* * *

"We should be safe here for the time being," the giant mouse said, taking his hand off the door he had been applying a spell to using the huge key, much like Negi would use his staff. He then sat on the floor before the others tightly crammed into the small tool shed in the woods Shiho had led them to, one the Mahora forest rangers and surveillance staff like Mana and Setsuna made use of during their patrols. "I've just sealed and cloaked us from detection over the next few… hours, I estimate. My name, then, is Mickey Mouse, king of the Timeless Lands, and I'm looking for a man named Nagi Springfield, the Thousand Master. That girl back there, she mentioned a Negi Springfield, is that—"

"N-Nagi the Thousand Master is the father of N-Negi Springfield-sensei, our teacher, sir…" Nodoka stuttered, "b-but he's been missing for years… Negi-sensei has devoted his life to finding him, but... but with little success so far…"

"It can't be," the bipedal mouse's mouth hung slightly open. "I-I'd been told he was a hero without peer, how could he…?"

"Has anyone ever told you your ears look the same from all angles?" Shiho asked, awkwardly shifting around and craning her neck in all directions so her gaze could circle all around Mickey's head as best as possible. "It's actually kinda creepy…"

"Oh dear, I wasn't expecting to find him immediately, but this…" he lowered the key a little, his grip quivering ever so slightly. "Yen Sid. I must go back to Master Yen Sid, he'll know what to do, there's no time to look elsewhere…"

"Now wait a minute, Your Rodent Royalty," Minako protested, "why are you calling it quits and try turning tail as soon as you hear Sensei's pops isn't here? I mean, yeah, I also heard he was a great hero, but let me reassure you this world has no shortage of other heroes who can help you. Ourselves included!"

"You've got to admit, we didn't give him the best impression of that back there," Sailor Mercury sadly pointed out.

"There isn't anybody else in Mundus Magicus who could help us dealing with this situation?" asked Kerberos.

"Mundus Magicus?" King Mickey asked.

"Yeah, well, the World of Magic. That's where you come from, right?" the floating plushie asked. "I can tell, just by looking at you, you ain't from Osaka!"

"I think… I come from a place you aren't even aware of," the talking rodent confessed. "All around my realm, the stars have been going out, and there have been omens… well, I was told I'd need to find the Thousand Master, he who knows one thousand spells, and he'd help me find the balance between the worlds…"

"If the stars themselves are buying the farm all over the place," Shiho muttered, "then I don't think anyone in this world could help you, mage or not. Maybe Strange-sensei and Superman-sama, but I'm afraid you came to the wrong country then..."

"Oh!" Mickey blinked. "If you can't help me find the Thousand Master, can you point me towards Clow Reed? Yen Sid told me they'd studied together, and…"

"I'm sorry to tell you, mister," Kero said, "but Clow Reed was my master, and he's been dead for a century now…"

Mickey paled again, made as if to bash his head with his key, then stopped himself from doing so, shaking his head in dismay.

"So, about those monsters," Yue said, trying to keep herself calm, "why are they here? What do they want from us?"

"Heartless," Mickey brought his hands together. "That's what they're called. They go from one world to another, stealing the hearts of all those they find, extending the lines at the DMV and plunging worlds into darkness. They are almost impossible to destroy unless one wields very powerful magic, like this," he said, lifting the key effortlessly. "The Keyblade, given to me by my master…"

"Yen Sid?" Kero said. "I remember Master Clow telling me about him once, but other than some clumsy apprentice who messed around with enchanted brooms, he never mentioned Yen Sid had any disciples…"

"Eeehhh… ah-ha-ha, I was that apprentice," Mickey sheepishly said.

"Figures," Kero sighed.

"You're a flying plushie with a toddler's voice, how can you think of anyone else as pathetic?" Shiho pointed out.

"Mind your own business, squid!" Kero yelled at her.

"I only have four!"

"And that Keyblade of yours is really that powerful?" Venus asked, effortlessly ignoring this byplay. "Again, no offense, but it kinda looks like a giant toy or a novelty store prop."

Shiho tapped herself on the head. "You attack people with a chain made of little cute hearts, and you have the guts to call him out on that?"

"Well, you just saw what he did to Sextum-san, didn't you?" Mercury asked in turn. "And remember, she's supposed to be strong enough as to be a rival to Sensei's father! Nodoka-san can back me up on that."

"Indeed," Nodoka nodded. "Back in Kyoto, we'd have been powerless to stop her if not for Evangeline-san and Magus Erebus-sensei."

"Magus Erebus?" Mickey asked.

Nodoka sighed. "Someone who isn't in this world anymore, so he can't help us anyway."

"Ohh…" Mickey said very slowly. "I'm very sorry about your loss, then. That sounds like he was remarkable warrior…"

"Oh, no, it wasn't that he died!" Nodoka said. "He just… well, he went back to his world of birth, but we have absolutely no way to contact him again."

"I see…" Mickey pondered, with his hands on his knees.

"That girl you fought…" Yue said. "She tried to kidnap our classmate Konoka a couple months ago, so she could use Konoka's power to help a witch summon a much bigger demon. Might it be they've taken Konoka again, and used her to bring this upon Mahora?"

"Chernabog?!" Mickey all but screamed.

"I beg your pardon?" Yue blinked.

"That demon, could it have been Chernabog, the ultimate manifestation of evil in our world?!" Mickey quickly demanded.

"Ah, no, that was another demon, Sir," replied Akira. "Its name was Ryomen Sukuna no Kami; it had several arms and several faces, all of them hideous, and it was supposed to be extremely powerful, although it never did anything but roaring and getting frozen… but anyway, in this world the ultimate manifestation of evil is named Stephenie Meyer!"

The two librarians shuddered. "Never bring up that name again in our presence, please," Yue warned.

"Okay, right, I'm sorry!" their classmate apologized before making a concerned face. "Wait a second, what is that? I can feel the room's temperature literally going down…"

Minako blinked. "Seriously? I feel the same as before. It's kind of a cold night in the first place, yeah, but…"

"Ice is my element," Akira frowned slightly, while feeling the air with the fingers of a hand, "I'm more in tune with it than the rest of you. Um, Your Majesty… you did say this cloaking of yours should hold on for a few hours, didn't you?"

Mickey clenched his teeth while standing up and readying the Keyblade. "Then again, one can never know for sure when dealing with the unknown. She's good at being bad, I'll give her that."

Nodoka and Yue looked at the walls, which were being quickly covered by a thin layer of ice seeping in from the outside, and thickening at a fast pace. "She found us," Nodoka said, reaching for The Create. Despite of her previous attempts to write 'Take all the evil things away' and 'Create a giant dragon that eats all the evil things' failing for some reason even before they met the Senshi, forcing them to flee, she knew The Create remained, in theory, her best trump card against overwhelming odds, and she was willing to give it another try…

"Brace yourselves," King Mickey warned, aiming the Keyblade towards the shed's door, and then blasting it open.

* * *

 _Meanwhile!_

"It's sort of funny, you know," Negi mused as he looked at his cards, "how one is always learning new things about people, even those we thought we already had learned everything there was to know..."

"What's wrong about keeping a deck of cards on oneself at all times?" Setsuna asked. "I do a lot of patrolling with Mana-san, and while we both know better than to play cards in the line of duty, it always sharpens your mind to distract yourself for a while after you're done..."

Negi blinked, truly perplexed. "Seriously?"

Setsuna nodded. "Just make sure to never bet any money with her. Then she WILL win no matter what, no matter how utterly impossible and illogical the odds."

"Oh my God," Asuna looked up from her own hand. "You ARE more of a workaholic than Setsuna-san, sensei! How comes Chisame hasn't kicked the concept of post-duty entertainment into your mind?!"

Negi seemed half-scared of her reaction, half-unsure of what did she mean to start with. "Um, well. That's a matter for another time, I guess, although right now, we technically still are on watch duty. Maybe we should stop doing this and be more alert in the event—"

"Why, oh why, would anyone need to keep paying attention when I can keep doing it?!" Haruka's voice loudly came from the top of the tree she was sitting on. "After all, I'm well used to doing all the actual job others negligeet, from years suffering under Fujino's shadow! Not that I'm complaining, since I love doing it anyway, like I'm doing now...!"

"The right word is 'neglect', even I know that," Asuna muttered, pondering what to do about the hand she'd been dealt, "and really, Vice Prez, if you want to play with us, you only have to ask, I'd be glad to teach—"

"I don't want to! The sight of this godforsoothen place from here is absolutotally wonderful! I can see the ruins of monster-ravaged towns in all their grim spleendor!" Haruka's voice forcefully sing-sang.

Asuna sighed. "Suit yourself."

"Either way, I'm not in the line of duty for the moment," Setsuna grimly said. "My duty is to look after Konoka-Ojou-sama, and she's back at Traverse Town, so I'm already indulging in an unforgivable transgression as it is, and what difference does it make adding a game of cards?"

"Oh, for fuck's sake!" Asuna said.

"Language," Negi said reflexively.

 _Somewhere, Captain America pointedly did not sneeze._

"Setsuna-san, this is part of your duty as well! If the smart guys don't get this thing flying, we might stay stuck in this weird place forever!" Asuna continued, pointing at the nearby Gummi ship, filled with the frantic sounds of heavy manual work inside. "Do you want that, huh, huh?"

Setsuna thought it over, pondering a long succession of mental images of herself and Konoka growing happily old and gray together away from the prejudiced eyes of modern civilization, and ended up just biting her lower lip, hissing under her breath, and coloring her pale cheeks with a deep reddish shade.

"... you'd better not be thinking about what I think you are..." a half-livid Asuna said, right before the sound of an explosion from inside the ship startled them all.

"We're okay!" Skuld's voice happily said. "We've just successfully calibrated the energy transference from the core rerouter to the hyperspace accelerator!"

Another explosion ensued, making the ground tremble, and one of the ship's wings fell down.

"We can fix that!" Satomi's voice promised. "Rather easily, at that!"

"That," Setsuna said, "is why I don't trust any flying conveyance that doesn't grow from my back. Also, queens full," she added, laying her cards down.

"Suddenly it seems having all our mad scientists working on the same project might not be such a good idea…" Asuna mused.

"I told you, we should have added an extra warpspeed turbine to the middle under-rail to balance the influx!" Lala's voice argued. "C'mon, I can make one for you! Just give me a couple hours, and I'll even thrown in a massage dispenser sauna and vibrating seats!"

"Ojou-sama's never setting a foot on that thing, by the way," Setsuna fairly warned Negi and Asuna.

* * *

"W-Well, there should be no problem at all anyway, r-right?" Shiho asked as the shed's door slowly fell off its hinges, its ice-covered surface shattering on contact with the ground outside. "Y-you just gotta hit her again with that time-freezing spell of yours, and that's it, right?"

"I wish it could be, but I can't do that too often," Mickey said in a low voice out of a corner of his mouth, stepping out to face Sextum, who was now flanked by several dozen small Heartless. "If I do it, a nice Guardian of Time lady dressed just like you an' armed with a very long staff comes down and threatens to kill me. Not that I blame her, it's her job after all…"

Sailor Mercury rolled her eyes and muttered, "Thank you very much, Pluto-san."

The Heartless immediately rushed forward, but even before Mickey could strike at them, Nodoka finished what she had been writing on the pages of The Create, and several large battering rams appeared out of thin air, slamming the Heartless far away. Two even larger rams surrounded Sextum and tried to smash her between both, but she only punched each one aside, breaking it into many tiny pieces.

"Okay, there's no going back now, time to fight ice with fire! It's time to solve this problem by burning it!" Shiho gathered her courage, slamming her hands together, aiming them at Sextum and letting the flames fly. Not that it did much, since Sextum easily flipped around in the air, pirouetting past Mickey and kicking the Senshi of the Red Planet in the face as she offhandedly swung a fist at Venus, catching Minako in the nose and breaking it before she could react. "Ouchie, ouchie, that really hurt a lot, not fair…!" Sailor Mars whined, landing on her butt and rubbing her aching face with the back of a fist.

"MAH PFACE! MAH BOOTIFUL FOOTOORE AHDOL FACE! AHL KILL DYOU! AHL KICK DYOUR ASS SDO HARD SHITD COMES OUTD DYOUR NOSE!" Minako cried with much less composure.

King Mickey swung the Keyblade at her, and while Sextum blocked it with an ice-covered elbow, the force still made her reel back on her feet. She blocked his next strike as well, but much to her surprise, it did actually hurt. Pain was something she was not used to, out of a few of her sparring sessions with her brothers and Lord Dynamis, but she assimilated the mostly alien sensation rather well. She countered with a kick, but now it was his time to block with the Key. It was then when she realized something. "You rely exclusively on your weapon. Without it, you should be no threat."

"Good luck takin' it away from me," he smiled, now sending a flurry of quick jabs with the Keyblade, one of which actually impacted on her chest and made her stagger a few steps back. _"Pearl!"_ he repeated the earlier spell, unwilling to show more of his repertoire just yet. In combination with the hit he had just landed, it sent her crashing against the shed, while Yue, Nodoka, the Sailor Senshi, Artemis and Kero all gathered behind him on the road, ready to either help him or retreat.

"Ohkay, I'm heading suggedences fnow," Minako said, nursing her damaged but quickly healing nose carefully. "I affume Tuxhedo Khamen-shama muscht be buzy now, sho mabbe we shoffn't be waitin' fof a reschcue."

Sextum rose back to her feet, raised a hand, and sent an onslaught of ice flechettes towards Mickey, who moved his arm extra fast to stop them all while flashes of light that seemed to spark from the Keyblade. "I'm not sure what we should do," he confessed. "But either way, I think we're wasting our time here…"

"I think I can cover our escape with some fog," Akira whispered to her allies, "but she seems to have better control over water than me, so I'm afraid she could just freeze it and use it against us. What do you think, Leader?"

Before Sailor Venus could make up her mind on the subject and offer an answer that most likely wouldn't be understood anyway, there was a mischievous giggle, and another voice calling out from above, "My, my, looks like some people aren't so good attacking others when they aren't ambushing them from behind!"

King Mickey blinked, now standing his ground against Sextum herself, who had just rushed ahead to push against his key before he could cast Stopza again. "Who's that…?"

"Oh my God, not her," Yue gasped. "Why did it have to be her, and right now?"

"Is that, don't tell me that's…" Nodoka stammered.

"I am," confirmed a small purple figure dropping from the trees between them, landing on her feet skillfully and smirking with impish malice. "And I hardly came alone, either!"

Mickey blinked again. "A little girl? Oh gosh!"

"An Einzbern homunculus," Sextum blandly said. "In hindsight, I should have expected this. We have reports Nagi Sprignfield contributed genetic material to make one."

Shiho's eyes widened. "Wait, isn't this the same creepy little freak commanding the very huge, I mean, the very cute adorable angel commanding the very huge—"

"Fu, fu, fu!" Cocking her head aside petulantly, the little silver haired albino snapped her fingers. "Berserker! Show yourself!"

As Nodoka, Yue, the Senshi and the mascots all quickly backed away in terror, a massive, hulking monstrosity dropped by as well, landing right next to Illya and making the ground tremble under his oversized bare feet. It threw its head back and roared, sending rumbling echoes all through the campus, forcing the girls to cover their ears, shattering several windows that happened to be relatively close, and making every and each Heartless currently rampaging through the school to momentarily pause in their savagery, intimidated by a threat even greater than their own.

Sextum and Mickey had momentarily stopped, staring at the newcomer while deciding what to do about him. "Ah… I think there's been a mistake here, mister, young ma'am?" Mickey dubiously said. "You see, this young lady here, she's the one who's been—"

"Silence, I don't care who's on which side, everyone's an enemy to us all the same!" Illya dismissively said, gesturing a hand at him in utter disdain. "Even so, seriously? Were you about to say the black clad denizen from another world has nothing to do with the black creatures from another world, it's the fault of the young human girl?" she mocked as Berserker casually punched back a foolish Heartless trying to sneak on him from the bushes, and turning it into nothing but floating specks of black. "Oh, sure thing, sure thing!"

"But it **is** her fault," Nodoka said.

"She's admitted it and everything," Yue added.

Sextum nodded. "I am, indeed, in charge of this invasion operation."

"… oh," the homunculus said. Then she shrugged and said, "Well, like I said, it's all the same to me either way! We were going to kill all of you, one way or another. Look at it this way, I'm saving you troublemakers an awkward trip to your Principal's office! Well, your acting Principal's, anyway, since someone just turned that old man into a popsicle…"

"Again, that would be her," Shiho said, pointing at Sextum.

Sextum nodded. "I cannot tell a lie."

"I think we have a Vice-Principal, don't we?" Nodoka asked Yue.

Yue shrugged. "Honestly, I never had bothered to think about it..."

"Shure fhing we do," Minako said, sounding a bit less mangled now. While transformed into a Senshi, she healed remarkably faster than a normal human. "Dat fat perverted guy halways chazing affter cwute gwirls, I dun't rememfah his name wight now…"

"This is far too… silly," Sextum said. "It seems somewhat unfair. Primum and Secundum got to fight the great heroes of Ala Rubra, why must I be delayed by this nonsense?" She sighed and then waved her fingers around, making several huge geysers of water sprout from the ground everywhere around her, sending her opponents but the seemingly rooted on his feet Berserker flying around in all directions.

* * *

 **To be Continued**.


	7. Sextum versus Berserker

Akamatsu Ken and Kodansha created and own _Mahou Sensei Negima!_

And... you know what, forget it, I just don't feel like it today. On with the show.

We make no money from this.

* * *

 **The Keys of the Kingdom HD 2.8 Final Chapter Prologue Turbo Hyper Champion Edition Gold**.

 **By OverMaster and Shadow Crystal Mage**.

* * *

 **Chapter Five**.

* * *

"—no, Bugs, I'm never going sky diving with you ever again..." a groggy Mickey muttered, then shook his head to clear his mind, propelling himself up with his Keyblade while regaining his full awareness and dearly hoping he hadn't spent too long passed out after hitting his head against that trunk...

"One!" an amused Illya was chuckling, standing to the side with Berserker, her arms folded as she watched Sextum throwing Sailor Venus against the ground, right after frustrating the blonde's attempt to leap on her from behind with a Sailor V Kick.

"Oh dear," Mickey gasped.

"Two!" Illya sing-sang mockingly while Sailor Mercury, after shooting a wide barrage of Mercury Bubbles at Sextum, had the bubbles turned into fine snow that fell harmlessly with a single wave of Sextum's hand. In a blink, she punched her in the stomach and sent her crashing against a tree, making Akira scream in pain.

"H-Hold on there, young lady!" Mickey gasped, seeing the tall girl was badly hurt, and rushing to her, kneeling at her side to start applying a Curaga spell on her. Judging from how badly wrecked their surroundings were, it was clear they had been fighting for several minutes while he was unconscious. "You'll be okay, I promise!"

"P-Please d-don't mind me, help... the girls... Mercury gasped, trying to get up. "She wanted to steal your Key wh-while you were out, so we had to..."

"Three!" Illya shouted now, waving a fist high in a circle; after trying to apply a wind blast at Sextum, Nodoka had been foiled when, without missing a beat, the Averruncus of Water simply swatted a hand aside and, without even touching Nodoka, sent a burst of compressed air strong enough to ripple through Miyazaki's attack and make her fall back. Yue rushed to her side, beginning to forcefully drag her away despite of Nodoka's attempts to rejoin the fray.

Mickey stood back while Sailor Mercury blinked in surprise and touched all over her torso, finding the bruises and wounds all gone. "I'm sorry I couldn't do it faster and better, my wife's the White Mage in our house," he sheepishly apologized. "Thanks for protecting the Kingdom Key then. I'll take over from here... Miss Mercury, wasn't it?"

"Aaaaand Four is Death!" Illya shouted next, while Sailor Mars was also batted away, rather easily, after trying to ambush Sextum from a distance with a series of fire blasts shot from her fingers.

"Please!" Akira reached for Mickey's sleeve and tugged back on it, "What are you going to do? If attacking her all at once didn't work, tackling her on your own will a suicide!"

The mouse shook her hand off without even looking back. "I'm not sure. But I still gotta try."

Akira gasped at the deadly serious tone from this silly looking creature, then steeled herself and nodded. "We gotta try," she told him.

"Okay," a pleased Illya said, calmly walking ahead while clapping softly, "that'll be enough, I think. I greatly appreciate the entertainment, but I believe it's time to stop before you murder these harlots. Because, you see, that's my exclusive privilege and—"

Ignoring her altogether, Mickey fell in the standard 'dramatic ass-kicking' pose that was standard issue with each Keyblade as he faced Sextum. "Ma'am!" he yelled. "It's me you want! So let's settle this one on one and leave 'em out of it!"

"Mou!" Illya pouted. "How rude! Don't ignore me just because I'm a lovely child! At least knowledge I'm holding the reins of the greatest killing machine in this world!"

"You're secretly Stephenie Meyer?" Artemis said blandly from where he was trying to encourage Venus back on her feet.

"You're dying first, cat!" Illya cried, insulted.

"I would be perfectly okay with your challenge, and with sparing their lives for your sake," Sextum nodded towards Mickey, and then towards Illyasviel, pausing as everyone else around them also paused in their moaning attempts to recover. "However, I don't think they'll be convinced to retreat until they are either unconscious or dead. Perhaps they would listen to you?"

Illya grinned. "Why assume we're going to solve any of this through words? And I was thinking you were a woman of action; how disappointing...!"

Mickey gave Illyasviel a troubled look then, trying to figure out exactly what was wrong with her. Where he came, little girls never were that... twisted and eccentric. Then he looked at the back of her right hand, and he understood. Lifting a hand for a moment, gesturing for Sextum to wait, he asked the albino, "Are you a Master? My teacher told me, in this world, there are humans who use Magecraft to summon spirits from the secret realm beyond worlds."

Sextum listened with curiosity at the exchange, eager to learn more about the secrets of the other worlds. She was fairly reassured about the manageable threat level posed by all those present, so she stood and paid attention, nonetheless casting a passive barrier around herself.

"You're right, so you're smarter than Tohsaka's Servant after all!" Illyasviel nodded happily. The giant stood right behind her, clearly impatient and restless. "You know, none of the other Masters in this war wants to take me seriously, even when I make clear I control Heracles, greatest of all heroes! Maybe you'll be different, then?"

"Hercules!" Mickey gasped in horror, taking a step back.

Sextum hummed softly. "I see. As expected from the Einzberns' final hope. However, before our confrontation goes any further, what do you have to gain from interfering in our conflict? None of us are Masters, and I am not interested in the Sacred Cup. Shouldn't you be investing these moments on hunting the rest of your competitors?"

"What a Master decides to do with their own time is none of your business, since as you've admitted you're nothing but an outsider," Illya told her. "Suffice to say, my main reason to fight in this War is finding and punishing my wayward brothers, and if I have to punish their loved ones to do so, so be it. You're an obstacle in that path as long as you intend to do that yourself, so go away or share their fate."

"I'm afraid," Sextum coolly said, "we have plans of our own for Negi Springfield that don't involve his destruction at your hands."

"I never said it'd be at my hands. That's why I have him," Illya poked a thumb back towards Berserker, and giggled perversely. "Berserker. Kill her. Make it hurt!"

With a mad howl of unrestrained fury, the monstrous Servant jumped cleanly right over his tiny Master, and hurled himself, crude weapon first, on Sextum.

* * *

From the start, Sextum Averruncus had not been interested in actually winning the fight. Her mission's goal was to find and retrieve Kagurazaka Asuna and Negi Springfield, and the presence of a Master and Servant duo standing in her way was nothing but an undesirable bump... yet not undesirable enough to merit the effort and time taken from her objective's pursuit to ensure their elimination.

Yet, the secondary parameters filed into her code included a willingness to extract as much information as possible about anyone who might eventually be an obstacle to Cosmo Entelecheia's projects, and in her opinion, all members of the three Magi families of Grail War lore, even the Matous, qualified as such.

Plus, the homunculus' claim of controlling Heracles himself greatly interested Sextum. She was sure at least one of the members of the Council they had allied themselves with would be quite invested in a confirmation or denial on the subject.

He was as fast as he was strong, that was obvious on a first impression. Despite his overwhelming size, he had charged her like a living whirlwind, and it actually took her some effort to dodge out of his way in time.

As she kept on disappearing and reappearing all over the battlefield to avoid him, greatly impressing Springfield's allies, she noticed he kept up with her speed just fine, and despite his roaring brutality and clearly diminished brainpower, he could even predict where she'd appear next at times, more than once almost bashing her face in with his blunt instrument.

The huge sword made of rock, you perverts.

The ACTUAL sword made of rock!

She still had a slight edge in speed, however, and she used that plus her smaller size and mass to find an opening in his abdominal area, kicking him with both feet and finding out she was only inconveniencing him and damaging her shoes. There was no growl of pain, no violent puking of blood, and he didn't even back away on his thick heels. For the first time ever, she was experiencing the meaning of the old sentence 'like hitting a brick wall'.

Sextum, who liked learning new things a lot, smiled faintly to herself.

"Berserker...!" the Einzbern whined impatiently. "Stop playing with her already!"

Instantly, the Servant began redoubling the ferocity and agility of his strikes, growling madly as he batted at Sextum, forcing her to block with her forearms and learn that the brute's club smashes actually caused her a moderate amount of pain. No doubt, that was indeed the capacity of a legendary hero. This data could be very useful after all.

Of course, its usefulness would only be proven if the Servant survived their battle. Otherwise, it would be a moot point.

It was time for the next part of the test.

Slamming her hands together, Sextum produced a wide, multi-directional barrage of ice arrows that impacted on Berserker's wide chest, hitting several points and quickly freezing them solid. No matter how fast he was, his sheer mass and height still made him all too big a target.

However, while a normal human being would have been instantly fully frozen, and even a high ranking mage or magus would have been covered in ice over minutes at most, this Servant kept on fighting, the ice not expanding on his torso, only the impacted areas still encased by it. Which made sense; all Servants were, to a lesser or bigger degree, far more enduring to magic than mortal beings. Even those without a specific Anti-Magic skill or buff were still difficult to damage through magical means, and if this was the actual Heracles, he was of divine origins. It would take someone like the Mage of the Beginning herself to put that sad beast out of his misery.

As Sextum quickly pondered that and considered taking her leave now she had collected a decent amount of data, however, the Berserker surprised her, grabbing her by an arm and twisting it. In that single snap, efficient and savage at once, Sextum felt her bones up to the shoulder shattering. The increased sensory experience was something new, close only to a few of the training simulations pitting her against Tertium and Quintum at once. She didn't cry or scream, simply regarded the newfound capacity for pain with curious analysis.

Then the monster pulled, ripping the arm out of its socket as the anthropomorphic mouse and the human females yelled in shock, and she knew she should be going already.

With a kick to his midsection, Sextum took Berserker by surprise, long enough as to snatch her arm from his huge hand, holding it as she gained altitude, forming a small platform of compressed water created from the air's H2O particles under each foot.

Politely, she bowed down towards Illya and Berserker. "Thank you. This has been quite the enlightening encounter. However, I have really pressing matters to attend to at the moment. I would wish you good luck with the Grail War if this world were doomed to perish shortly in any case. But, may you suffer a swift and painless death," she said, as this was the best she could wish them before vanishing away in a sudden burst of the unexplainable water surrounding her, then falling in the form of a small, cold and short rain over them.

Berserker roared, spreading his arms openwide as Illya flicked her hair back and chuckled. "Feh! Out of all the excuses I've ever heard for fleeing a fight, that was the worst ever!"

Then she deviously turned back, smiling and facing the stunned, immobilized Mickey, Nodoka, Yue, Kero, Akira, Shiho, Minako and Artemis. "Now, where does that leave us...? Oh, yes, since we couldn't kill her yet, why let all that perfect killing intent go to waste? Berserker! Kill—"

"Wait!" Yue raised a hand.

Illya frowned. "Why should I wait? Wait for what? I hate waiting. And I don't need to waiting for anything, I'm rich!"

Yue sighed. "If I understand your erratic motive rant correctly, you only want to find your brothers and... 'punish' them, right?"

"And—!" Illya began.

"Yes, yes, and punish us as well because we're with them, and all that," Yue interrupted while Nodoka and the others gave her really nervous glances. "But, killing us here and now won't get you anything. Will it? Think about it. Not only will the impact be much bigger if you kill us before Negi-sensei's own eyes, but you won't be any closer to finding him in the first place."

"I could just go to his apartment," Illya frowned. "I'm not dumb, you know. I can just ask anyone around for his add—"

Again, Yue dared to interrupt her with noticeable cold blood, while her allies sweated bullets. "Do you really think he'll be there while Mahora burns? And that's assuming he's still in Mahora at all."

She pointed at the spot where Evangeline's cabin had been, making Illya look back at it over her shoulder, frowning. "That," Yue said, "is where he and Emiya-san were not too long ago. Separately, none of us could be able to find out what happened to them. But—"

This time it was Illyasviel who bitterly interrupted her. "I don't need you to find out about anything or—"

"Actually, you need this," King Mickey gave a step ahead, holding his Keyblade out, "if you want to stop this insanity long enough to figure out what happened to, ah, your brothers. Don't feel too bad about it, I also have a... difficult relationship with my brother. In any case, this academy, no, this world's destruction won't cease until I've found and locked the gate bringing the Heartless here!"

Illya raised both eyebrows in frustrated confusion. "Explain yourself further!" she figuratively spat out.

* * *

Sitting on the rooftop of a storage warehouse, and quietly ignoring the screams, sirens and people cheerfully looting with cries of "I love looting!" in the distance, Sextum lowered her severed arm, placing it on the still bleeding stump protruding from her shoulder. She began waiting as the healing process started taking its course.

She doubted the children and the ani-man, despite of Berserker's evident raw might, could survive the following events plummeting the world into darkness, although she would not outright discard the possibility either. Springfields had a tendency to surround themselves with people highly capable of survival. As things stood, however, she had not achieved anything but collecting some interesting, but probably useless for now, data. She had failed to locate the Twilight Princess, but if her current guess was correct, she could delegate that onto another of the agents currently deployed elsewhere.

"This is highly troubling for us," a voice said from behind her. "The appearance and intervention of King Mickey was a completely unexpected factor, one that could disrupt the whole of our assignment in this realm. He is to be engaged and neutralized before anything else. When will you be completely operational again?"

Her expression showed no emotion as she turned back, the flesh dangling from her shoulder slowly fusing with that of the pale arm she still held in place under the shredded sleeve. "We don't answer to any of you, and if anything, it would be the other way around. So please spare me such judgment; I find it rather counterproductive to an alliance between equals. And start justifying your inclusion in this advance party by being forthright about the nature of this 'King' you speak of."

The tall, hooded figure clad from head to booted toe in absolute black (with a lot of zippers! Figurative tons of them!) paused for a moment, and although Sextum couldn't see their face in the complete darkness of their cowl, she could feel their displeasure at the way she was answered. "I expected different behavior from a doll," the stranger said.

"I prefer to think of myself as a soldier."

"Soldiers are to obey commands with no questions."

"Yes, indeed. From their superiors, and while you may be allied to mine, you have no official authority over me yet. I refuse to carry on further operations without proper information on what I am supposed to be dealing with."

She rotated the fully regenerated arm in place as the figure stood in silence for a few moments, before speaking again. "The King wields the Keyblade that can close the door bringing the Heartless upon this world. Should he reach it, all we have achieved here so far will be for naught. And we will have to move on to the next planet with the Hearts we need in this solar system."

The stranger pointed up at the tiny red speck of Mars in the nocturnal sky, and Sextum followed their finger with her cold, deadly gaze. "That won't be necessary," she said.

"See that it won't," the stranger replied. "We will only spare your Mundus Magicus as long as Vetus is our prize. Find the mouse and destroy him, before he closes our door."

"I'm going to need help dealing with the Servant and Master he is with at the time, should they strike an alliance. Otherwise, don't fear, for they will destroy him for you."

"I know no hope," the hooded being flatly said, "just as I ignore of all other emotions. So I always prepare for the worst. Fortunately for you, one of our mutual allies happens to be an expert on the subject of the Heroic Spirit who mauled you. I'm sure he will be eager to lend his assistance once the inconvenience has been explained to him..."

* * *

"Okay," Illya folded her arms, Berserker seething and barely holding himself back behind her, his threat always present, "be brief. And make this good."

"Only I, with this," Mickey held the Keyblade up again, "can find and seal the Keyhole that brings the Heartless to this world. Someone, whose identity I don't know yet, has been doing that for weeks now, and every time they do that to a world, a star in my homeworld blinks out of existence. If we don't hurry, the same thing will happen to your world as well!"

"Oh my God!" Akira and Nodoka gasped.

"Wait, why would stars disappear when living beings only can exist on planets, not on the surface of suns?" Shiho asked. "Sir, I doubt the sincerity of your Harmageddon by Shadow Demon story! Unless by 'star' you mean 'any shiny celestial object' but that's not—"

"Shuf uf, Shiho!" Minako scolded her.

Mars held her hands up. "Just saying!"

Illya rolled her eyes. "Okaaaayyyy... and let's suppose I believe you and let you go. Where would that Keyhole that is so important for our survival be, anyway?"

Mickey shrugged. "I have no idea. It could be anywhere in this world..."

"Are you kidding us?!" Kero cried. "Do you have any idea how wide this planet is?! How do you expect finding that hole before the demons destroy everything?! What, is the hole the size of Greenland?!"

"No, actually, it should be just big enough as for the Keyblade to fit," Mickey said, making everybody else pale hideously and start flinching. "Hey, that's not my fault, I didn't make up these rules! Most worlds in our solar system are small enough to be covered quickly, how am I to blame you have such a huge planet?!"

Sailor Venus facepalmed. "We afe so dead. Okay, no, now whaf, faf's not fe way a Sailor Fenshi should fink! We're going fo fearch—"

Illya, scowling, gestured at her to lean down towards her. Minako blinked, then did so, and was pinched in the nose for her trouble.

"OWWW! FAMMIT, WHAF ARE YOU DOING IT HURTS SO MUCH oh oh it's not hurting anymore, healing magic, right," she blushed, pulling back as Illya let go of her nose, scoffing while her fingers still glowed faintly. "Thank you. Anyway, I know enough about dark portals and bringers of demons to guess a few things on this subject! Think about it, this attack came completely out of the blue, right? We didn't get any news through TV demons had started by attacking New York or Moscow or Qurac, so it's a fairly good guess they started with Mahora. And Mahora is an area with powerful magical emanations, likely Hellmouth in waiting, and all around weirdo magnet!"

"That's correct!" Yue almost perked up. "There's a decent chance that hole in the fabric of reality is nearby. Maybe we should start by locating the point of campus where the most shadow demons are gathered?"

Mickey paused and nodded. "That's... very good thinking from you girls. Just be warned, things are sure to be even more dangerous around the Keyhole itself. The highest ranked adversary in the area should be protecting it, and if that person is even stronger than this Sexton girl..."

Sailor Mars grimaced. "There's just no way to win, is there?"

Illya dusted her hands off, smirking. "As long as I have Berserker, there's no way _I_ can lose! Okay, let's make a truce for now! Let's find that stupid hole of yours and Berserker will handle the rest!"

Mickey nodded. "That's the spirit! Oh gosh! I'm glad we've assembled this team, I'm reminded of my own dear friends back at home, down to—!"

Illya gave the other girls an annoyed look. "Maybe we should kill him off and see if any of us can use his Key thing instead? There's something about him that creeps me out. Too cheery!"

* * *

Now, the morning after, all of Ala Alba, plus Aerith-san and that mutt, had been called back to the landing site after being told the repair work on the Gummi ship had been finished.

"I've gotta hand it to you guys, I thought it would take you a whole lot a more time," Misa said, a fist cocked on a hip as she looked at the ship. "That being said, are you REALLY sure it won't explode in mid-flight?"

"There is never a hundred percent chance of succes in any venue of exploration," Gadget shrugged. "But it should work at least as well as before."

"Even if it explodes, it won't take this planetoid away with itself!" Lala peppily said. "I made sure of installing a functional absorber of exploding kinetic energy in the motors to minimize the damage to the surroundings! At worst, it'll only raze an area around the size of a headball stadium!"

"... that's not a very reassuring thing to say," Sakurako said.

"Do you want full reassurance or full sincerity?" Gadget asked this time.

"Considering how you guys CRASHED here, saying it'll work 'as well as before' is far from being a sterling endorsement," Misora frowned.

"Allow me to clarify that," Skuld said. "This spaceship worked based on a neuro-absorbtion empathic web, linking the crew's emotional and mental activity to the energy core and propellers. However, the emotional state of Hackwrench-san's crewmates at the time of their arrival here was far from the optimal parameters the ship had been programmed to meet, and that caused a crippling power shut-down that greatly affected its functioning. Hence, they plummeted down, and the further down they went, the lesser their chances to stabilize their required thought patterns, until direct contact with the planet was a dire and unavoidable event."

"Meaning?" Asuna asked.

Skuld sighed. "Happy thoughts powered the ship. The crew was worried, they couldn't keep on having happy thoughts. The ship fell, went BOOM."

"You should have explained it that way from the start, Sku-chan," Makie said.

"Well, then we're screwed," Yuuna said. "Unless we send Sakurako-chan, Maki-chan and Konoka-chan on all flights, I doubt this thing will be able to ever lift off at all."

"Now that you mention it... we could use a few more members with sunny attitudes, couldn't we?" Asuna wondered.

"I have no idea what are you talking about," Haruka argued. "I constantously keep a bright, never-say-die attitude towards everything!"

"You're only 'never say die' because you don't know how to spell it..." Skuld muttered under her breath.

Yuuna rasped. "How's Kikukawa-sempai doing, by the way, Vice Prez-sempai?"

Haruka blinked, wide eyed, before retreating several steps away to support herself against a tree, her back to everyone, dark swirls of misery spinning around her. "Yukino... I failed to protectorate you... who knows if you're still alive... all my fault...!"

"That was very cruel," Negi opined.

"Indeed! Please, Akashi-san!" Ayaka said. "I admire how you've handled your separation from your father better than how the Vice President has managed her own trauma, but that doesn't give you the right to—!"

By now, however, Yuuna was standing against the tree next to Haruka's, quietly sobbing while turning her back to everyone. "Did you have to remind me...?! Daddy! I'm sorry, Daddy, I forgive you for keeping very important, life-changing stuff secret from me...!"

Ai sighed. "I'm sorry I'm a pathetic, useless sack of existential miseries as well. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!"

"While we waste our time here, the other Masters are no doubt winning the Grail War, probably triggering a cursed Grail..." Saber somberly said. "And taken away from the World Tree, how long before Shirou's prana is unable to sustain me anymore? Truly, this is the worst possible way to lose..."

"I'm sorry! I'm a failure both as a Master and as a Hero of Justice!" Shirou lamented, angrily at himself.

"Hey, what about me?" Haruna protested. "You can say a lot of things about me, but not that I'm not one to keep a positive attitude towards life!"

"Are you really sure Yue-san, Nodoka-san and Rito-sempai are still okay as we talk, Saotome-san?" Skuld pointedly asked.

"Of course I have faith! That won't work on me, Skuld-chan!"

"Do they have to be good happy thoughts, or evil happy thoughts count as well?" Aerith asked Gadget.

"Gah!" went Haruna. "You're thinking of me as evil already?! We just met!"

Aerith stared at her. "Somebody should have sawed your hands off at birth."

"Oh!" Satomi said. "You two slept together last night, I assume?"

"I should have known there was a reason nobody else but Miss Lala wanted to share a bed or sleeping bag with her!" Aerith's right eyebrow began twitching. Now Hakase did realize the huge, thick bags under the young woman's eyes, as well. And that Haruna had a black eye herself.

"I regret nothing," Haruna stoically said, fingers flexing in and out as if squeezing something imaginary.

"I thought you were going to warn her?" Chisame asked Ayaka. "You're our Iinchou, after all."

"That's while we're in the classroom!" protested the heiress. "While on Ala Alba business, you are the field leader, or did you already forget?"

"Girls, girls," Gadget waved a hand. "There's no point on fighting over that anymore! You'll see, Mr. Cid, Miss Skuld, the pink haired beast, Professor Hakase and I have reworked the Gummi ship's circuitry so it can access to a wide variety of different emotional settings for their energy source. After discussing the specifications of your party, we have decided to settle the default to 'Doubt and Angst'."

"So I should be the designated driver from here on?" Itoshiki asked. "It seems reasonable, since I'm one of the only three of us with a driver's license. Don't worry, I won't even try to run the ship into a sun or asteroid field unless I happen to be the sole person inside it at the time..."

"Actually, until we've tested the engines further, you are forbidden from entering the ship," Skuld told him. "You might overload it and make it explode."

"Ah!" Nozomu gasped. "Could this be... the dreaded 'You're too good at it' effect?!"

"Excuse me?" Sora blinked.

"The 'You're too good at it' effect!" the teacher repeated. "It's what happens when society labels you too effective at something to take care of it yourself! In our harsh modern world, it keeps happening with despairing growing frequency!"

 _You are too good a debater; no one will want to debate against you anymore. That means there'll be no debate left to be had for you._

 _You have been too good an actor to deceive and manipulate those around you. You end up unsure yourself of when you are being sincere or not._

 _You excel at being a Crack Writer. No one will take you for a serious author anymore._

 _You have become an excellent comedian. You can't speak at a friend's funeral without everyone breaking into laughter; other comedians will know they'll be overshadowed when performing with you; even when you are trying to actually convey a point, people will think they're just missing the point of your joke, and laugh at you._

 _You are too good a runner; they will suspect, find out you were running doped._

"I'M IN DESPAIR!" Itoshiki tossed his hands up. "Being too good at Despair has left me in Despair!"

"... I'm never thinking of Cloud as angsty again," Cid decided.

"Okay, then," Keiichi looked up at the ship, "this is still fairly small, though, so how many passengers and crew can it take at a time?"

"It never was designed to hold a lot of human-sized passengers," Gadget said, "and other than Captain Goofy, everyone who was supposed to ever travel in it was fairly shorter than your average height. Now, for the maiden trip of the updated version, I would suggest only three of you..."

"So few?" Ayaka asked. "Why? It looks like it could fit a few more."

"It makes sense," Itoshiki said. "In the event of a fiery crash or engine failure in the middle of the cold vacuum of outer space, it's better if our losses are as scarce as possible. Are you sure I can't go?"

"Shut up," Cid told him.

"Yes sir."

"I have a B ranked Riding skill," Saber offered. "Even if it happens to be a flying vehicle, I should be able to command-"

"I'll go!" Negi offered.

"But, you're only a child!" Aerith argued. "That's out of the question... right?" she looked at the assembled Ala Alba.

They all shiftily looked away, every last one avoiding an outright answer.

Somewhere, a cricket chirped.

Gadget looked around. "Jiminy?"

Itoshiki spoke again at last. "I suppose you could say, if this were an action and adventure story, Negi-sensei would be our protagonist. Nominally, he is the leader of Ala Alba, much like his father was to the previous Ala Rubra, even if Hasegawa-kun and Suzushiro-kun take pretty much all decisions, much like Negi's mother used to take most for Ala Rubra whenever she was present..."

"My mother?" Negi blinked. What did mothers have to do with anything? They weren't very important, otherwise Father would have said so...

"I have said too much, to my shame and disgrace," Itoshiki said, wandering around with some rope towards a tree.

"Okay... Anyway, we're looking for MY father, so I'll go!" Negi put his foot down.

"This is one of the few things where he will always put his foot down," Chisame dryly informed the otherworlders.

"My father fuels my drive !" Negi proclaimed, a fist to the skies. "For him, I would go against anything or anyone's wishes in a way that is not creepy at all no matter what anyone might tell you!"

"Our talks with him on the subject have been sadly in vain so far," Ayaka said, wiping at the corner of an eye with a handkerchief.

"Okay, I can understand it being an important subject for you, but maybe you should trust your elders to look for him, and wait until..." Aerith tried to reasonably negotiate with him.

Negi, eyes now burning, aimed his staff towards the Gummi ship.

"You are not," Gadget bluntly said, "threatening to blow up my King's prized ship, the pride and joy of my achievements as a mechanic, if we don't let you go, are you?"

Negi, after a very long and tense silence, said, "... No. Of course not. That would be... wrong."

But he still didn't lower the staff.

Silence.

Silence.

More silence.

Aerith laughed, with a drop of sweat on a side of her face. "Ah ha ha ha! What an admirable, brave dream, Professor! Well, then I wish you the best of lucks in this absolutely necessary quest of yours to become a real man!"

"... fucking weirdos," Cid grumbled lowly, then raised his voice. "Okay, who'll go babysit the kid then?"

"Why, of course, I'll—!" all of Negi's Ministra but Satomi, who was just scanning the skies with a miniature device obsessively muttering something about Chachamaru, said at once. Then they looked at each other.

Massive Catfight Ensued.

"Don't fight, don't fight!" Negi said. "I should go alone after all! I won't endanger anyone, I'm sure I can learn how to fly—!"

The Masive Catfight's eyes all turned towards him, then it engulfed him into it as well with several accusations of useless martyr syndrome and boyish stupidity. Shirou, with unusual wisdom, chose to stand aside feigning obliviousness in the meanwhile.

* * *

"... okay, I'll admit that was sorta nice to see," Cid admitted a while later, sitting next to a blank-faced Aerith, Pluto and Gadget, as the Ala Alba girls finally sat down to settle an agreement.

"All right," Chisame grunted. "So this is what we'll do. You'll need someone to help the mouse with the controls, since she's, you know, mouse-sized."

"That's never stopped me before," Gadget said, "I always have been perfectly able to pilot on my own and—"

"I can't hear you from there, you're too small, your voice is too small!" Chisame said, adding 'Sizism' to the already long list of -isms she was -ist over. "And even if she could do it on her own, you might run into some situations that would call for a bright scientic mind in the usual weird sci-fi and fantasy crap! And since Hakase's going to be too busy looking for Chachamaru, you'll have to suffice, Skuld-san!"

"Chachamaru! Chachamaruuuuu!" Satomi cried. "Can't you see your absence is placing great emotional distress upon your mommy?! I don't like emotional distress! It feels... bad!"

"... so I'm your second pick," Skuld coldly said. "After _that_."

"I'm serious," Saber insisted, "I'm quite sure I can pilot that aircraft. I am-"

"Saber-san, thank you, but you're from like centuries ago, remember?" Sakurako sweetly said. "There's no way you could know the first thing on flying space shuttles, and there's nothing shameful about that."

"That doesn't have anything to do with this!" the Servant protested. "I am perfectly capable with modern machinery, just give a motorcycle and I'll show you-"

"I can fly it!" Lala eagerly offered herself, cutting Saber's own offer short. "Granted, normally others, like Zastin, would pilot my vessels for me, but I have a simulator success rate of at least 35%!"

"And," Chisame added, interrupting Lala in turn, "since they might run into more magical crap as well, Kagurazaka will tag along! Her anti-magic works the best against those Heartless things, and she's our best fighter after Sakurazaki, who just won't go without Konoe, Lala-sempai, who won't go without Perverted Beast-sempai, and Saber-san, who won't go without Emiya-sempai!"

Setsuna nodded. Lala pouted. Saber just looked aside clearly displeased.

"Awww, can't Setchan and I go at the same time?" Konoka pouted. "If lack of room is a problem, I could sit on her lap...!"

Setsuna began blowing steam out of her ears, and she stuttered, "C-C-Come to think about it, Negi-sensei might need Ojou-sama's healing powers..."

Makie began counting with her fingers in silence, then pouted. "Awwww, so I can't go with Negi-kun? That's unfair...!"

"Are you sure, Field Commander," Ayaka strainedly asked Chisame, "I shouldn't go instead of Asuna-san? Not only I'm a better thinker, but surely Asuna-san lacks the personal motivation to stick closely to Negi-sensei's side..."

Chisame nodded. "And that is why she'll also lack the personal motivation to let herself get distracted by being all but alone with Negi away from the others. I mean, be honest with yourselves!" she addressed her classmates. "Other than Kagurazaka, Lala-san and Saber-san (who won't be going), Skuld-san and me, can you see any of us NOT trying to take advantage of it to fool around with him?!"

Saber tossed her hands up, turned around, and began walking back to the town. "Suit yourselves, then!"

Lala pouted deeply. "But, but I wanted to research new alien worlds and indoctrinate them on the everlasting glory of the Deviluke!"

Madoka frowned. "Why am I included in the Shotacon wagon now? Just because I kissed him only once?"

"Fool around?" Negi repeated.

Misa grunted and dragged a foot around. "You MIGHT have some sort of point there, but...!"

"Why are you including yourself there with Skuld-san, Lala-san, Saber-san and me?" Asuna asked. "Just because you're in denial, that doesn't mean you are any less of a—"

"I didn't hear that, and you didn't say it!" Chisame snapped. "Anyway, there's somebody else who should go with you guys! The ermine!"

Chamo perked up. "Holy mole! You remembered I exist WITHOUT stomping down on me!"

"Well, yeah, savour it as long as you can," Chisame grumbled in disgust. "Everybody knows what happens every time Negi gets into a jam, right?"

"You yell a lot at him, then at the rest of us?" Misora snarked.

"Har-har, that was so clever," Chisame snarked back. "No, as we know, whenever that happens, Chamo will propose to the nearest girl at hand, they'll have a Pactio, and the Pactio will help to save the day. I don't like it any more than you do, but you are all aware that's how it works."

Chamo's eyes began leaking waterfalls. "Dear sister! You've finally understood, I'm so glad I could kiss y—"

"DON'T TRY ME!" Chisame punted him into the sky.

"... Chamo-kun!" Negi gasped on cue.

"OBJECTION!" Ayaka vigorously pointed at Chisame, her eyes twin blue flames. "Chisame-san, how can you do this?! Setting our poor and innocent Negi-sensei into a path of vice, by suggesting Chamo-san to set him up with girls we don't even know anything about!"

"Let's put it this way," Chisame calmly said. "Before being forcefully brought into closer contact with you guys, Hakase and I didn't really know any of you either, right?"

"In a way," Ayaka admitted, "but what does that have to do with..."

"Well, it has happened to us thirteen times ever since," Chisame pointed at Ayaka herself, Sora, Haruka, Yuuna, Haruna, Misora, Misa, Sakurako, Asuna, Konoka, Setsuna, Cocone and Madoka. "And do we complain about it? Too much?"

"Well, Sato-chi doesn't," Haruna conceded.

A wounded Sora pointed to her own chest. "I was an 'unknown' to you as well, Chisame-chan?"

"What is my favorite color? My shoe size? My e-mail? My blood type?" Chisame began asking her sister. "My favorite TV show? My three sizes? My hobbies? My temperament? What would I pull out of a burning building?"

Sora began whining and quietly sobbing in a way no one named Sora should ever do in a Kingdom Hearts fanfic.

"I'm sure I won't need to establish any more Pactios," Negi said confidently, "but I'll be glad to take Chamo-kun along either way!"

Again, the girls just stared at him, although this time in a non-violent silence. He just kept on smiling, happily oblivious now he had things mostly his way.

Aerith looked at Sakurako, who sat the closest to her of all the 3-A students. "What's this whole Pactio business they're talking about?"

"Well, you see..."

A few moments later, Chamo landed back on his face on the grass and twitched. "Ow, that was some..." he began to gurgle before a red-faced Aerith slammed a boot down on him, "HEAVY ANIMAL ABUSE!" he cried from under the sole.

* * *

"Are you sure," a nervous Ayaka asked before Negi, Asuna and Skuld went into the Gummi ship for takeoff, with Gadget already sitting at the controls and Chamo setting himself on a seat, "you won't take too long? I mean, in science fiction books, interplanetary travel will often work according to Einstein's principles of relativity, so by the time you come back, I might be an old woman..."

"Don't worry, Iinchou," Asuna dryly said, "I'm sure you'd wait even one hundred years, patiently, for me."

"Don't be ridiculous, Asuna-san! I was talking to Negi-sensei, not you!"

"Are there science fiction books?" Makie asked, shaokced and appaled at the very notion. "I thought science fiction was for movies and anime!"

Haruna flinched. "The science fiction genre was **born** in Literature, Makie-chan."

"But that's absurd! How can you see explosions in a book? That is, you can draw explosions, but it's not the same thing, unless you are the one drawing them, Haruna-chan, but if not..."

"Science fiction is about more than explosions!" Konoka and Haruna cried fiercely, proving they were, in fact, librarians at heart and not just a scheming lesbian and a bisexual mangaka.

"Don't worry, Iinchou-san," Skuld waved a hand. "These ships run on hyperspace loophole principles, so from every viewpoint, travel between wildly separate areas of a galactic conglomerate should only take a few hours or days at most of objective time, depending on the distance. This is an initial scouting flight, so it shouldn't take us long..."

"You had to say it!" Yuuna said it.

"I'm a goddess!" Skuld reminded her. "I don't 'jinx' things by stating them! I bless them!"

"Remember, at least do tell the inhabitants of those worlds Gid Deviluke is a fearsome yet fair ruler and they should be submitting themselves to his might as soon as he arrives for them!" Lala requested.

"... I'm feeling far less confident now than when this conversation started," Ayaka delicately bit on her fingernails.

"Relax, Iinchou-san," Negi delicately patted on one of her hands, making her swoon. "I have the utmost trust in the technical capacities of our engineering team..."

"Chachamaru, Chachamaru, Chachamaru!" Satomi sobbed from where she was hammering on a radar plate she was making for better planetary detection of her creation. "Come back to Mommy!"

"I... guess it's good she's so devoted to her child?" Sakurako said, feeling oddly neglected.

Asuna sighed. "Well, if anything happens to me, at least I'm an orphan, so I won't leave a family behind besides Onee-sama, and she's in another universe, so she'll never find out and feel bad about it. That's why I'm glad you won't be coming yet, Konoka..."

"D-Don't say that, you idiot!" Ayaka yelled. "3-A and Ala Alba should be your family after all we've gone through together! Don't treat our ties as if they were nothing! That's just plain disrespectful, you, you ape!"

"Wait, are you trying to say you like me now?" Asuna asked.

"I said we were like family, what does that have to do with liking each other?" argued the blonde, not unreasonably. "Anyway, you'd better take care of yourself so you can take care of Negi-sensei!"

"Yeah, yeah, whatever..." Asuna replied, muttering. It wasn't like she felt glad to hear Ayaka wanted to be her family or anything! It was merely out of pity, hmph!

* * *

"Wow. I can't believe it actually worked," Yuuna later said, looking up as the Gummi ship disappeared up, up and away into the sunny sky. "Back at home, Skuld can barely start putting something together without filling our room with eight-legged white rabbits."

"Eh?" Misora asked.

Yuuna shrugged. "It's... difficult to explain."

"Negi-senseiiiiii!" Ayaka fell to her knees on the grass, finally breaking down now he was out of sight. "Please come back to me, bringing the stupid violent ape along! So, um, your noble heart isn't broken by your perceived failure at— AAA-AAASUNA-SAAAAAAN! AAAASUNAAAA-SAAAAAANNNN!"

"Iinchou, please, think of your fans at home," Makie shook her head in faint dismay. "See? This is what happens to people who read too much, sci-fi or not. It hurts their minds."

"It doesn't! That has nothing to do with this!" Konoka and Haruna barked. Without Nodoka and Yue around, they felt they needed to more fiercely protect the Librarian Pride, lest people fall into bad habits.

Aerith kept staring at the clear sky. "I have just realized I'm rather superfluous to this story so far."

"That's the story of my life," Sora sadly mused, looking after her.

"The author seemed to forget I was even here," Keiichi said. "This line had to be added by the editor."

They remained in a contemplative silence only broken by Satomi's blowtorch hissing and Ayaka's hysterical bawling over the next few minutes.

"Say," Chisame ended up mumbling, "who's been feeding Pete-san since we left him in the basement, anyway?"

"What do you mean? I thought you'd been doing it!" Misa gasped.

"Me? Since when am I the cooking type? Hell, since when have I been the compassionate type to care about that stuff? Do I look like Yotsuba-san?"

"Shouldn't it have been Aerith-san? It is her house after all," Makie said.

Aerith's eyes became perfectly horizontal slits. "It's our house, but it's not our prison. I never signed up to look after any prisoners, sorry..."

"Konoka-san is the best homemaker of us all," Misora said, "so I was under the impression she'd cook for him..."

"I'd have loved to if I had been allowed to, but nobody gave me the permission to use Aerith-san and Cid-san's provisions, so..." Konoka replied.

"Oh, don't worry about him, he's got reserves of grease to spare," Sakurako said. "And he's the rough military type! No doubt used to the harshest conditions of warfare! How hungry could he have gotten in such a short time?"

* * *

Pete, hands still chained behind his back, kept on chewing on the hard surface around the lockhole of his firmly closed door, thick tears peeking out.

"Eben I'd leaffe muh phisoners wif' some bdead an'd whader!" he cried while gnawing on the tough, ancient wood, and had violent flashbacks to his rough military days.

They'd been right after all. Wood _did_ taste better and _was_ easier to eat than the crap they'd been issued!

* * *

Shirou sighed and rolled his sleeves up. "Alright, alright, I'll do it myself, then. There must be something left in the kitchen I can cook for him..."

* * *

 **To be Continued**.


	8. Tsundere in Wonderland

Akamatsu Ken and Kodansha created and own _Mahou Sensei Negima!_

Reverend Charles Lutwidge Dodgson, better known as Lewis Carroll, created _Alice's Adventures in Wonderland_.

Fujishima Kosuke and Kodansha created and own _Oh my Goddess!_

The Walt Disney Company created and owns _Chip 'n Dale Rescue Rangers_.

We make no money from this fanfiction adaptation of a videogame adaptation of an animated adaptation of Reverend Dodgson's wonderful original.

* * *

 **The Keys of the Kingdom HD 2.8 Final Chapter Prologue Turbo Hyper Champion Edition Gold**.

 **By OverMaster and Shadow Crystal Mage**.

* * *

 **Chapter Six**.

* * *

Somewhere else, far, far away, a blond girl sat under a tree and a sunny sky, along her older sister, who was reading a very thick and boring book with no pictures on it. The younger didn't see what was so fascinating about it, or why her sister's face was always so red when she read it. What could this 'Darkenning' person have written that was so interesting if it had no pictures?

A small, furry white creature passed by before the girls, hopping while looking at a golden watch and lamenting in short, despairing outbursts.

The older girl paid it absolutely no attention whatsoever, fully submerged into her red-faced reading. The younger girl gasped with the awe of sincere youth, and chased after the strange white rabbit, deeper into the grassy fields...

* * *

"This is incredible!" Kagurazaka Asuna gushed, with the awe of sincere youth, as she, Negi and Chamo all stuck their widely grinning faces against one of the windows of the Gummi ship, looking in fascination at the larger than life display of the star-filled boundless extensions around them. "I wish Chizuru-san could see this!"

Then she eagerly reached into her breast pocket and began taking pictures with her cellphone.

Skuld smiled smugly from where she sat next to Gadget not too far away by the ship's control panel. "Do you think that's impressive? You should see the birth of a star, now that's a show to remember."

"I'm rather glad they aren't asking 'Are we there yet?' over and over, like Donald and Goofy did," Gadget said. "Since they're children, I was sure they'd do it too..."

"I'm not a child!" Asuna said, then cooed again, as she, Negi and Chamo pumped their behinds up and down in excitement. "Oooohhhh, that's a comet! It looks so close, too!"

"Somehow, I can't even be worried about the possibility of being hit and killed by one of those!" Chamo marveled.

"They are... cute!" Gadget smiled.

Skuld made a face. "I guess that's one way to describe them... Okay, listen up back there! We're about to enter the orbit of the nearest world, so I want you all on your seats and with you safety belts on two minutes ago!"

"Ah? So soon?" Negi asked, reluctantly pulling his face from the reinforced glass and leaving a contour of sweat shaped like his features on it. "But we just took off!"

"We've been traveling for over a day now!" Skuld said.

"Well, it felt like a very short time," Asuna argued, taking her seat and buckling her safety belt up. Then she took a good look at the fore window and what waited ahead, and she asked, "Wait, isn't that just a chunk of rock floating in space?"

 _"A pastel colored chunk of rock floating in the space,"_ Negi added, just as flabbergasted. "And it's so small... it shouldn't even have the same gravitational pull as the moon!"

"So?" Skuld and Gadget asked at once.

"Well," Chamo asked, "how are we supposed to move across a, let's be generous and call that a planetoid, planetoid with even less gravity than the moon?"

"Oh, for Dad's sake!" Skuld cried. "You of all people getting technical about that? These are worlds running on magic!"

Asuna pouted. "Well, you're a scientist just resorting to say 'It's magic!' and leaving it at that!"

"I'm a Goddess of Science! I'm supposed to be scientifical and magical at once!"

"And then why you can't do any magic whatsoever, huh, huh?"

"Girls..." Negi and Gadget groaned, shaking their heads.

"She started it!" Asuna and Skuld pointed at each other.

* * *

The ship slowly came down in the middle of a flowery field, one covered by very strange looking flowers, many of which seemed to whine and whimper while the space vehicle landed on them. It trembled for a few minutes after touching the ground, until its rattling stopped and a very long, tense silence ensued.

Then one of the side doors went open, and it stayed that way over the next few moments.

"Should we say something special for the occasion?" Asuna asked dubiously, standing before the door. "'This is a small step for a Baka, a huge step for Mahora'? Shouldn't we have brought a flag?"

"Are you sure this environment isn't contaminated by any sort of alien germs?" Negi asked. "Maybe we should send an exploration probe before anything else..."

"You just spent several days in a parallel world that was as alien as this one, and you start worrying about that now?" Skuld snapped. "Just step out already, sheesh! We're on a schedule! A loose one, but still!"

"Actually, they might have a point," Gadget hummed, "We haven't ever been in this particular realm before. Perhaps we should have brought a test animal with us?"

"We have," Asuna said.

A moment later, Chamo was flung out. "ANIMAL ABUSE!" he cried.

"Asuna-san!" Negi yelled.

"Well, maybe you should have thought of bringing the dog around, you genius! At least I'm supposed to be dumb!"

* * *

"I have the nagging feeling we're being watched," Chamo said, trailing behind Negi, Skuld, Gadget and Asuna. The mouse had reassured them it would be okay to leave the ship alone, since they had outfitted it with a powerful security system (after once witnessing the security measures Satomi's lab had and barely escaping them with all of his limbs, Negi felt inclined to believe her). Occasionally, the ermine would cast nervous back glances over his shoulder, making the beautiful flowers with feminine human faces who were intently spying on them from behind to quickly hide said faces between their petals before he could see them. "Don't you?"

"Nope," Asuna shook her head, without looking back.

"We should trust Chamo's instincts, though," Negi said, staff at the ready. "Ermine fairies are gifted with a powerful sixth sense."

"It's a shame that sense isn't common sense," Asuna mumbled. "All right, how does this work anyway? It's like in Star Trek, where even when the Captain was unaware of what was going on, trouble would be waiting for them wherever they were beamed down?"

"It's a very small planetoid, so doing a search shouldn't take us too long," Skuld answered. "Anyway, I doubt the Thousand Master or anybody else of any importance would be stranded in this piece of floating detritus."

"Don't call it that, it's beautiful," Negi said, smiling up at the pastel-blue sky with golden clouds. "You know, somehow, I'm reminded of my childhood just by seeing this, but I have no idea why…"

"There," Gadget pointed ahead, towards a small forest beyond the flower-covered plains they had been scouting. "The odds of finding something hidden increase when there's someplace to actually hide anything in!"

Asuna grunted and her grip on her paper fan tightened. "The odds of finding trouble, you mean. Well, we won't ever achieve anything by just waiting for things to happen, right?"

"Certainly not," Gadget agreed, as Negi led the way into the forest. The boy was startled by looking at the birds perched on the branches of the trees, many of which had strangely shaped beaks reminiscent of honks, hammers or even saws. They came in a wide variety of striking, brilliant colors as well, more proper of birds from tropical climates than those of the apparently European clime of the planetoid. "Golly, now this is interesting," the mouse added, looking up, just like the open-mouthed Asuna and distrustful Skuld. "I wonder if they have Aracuans around these places as well?"

"Chamo, is your ermine sense telling you anything about this?" Asuna asked.

"It's telling me to keep away from the trees," the white animal said, shuddering while staring at the trunks, most of which seemed to have large, sleepy-looking male and female faces carved on their wood, to a surprisingly lifelike impression. "I think they're actually alive, as in, as much and you and me, that is… sentient!"

"How can you know that?" Asuna questioned, right before giving a jump back when, after stepping on a root, the tree she was closest to opened the hole that passed for a mouth on its surface and gave a loud, aggressive howl of warning. "Kya, you're right! What the heck!"

"Oh, I do hope these aren't Ents," Skuld muttered under her breath, mallet prepared. "Not that they're bad, but their lectures are such a drag."

"Ents?" Negi asked. "Those are from Tolkien's literary works, how could they possibly—"

Skuld held a pointer finger up. "Never discard anything as impossible when going through the infinite range of pandimensional trespassing, Negi. Something wrong, Chamo-san?"

The ermine pointed with his nose towards a narrow passageway between the trees. "That wonderful, delightful scent is the same no matter the world! We have a young girl ahead! Thirteen, most likely, Caucasian, in emotional distress judging from her laments…" he added, pointing a paw at one of his perking ears. "Loli in distress!"

"A lady needs our help!" Negi gaped, heading in that direction quickly.

"Whoa, Teach, what if it's a trap?!" Asuna rushed after him. "What will Chisame do to me if you get yourself killed in my watch? And Hakase! Why, even one of her bath-scrubbing robots almost killed me, and it just wanted to wash me…!"

" _ **My**_ robots never do that, by the way," Skuld told Gadget as they and Chamo followed the duo deeper into the woodland.

"What can I say?" Gadget said. "I've never been interested in AI and its applications; I like machines I'm always in full control of…"

* * *

Negi came to a halt before a small clearing, framed by the sunlight that came down filtered through the higher branches, offering an almost bucolic spectacle in the middle of that world's bizarre sense of nature. Where the colors of the flower field had been sharp and overwhelming, and the entrance to the woods had been somber and oppressing, the clearing gave the impression of being a visual breather, reminding Negi even more of his days in Wales. There would be a place, much like that one, where Anya and him often would go to practice magic in private, all the better to master forbidden spells...

It was far more innocent than it probably reads.

A beautiful girl, younger and shorter than Asuna, but older and taller than Negi, sat at the center of that clearing, quietly sobbing to herself on a white silk handkerchief. She was slender and fair skinned, with long, voluminous blond hair and large blue eyes that barely were visible during the brief moments she would stop drying them, quite spoiling the Evangeline-esque look she'd been pulling off so far. As Chamo had said, she should be around twelve or thirteen, Negi calculated as he slowly approached her. She wore a long blue dress with a white apron, tied around her back with a big white bow; her dainty feet were in shiny black Mary Jane shoes and long white socks, and there was a thin black band on her head, with a very small bow on it.

Around the girl sat several of those strange birds that populated the forest, gathered around her in apparent sympathy and silent commiseration; some of them had no heads but oversized reading glasses attached to their bird necks. Some others had two heads, and yet others wore little vests. A few had mirrors instead of eyes, and the bodies of several were birdcages with smaller birds in them. Asuna, who had just arrived as well, cringed in visible discomfort at such unsettling sights, and didn't move past a certain point, even when Skuld, Gadget and Chamo caught up to her.

"Okay, I thought I had seen freaky before," Asuna said, "but this is the freaky to top over everything freaky. Those things just have to be animatronic robots, right? Are we in some sort of alien amusement park?"

"... ah?" the unknown girl, hearing Asuna's words, sat upright, startled when she saw Negi standing so close to her. "Oh! I'm sorry! I didn't mean to—" There she paused, as if to think of something she should be sorry about, and cautiously added, "— spoil your stroll through the woods? With my, my crying?"

The girl stood up, trying to quickly gather an air of composure about herself, quickly wiping the last few tears away before giving the small group a nervous curtsy. Chamo, nose twitching, came closer as well, almost snaking around Negi's feet and looking up and down at her, with sharply sparkling eyes.

Negi swallowed. "Oh! Don't worry, you didn't interrupt anything, is there anything we could help you with, Miss?"

The girl raised her head a little to look intently at his face, small mouth half open in dawning enthusiasm. And she said, "Oh, what a relief! A young English gentleman!"

Negi was taken aback, pleasantly surprised by having someone recognizing him off the bat as an English gentleman instead of a slow, naive brat or a glorified child pet to cuddle and hug to bits. "Ahh, you are from the Isles as well!" he smiled, catching on her slight accent. "It is a pleasure! My name is Negi Springfield!"

"Negi?" the girl repeated, a bit dubiously, as that name didn't sound too English to her ears. Still, as far as that day had been going, this development still was as normal and understandable as they came. Gently touching the edges of her skirt, she gave a single nod towards him. "Enchanted to meet you, Mr. Springfield. My name is Alice Liddell."

"I see. That's a simply lovely name, Miss... Liddell?" Negi's voice slightly cracked at the last word.

Alice blinked. "Would you happen to know of my family?" Because there had been times, while talking to somebody she had just met, the mention of her family, and most especially her father, had quickly distanced those persons from Alice's side, for some reason or another. Her sister had just advised her to not think about those people any more than she absolutely would need to.

After a moment of looking at her in faint, confused disbelief, Negi shook his head slightly. "I just thought... I had read of that name somewhere, long ago. Ahem. Forgive my manners, please. I happen to be a teacher in a school in a faraway land, and these are two of my students, Kagurazaka Asuna and Skuld Jotunsdottir."

"What are they saying? Why are they talking in English?" Asuna asked Skuld. "Because that's English, right?"

"Because she's from England, why else?" the annoyed young goddess asked back. Clearing her throat, she stepped towards Negi and Alice, and bowed as well, although her style was far from humble. "Greetings, young lady. Miss Asuna hails from Japan, and I... I come from Norway. And yes, we are two of Negi's students. What are you doing in this place?"

"I... I don't know, really, that's the problem," Alice confessed. "I just got lost, in a way that even I cannot believe now, and... are you, perhaps, on a class trip?"

Skuld shrugged. "You could say we are..."

That answer was not as clear as Alice would have liked but, once again, it was one of the most straightforward things she had heard all day long, and from comparatively normal people when put next to everyone else she had met recently. Even if, for the average standards of her day-to-day life, they still seemed mighty suspicious.

It would probably illustrate the kind of day she'd been having if we told you that at this point, Itoshiki would have seemed halfway normal to her by now.

She looked curiously at the red-haired girl who didn't seem to understand her at all, catching up on her strange aspect. "So... are you from the Far East? I had been told its denizens were... rather different."

 _"Nani?"_ the strange girl with bells on her head asked. _"Negi-bouzou, wakarimasen!"_

Skuld sighed very loud and harshly. Then she grinned at Alice in a very wide and forced way, intimidating the blonde quite a lot. "You just wait there a little while as I fix a few of the many wrong things with my friend, will you? Professor Negi will keep you company...!"

"Well, of course, you are excused, but I don't even know..."

"Thank you, we won't take long!" Skuld then forcefully grabbed Asuna by an arm and quickly pulled her away, behind a few tall, thick trees that completely hid them from view.

"Hey!" Asuna protested along the way, "Now what's gotten into you, the least you could do for me is translating their speech, I don't like being in the dark...!"

"I'll do something far better than that!" Skuld promised as she all but shoved Asuna out of sight.

Alice stared, dumbfounded, in their general direction for a few moments before smiling nervously at Negi. "W-Well! I must say, I've never heard tell of a teacher who was so young before now. You must be a remarkable person, Professor..." she said awkwardly, not sure of how to address him. The familiarity owed to a small boy, or the respect earned by a cathedratic?

Negi chuckled and rubbed the back of his head. "Oh, I'm just a humble educator who's had a lot of luck, really. I like to think I'm not special; the class I have been blessed with, they are the special ones..."

"Ahhhh! What is that thing, and what are you doing with it?!" Asuna's voice screamed.

"Just be quiet and take it like a woman!" Skuld's voice cried. "If you had bothered to learn your English, I wouldn't have to implant this into you now!"

"Wait, no! NEGI! I'm sure this isn't a proper medical procedure! I'm sure you aren't a doctor either! NEGI!"

Alice had paled visibly now, and her eyes had been reduced to black dots.

Negi made a short mortified whimper and looked at his shoes.

"There! It didn't hurt that much, did it?" Skuld's voice rang triumphally now.

"You dirty girl!" Asuna's voice said, now in perfect Queen's English (as opposed to Canadian English, which had been tainted by heathen France, Australian English, which was literally as far from the Queen's English as possible, American English, which was ALL WRONG, and Internet English, which was not officially a form of English, but rather a delusion used to communicate). "Now I'll never be able to marry! How will I look at Professor Takahata in the eyes ever again? And why didn't you tell me about this earlier? I'd have aced all my language tests!"

"They're good girls, really they are," Negi bland and lamely said.

* * *

"R-Regardless," Negi stuttered a chuckle while a red-faced Asuna walked back, smoothing her skirt down while Skuld whistled innocently, "I think you should start at the beginning, so you'll understand how you arrived here, Miss. What happened last time you were in familiar surroundings?"

"Well," Alice said, finding that petition to be reasonable enough, "I sat by my older sister, near a country home of our father's, and we were under a tree, and she was reading a book…"

"With no pictures at all?" Skuld pointedly guessed.

"Why, yes!" Alice gasped. "How did you know?"

Skuld shrugged. "That's the kind of books older sisters favor." Actually, Belldandy did; Urd's prized books had many illustrations, all right, but of a positively scandalous and licentious nature. Skuld's books had as many technical diagrams as possible.

Alice nodded. "That is very true. So, while we sat there, you wouldn't believe it, but a white rabbit passed by, looking at a golden watch and yelling 'I'm late, I'm late!' Well," she took a fairly casual look towards Gadget, "you are in the company of a mouse in pantaloons, so you probably feel inclined to believe me."

Negi slapped a hand on his face. "Oh, so foolish of me! Sorry, I forgot to introduce you to Miss Gadget Hackwrench, our—"

"Mechanic!" Gadget happily waved at Alice.

After a moment, Alice waved back. "Are you a student of his as well?" Because at this point she felt inclined to accept any possibility about anything.

"No," Skuld and Asuna bluntly said.

"Ah," Alice said. "As I was saying, curiosity gained the best of me, and I followed the rabbit without telling my sister, into a rabbit hole that, in hindsight, should have been a sign for me to stop giving chase. I fell down the rabbit's hole, for a very long while, until I reached a strange room with a single door, a door that was too small for me. But there also was a table, and on the table there was a tiny bottle that read 'Drink me'. By that point I was fairly thirsty, so I drank from it, and wouldn't you believe it! It shrank me to the size of a mouse!"

"Wait, this is starting to remind me of a fairy tale," Asuna said. "Goldilocks, I think…"

Skuld discreetly kicked her on a shin. "Let her continue, Asuna!"

Alice paused again. These fellows seemed to be fairly polite to strangers but rather rude to each other, which was puzzling, because it usually was the other way around, was not it? Then again, this was a backwards world. "I don't think so. I know Goldilocks' story, and it doesn't have any rabbits, I'm afraid. Sadly, while now I was the right size to go through the door, the doorknob, which talked, told me I needed a key…"

"But the key was on the table, and now you were too small to reach it," Skuld said.

"That's exactly what happened!" Alice gasped. "Did it happen to you as well?"

"No, but it's fairly easy to guess. Murphy's Law," Gadget supplied.

"I don't know a lot about laws, I'm sorry," Alice apologized. "I wasn't aware there were laws for such things. At that point I was trapped with no way back or forth, and I started crying. My tears formed a river that dragged me around, pushing past the door, and it brought me into this strange world. Perhaps I have gone insane, and I am imagining all of this, and I am imagining you now…" she shook her head in dismay.

Asuna reached over and patted the poor crazy girl's shoulder. "I don't think you're insane, Alice-chan," she lied, taking pity on her all the same. "What happened later?"

"Isn't that enough for you?" Gadget asked.

"Well, it was not enough for this world," Alice said. "The river dragged me towards a dodo, who was organizing other animals in a race to get themselves dry. I ran with them for a while, but then I saw the white rabbit again and I had to follow him! Because if he knew the way in, then he'd also know the way out, isn't that reasonable?"

"Quite," Gadget nodded.

"But alas, I lost track of the white rabbit again!" Alice lamented. "He's quite a runner, but I suppose that's also logical, with him being a rabbit, even one with a vest and watch. I stumbled into two little odd men who called themselves…"

"Twedledee and Twedledum?" Negi frowned. "That's quite weird, they are from a different book…"

Alice gave him a long look, after which she asked, "You did go the same way I just did, didn't you?"

"You could say we've read some sort of travel guide for this world before arriving here," replied Skuld.

"You have? Oh, then you could help me find the rabbit!" Alice brought her hands together. It didn't escape Skuld's attention she wasn't asking for a direct way back, instead. This girl was weird. Granted, that had been expected.

"I'm afraid," Negi said, "if this is indeed the place we have read about, then maps and guides wouldn't be of much help."

After showing a face of utter disappointment for a moment, Alice nodded again. "That's what the cat I met later told me, in his own way. He just could advice me to go find the Queen of Hearts, and that I could find the rabbit there…"

"NO!" Skuld and Negi cried at once.

"But why not?" Alice asked.

"The Queen of Hearts is evil!" Skuld said. "She has people beheaded over the smallest slights, real or imaginary!"

"She's unpredictable and dangerous!" Negi warned. "Although odds are the King will pardon you behind her back, but still!"

"Oh dear, that sounds just awful," Alice took a hand to her small mouth, "but how will I find the rabbit, then?"

"Guys, are you sure you're getting the fairy tale right?" Asuna asked. "I don't remember any Queen of Hearts in Rumpelsilk—Rumpletstick—the story of the wacky goblin!"

"This isn't Rumplestilking either!" Chamo said.

Alice blinked. "Oh my. The ermine talks too."

"After all you've watched and heard here, does that surprise you?" Skuld asked.

"It's hardly a matter of being surprised anymore," Alice conceded, "but all manners of talking animals I have seen have been wearing some manner of clothes or another. I was given to understood only animals who were, well, animals, would walk around in an unclad state. Should I feel disgusted and appalled, or would you find that offensive?"

"Oh, he's Chamo. We feel disgusted and appalled around him all the time, so don't worry," Asuna smiled.

"I don't! He's my best friend!" Negi claimed.

Chamo looked down at his private parts. "Why the question anyway? Um, they aren't showing through the fur again, are they?"

"So," Alice said then, deciding just to ignore the ermine's comment, which for once trumped everything else that had recently happened to her in terms of wrongness, "what else should I do? How do you think I should find the white rabbit?"

Skuld and Negi looked at each other, then each grabbed Asuna by an arm and quietly dragged her back with them as Skuld discreetly pushed Gadget towards Alice with a foot. "We are going to discuss the subject for a few moments, if that's no bother," Negi gently said, nodding towards the blond girl, who just sat there in further confusion.

"Okay, I'm warning you," Asuna said as she was led out of Alice's sights again, "none of you are going to insert anything else into me, and I mean it," she gestured with her harinsen for emphasis. "This might not be Twilight Onee-chan's sword, but...!"

"What are we going to do?" Negi asked Skuld, his voice low and hissing. "Is she even the real Alice? That's impossible! She's just a storybook character!"

Skuld wagged a finger. "Technically, she's just as storybook character in your original realm. If you choose to adhere to the theory of infinite realities, and even we gods have only disclosed a limited gamut of them, then it's entirely possible for worlds to exist where the parameters of reality simply happen to coincide with those of your fictional stories."

Asuna patted herself on the bum. "This thing must be failing already, because I'm not understanding a word of what you're saying. Wouldn't it have made more sense to stick it into my head?"

"Sure, as long as you don't mind brain damage if I had failed at the insertion in such an area, and in an operation theater far from optimal requirements," Skuld grunted. "Worst case scenario in THIS event, you just can't sit down for a week..."

"Aheemmm..." Negi coughed into a fist, cheeks flushed, "Okay, let's accept for a moment this is a girl who just happens to be in the same circumstances as the Alice I have read of. Even assuming those overwhelming odds simply happened to fall into place..."

"This world's very presence here, in closeness with our group's own displacement, might be related to its synchronization with our memories of such a world existing at all, even if only in our imaginations," Skuld postulated as she rubbed her chin. "Sister Belldandy always had these theories about the power of human faith and spirit..."

"... even assuming that," Negi gestured with both hands, nerves mounting up, "how can we possibly send her back without placing her in danger? The story just ends when Alice wakes up! But obviously, doing that isn't an option for us!"

"Really? I was under the impression the story that sorta went like this ended up when the Prince kissed the Alice girl and they married, of course, not like we have a Prince at hand..." Asuna mused.

"That's not this story either!" Negi and Skuld snapped at once.

Asuna grunted. "Well, excuse me for moving past kiddy fare long ago!"

"Listen, Negi," Skuld told him, now ignoring Asuna. "Weren't you the one pushing obsessively for clues to your father's whereabouts, and little else? No matter who's this Alice, it's obvious she can't help us there. Let's leave her to her own devices; if she's actually intended to follow the same course of events, things will work out for her somehow..."

"I just hope it doesn't end with her waking up and finding out she's been dreaming us the whole time," Chamo, who had silently sneaked in close a few paragraphs of squabbling ago, sounded really concerned now.

"But Skuld-san," Negi told the goddess, "you also tried to steer her away from the evil Queen! How can we leave a lost, defenseless girl all alone like this? It's just plain wrong and cruel! And my father would be disgusted! Everybody back at home, too!"

"Chachazero-chan would love it, actually," Chamo piped in.

"Think about it, Negi!" Skuld argued. "You said it yourself, there's no way we can know how to send her back in a solid, real sense of the term! It's not like Carroll left detailed, exact maps of his Wonderland! We don't even know for sure if—"

"I'm late, I'm late, I'm late!" cried the small and slightly chubby white-furred creature now hopping past them, oblivious to all of them and just staring fixedly at the golden watch in one of his paws. "Oh my whiskers and ears, the Queen will be mad for sure!"

"..." Skuld said.

"...!" Negi said.

"...?" Chamo said.

"You know, the direct gaze at the stars was great and everything," Asuna said, "but if you're ever doing this again, Chisame can take my spot."

Negi, after shaking the shock off himself, dashed after the rabbit, who naturally was racing towards where they had left Alice and Gadget. "Mr. Rabbit, wait! Just a second, please, we have to—!"

"Ahhh!" Alice said a moment later, voice gaining newfound added life. "Professor Springfield! You're such a helper! You have brought Mr. Rabbit to me!"

"This is not turning out okay at all," Negi decided.

* * *

When Asuna stopped behind Negi and Skuld, she could see the rabbit, which barely rose above Alice's knees even while standing as straight as he could on his hind legs, had quickly gone from shock and confusion to livid outrage at confronting the girl.

"Why, Mary Ann!" he shouted, angrily waving a paw at the suddenly stunned blonde. "What are you doing here, at this time of the day? Slacking away on your duties while I'm plagued by such, such dire predicaments! Look!" he held both naked paws before her. "I forgot my gloves! No; _you_ forgot my gloves! Do you know what the Queen will do to me if she sees me, without gloves, in her presence? I'll lose my head! Oh, woe, woe me!" the small animal sobbed frantically.

"E-Excuse me, Mister Rabbit?" the girl stammered. "I'm afraid you mistake me for someone else. I don't even know anyone named Mary Ann, my name is Alice…"

"I don't want to hear excuses, Mary Ann!" the rabbit waved his paws at her. "Stop playing with your friends and go fetch my gloves! You know where I'll be! And I'm late to be there, by the way!" he gasped exaggeratedly, looking again at the time. "Late, late!" he began hopping away again.

"Mister, I told you to wait for me, please!" Negi started to run after him once more. "This won't take any long! We just want to ask you something!"

The rabbit looked back over his shoulder at the stranger who gave him such close chase. "Who are you, lad? Mary Ann's boyfriend? Mary Ann is too young, and so are you! Harumph! She'll hear about this, and I'll tell the Queen as well! I don't have any second to spare for you, because I'm late!" he redoubled the pace of his hops.

Negi was truly shocked he could move so fast; he had been training and increasing his speed at Evangeline's resort over several weeks now, and yet this tiny being kept a comfortable advantage over him with nothing but seemingly clumsy bounds that covered deceiving lengths of ground each. Negi grunted, aimed his staff at his own feet, and muttered a spell, which doubled his speed and allowed him to close the gap between them in no time. "She just told you, her name's Alice! And I'm no one's boyfriend! My name is Negi, have you ever heard about a man named the Thousand Master?"

"The Thousand Master!" the rabbit gasped. "What are you talking about, lad? The Queen is our only master around these places, and she holds sway over far more than one thousand! If she hears you, she'll have your head! Stop saying nonsense and help Mary Ann with my gloves!"

And he ran away even faster now, leaving a gulping Negi in his trail of dust, powerless to reach the diminutive creature who had outrun him without any apparent effort. "I wish Misora-san would be here…" Negi quietly mused, stopping now he saw the chase was over. For the time being, at least.

After several moments, a panting Asuna caught up to him, with an even more strained Alice, Skuld, Gadget and Chamo arriving even later. "Dammit, that thing is fast!" Asuna supported herself on a hand against a tree. "I'm the class' second best sprinter, and yet that critter… Wow!"

"What will we do now, Professor?" Alice asked. "He won't even talk to me! Why, he won't even listen to what I have to say!"

Negi sat down on a rock, which quickly shook him off itself to reveal it was a turtle, which stomped away on firm, sturdy legs and lifting its nose petulantly. Then he felt another rock around before sitting on it instead. "Well, I suppose we could bring you with us, and see if we can send you home when we find our own way back, but…"

Then the sounds of merry, yet unsteady and deranged, sounds of distant singing drifted in from the darker further depths of the forest. Alice perked up. "That sounds like some sort of social gathering!" she said. "Perhaps we could find someone who knows the way back there!"

"I don't think that's a very—" Skuld began to say, then sighed. "Never mind. Let's get over with this as fast as we can."

"You sound," Alice said, giving her a suspecting glare, "like you actually know what we will find there."

"I might have a vague idea," Skuld allowed, leading the way down the tight path leading to the source of the chanting, "but what's the difference? It's your story, not ours, and you must fulfill it whether we're here or not…"

"What does she mean with that?" Alice asked the others.

"She's a determinist. Fatalist, even," Chamo explained.

"Ahhh…"

After a couple minutes of treading carefully between trees that seemed to throw them stern looks of disapproval from their foliage and the quirks and carvings of their trunks, the small party reached another, much wider and better lit up clearing, trimmed exquisitely like a proper English garden of times long gone. It was framed by several bushes shaped like fabulous animals of legend, and at the centre of it, there was a huge table, most of its seats empty but three. A crawl ran up Negi's spine.

The scene looked straight out of a John Tenniel illustration. There you could see the small Dormouse, quietly snoring with his face resting next to a cup of steaming tea. At his side, there was the colorfully dressed humanoid brown Hare, a fair tad taller than the minuscule rabbit, licking his lips and whiskers absently between avid slurps from his own cup, breaking into rapid and insane laughter at random intervals.

And then there was the short man sitting at the head of the table. That was what unnerved Negi, Asuna and Skuld. For, while the man looked straight out of a storybook drawing, he also was unmistakably someone they had seen before. Even in the familiar context of those circumstances, there was no mistaking him; for he was not the figure he had chosen to meticulously copy and imitate; he was…

"Jervis Tetch!" Negi gasped.

The bucktoothed man lifted his perverse, glinting glare from his tea and smiled widely at the boy. "Why," he said, "but what do we have here, now? But if it's the Red Queen's main enemy! Her most hated adversary! Such a surprise gift; maybe it is my birthday after all. And even better…"

His eyes traveled to the intimidated Alice, resting adoringly on her, and he sighed, sniffing thick tears back. His hands trembled. This was the moment he had waited for ever since his rebirth from a gray, average person into the embodiment of his personal fantasy; this was the culmination of the role that had consumed him, changing him irrevocably; this was his strange, cherished moment of glory, being face to face with someone who was not a simple blond co-worker who happened to share that name, not a nearly forgotten Jezebel who had chosen a simple, unremarkable man with no sense of whim and wonder over him; someone who was nothing of that, but the real incarnation of the spirit of Wonderland.

"… you have even brought Alice to us!" the Mad Hatter sighed, as deeply moved as a man can ever be.

* * *

 **To be Continued**.


	9. Underworld Unleashed

Other people created and, in the case of those that haven't fallen into the public domain yet, own these characters and franchises. So we didn't and don't, respectively.

We make no money whatsoever from this amateur writing.

* * *

 **The Keys of the Kingdom HD 2.8 Final Chapter Prologue Turbo Hyper Champion Edition Gold**.

 **By OverMaster and Shadow Crystal Mage**.

* * *

 **Chapter Seven**.

* * *

 _Mahora:_

"You won't touch her. She's under my protection now."

Shiomiya Shiori, junior librarian at The Island, was not a member of the Library Exploration Club. While her greatest passion in life was books, what she liked about being surrounded by them was the peace and quiet reading brought. Actually adventuring into the depths for more volumes, no matter how tempting the prize, was just too much for her.

While Saotome, Konoe, Ayase and Miyazaki were her juniors, she had never been as bold as them, and always remained behind, quietly organizing what the Explorers brought from their trips, categorizing and filing it, doing her best to stay away from trouble.

Only now, trouble had come right to her, as she walked out of her night shift and began making her way back to the dorms. There, she had been ambushed and surrounded by strange creatures out of a horror novel, crawling and leaping out of the boulevard's shadows, giggling and gurgling and hissing as they came closer, and closer, until...

"You won't touch her. She's under my protection now."

That was exactly what Shiori had heard right then, even before realizing that other girl had just dropped to her feet between her and the impossible creatures. Brown skin, light silver hair, and now Shiori looked up from where she had cuddled into a ball on the ground, she could see there were strange markings on the girl's stoic face, as well.

After a moment of doubt, as if recognizing the newcomer for what she was, the Heartless charged forward. The girl barely flinched, but her hands changed, long, sharp claws like blades jumping off each finger. She moved her arms in a circular fashion, with smooth and fluid grace; and while Shiori shrieked in terror and fainted, the shredded remains of the monsters went down slowly, turning into dust that the nocturnal breeze softly blew away.

And then, a voice that was much more human, but no less threatening, than those of the Heartless spoke from the darkness.

"Huh. It really must be the end of the world. Who'd have thought you get so attached to the infinite little meatbags, Poyo honey. Does your mom know about this?"

"I always was looking towards their interests, poyo," she coolly replied, lowering her claws but remaining just as battle-ready all the same. "Why would this surprise you now, poyo?"

"Yeah, but you only used to care about the big picture, not the little details, Poyo" the voice chuckled roguishly, as greenish smoke began to slowly swirl around her. Still on edge, Poyo allowed a corner of her mouth to move slightly aside, which was as far as her emotions would allow themselves to be expressed. "Losing cute little Zazie's must have hit you harder than I thought, poor Poyo. If only there was somebody who could do something about it for you, Poyo honey..."

"So, is this your handwork, poyo?" she asked. "It's very unusual for you to ever show up in person, poyo. And stop taking my schnicht, poyo. Ending sentences with -poyo is my thing, poyo."

"Hah, funny! Well, I didn't want to, but I just had to come up when I heard the boundaries between realms were cracking around my favorite remaining sixth-degree niece," the shape now vaguely visible between the shadows pondered ominously, tapping with two long, bony fingers on an elongated, grayish chin. "Who could have ever caused something that awful, I wonder?"

Poyo Rainyday picked up Shiori's limp body in her arms. "Uncle, poyo. I'm not in the mood right now, poyo. If you and my mother are scheming something, please have the decency to leave Mahora out of it, poyo. And don't tease me about my sister, poyo. We both know you'd never do anything for her, poyo."

"No. But I'd do it for you. Assuming, of course, you would do something for your dear uncle and a few of his friends first. Come on? Whattadya say? _Let's make a deal..._ "

Grinning like a shark, the figure that towered above her finally stepped close enough as to be within reach. His green eyes flaming as much as the fire that passed for the hair on his head.

He gestured with one of those large hands with nails as sharp as talons, and opened one of those portals Poyo had just never been able to master, no matter how much she tried.

"But why don't we discuss that at my place?" he asked her.

* * *

Murakami Natsumi shuddered and hugged her legs tightly after lowering her cellphone with a defeated expression. "It's useless," she moodily lamented. "No matter what, I can't contact Mom or Dad, or Uncle Freddy and Auntie Daph. Can you, Chizu-nee?"

The much taller and bustier girl sitting by her side on the floor of Haruna and Ku Fei's room shook her head after her latest own pointless try with her phone. "I'm afraid I haven't had any luck with Father either. Nagase-san," Naba Chizuru added, looking towards the corner where the tall, athletic Nagase Kaede stood, talking in hushed tones through her respective phone, "I assume you were successful in contacting Tatsumiya-san after all?"

"Please wait a sec de gozaru," Kaede spoke to the person she had been talking to before nodding in the other girls' direction, making Natsumi sigh in relief. "That's right, Naba-dono, it seems short range calls still work. This one's rival was tending to her family shrine, and has holed herself up there holding back the few demons that have made it that far into the woods."

Them without missing a beat, she offhandedly backhanded the closed window, dislodging a tiny Heartless that had just clung onto it from the outside, in answer to its own frantic bashes and claw slashes. The small ugly creature lost its balance and dropped to the ground two stories down, even as Fuuka and Fumika kept on hugging each other and shrieking in fear. Natsumi, who had also been screaming in terror all the while when this chaos had started and even while Chizuru all but dragged her to the relative safety of Ku Fei's room, wasn't screaming anymore, partially because she was somewhat getting used to it, but mostly because her throat was too sore for her to keep yelling by now. She wished she had a Scooby Snack. Uncle Norville always said Scooby Snacks were good for sore throats from screaming about monsters.

It wasn't like the demons or imps or whatever they were stopped coming in if you kept yourself silent and quiet. They swarmed everywhere, trying to get in through every croak or fissure no matter where you went. However Nagase-san, who had arrived with the twins even before Naba and Murakami had, claiming their own room had been invaded, still smiled at her as if the situation wasn't dire at all.

"It would seem the situation at the shrine isn't as serious as it is here de gozaru," Kaede informed, while listening to more of her rival's report. "Maybe they fear approaching holy ground? Tatsumiya-dono is asking me right now if we can't make a beeline for it, what do you think?"

"B-But you heard President Fujino's message over the speakers, we're supposed to lock ourselves indoors until... well, the staff can deal with this!" hesitated Izumi Ako, who had stumbled in shorly after Chizuru and Natsumi, stammering nervous excuses that didn't sound all that coherent about Akira's absence.

Ku Fei, who sat with her back to the bedroom's door, firmly holding it back against the violent, repeated hits from the outside, several rips on her clothes and a few slash marks on her limbs, clenched her teeth. "I say we can no stay here much longer! Hitting and running for refuge sound good now!"

Kaede nodded grimly, cutting the call and pulling several shuriken and daggers out of her sleeves. "This one agrees, Ku-dono. Twins, stop crying already and get up. And find something to wear, I'm sure Ku-dono can spare a few of Haruna-dono's shirts. Remember the training this one's given you. I know this one's never been the best of teachers, but I know I haven't trained you to become crybabies in the face of the supernatural."

"That's easy for you to say, Kaede-nee," Fuuka sniffled as she helped Fumika up from her knees, and headed to raid Haruna's closet. It was a measure of the emergency that no one had made mention of their nudity. The familiar lewd smell didn't bear mentioning either. "but weren't you running away in terror from all those frog demons?"

"This one could have dealt with any demons but frog demons," Kaede sighed sadly while helping Ku with the door. "Okay, here's what we'll do de gozaru. Ku-dono and I will attack the demons as we burst out, opening a path for you. Never stop running, don't look back for us, we'll be fine and every step of the way behind you..."

"W-Wait, we can't possibly outrun those... demons or aliens or whatever they are, and that's assuming we don't start running into more of them!" Natsumi protested. "We should at least try calling for Chachamaru-san or Chao-san again, they know martial arts too and could help...!"

"Too late for that!" Ku grunted, finally letting go of the door at the same time as Kaede, both fighters readying themselves to bash, kick and cut into the horde that would no doubt break in right now. "We only can hope for Chao to— aru?"

The demons weren't breaking in. Instead, they had begun screaming even more violently, in higher, hellish pitched tones that sounded like the devil himself dragging his fingernails across a chalkboard of agony, or possibly someone trying to sing 'It's A Small World'. Naba, Natsumi, the Narutaki twins and Izumi could only cover their ears and cringe, but the horrible sounds subsided just as quickly, and then, for a moment, there was only a sinister silence...

... before Zazie Rainyday kicked the door, already precariously hanging off its hinges, down from the outside, leaving behind a long trail of destroyed furniture and shredded black remains of creatures that had been alive seconds ago, walking in with her usual lack of expression and carrying an unconscious girl in her arms.

"Good evening," Zazie greeted, as impassive as ever, while walking past the stunned girls and leaving her sleeping load on the lower bunk of the bedroom, pausing for the shortest moment to gently pat her on a cheek. Just as soon, she turned back around and began walking back towards the downed door. "Please take care of her. I have things to do. Elsewhere."

Fuuka and Fumika gasped. "Zazie… _**CAN TALK?-!-?-!-?-!-?"**_

"Things... to..." an incredulous Natsumi trailed off. "No! W-Wait! Zazie-san, you c-can't go out there all on your own, that's too dangerous!"

"Are we the only ones caring about the talking thing?" Fuuka said.

"Seriously, she's talking! With grammar!" Fumika said. "Maybe she's possessed? Did one of those things get her somehow?"

"It's okay," Zazie flatly said, walking past Kaede and Ku without either trying to stop her. "I'll be with my uncle."

"Your... uncle, what uncle, you never told us you had an uncle!" Fumika cried. "You've never told us anything! What's all of this, you know something, don't you?! What are these weird things that appeared out of nowhere and began destroying everything, why are they—!"

Zazie stopped briefly, pointed at Kaede with a finger, said, "Ask her," and then ran away down the hall at an impressive speed, especially from someone who usually acted borderline catatonic.

And she was gone, just like that.

Natsumi, Chizuru and the twins gave flat, fixed looks at Nagase, who sighed while already cradling the knocked out Shiori in her arms. "No," she said, as Ku and Ako tried their best to look innocent and oblivious. "This one will let Tatsumiya-dono handle that, sorry. Let's keep going, I know a few shortcuts through the woods..."

"Yes, yes, can we get back to how Zazie is talking now?" Fuuka said. "Because that's just weird!"

* * *

When Poyo made it back to the spot where she had left her uncle, she found him sitting on a bench and enjoying a large ice cream cone. He realized her return a moment later and waved with his available hand, chuckling in amusement.

"So, it went all right, I assume? Got to tuck your girlfriend safely under the covers and had a sweet goodbye kiss as thanks?" he asked her.

"She's not my girlfriend, poyo," she said. "I just happened to save her because she was someone in need, poyo. It's not like I like her or anything, poyo. Of course, I wouldn't expect you to understand about good deeds done without wanting anything in return, poyo."

"C'mon, girl, you wound me," the ancient entity said, extending the cone of sweetness towards her. "You know perfectly well I'm one of the nicest in the family! Here, you want some? I didn't expect them to have decent sea-salt ice cream here, but what do I know? They do! With extra caramel! No wonder Hild sent you here. Nice place, this. It'll be a shame to see it go!" he grandly sighed, taking his head back and shaking it.

"No thanks, poyo," she said. "Do you know you sound like a yakuza shaking someone down for protection money when you say that, poyo?"

"Your loss," he shrugged, taking another big mouthful. "I'm sure Skuld wouldn't have been that rude. You _are_ studying with Skuld right now, aren't you? Poor girl really needs some replacement sister figure at the moment, let me tell you..."

As she only stared humorlessly at him, the robed pale man exhaled, swallowed what was left of the ice cream, hastily licked the leftovers off his bony fingers, and opened the portal again. "Are you scared?" he asked her.

"Why would I be, poyo?"

"Where I'm taking you, not even your mother has any jurisdiction, Poyo. It's _my_ home. Where I belong," he warned.

"If her influence doesn't reach there, I should feel better there, poyo," she reasoned, and that made him chortle softly. He stepped aside and bowed, gesturing for her to walk in first, and she did so without hesitation.

Then he followed her through the rip in time and space, and it disappeared from sight instantly, as if it had never been there in the first place.

* * *

Soon, she was being sailed away, surrounded by a relentless darkness barely mitigated by some faint lights that came from the murky waters below. The dark skinned girl's hands were sporting claws again now, instead of retaining the 'normal' appearance she liked to preserve around human beings, so her uncle guessed she still expected for a double cross of some sort or another any moment now.

Smart girl. Much smarter than her younger sister, that was for sure.

She was sitting on a boat, with the eerie lights floating from the river said boat was navigating. Furthermore, there were two men standing on the boat, with their backs to the girl. Both were quite tall, but the shorter and thinner one was completely wrapped into a black robe, and moved the boat with a wooden oar that was taller than Poyo herself, which he quietly pushed and pulled into the fetid waters, following a steady rhythm. The taller man had very wide shoulders and a bald head on which it looked like someone had placed a fire CGI effect. Above them, there was a cavernous rock ceiling, full of shrieking bats, that appeared to be impossibly high, as high as that of a domed stadium at the very least.

"You've been so quiet all the way. You don't have to pretend being Zazie while you are here, you know?" the man with the flame hair finally asked, folding his arms behind his back. "Frankly, I could use some more talkative people down here, you'd think this was some sort of cemetary! The only ones who are always up for any kind of chatter are Pain and Panic, and they're so stupid, talking with them is almost as maddening as the silence, and—" He glanced back at her over his shoulder, flashing a smile full of little teeth as sharp as a piranha's. "Well, I'm not bothering you by telling you this, am I? I mean, I'm sure you have your own serious problems, although trust me, girl, all problems at that age look bigger than they really are! You should enjoy your youth while it lasts. It's not supposed to be eternal, even for the likes of us..."

Poyo took a very deep breath, did her best to supress her urges to just tell him to leap down into the Styx, and asked the terrifying man, "Why won't you start the talking, poyo? Like, by telling me exactly why you invited me here, poyo?"

"Not yet," the man with fire for hair shrugged, somewhat annoyed when she hadn't told him to jump into the river. "Just give it a while. You should count yourself lucky, young lady; it's not like many others in the family would invite you for something like this! Here am I, being nice enough as to go personally to you and taking some of my valuable time off to ask you to meet my new business associates, people who are almost sort-of important for me, and what do I get? Some thanks, some token gesture of appreciation for my effort and kindness? No, you didn't even want for a taste of the ice cream, as if I'd poison it or anything? Who do you think I am-"

"Uncle Hades," Zazie-san stiffly said, "you're rambling again, poyo."

The man smirked, patted on one of Rainyday's shoulders, and said, "Aw, isn't that sweetly hypocritical, Mommy's Little Princess criticizing others' ways of speech, poyo. Tell me again, since when aren't you going to your therapy to get rid of that silly 'poyo' tic, poyo?"

"That isn't your problem, poyo," Poyo said, colder than the river they were traveling. "And I've told you I hate it when you do that, poyo. Where are you taking me, poyo?"

"Well, niece, if you REALLY are that impatient and want to spoil the surprise no matter what, I'm taking you to my office, seeing how you're a big girl who can talk business with her elders now. Would you like a book to read in the meanwhile?" He sank a meaty arm into the river, felt around with an expression of concentration, and finally pulled out a tome he dropped into Poyo's hands. "Enjoy your reading! After all, I heard you could use help with your grades!"

Poyo looked at the volume in her hands, then dropped it with a grimace of disgust after reading the title. " _Twilight_ , seriously, poyo?"

"Well," Hades frowned, picking the book back and tossing it back over a shoulder and into the Styx, before it could burn a hole through the wood, "were you expecting wholesome reading from the damned? Oh, never mind, we're almost there." He rose back to his sandaled feet, now pulling a long bone from his other sleeve, and waving it high towards something gigantic and black that growled and barked on the shore. "C'me here, c'me here, Cerberus, Daddy's back home! Who's been a good bad puppy, who, hmmm?" With an icy chuckle, he tossed the bone up, and one of the three massive heads with glowing red eyes that drooled and slurped in the darkness sprang ahead from the others, catching the bone between its titanic fangs and quickly crunching it to the marrow. "You wouldn't happen to know where I can find a girlfriend for him, would you?" Hades casually asked Poyo. "We're looking for a litter now we're expanding the place. I don't trust your new-age security systems. Alarms are a pain, and demons are always triggering them just for laughs…"

"I'm sorry, but animals have never been my field of expertise, poyo," Zazie admitted, unwilling to debate the point on demons despite being a demon herself. After all, she knew better; she truly couldn't deny the foilings of her species. "This business you are discussing with your associates, poyo... What would it be about anyway, poyo? Because I don't see how I could help you, poyo..."

"Oh, actually, it's mostly about how we can help _you_ ," the God of the Underlord pleasantly said, bringing his hands together, rubbing them against each other slowly. "It's, how should I put it, a matter of royal state property, and who better to advice us on the subject than a Princess...?"

* * *

"What are you up to this time, Tetch?" Negi demanded, growing quite angry, and aiming his staff at the Mad Hatter. "Is Sextum-san with you? Were you the ones who brought us to this world?"

"So many questions should be discussed over tea," the Hatter said, pouring himself another cup and adding two lumps of sugar into it. "Won't you come and sit down? It's well past four o'clock, after all, so why to stall it any further?"

"From where do you know this man?" Alice nervously asked Asuna. "And why does he seem to know me?"

"He knew someone named like you, and who looked like you, long ago," shared Negi, who had made a point of reading on all the super criminals they had faced at Kyoto after that particular fiasco. "Don't accept anything that comes from him. He's extremely dangerous and… deranged."

The Hare who sat near the Hatter lifted his own cup, took a long, messy drink from it, and then mused aloud, eyes crossed and tongue half-hanging out, "If he's deranged, then who is ranged? Of which range are we talking about, by the way? Is it a strange range? Or have I manged the range of the term 'range'? Also, could I have more tea?"

"You couldn't have any less," the Hatter chuckled, pouring him more of the steaming drink.

"Mr. Tetch," Skuld tensely asked, "what have you done to the actual 'Mad Hatter' figure of this place? Where is he now?"

"Where is he?" the Hatter blinked, surprised. Then he placed a hand on his chest. "Why, he's here, naturally! Where else would he be? And where else would I be? I am the one and only Mad Hatter of Gotham and Wonderland alike! And should anyone think differently, I would just shoot them and kick them down the river! It wouldn't be the first time either…" he chuckled maliciously, savoring distant memories of once dispatching a mustachioed impostor in the Gotham City underworld.

Alice shuddered, clutching onto Asuna's side. "What is he talking about? Is he an actual criminal? Should we call on the guards?"

The Hatter made a distraught face at that. "Alice! No! The whole point of Wonderland is having a place full of mirth and nonsense! Why would you call on guards to disrupt that? The Queens always spoil everything, with their guardsmen and rules and laws! Wouldn't you rather sit here to share some tea and celebrate this joyful day under the sun?"

"What are we supposed to be celebrating?" Alice warily asked.

"Is it your birthday?" the Hare asked.

"No," she said.

"Mine neither," Gadget shook her head.

"I'm never sure, being an orphan and all, but it's not the birthday Takahata-sensei gave me, that's for—" Asuna began.

"Asuna-san! Don't play along with them!" Negi scolded her.

Asuna pouted. "Just answering wasn't hurting anyone!"

The Hare clapped his hands together, with raw enthusiasm. "Oh, that's good, good! Then we'll have a collective unbirthday!"

"Unbirthday?" Alice echoed dubiously. "What is that?"

The Hatter answered with sibylline enjoyment. "Every one of us has a single birthday every year, which leaves us all with 364 unbirthdays every other day. Wouldn't it be much better to celebrate all those unbirthdays than that single birthday? And since all of us happen to have one unbirthday today, that means we can party all day long and far beyond!"

"This year has 365 days, not 366, or am I wrong?" the Hare asked, drinking more tea as he consulted a calendar he had just pulled out of his chest pocket.

"Well," Alice said, "that sounds very amusing, but after a while, wouldn't the novelty disappear? What makes your birthday special is that it only comes sparingly."

The Hatter grimaced, his top hat sliding slightly towards the left side of his head. "Alice! I truly expected better from you. Have these bad companies spoiled your sense of decorum? You haven't even sat down despite being invited to do so!"

"Oh, my deepest apologies, but it's just, I'm still confused about what—"

"Don't even think about it," Asuna warned. "This madman is a real rotten egg. I have no idea how he got there, but seeing how he knows us as well, I'm pretty certain he's the same guy who once helped an evil b… witch to kidnap one of our dearest friends!"

"That was the Red Queen's idea, hardly mine," the Hatter said, twiddling his fingers together. The boy still had that powerful stick zeroed on him, so he couldn't reach for his handgun, despite of how much his trigger finger itched. He would have to make use of the gift bestowed upon him before being sent to Wonderland. Again. "Your friend was an inferior, awful Alice! She was not even blonde!"

"What, are you an Aryan supremacist now?" growled Asuna, gesturing towards him with her harinsen while Alice gasped at the barbarism rampaging everywhere, from everyone. "Girls don't come much better than Konoka, so watch your mouth while you still have those oversized teeth in it!"

Gadget frowned mildly as she absently caressed her own front teeth with a finger.

"Asuna!" Skuld gasped. "You could pronounce 'Aryan supremacist' flawlessly! Wow, I *am* that good!"

"Can it, Skuld-sama," Asuna muttered.

"Get up slowly, and with no tricks, Tetch," Negi coldly told the man. "You know you're no physical match for me. And I can see you have a gun in your pants," he added as the scowling Hatter obeyed slowly, hands going up. "Drop it down. Now!"

Chamo sighed as the Hatter let the large handgun on the grass. "Oh, that's a relief. So he wasn't just happy to see us, especially Alice-chan!"

"What did you mean with that?" Alice asked, puzzled.

"Ask your mother," Skuld grouched.

"You may think you have won without even starting to fight, vain young man," the Hatter bitterly said, "but things hardly ever are what they seem, and this side of the mirror, anything is possible. March Hare, you can pour the special tea now."

"The special tea? FINALLY!" with the air of a possessed person, the twitching, excited Hare quickly took hold of another teacup and poured its black, thick contents into his cup, before anyone could stop him. All the eyes that had been on the Mad Hatter moments ago now went to the cup as it quickly overflowed, its contents surging up in a way that startled even the March Hare, making him stumble back and fall on the manicured grass. The Dormouse hiccupped in his sleep, lazily lifted his head, looked at the dark mass rising from the tea right before his nose, and then mumbled as he simply went back to sleep.

Negi watched in horror as the darkness took on a massive, towering shape, reminiscent of a medieval knight. It wore some sort of dark blue armor materialized out of nowhere over his sleek, powerful black frame, and all of its face but its slitted, icy cold white eyes was covered by a metallic looking helmet with two tall and sharp horns, one on each side of its head. On its broad chest, there was an emblem shaped like a stylized black bat; in a heavy clawed hand it held a shield, and a long sword in the other.

"… man," Asuna said. "You Gotham freaks really are obsessed with Batman-sama, aren't you? Not that I don't understand the appeal, he's a real stud, but still... "

"Kill everyone but Alice. Don't touch a single hair of hers, or you will pay," the Hatter dryly commanded, and then the Heartless Knight lunged ahead with his sword towards the closest target. Negi.

* * *

"Tea?" said one of the two tiny demons who had been eagerly waiting for Lord Hades when they arrived to the sinister dark chamber of doom and no smoking, please, offering her a steaming cup of something vile and vicious with a finger floating in it.

"Or coffee?" asked the even shorter, chubbier demonic imp at her other side, offering her a cup that looked and smelled just as bad, but this one had a toe in it instead.

"Thank you, but wouldn't you happen to have something without any body parts, poyo?" Poyo calmly asked.

The two imps looked at each other, highly confused at that strange request, before they reached into the drinks, pulled the finger and the toe out, and then offered the cups to Poyo again, sporting identical toothy, nervous smirks. "We do now!" they chorused.

One eye slowly floated up to the surface of the skinny blue imp's drink. "That wasn't supposed to be there," he said.

Poyo quietly picked the eyeball from the drink, flicked it aside, and began sipping from the cup. Any 3-A student would always choose tea, after all. "Don't worry about that, poyo. Thanks all the same, poyo."

Meanwhile, Uncle Hades sat by her side, but this once, he was not at the head of his own meeting table. The table was incredibly wide, and of course it was black, smooth and well polished, shiny under the light of the green candles set before each seat of those gathered. It was an old tradition of the Underworlds, granting access to important gatherings and conferences through the delivery of green candles that had to be lit at the stroke of midnight and then held during the visitor's stay in the realm of the dead.

It was the only way Zazie knew a mortal could survive the trip to Hades' domains and leave while keeping their life. And, against her expectations when she was brought there, there had been many mortals in attendance, which was against Uncle's normal customs. He hadn't had a single live human visitor that she knew of since Orpheus, all those centuries ago.

"Look, I just had to bring her in, okay?" Hades shrugged, comfortably sitting on his dark seat of ominous dread, helpfully marked with a 'II' engraved on its back. "She's got prior experience working with Cosmo Entelecheia, and she knows the kids better than anyone. If I could manipulate time and space to simply reach all the way there and crush them myself, do you think I'd have the need to associate myself with you guys? Not to offend any of you, naturally..." he laughed throatily, perversely, folding his hands under his chin. "Still, I vouch for the girl. True, she's a bit soft hearted, but she'll grow up! Besides, she understands average mortals are supposed to be fleeting like that. Again, no offense..."

"Some God you are, then," the tall, lean, horned figure in complete back sitting at the head of the table sneered. "And you are quite offensive for someone who never means any offense, Lord Hades."

"Hey, hey hey," Hades frowned. "Did I ever say any of you fellows were 'average'? Mortals, maybe, but whatever your many faults are, 'average' certainly ain't one of them. You at least strive to get better, I can appreciate that. I'm the same, that's why I want to get this place up and running better than ever now. You'll see, it's just we aren't working at full capacity ever since we only get the sinners and misfits! We've got a lot of them, true, enough as to get by, but it's still not the same thing as before. Used to be, they sent everyone else down too, so I got a nice little cosmic macrocosm of life, but nowadays I only get the lowlifes and nobodies. Standards have really gone down... Anyway, do you know why half of the suckers here were sent to me? Betrayal!"

"Meaning?" the leader of the Council coldly asked.

Hades fumed loudly and slammed a fist on the table. "Meaning I wouldn't bring anybody here if I was sure they could, in any way, shape or form, betray us! The willingness to do so, of course, being another matter altogether, but let's be honest, you can't ask for much honesty and loyalty in this business, I understand that. I'm only saying I trust all of us, yourself included, niece, to be smart enough as to realize none of you could get away with betraying the Council. I thought it'd be nice to address this before anything else."

"How considerate of you," another tall, thin figure wrapped in red and black, with a small red parrot perched on a shoulder and trying to hide behind its owner's tall collar, sneered dismissively. "Although I fail to see why we should be unable to ever deal with a failure in your part, if you feel we must resort to subterfuge to deal with a child and his witless associates."

With the flair of a ringmaster, a thin man in the white suit of a stage magician, with a curly black moustache, laughed with a scenery-chewing gusto Poyo, a show-woman herself, might have found likable under other circumstances. "Oh, Vizier, Vizier, I come from the future, do you remember that? I know things! There's nothing normal about that child. You said it yourself, nobody should be able to stand a fight against those Heartless of yours, and yet they have done so without the need for one of those 'Keyblades' you seem to be in so much awe of!"

"Why don't we turn them into Heartless?" asked a huge, adipose monster of a woman, eight slimy black tentacles oozing and squirming all around her. "That should settle things quick enough!"

"I'm not sure that is the wisest course action," sounded the smooth, composed voice of a bald man in an expensive black business suit, who sat while absently caressing the glowing green ring in his right hand. "According to all the information you supplied me... and I'm acting under the impression it would be in your own best interests to be as accurate as possible... turning that boy, not to mention the vampire pulling his strings, into more of your monsters would only turn them into uncontrollable beasts that would need a serious waste of efforts as to dispose of them. Better to strike them down while they are relatively weak and disoriented."

"Forget about the lad!" another man, also tall and lean, swinging a sharp hook replacing his left hand, shouted acridly. "How can you be so gleefully ignoring the most important fact? The King and his Keyblade have been found! It's **him** we should be focusing on! Swoggle me eyes, why should we be minding them bilge rats!"

A very attractive woman with long wavy purple hair, clad in an enticing, form fitting green onepiece with matching gloves and boot, gave a mischievous smile. "Captain, my dear Captain, you of all people should be aware of the folly of understimating children. Besides, there's not much we can do about the King as long as Heracles is near him. Better to write that world off as a momentary loss. It gives us an excuse to seize the Lifemaker's creation without going back on our terms with Cosmo Entelecheia."

Poyo made her best to prevent herself from flinching at that coldly callous remark.

"Ha ha ha! That's right, just imagine the looks on their faces then!" cackled a deep voiced, wide and tall figure that stunk of rancid worms and putrefaction, wrapped in a dirty white mix of a full bodysuit and an oversized burlap sack. "First we claim the smaller prize, and then the big one! I like that! A full house!"

"Indeed," grimly intoned a muscular caped man, hiding his face behind a metal mask, folding his arms on the table's surface. "We will stride the worlds like giants, humbling the greatest of man's scion while, at the same time, helping them into true greatness."

"That's right, a greater team of humanitarians and do-gooders has never been assembled before! Oh, how noble we all are! A veritable order of sisters of mercy!" loudly taunted the Council member who chilled Poyo the most, despite being the least powerful by far. He was the only one of them who had struck at Negi-sensei and his forces before, and she knew well he would greatly enjoy their suffering. Even the other Council members seemed clearly uneasy and uncomfortable around the man, who was as white as the skull of death, and grinned from ear to ear, red wide lips sprawled while showing uncountable long teeth, yellowed and disorganized like the keys of a broken piano. "Ha ha ha ha ha!"

 _The Joker._

"Enough," the Council Leader said, rising from her dark throne, as a crow flew from the darkness to stand on one of her shoulders. She slammed the end of her long staff against the cavernous floor and sternly added, "There are enough of our forces to deal with both sides of the opposition. They will surrender to us, or be swallowed by darkness. Either way," and this woman's purple thin lips curved up in a way that was much subtler than Joker's but no less threatening, "they will end up being useful..."

* * *

Meanwhile, sitting alone at the head of the wide dinner table of her resort's core building, Evangeline A.K. 'definitely will never be Yukihime' Mc Dowell fumed to herself, one leg slung over her chair's armrest, and her chin on a fist. Her emerald eyes were fixed on the wall opposite her, her brow curved down with intensity.

Chachamaru's sensors, always so handy at reading any given situation, were useless this once. Even without them, she had become quite handy at reading her mistress' emotions, but not this time. It made her actually... she supposed she could use the term 'nervous' under such peculiar circumstances. She had never seen Evangeline like this, not even when she pursued Negi's blood. Evangeline's mood at the time was completely bitter and downright fierce, and when Chachamaru had suggested going back to the others, the vampire had nearly physically lashed out at her, something she had never done before.

Chachamaru had stuck regardless, for Negi and Ala Alba had each other, but Evangeline only had her. Evangeline had spent most of the subjective days since locked up in the resort, which she had sealed from the inside, trying to remain as isolated from Chachamaru herself as possible. It was clear she was dwelling on something that tormented and angered her, but subtly asking about the subject had been met with nothing but growls, evasions, and outright "shut up"s.

Until that subjective morning, when Eva asked Chachamaru to bring her a box of toys she had once bought from a traveling collector. She often did that, and added them to her impressive collection of dolls and playthings. Chachamaru wondered why she would want these now, however. She had never showed any special attachment to them, and they were not expensive or particularly fine, in purely material terms. Still, perhaps they would lighten the Master's mood, so Chachamaru obeyed quickly, contented to be asked for help at last. It was progress, of some sort.

So why did she hesitate now, stopping at the dining room's doorstep, with the cardboard box in her hands?

"Well, what are you waiting for? Bring it to me already," Evangeline curtly ordered without looking back at the door.

"Yes, Master," the gynoid quietly said, walking to her and delicately placing the box on the table.

Evangeline looked inside and nodded only once. "You can go now."

"Indeed. I'll be waiting outside of your room in the event you—"

"I mean," Evangeline snarled, "you can go. Out. Away. Back to your creator. I don't need you anymore."

"Master?"

"You don't even need to call me Master," the vampire said, standing up and pointing for the door. "Leave. If I ever have need of your assistance again, I'll let you know."

"But, should I contact you if Hakase-san and Negi-sensei learn anything about how to head back to Mahora?"

"Why would I ever want that? I'm free now. I have no further need for Boya or his blood, or for anyone else, for that matter. That includes you, so go and search for your own happiness. You won't find it at my side."

"With all due respect for your instructions, Master," Karakuri said, "I won't ever be happy if I suspect you aren't enjoying any measure of happiness yourself. And if I can say so, your actions of late have hardly been those of a happy person."

"I'm a creature of the night, fool! My sole true happiness lies in being alone, apart from mankind! And you have become far too human for my comfort. So leave! Shoo! Scoot! Forget you ever knew me! I'll drop the resort's seals just long enough for you to leave, and don't bother coming back afterwards. You'll find them in place again!"

"This is nothing but a temper tantrum, Master," Chachamaru calmly replied. "Is this the mid-life crisis we were warned about"

"I! Don't! Throw! Temper! Tantrums!" Evangeline slammed a foot on the floor with each word, rather petulantly. "And I don't have a mid-life to have a crisis _of_! But I'll throw **you** out if you don't leave soon!"

Chachamaru blinked, then reached over and tugged on one of Evangeline's ears. "Stop acting like a dumbass, you gorgeous powerful foolhardy gem, you!" she shouted in a perfect copy of Evangeline's voice.

"What's that for, you moron?!"

"It's what you instructed me to do in the event you ever became too irrational and childish for your own good," she honestly replied. "Has it worked?"

"NO! Now leave already before I... before I shatter you into a million pieces!"

"Can I be back by Saturday?"

"NO!"

"Sunday, then?"

"NO!"

"Very well. Monday, in that case. Enjoy yourself in the meanwhile, please," said Chachamaru, deeply bowing to her before turning around and leaving.

Evangeline hissed and seethed viciously, rubbing her aching ear, while listening to her soft steps down the hall, growing softer and then silent. Her eyes gained her warning golden on black colors, and she muttered to herself, fangs showing. "I should have destroyed her..."

 _Never mind that now. It's time to start unraveling this damned puzzle,_ she thought as she pulled the toys out of the box and aligned them before her, neatly, one by one. Then she stared angrily at them, waiting. When no answer came by, she pushed two fingers against the chest of the old cowboy action figure she had placed at the head of the group, whose colors were fading, both on its exposed face and the clothes he was wearing.

"Stop playing the fool, will you?!" she yelled. "I want some damn answers, and I want them now!"

The cowboy plopped down on his butt and then, making a muted grunt, moved one of his hands, taking it to his chest. "This is why we don't like playing with you! You play rough!"

"And that's because I'm not a child anymore," she growled, grabbing the cowboy and pulling him up face to face with her, as the other toys also stirred to life and began to moved, looking up at them in several different levels of concern and surprise. "The man who sold you to me said he'd gotten you from a parallel world. While passing through a place called 'Traverse Town'! Who left you there in the first place, and when?!"

* * *

"Look, it's not my fault, okay?" Hades shrugged, comfortably sitting on the dark throne of ominous dread at the end of the chamber. "It's just like I was telling the guys and gals, if I could manipulate time and space like _some other people_ who still do nothing for others despite claiming moral superiority, do you think I'd have to do that whole thing with the potion and the Titans and all that? Hmmm? But hey, these fellows, well, _they_ offered me a seat at the big kids table, what was I supposed to do? I had to play along, but believe me, Poyo dear, I know a rat when I see one. I know how to play them without being burned, but that doesn't change the fact sometimes you've gotta play with them in the first place."

Poyo, who sat seiza on the ground before him, barely made comfortable by a pillow Pain and Panic had brought for her after the meeting was over and the other Council members left, said nothing.

"Now, I know what are you thinking," Hades smiled, taking a finger to his forehead. "You're thinking I'm trying to fool you, to sweet-talk into thinking I've turned a new leaf, to convince you I'm an unwilling party in all of this. Because you're such a smart girl, Poyo."

"If you say so, poyo," she plainly said. "And what have I told you about my schnicht, poyo?"

Hades formed a cigar out of thin air and began smoking it, blowing skull shaped tiny clouds. "You know I hate being here, don't you?"

"It's a frequent topic of amusement for Mother, so she makes sure to mention it at least once per visit, poyo," Poyo said.

"Isn't that just like Hildy?" Hades chuckled, with some deeply bitter semblance of fondness. "Well, yes, there used to be a time where I to take Zeusy's big cushy Laz-E-Boy, move into the big house, to take over creation forever and cast them down here, so they'd know how it feels, while I spreaded my darkness around all of existence... And then, well, there was that whole stunt with Herc, and I nearly succeeded, if not for some bad luck, and you know what that near-success led me to realize?"

"That you can't fight fate, poyo?" asked Poyo.

"No, that's was defeat taught me," Hades sighed. "What near-victory made me realize was, I'd have extended my darkness over everything. Darkness which I didn't originally have, mind you, but that's the breaks, I guess."

"I fail to see how that would be a realization, poyo," Poyo said.

"Come on, see the pig picture, Poyo... girl," he said, remembering just in time to not make it sound like he was stealing her thing. "By making everything like Hades, I'd have been trapped in the same kind of place I detest! But now that place would be everywhere! I'd just be trading a prison for an even bigger prison, and 'bigger' is no relief when you're a god!"

"So basically, you are trapped in a situation you can't escape, poyo," Poyo observed. "You can't just take over without being yourself, and contaminating everything, poyo. You would end up living, not in Olympus, but in an Olympus turned Hades, poyo."

Hades nodded and let out a miserable sigh. "Isn't that just like a Greek Tragedy, I ask you?"

"You might just try to change yourself for the better, poyo."

Hades made a face of disgust. "Hey, I _used_ to be better! I used to be a nice guy! Even mortals remember how it used to be! I didn't go around screwing everything that walks, flies, swims or came from a tree like everyone _else_ in my branch of the family! I came in to work every day, made a ton of money, didn't go out a night to party... I was the _responsible_ one! The one who actually worked his butt off in an eternally thankless job!" By now, everyone was leaning back slightly as Hades caught fire, the flames licking higher and higher. "I tried you know, I tried going along with it, I tried my best at being patient and a good sport. _**ASK ME HOW THAT WENT?!"**_ Abruptly he deflated, the radiant, towering inferno that had been rising towards the near-invisible ceiling of the Underworld disappearing into a little puff, the bright orange flames turning back to cool blue. "I'm cool, I'm cool... Remember what the Doc told me… Anyway, I brought you here because it's the only place where I'm sure those guys can't hear me or see me. Because no one can look into the realm of the dead until their time is due... or they're using some real good necromatic mojo to cheat... or they're Telute, because death gets everywhere... but hey, it's STILL one of the most secure places to have a conversation in creation. No one can hear you. Not even the walls, they're made of corpses."

"I've noticed, poyo," said Poyo, giving one of the walls covered by bones and skulls a disapassionate look. "But I still don't understand what would you need my help with, poyo?" she asked. "Don't you have enough with your allies, poyo?"

"Pffft! Forget my so-called 'allies', they're in this only for their own agendas," Hades waved a hand in a circle. "Maleficent acts all high and mighty with her Mistress of All Evil farce, but in fact she's just a big softie who wants to own her little precious sleeping princess and doesn't want anyone to learn. I did, though, 'cause I'm that damn good, heh heh. Lex is just playing things up so his Earth will fall into chaos and he can take over as its savior. Hook and Kadabra are only glorified thieves. Joker and Oogie Boogie are simply nutballs who go around wrecking things for fun. Polaris is delusional and as detached from reality as they come. Ursula and Jafar are in this for mere petty power and self-validation, and Circe... she's going through a mid-life crisis, that's all. Let your Unca take care of those bozos, what I really have in mind for you is... well, follow me and I'll show you, kid!"

Hades stood up and led her towards a planetary model at the other end of the chamber, one depicting a planet wrapped into heavenly mists. He waved a hand around it, and the floating model that was made of some otherwordly material more consistent than light, but far more ethereal than stone, metal or wood, gave a zooming closeup, showing several areas covered by ancient Greek architecture. Small cities, great metropolis of days long gone, and hillside villages, were all visible in great detail. Hades moved a finger through the scale landscape until it stopped at a gigantic Coliseum in one of the bigger cities.

"Do you know why I was fated and foretold to endure long past my siblings, those living in the clouds surrounded by luxury?" Hades asked.

Poyo actually sighed. "Because death and taxes are the only constants in the existence of man through the ages, no matter what, and death is the only mystery they will never figure out, poyo? The only frontier only faith can break through, poyo?" she droned. "And no matter what, dead people have to go somewhere, poyo?"

"Yup," Hades hissing, grinning perversely again. "That's why. The clock keeps ticking, and everyone of my sibs and their kids get forgotten or kiddified, and I come out on top. Nice guys finish last, yanno. But now, now guys have been playing fast and loose with time and space– and if _**I**_ say someone's playing fast and loose, you know it's serious crap– in no small part because of all the instability your egghead classmate caused... now, this has reappeared."

"Your homeworld, poyo," Poyo dispassionately said. "So, is everyone there, poyo...?"

"Existence is re-creating itself," Hades growled, his burning eyes nailed on the model. "And now to things that definitely should not be happening are, well, happening. My nephew, who's shown up on your world looking like a steroid overdose who got hit with the ugly stick as the mindless Servant of a little princess (which I think is hilarious and no big change, by the way) is back here too!" He poked a finger angrily into another part of the world, as if trying to stab it with his sharp nail. "And I don't like that! At all!"

"So much for leaving your past alone then, poyo," Poyo said.

"It's not like I have a choice," Hades huffed. "Anyway, I want you to look into that for me. Lend your poor uncle a hand, and I'll see what can I do for Zazie. I'm not even asking you to make him slip on a banana peel, just look."

"Do you want me to go up against Hercules, poyo? Are you sure you don't want to try again, now these allies of yours have given you a chance, poyo? Why should I believe your earlier claims then, poyo?"

"Because, if I just wanted to strongarm you, I wouldn't even need to lie, would I? I'd just need to pluck Zazie's soul out of storage and threaten to do the usual nasty stuff to it, but that's just barbaric, right? It's the kind of thing those Christians do over... there" He waved vaguely as, his face looking annoyed, as if he was talking about an annoying neighbor who held karaoke parties long into the night with the volume turned all the way up. "I'm a civilized Greek, we don't do things like that. And we're _family_. Look, just help a poor uncle indulge in an old grudge, for old times' sake, that's all. Come on, it's not like I'm going to pull a Zeus on the kid and rape him or turn him into a tree. Just a little straightforward suffering, maybe a few monsters, and make him wish he was dead! It's just a little payback."

"The best revenge is living well, poyo..."

"I DON'T WANT TO LIVE WELL! I _**CAN'T**_ LIVE WELL!" Hades' body burst into flames again, and far from him, Pain and Panic shrieked and hugged each other. "I JUST GOT A DO OVER SO I WANT TO GET THINGS DONE _RIGHT_ THIS TIME! CAN'T YOU GET THAT, YOU STUPID GIRL?!"

There a moment of stillness.

 _I just want to get things done right this time..._

And then he, just as abruptly, turned the flames off, slicked his 'hair' back, and recomposed himself with an elegant gasp. "E-hem! Sorry about that. Anyway, yeah, just do that, or I'll pull Zazie out of storage and crush her. Since you force my hand that much." He tried to look cool and intimidating and serious as he said it, which was kinda hard to do when he was looking away nervously fully aware he might have said something that hit just a _bit_ too close to home.

"Mother would destroy you, poyo," Poyo said levelly.

"I doubt she could, given the way things have turned out all of a sudden," he said, recovering some of his cool. "But do you really want to risk it? Hrmmmmm?"

Poyo, for the first time in a long while, actually frowned deeply, claws flexing in and off at her sides.

But she ended up shaking her head anyway. "No. I don't want to risk it, poyo."

* * *

The Mad Hatter took another elegant sip from his tea, now he had taken his seat back, and quoted, _"You will observe the Rules of Battle, of course?' the White Knight remarked, putting on his helmet too."_

Asuna grunted in exertion as the Knight Heartless swung his sword at her, once again barely missing her and Negi. It was fast, very fast, giving Negi little room or time to charge any spells, and constantly closing in on them, so they had to fall back on purely physical defense.

Hatter chuckled, pouring a refill for himself and another for the March Hare, who looked sort of sullen over being batted back earlier, but apparently would put up with it over the tea. _"`I always do,' said the Red Knight, and they began banging away at each other with such fury that Alice got behind a tree to be out of the way of the blows."_

Alice, who inded was behind a nearby tree now with Skuld, Gadget and Chamo, blinked at the latest quote from the small man. "How curious," she said. "Are you saying there is a story about another girl named Alice, and he is obsessed with it?"

"Sort of," Skuld grunted, keeping a Skuld Bomb in hand, but not daring to toss it at the criminal or the Heartless until she could find a proper opening. Giant paper fans and wooden staffs, even ones of magical origins, were not the best instruments to block strikes from bladed weapons, so Asuna and Negi were really against the ropes by now. Only the fact there were two of them and each was keeping the Heartless' attention in a different direction was buying them enough room and time to survive. "Any ideas on what to do now?"

"The gun in the man's hand," Gadget pointed towards the Hatter, who was holding his cup in one hand and the handgun he had picked back from the grass in the other. "Even if the Professor and Asuna prevail, he can use that to shoot them down while they're tired and in shooting range."

"I'm on it, Hon!" Chamo made a brief salute with a flip of a paw, before quickly disappearing between the bushes.

"He'd better not have taken that as an excuse to escape..." Skuld mumbled.

"Asuna-san, I'll go low, you go high!" Negi shouted, ducking and striking with several Sagitta Magica to the Heartless' legs.

"Roger!" the girl nodded, using her greater height to begin pummeling the Heartless' torso in rapid succession as the creature lost footing. While its armor absorbed most of the blows, they still made it fall, and once it was down, Negi raised his hands and blasted him with a quick barrage of successive Jovis Tempestas Fulguriens. The Heartless howled savagely as most of its armor flew apart, shattered, but it incredibly leapt back to its feet, swinging its shield and catching Asuna in the face. "Ugh!"

"Asuna-san!" Negi cried as the girl flew, batted aside and momentarily stunned. Seething in anger, he conjured a Flans Saltatio Pulverea and blasted the Heartless with it, sending the dark being crashed against the tea table, greatly startling Hatter and the Hare.

The Dormouse, giving a few small snores, flipped around in the air after the collision, fell into an empty cup, and kept on sleeping as the cup slide down the broken remains of the table to softly land on the grass.

Mad Hatter growled, pushing the goofily chuckling Hare off himself and taking aim at Negi with his gun. "If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn't— OWW!"

Chamo, who had jumped onto his hand while he hadn't been looking, had sunk his teeth on his fingers, and the pain made him drop the gun, long enough for Skuld to find the chance to toss her concussion Skuld Bomb in his face, knocking him back and making him cough as the gas from the projectile enveloped his face.

In the meanwhile, the Heartless rose again, running towards Negi and slashing at him. Negi blocked just in time, but the sword was so sharp it left a large dent into the wood. The Heartless pushed Negi back, and then brought his helmeted head down, hitting the child's own head with it. Negi cried and stumbled back, stunned by the impact, which had left a small bleeding gash on his forehead. The Knight kicked him in the stomach, while Alice shrieked in terror; and Negi fell to his knees, gasping for air, head spinning.

The Heartless stood over him, brought his sword up, and then brought it down...

Only to find it blocked by another sword. Although its face itself was not visible, its widening blank eyes said everything.

Negi lifted his head and gulped, almost as surprised. "Asuna-san!"

Asuna smiled, teeth awkwardly clenched. "You spend so long trying to get the sword, then you get it only once without the actual chance to slash with it, and then it only reappears when you have to save a brat...!"

With renewed energy, the girl pushed the Knight back; Alice watched on in pure awe how that girl, barely older than herself, swatted such a gigantic weapon with such ease and power. "I'll never hear the end of this from Misa and the others now!" she raged, redoubling her efforts with great rage, striking furiously at the Heartless, slowly overwhelming it. "They'll get the wrong idea, and it's all your fault! It's not like I could let a child die, but you think they'll take it that way? No, no, no, no! You idiot! You just brought me a whole world of pain!"

"Asuna-san, I doubt it can understand you!" Negi said, trying to come to her aid, but unsure of what angle to take without getting in her way. The way she was attacking wasn't helping him there.

"I was talking to _you_!" Asuna growled, swinging her newfound sword from below and up into the Heartless' now mostly exposed upper body, cleaving it cleanly by half. "NEGI, YOU DAMN FOOL!" was her desperate cry as the Heartless' body exploded into black sparks that flew everywhere.

Then, while the black specks floated down slowly, blanketing the grass, Asuna hissed and grumbled, limbs trembling slightly. "Last thing... I needed... was your jealous girlfriends on my case now...! Why me, why...!"

Negi gulped. "Asuna-san, I'm so sorry over that, but... I'm also so thankful... You just saved my life, and—!"

Then he felt another sharp, metallic thing being tightly pressed against his throat from behind. And he saw another figure, as tall as a man but shaped like a giant playing card with a head and limbs, appearing behind Asuna as well, pressing a long spear's tip against her back.

"Halt!" the card soldier detaining Asuna shouted, with a strong and manly voice. "You all are under arrest in the name of the Queen of Hearts!"

"... aw shit," Chamo muttered from the grass.

"... is it your unbirthday as well?" asked the Hare. "What a happy coincidence!"

The Dormouse blinked lazily, looked at the card soldiers that were filling the clearing now from all sides, turned his cup around so it covered him, and just kept on sleeping underneath it.

* * *

 **To be Continued**.


	10. Alice Mc Beal

Akamatsu Ken and Kodansha created and own _Mahou Sensei Negima!_

Reverend Charles Lutwidge Dodgson, better known as Lewis Carroll, created _Alice's Adventures in Wonderland_.

Fujishima Kosuke and Kodansha created and own _Oh my Goddess!_

The Walt Disney Company created and owns _Chip 'n Dale Rescue Rangers_.

We make no money from this fanfiction adaptation of a videogame adaptation of an animated adaptation of Reverend Dodgson's wonderful original.

* * *

 **The Keys of the Kingdom HD 2.8 Final Chapter Prologue Turbo Hyper Champion Edition Gold**.

 **By OverMaster and Shadow Crystal Mage**.

* * *

 **Chapter Eight**.

* * *

 _Mahora:_

Nagase Kaede forced a smirk. Even now, while surrounded by hundreds of swarming Heartless in the cold of the, now that she noticed it, disturbingly starless night, with her panicking more helpless classmates and unconscious random person flanked by herself and Ku Fei in a last attempt at protection, her posture remained steady and calm, and her eyes stayed either fully closed or so narrow they could pass for slits on her face. Natsumi never had been sure on the subject, and right now she even sort of regretted she wouldn't live to ever learn the truth on it.

"Ladies," the tall, busty shinobi said, again hefting the huge metal star-shaped sharp weapon she had pulled out of nowhere as soon as they'd been ambushed, "it's been a pleasure. Figuratively and literally."

Fuuka sniffled and held the uncontrollably bawling Fumika tighter against herself. "Sorry we couldn't be of any other use, Kaede-neesan," the older twin apologized honestly.

"No, this one's who should be sorry for training you wrong as a joke, Fuuka-dono," Kaede humbly said. "Please forgive this one's horrible lack of foresight."

Fuuka narrowed her eyes angrily. "You're **sooooo** going to hell!"

Kaede chuckled with gallows humor even as Ku Fei muttered bitterly in Chinese and kept on kicking and punching more Heartless that jumped her way, all the while Nagase only to had to block them away with her throwing star, using it as an oversized shield. "Sorry, sorry! By the way, Murakami-dono, Naba-dono, Izumi-dono, before we die, there's something this one should confess to you, so this one's chest is free of a terrible secret held back for all too long. This one's actually a denizen of the shadows, a silent assassin-to-be, a—"

"For the love of God, Kaede-san," Natsumi cried, she and Chizuru hugging each other, "we know you're a ninja, okay?! We've known for a long while! Just keep on hitting those things and don't get distracted like that!"

Kaede managed to blink without actually opening her eyes any more than before, which Natsumi had to admit was a pretty awesome trick. "Eh? But how could you know that, this one's never given any signs of—"

"You talk like a star of an old ninja movie, you swing that thing around every time a brawl breaks out in the campus, you, the twins and Mido-sensei fuck like bunnies at the top of your voice, and for God's sake, Kaede-san, let's talk about that later, okay?!" Natsumi yelled, right before something hulking and dark landed too close for comfort, making the ground quake and crackle, and a shrill, demanding cutesy voice from the shadows cried something that sounded a whole lot like...

"Berserker! You know what to do!"

"Hey! Don't hog our entrance cue! We've the vigilante magical girl protectors around here, if anyone's going to appear out of nowhere at a straight line like that's it's going to be us!" another female voice cried.

"… wow, you're crazier than the wizards," Illya's voice said.

* * *

 _Wonderland:_

"Ah! This is horrible! I can't beleive we've been arrested! By a queen, even! That's a big thing with us Welsh! ARGH! I'm a horrible teacher! Now my students won't take me seriously anymore, and I'll be forced to retire in disgrace and scandal!" Negi panicked as he, Asuna, Skuld, Alice and Gadget were made to walk together into a tight circle, with the armed guards surrounding them. "Wait, what did we do, anyway?"

A Nine of Hearts cleared his throat and declared, "You have been sighted in the company of one of the dark creatures who tried to steal the Queen's heart this morning! Hence, you are charged with conspiracy to commit attempted regicide!"

"We were KILLING that monster!" Asuna protested. Then she stole curious glances at the paper-thin sides of the guard and asked him, "What's with your inner organs anyway?"

"The prisoner has just shown an interest in inner organs! Further proving she's a thief of such organs! Let it stand on the royal record!" a Seven of Hearts proclaimed.

A Five of Hearts glanced at a Two of Hearts. "Are we supposed to keep records of arrests? Since when?"

"Never mind, I'll do it," offered a Three of Hearts, pulling a pen out and writing the statements down on himself.

"Asuna-san, please," Skuld groaned out of a corner of her mouth, "just leave the talking to us, okay?"

"Gentlemen, please!" Alice asked. "Let's be reasonable here, will we? I was as surprised as anyone can be when I saw the Professor was a warlock, but I'm rather sure he's a benevolent sort of—"

"Uh, we prefer 'mage' or wizard' these days," Negi said. "Warlocks are... not nice people."

"We have no problem with anyone practicing magic or not," the Seven of Hearts said, "since magic doesn't exist, the Queen said it so. However, you were still seen with a Heart-Thief, and that is a crime punishable by death!"

The Four of Hearts played an ominous beat on a drum.

"Who saw us, then?" Skuld asked. "Who called you guys, and for that matter, why didn't you step in to take care of that 'Heart-Thief' before?"

"It doesn't matter to you, betrayers to the crown, who tipped us off your felonies," the Five of Hearts huffed, as a rapid chuckle was heard from a nearby tree, from a wide grin half-hidden between the leaves. "As for why we couldn't arrive sooner... our legs are made of layered pasteboard!"

"Okay, that's good enough a reason," Negi allowed, "But we aren't in complicity with the Heart-Thief, I swear! You should ask that man over..." Then he realized the Mad Hatter was not there anymore; he had disappeared from the spot where he had dropped minutes ago. "Oh feathers!"

"That dirty rat escaped while we weren't looking!" Asuna said.

Gadget coughed delicately into a fist.

"What?" Asuna asked. "You're a mouse, not a rat!"

"Many of my best friends are— actually, now that I think about it, no rat has ever been kind at all to me. Never mind then, sorry," Gadget replied.

"That'll be enough!" the Eight of Hearts shouted. "You'll now be brought before the Queen for a fair and benevolent trial where you'll be found guilty and beheaded! So start moving already, hooligans!"

"What? Oh, no, you can't do that!" Alice protested. "We haven't done anything wrong, and I couldn't possibly have tried to steal anyone's heart! I was busy elsewhere all through this morning; you can ask the Cheshire Cat, or the Dodo, or Mr. Caterpillar, or the White Rabbit, or..."

"Save your lies for the jury and the Queen, who are wise to them!" Seven of Hearts said.

Eight of Hearts looked at him. "You are aware that was a subversive statement, aren't you?"

"What? No!" Seven of Hearts gasped.

"It is," Four of Hearts said. "You have implied the most fair and benevolent Queen is well versed on lies."

"You'll probably be beheaded," Two of Hearts nodded.

Seven of Hearts made a truly anguished expression, then dropped his spear and resignedly joined Negi's prisoner group.

Negi looked at Skuld. "What do you think? I'm sure we can take them down and escape..."

Skuld sighed. "Let's play along for the time being. If the course of history in this realm is to be properly followed, Alice will have to pay testimony and be put on trial. Maybe if we're there we might alleviate any further damage our interference might have caused."

"Do I have to? Why? I object to that notion!" Alice cried.

"Silence! The prisoners will remain silent from this point on! That applies to you as well," one of the soldiers prodded the chest of the March Hare with his lance. The Hare, who had gone back to drinking his tea without a care, just blinked.

"Will there be tea at the trial?" he asked.

"Well, the Queen always likes enjoying a cup and pastries after the executions," Six of Hearts said.

The Hare jumped back to his feet with a very wide grin. "Then let's not make the lady and her tea and pastries wait! Is this her unbirthday too? Because I'm afraid I don't have any ungifts on me..."

"Oh, for the love of—!" Five of Hearts began just pushing him away, towards the clearing's edge.

Sometimes, it paid to be easily forgettable, Chamo thought as his head carefully peeked out of the bushes he had been hiding into after the cards' arrival. He waited just a couple of moments after Negi and the others were led away, and then jumped after their trail, moving as stealthily as possible. Coward or not, he was not the kind of filthy coward to leave his brother and four cute girls at the chopping block! He'd have to find a convenient hiding place though. Alice's skirt would do, it was so wide and poofy you could hide another loli under there...

Once he was gone as well, the large grin on the tree moved further ahead, and began laughing aloud, as the striped figure of a cat appeared around it...

* * *

 _Mahora:_

"'You know what to do'? H-How can you phrase it like that?!" gasped another voice in the darkness, one that Natsumi found to be much more familiar. "Berserker is a brutish, out of control savage! Tell him that, and he's likely to just kill EVERYONE!"

"Oh?" the first feminine voice asked mockingly. "Are they friend of yours, Forehead? You aren't very discriminating, are you? Very well. Berserker!" And a pair of small pale hands clapped once. "Kill all the creatures but spare the townsfolk!"

"Towns… folk…?" Natsumi couldn't help but twitch an eyebrow while the mostly bare giant who had just jumped close, making Fuuka and Fumika shriek even louder, began ripping into the shadow demons with raw ferocity and mania, slamming and stomping and bashing them into dusty shreds under his massive fists and feet, quickly making short work of them. It all happened so fast Natsumi could barely see it happening, and even Kaede and Ku were having problems following the massacre all that well, much less react to it. Still, the martial artists kept on bravely shielding their weaker classmates with their own bodies and assorted weapons until the last remaining demons scurried away quickly, getting lost in the neighboring streets and alleys.

And then the colossus stood before them, pounding hard on his wide granitic chest with his slab of rock, and shook his head back while howling and doing an uncanny impression of the T-Rex from Jurassic Park. Or possibly a steroid-fueled, Neanderthal Tarzan. To complete the effect, a shredded banner for the upcoming Festival that had been hanging from a nearby facade fluttered down around him while he roared in triumph.

Had this been a different kind of story, it would have been all over except for the inspirational helicopter ride to the closing credits and a short wait until the sequel, _The Keys of the Kingdom HD 2 Point 8 Final Chapter Prologue 2: The Lost World, with 150% more Neanderthal Tarzan_ , but happily, this isn't that cheap a production.

"Thank you, that will be enough for now, Berserker," said the small albino pleasantly as she walked forward and into the spotlight supplied by a surviving street lamp, her large eyes and smug little smirk now squarely focused on the 3-A students and the still unconscious Shiori in the middle of them all. "So you are more of Brother Negi's students, hmmm? Good, good! Now please start—"

"Nagase-san, Ku-san, everyone!" Nodoka interrupted the moment by rushing straight to her classmates, leaping into Kaede's now open arms as the kunoichi laughed in her standard relaxed way. "Thank g-goodness you're all safe! Wh-What were you doing out in the open…?"

"Ah-ha ha ha, it's so good to see you now, Miyazaki-dono, but this one believes the question should be… what were YOU doing out in the open, de gozaimasu?" Kaede asked, softly ruffling the shorter girl's hair just as Yue also stepped into view.

"Th-Thank you for saving us," Natsumi nervously addressed the albino girl, "b-but who is this… mister who, ah, um…?" she gulped, looking up, up, up at the monstrous man who was right now looming protectively over the tiny stranger. "And, and did you just say Negi-sensei was your…?"

"He is," the petite foreigner said proudly. "I am Illyasviel von Einzbern, of the fabled Einzbern family, the best of all Europe! I'll admit the Springfields are nowhere as powerful or prestigious, but, well… Mother was a woman with weaknesses and shortcomings after all, like everybody else! Now, where were you heading in the middle of this Heartless attack? Did you get a call from my brothers, or what?"

"Another loli relative?" Fuuka said, slightly miffed.

"Just how many does he have?" Fumika greed.

"Oh dear, and it would seem she's a relative of Saber-san as well," Chizuru pointed out. "The plot thickens."

"Brothers? Like, in more than—" Natsumi babbled before being quickly interrupted by the much more controlled Chizuru.

"Einzbern-san," she said. "I am Naba Chizuru, it's a pleasure to make your acquaintance. My father has done business with your family in the past, no doubt you know of him…"

Illya waved a hand in contempt. "I have no interest in every nobody and opportunist my elders deal with. Your family name means nothing to me." Then, before Chizuru could reply in any way or form, Illya looked back to the darkness and called out, "Well? Are you still with us, or did the Heartless kill you while we weren't looking?"

A reluctant female voice replied, "We can't just walk in without doing a proper entrance!"

"Until then, we must stick to the mysterious shadows like good vigilantes," a quieter, almost bashful new voice that sounded dimly familiar to Chizuru added.

Illya rolled her eyes, cocked her fists on her hips, and droned aloud, "Yadda yadda, whenever there's evil that is conveniently weak enough, they'll punish it, protecting the innocent, blah blah. In the name of Venus, Mercury and Mars, Sailor Venus, Mercury and Mars, and some cat. Whenever there's a problem, I'll solve it by burning it, I am the night, I am vengeance, I am Batman."

Sailor Venus angrily stomped her way out of the darkness to stand before Illya and shout in her cute laughing face, "It doesn't work if somebody else does the introduction! Be respectful of the proper protocol, how would you feel if I started mocking magi customs?!"

"I'd have Berserker rip your arms and legs off, naturally," Illya casually answered while Fuuka and Fumika cringed and backed even further away from her. Ku was looking all up and down Berserker's towering frame in muted awe, and Sailors Mercury and Mars were slowly walking into the badly lit part of the boulevard with matching mortified expressions. Kaede was looking Berserker up and down, especially at his feet, then down at herself, and shaking her head muttering about it not fitting. "Now, I don't think my earlier answer was ever answered, and my patience grows thin, are my brothers…?"

"We haven't been able to contact Negi-sensei or any other siblings of yours, I'm sorry," Chizuru said, and Natsumi envied her capacity to take the whole 'Negi-sensei has a psycho sister with a male nudist wrestler at her beck and call' thing at face value so easily. "We were told the Tatsumiya shrine was offering relatively safe haven compared to the dormitories, so we tried to get there on our own…"

"Is Tatsumiya-san okay, then?" Yue asked.

"Tatsumiya-dono's always okay, only the good die young," Kaede actually laughed that off. "We also crossed paths with Zazie-dono not long ago. She left us just as soon, but I'm sure that won't be a problem either. She's with her uncle after all, de gozaru."

"… Rainyday-san has an uncle?" Yue weakly wondered. "A-Anyway, if the shrine's safe, maybe we should head there while we figure out what to do next, don't you think so, Mickey-sama…?"

"Mickey-sama?" Natsumi said. "Who are you talking to now, Yue—oh."

Yet another person was walking out into sight now, and frankly by this point Natsumi thought it was becoming a ridiculous farce of sorts, with all these wacky cosplayers and stripper wrestlers coming out in quick succession with no rhyme or reason. This person of unknown gender or age all wrapped in a black hood spoke with a voice that tried to sound serious but failed at how squeaky it was, not to mention the fact said person was holding a giant key prop attached to their back. "A temple, you mean? Oh gosh. I happened to land my ship near a temple, maybe that's the site you're heading to right now…?"

The twins blinked, stared at each other, and then Fuuka asked something she believed completely reasonable in the face of all the recent mounting insanity.

"Your ship? Are you E.T.?"

Natsumi sighed and rubbed her head. She felt a strange headache coming on.

For some reason, she felt a strong urge to commiserate with Hasegawa-san.

* * *

"... E.T.?" the hooded stranger with the wimpy voice asked, visibly confused. "I, I don't get it, is that supposed to stand for—"

Growing both more agitated and bolder, Fuuka pointed an accusing finger at that person's face. "You're an alien, and you were the one who brought all these aliens to Mahora, aren't you? Well, we're on you, pal! Your scam's off! Your gig's up! Your—"

"Fuuka-chan, pleeze...!" Fumika whined, grabbing her twin by a sleeve and trying to pull her back. "Don't antagonize the alien, are you nuts?! This isn't a cosplayer with a fake tail like Lala-sempai!"

"No, actually, he's kind of an alien from some magical world," Sailor Venus said. "I think he's on our side, though. That's why he still has a head on his shoulders."

"Why are people on this world so needlessly violent?" Mickey muttered in confusion.

Berserker nodded and growled at that while holding a stray random Heartless in an all encompassing hand, then chomped its head off in a single bite and began chewing down. Natsumi shuddered and clung to a Chizuru who patted her head sympathetically.

Fuuka glared at Sailor Venus. "Listen, your cosplay may be decent enough, but you guys aren't fooling anyone, you aren't real magical girls. I mean, look at her, she's not even wearing shoes! What kind of Mahou Shoujo goes around barefoot?!" she demanded, pointing at Sailor Mars' feet.

Shiho frowned, pointed a finger at another, lizard shaped Heartless that passed by trying to escape Berserker, and roasted it to ashes with a small blast of fire. "Fire. Soul," she deadpanned.

Fuuka went silent for a moment before saying, "Okay, so you're an alien too."

"Either way, you don't want to mess with me," Shiho flatly said. She threw her hands up and began walking away. "You know what, screw this, I'm going home! Literally! Oniichan is sure to be with Mana-oneesama, and I've wasted enough time running around in circles with you guys! This is obviously bigger than us, so let's just wait for Superman-sama to arrive and settle things while we hole ourselves up! That's the best thing we can do now!"

Illya looked at her retreating back, then asked Venus, "Why are you the leader instead of her? Because it looks to me she's the most intelligent of you all. Granted, that's not a very high bar to begin with..."

"You wouldn't be half as bratty if you didn't have that guy to watch your back!" Minako told her before reaching over to grab Shiho by a pigtail and stop her advance. "Now listen, you guys, we'll escort you to that temple before continuing our quest for the source of this madness! All you need to know is we're the actual Sailor Senshi, the big guy over there is Hercules, this loli is his Magical Master, and the little guy in the hood is a King from Faraway Land, so treat him with respect so he can save our butts! Okay, that's all, so let's keep on moving before more of those freaks get here!"

Ku Fei nodded. "Okay!"

"Okay, are you sure? Just like that?" Natsumi groaned. "That only raised further questions!"

Chizuru sighed. "Natsumi-chan, can you even listen, much less understand, answers when you're dead?"

"Um, of course not, Chizu-nee, but..."

"Then please let's just go along with the nice people who could have let us die or killed us themselves instead of stopping to ask questions while more shadow creatures arrive to slay us, shall we?" Naba patiently asked while softly pushing her ahead to continue their way.

"Um, okay, when you put it that way, whatever you want, Chizu-nee..."

Illya hummed, then took her eyes off Chizuru to casually comment to Nodoka and Yue, "You know, for a cow, she doesn't seem that bad. First woman from your class I've met who seems to stick to some basic standards of human quality."

"This cow is highly grateful, Einzbern-san," Chizuru coldly said as she kept on walking, not looking back.

Illyasviel smirked and folded her arms behind her back as she happily marched behind, Berserker stuffing a last Heartless down his mouth before following her. "Why, it's nothing! Good to see Negi could at least whip one of you uncultured islanders into proper civilized shape!"

"I no islander, I from Great Continental China," Ku Fei pointed out, sounding somewhat offended.

Fuuka glared. "Are you sure you aren't picking the wrongest possible thing to take offense at?!"

* * *

"There's something I'd like to tell you," Tate Yuuichi said. He was well aware he was starting that conversation in what had to be one of the worst possible ways.

"Then tell me," Tatsumiya Mana coldly said, sitting on the floor facing him, her back against the back wall of the shrine's main room, and reloading her rifle. She sounded just as stoic and professional as ever, hardly like anyone fearing or expecting to die at any moment then.

For a few instants, he regarded the nearly expressionless, tall and bronzed young woman he was alone with. He'd known her for years, almost as long as he had known Shiho, and yet he felt even now he had no solid grasp on her motivations or actual thoughts whatsoever. Keeping that in mind, it was perfectly likely his attraction towards someone who was allegedly younger than him but acted way more older and more mature would be a mere physical crush instead of a real romantic connection towards someone he didn't even know for who she was. Besides, the high school student knew he wasn't her type. She'd made it sufficiently clear more than once.

And yet, even if she gave no outside sign of being afraid for her life, she was no idiot. She had to know the risks were there. And, for all the hints she'd dropped over the years that he wasn't her type and maybe he should start thinking of Shiho already, she also had to know he liked her. So, keeping in mind they could die any moment now, wasn't it better to be finally honest, to say at last the words that were so long overdue, to settle things once and for all before—

"I'm still waiting for that confession," Mana plainly said, her reload finished, her massive gun ready by her side. "They'll start attacking again any second now."

The almost as tall, fair skinned boy blinked, somewhat shaken by her choice of words despite all of his attempts to ready himself. "Con… fession? Ah, ah, well, I'm not sure, you'd want to put it that way, but—"

"I see. I'm sorry, but my answer will still be no," she said, standing up, turning around, and retaking her sniping position by the window. Tate only could hiss in frustration at the back and shapely backside of the hakama-clad miko. "Keep your bokken in hand," she sternly advised, her telescopic sight scanning the night carefully. "And a weapon in the other, if you please. And stop staring at my ass. You know how that bothers Shiho."

In the distance, she could see the vague outline of the thing that had descended from the sky shortly after the creatures arrived. She supposed they were connected, but she could hardly venture out to investigate the vessel and leave Shiho's not-boyfriend alone in the event the monsters returned.

So in the meantime, she waited and kept on shooting at the occasional small party of shadow monstrosities that would approach from time to time, while Tate would bash on the few who could sneak in with his wooden sword, watching her back and despite her words looking at her ass. He'd been lucky he lived close enough and could make it to the temple in time; Mana had contacted a few others through the night, pondering the pros and cons of risking doing a beeline for the shrine, but so far none of them, not even those who had agreed to do it, had arrived yet. Mana couldn't help feeling awful over that, as she suspected she had prodded a few to take unnecessary risks, but staying at the dormitories was hardly any safer either way. Hopefully, at least Nagase would be able to escort Naba and the others to her.

Trying to keep her mind clear of regrets and hopes alike, she shot another shadow lizard crawling through the grass, the blessed bullet dissipated it into nothingness upon impact. Mana was an excellent shooter, meaning no projectile was ever wasted, and the holy ammo was an instant kill against those beasts, but on the negative side, she would run out of them soon, and despite being a priestess her demonic heritage meant she couldn't bless any more bullets afterwards. If the onslaught didn't stop soon, she'd have to resort to unleashing herself, and she really didn't want to have to do that.

In her mother's realm, shortly before escaping into the human world, she had heard of creatures like those. They technically weren't demons, but aberrations created from dead hearts, from souls consumed by darkness, from bodies withered away and crumpled down into bestial, inhuman forms. They were known to be almost as bad as Twilight fans. Her half-sisters had called them, in a few of the stories they would tell her to terrify and traumatize her, Heartless and that long ago, during the First Age of Humans, back when the Silver Kingdom still stood on the Moon, they had first shown up causing a war against the humans under Beryl's rule. A small band of adventurers, rogues and idealists wielding strange weapons had sealed them into a void, but it had been prophesied they would return once more before the end.

"What a bother," Mana finally muttered between clenched teeth.

"Sorry to be a load," Tate muttered back, rotating his still aching right arm, the one holding the training sword. He'd broken it protecting Shiho from gangbangers years ago, but he still could use a bokken with surprising strength and speed over short periods a time. Still, eventually he would invariably pay the price for it, and the resulting pain was always maddening. It burned to the shoulder and beyond, often radiating and pulsating onto his chest, and right now, it only added to an already existing heartache. "And I'm even sorrier… I can't be that man."

"Nobody can be that man, he was unique," Mana grimly observed before taking a step back from the rifle. "That's not what I meant. Shiho's here. She and others are coming up the hill."

Tate perked up and finally felt his spirits raising, because while he couldn't love Shiho back the way she loved him, he always would see her as an annoying but dearly beloved little sister. The actual little sister kind of little sister, not that she's-not-blood-related little sister that was all the rage these days. "Really?! Wait, why are you calling that a bother then?! It's Shiho, for crying out loud! You should be happier to see her! She loves you despite everything and—"

She cracked a hard, yet not completely inhuman smile as she tilted her head back towards him. "I didn't mean it that way either. What bothers me is one of the people coming with her."

"Oh, the ninja?" Tate asked.

"Yeah," Mana grunted out a side of her mouth. "Besides, Shiho is… well, let's just say she isn't exactly dressed for the occasion."

Tate blinked, then frowned. "Okaaaayy… she's hanging with at least one of your classmates, so that means she's being brought along naked, right? Your classmates are freaks. Even your teacher, he acts all that innocent and naive, and even so, he's always stripping girls down one way or another…"

Mana rolled her eyes. "It's not that she's been stripped, although, yes, she IS showing off more skin than usual. You aren't going to recognize her at first, so don't freak out and keep your head on your shoulders. Let me handle this," she added, quickly moving towards the front door.

The boy with the thick brown sideburns tilted his head aside in frustration, and then followed her.

No, he would definitely never understand that woman he liked so much.

* * *

"I don't like this, that's all I'm saying," Minako protested as they stood before the temple's gates, Illya actually being bored enough as to stand aside playing with a PFP she'd found of the ground. Since it hadn't been loaded with a galge but a fighting game, they were reasonably sure it hadn't belonged to Katsuragi Keima. "Too quiet! What if the Heartless already went inside and ki— made off with everyone?"

"Or killed them all," Illya said in less bowdlerized fashion.

"The place's still standing, isn't that proof enough they haven't broken in?" Ako asked.

"All the same," Sailor Venus insisted, "I don't think we should be taking any risks! Just knocking or ringing and hoping for the best? I've seen enough traps of the forces of darkness to recognize one when I see it by now!"

"Doubtful," Akira said. "There isn't a suspiciously familiar-looking pretty boy, a too-good-to-be-true promotion, a hot new fad or free cake involved."

"Twice! I fell for free cake only twice! Let it go already!" Minako said.

"It was the same promotion! With the same cake! In the same place! They even used the same Youma!" Artemis blurted out. At this point, Natsumi and the twins gave him a bewildered, shocked look, but they were too scared to say anything.

"Ringing, you said?" Shiho grumbled. "This is a traditional temple, we don't have a bell! Oneesama is antiquated as heck in anything not related to firearms or fashions! Besides, what are you suggesting we do?"

"Well," Sailor Venus lectured, "a typical heroic entrance in cases like this calls for kicking the door down or entering from above, preferably through a skylight. That always takes the bad guys by surprise and grants you a valuable tactic edge, although honestly, they should know better by this point..."

"So the stories are true, superheroes just don't get the concept of doors," Fuuka marveled.

"Hey, do I make fun of you ninja not getting the concept of STDs?!" Venus shot back.

"We aren't kicking or punching the door down!" Sailor Mars angrily shot the idea down just as Illya began opening her mouth again, no doubt to volunteer Berserker for the task (not that it would be an actual task for him, as he no doubt could take the door down with a fart in its general direction). "You break that door, and do you know who'll have to pay for it and put it back on? Me, that's who! You guys will just disappear back into the night like Gojira going into the sea after leveling a city!"

"That's a messed up use of comparisons if I've ever seen one," Yue observed. "Accurate, but messed up."

"Um, there's no need to shatter any doors," the hooded stranger said, holding his giant keychain prop up, "with this, I can open any—"

Ku Fei threw her hands up, mumbled something in a quite frustrated and exasperated Chinese, and simply stomped up for the door, knocking on it twice and giving the people behind her a dirty look over her shoulder.

Minako frowned. "Okay. That's a Baka alright."

"It's not that much dumber than spending several moments arguing out loud in the open while in the middle of a massive invasion of monsters," Yue pointed out while rubbing her dry throat and hoping Mana would have something nice and fresh to drink in there. Hell, by now she'd even accept soda. Not milk though, she had standards.

The front door of the temple slid open, making Minako, Shiho and Akira break into immediate defensive poses that only coincidentally looked like the Charlie's Angels pose, while Illya halfheartedly held Berserker back, inwardly wondering if she shouldn't just kill everyone right away after all. Mars' posture relaxed greatly with a sigh of relief when she got a good look at the person who'd just opened the door. "Ah! Oneesama!"

Tatsumiya Mana, after acknowledging Ku Fei with a brief nod and even briefer high-five, stared at her apprentice and told her, "You know, Shiho, not like I want to tell you how to do your after hours job, but I don't think you should be addressing me as your Oneesama while in your secret identity and before several people who are complete strangers."

Shiho groaned and waved a hand. "Give me a break, it's been a long night, you're doing it even worse by calling me by name, and anyway this girl here isn't a stranger, we know her, she's the one who wanted to kill everyone a few nights ago."

Natsumi's right eyebrow twitched. "Is that how you decide someone is familiar enough as to let them into your house?"

"Go back with the Heartless if our ways bother you that much, Freckles-san," Shiho curtly told her before asking Mana, "Is Oniichan here with you? He is, isn't he? Because he must be, I've been— Oh!" she gasped, noticing the boy who was just coming right behind Mana, staring at her with wide, shocked eyes. Instantly, she felt just as bad as she'd felt that day when she tried to be honest to him about her secret identity, only to end up with a miserable failure of a confession attempt. She looked down and gasped, quickly breaking into a stammering mess. "I, I, I mean, um, good evening, ah, average fellow citizen, stud-student of Mahora, I was just, I was just asking over the safety of a, a well known kendo star of the local circuit, that's what us Mahou Shoujo do, there's no-nothing wrong or weird about that..."

Tate's eyes had grown starry-eyed and starstruck at the sight of that mysterious, elegant looking stranger with no shoes and donning a scarlet microskirt standing right on the temple's doorstep. His jaw grew slightly loose and he could only wave a hand and weakly mumble something that barely passed as a greeting that made Shiho's look perfectly coherent and well-reasoned.

Artemis and Akira blinked, then shared a knowing nod, smile and wink with each other. On the other hand, Minako had taken a risk by wandering away, far enough as to reach a nearby tree and start bashing her forehead against it. "A proper entrance! A single proper entrance tonight, that's all I'm asking for! With a nice little In the Name of Venus speech, is that too much? Why do you hate me so much, Kami-sama, why?!"

* * *

 _Wonderland:_

Now, Negi, Alice, Asuna, Skuld, the Hare, the Seven of Hearts and Gadget sat in that order, before a very tall stand painted in checkered red and black, in the middle of a gigantic garden surrounded by bushes of red roses (a few of which suspiciously dripped red paint). Behind the garden, there was a majestic white castle with four towers that were even higher than those of Mahora, so Asuna was fairly impressed by that, and not so much by the bizarre menagerie of colorful beings populating the audience and the jury stands of the hastily concocted royal court. She'd been to last year's Mahorafest after all, and honestly, it didn't compare.

Alice could recognize Mr. Dodo, happily puffing on his pipe, among the jury, along with the hapless looking Bill the Lizard, still coated in chimney ash. There also was an odd little man in a Fauntleroy suit, shaped like a white egg, which was mighty strange because he wasn't supposed to be in the book this story was based onto. There also were several other clothed animals whispering to each other and occasionally pointing thumbs at the defendants, then ran fingers across their own throats and shaking their heads.

Alice cringed at that, on the verge of tears, but Negi reached over to gently pat her small hand. "Don't worry. I happen to know some customs of this kingdom. The Queen of Hearts is always sentencing her subjects to death, but the King will always pardon them later, behind her back, before the sentences can be carried over," he told her in a low voice.

"That's in the book, Negi," a somber Skuld said, gripping her mallet. Thank the Father the card soldiers, with their paper brains, were not smart enough as to take it away from her. "In the book."

Negi gave her a confused glare. "Do you mean there are other versions?"

Skuld glared back. "You never watched a lot of TV, did you?"

"I wasn't even aware there was a book…" Asuna mused.

"Somebody wrote a book about my life without my consent? That is awfully rude from them," Alice opined. "And my family could have used the publishing royalties!"

"Ask Reverend Dobson next time you meet him," Skuld muttered.

Alice was about to ask what that nice man had to do with any of this when she was interrupted by the blare of a trumpet. "Mr. Rabbit!" Alice said with a returning smile.

The White Rabbit stood before the royal stand, lowering his golden trumpet and announcing in a loud and clear voice, "Everyone stand up for the most excellent, most glorious, most wise, most benevolent, most magnificent, most fair, most beautiful Red Queen of Hearts! And the King," he added as an afterthought, before quickly stepping aside and saluting.

The audience, the attendants and the jury all stood while an imposing, bulky figure in checkered red and black made her pompous way to the podium, bulbous nose high, thick, chubby arms cradling a golden scepter with a heart at its tip. Her dress was so long it hid her feet from sight, and there was a very tall golden crown on her head. Her hair was black and slick, bunched up into a bum, and her eyes were large, round and black, with long and thick eyelashes. Behind her marched a tiny man who had to hurry comically just to keep up to her step, short legs barely up to the task, his crown obviously too big for his size, his powdered wig only adding to his sense of ridiculousness rather than giving him any dignity. Negi was reminded of the fish that lived in the deepest trenches of the ocean, the females being huge, hideous predators, the males being diminutive parasites that fused on the females' bodies to act as their sperm banks.

The domineering figure of the Queen stopped behind her podium, took hold of a mallet, and slammed it down. "GUILTY! OFF WITH THEIR HEADS!" she shouted.

"Guilty! Off with their heads!" the King nodded and clapped his doll hands.

Asuna glared at Negi. "So the King would spare us, right?"

"Darned Adaptation Decay!" Negi groaned.

Alice stood up, nearly jumping. "Your Honor, I mean, Your Majesty, I protest! We can't be found guilty until the trial is over!"

"Well, it is over now," the Queen's wide shoulders shrugged. "Is there any time limit on how lengthy trials should be? Because I don't remember ever writing any. And you have just further proved your guilt by objecting to my decisions."

"I'm all up for the trial to be over right now," the March Hare observed, "as long as it means the tea ceremony will follow immediately."

The Queen nodded and gestured with her mallet towards the Hare. "Do you see, young lady? Your accomplice accepts the Queen's wisdom. So we only will cut half of his neck."

"Oh, that's good to know!" the Hare breathed in relief. "Which half?"

Alice facepalmed.

Negi swallowed, then said, "But Your Majesty, wouldn't that mean your valuable time has been wasted, then? After all, they made you come here, only for you to dictate a verdict so quickly?"

The Queen blinked, frowned, then hesitantly said, "Well… there is some truth to your words. Who has dared staged a lightning trial, only to make me waste my time like this? It took me more time to come here than to listen to the testimony and debate the facts! Who is responsible for this?"

The assembled cards gasped, then began to frantically point at each other, over the next few moments, before all settling on pointing at Three of Hearts, even himself. Then he realized that and gasped in horror.

The Queen slammed her mallet again. "GUILTY! OFF WITH HIS HEAD!"

Then she looked at Negi's group again. "We will listen to your case now. This morning, one of your shadow creatures came to my palace and tried to steal my heart. It was only due to the efforts of our private guard, it could be driven off. Are you going to deny that fact?"

Negi was fairly impressed. For all of their silly appearances, those soldiers had to be very good at their job, if they could hold their own against a major Heartless like the Bat Knight.

"How are you so sure it was after your heart, ma'am?" Asuna asked. "Did it talk to you, or—"

"You will not answer a question with another question!" the Queen bellowed. "You will answer with the answer we asked from you!"

"Well," Alice said, "we aren't aware of the facts that transpired while we weren't here, but if you say that's what happened to you, we couldn't possibly put a Queen's word in doubt, so it must have happened, but…!"

"That sounds like a confession of guilt to us! Off with her head!" the Queen cried.

"Undeniably!" the King nodded quickly.

"I only said it must have happened, not that we had anything to do with it!" Alice protested.

"Where is our lawyer anyway?" Asuna asked. "For that matter, we weren't even given the 'you have the right to remain silent' speech! That arrest wasn't valid! I cry fowl!"

"Foul," Negi corrected.

"Whatever!"

"You should ask this man instead," Alice pointed at the Hare. "He was the one with the short, awful man who sicced that monster on us!"

"Which short awful man?" the Queen asked.

"A hatter," Gadget answered. "Who was quite mad."

"All of us are mad here," a crooning voice said from nowhere. "I am mad, you are mad, and the Queen is the maddest of all..."

"Who said that?" the Queen looked in all directions. "I want their head off! That's the worst thing anyone has ever said to us!"

"I, I don't know!" the King gulped, while he and everyone else also looked around for the source of the mysterious voice. "I could have been anyone!"

"Well, then we want for everyone's heads off!" the Queen huffed.

"Even the executioner's?" Skuld asked.

"Especially the executioner's!" the Queen waved a hand. "I never liked him anyway!"

"But who would behead the executioner, My Love?" the King asked.

"Couldn't he just behead himself? Why must I think think of everything? It's like no one else has a head on their shoulders!"

"But why would the executioner behead himself?" Alice asked.

"Because otherwise we'll have him beheaded, of course!" the Queen said, frankly appalled at this girl's stupidity. Perhaps she wouldn't miss anything after her head was off.

"I think," Negi opined, "our case should wait until the Mad Hatter is brought here to answer for his role in this affair. After all, a proper trial can't be carried over without the whole weight of the available evidence."

"And," Skuld added, "it would give you one more head to cut off."

"Skuld-san!" Negi hissed.

"Trust me! I know what I'm doing!"

The Queen scowled, then rubbed her round, doughy chin thoughtfully. "One more head…? One on which sits a tall, beautiful top hat…? Well, there is no problem that cannot be fixed by taking one more head off. Even so, how can I be sure you aren't just stalling for time?"

Skuld smiled. "You have my word on it! And that's the word of a goddess!"

"Should he be charming her by now?" Asuna muttered, looking between Negi and the Queen of Hearts with a frown. "Of all the times for his strange sex appeal to conk out on us..."

* * *

 _Mahora:_

"Okay," Tate asked while Mana quickly ushered the girls, lurching threatening giant, hooded weirdo and assorted small animals in, "I've gotta ask now, where's Shiho? 'Cause Mana-san here told me Shiho was coming too, and I don't see her with you, it's she—"

As Sailor Mars began coughing all of a sudden, Sailor Mercury calmly said, "Munakata-san is perfectly okay at this time, Sempai. Would you like to see her now?"

"You too, Mercury-san?!" Mars whined while Mana smiled and closed the doors. "Anyway, no, you can't tell him where we left Munakata-san!"

"Why not?" the boy frowned.

"Yes, why not, Sailor Mars-sama?" Chizuru asked innocently.

Mars gave the busty girl a poisonous glare before simply summing up for the boy, "She's fine, she doesn't want you to worry, she wants you to do your best to survive until the big guns arrive and take care of this situation. Tatsumiya-san is, ah, an occasional ally of ours, so we thought—"

"Mana-san," Nodoka interrupted, walking up to the miko, "we'd like to see if your special sight could help Mickey-sama here find the gate through which these demons are pouring into this world. You can do that, can't you?"

Natsumi blinked. "Wait, what special sight? And really, demons? Aren't they supposed to be aliens? What gate are you talking about, it stands to reason they'd come through spaceships or something like that..."

Mana hummed thoughtfully. "Aliens, demons, you could call them either way, and yet none would be completely accurate. Hmmm. I'm not sure, I've never had the chance to scan for anything like this before. I've heard about creatures with descriptions that match these beings' appearances, but until tonight, I'd never seen one myself. Afer all, no one goes near the Twilight fanclub or the SOS Brigade if they know what's good for them."

"Wait a second," Fuuka said, "are you some sort of paranormal researcher or something?"

"You could say I'm the equivalent to an exorcist in my line of work," Mana smiled at the gasping twins. "I've dealt with many things you wouldn't believe even if you saw them, but I'm supposed to keep that a secret."

"Not much of a point on secret when whole world swarming with alien demons," Ku Fei observed.

"That's right, I suppose," Mana sighed. "I'm not even sure I'll be able to charge much after this. Even assuming the school still stands, my contract—"

"About that," lllya said, "I don't think your Headmaster will be able to pay you anyway. The mastermind behind this left him frozen solid before Berserker chased her away."

Mana paused, for once showing actual signs of surprise and distress. "Headmaster Konoe?!"

"No way!" Natsumi gasped. "Y-You hadn't said anything about that!"

"Yeah, well, kind of hard to do that while we run through the night trying to dodge Heartless creatures," Yue half-shrugged. "Illya-san said he's still likely alive, though. It's the girl from Kyoto, Mana-san. She was the one who did it."

"The albino?" Mana asked, and Nodoka and Yue nodded. "Great, just great. I suppose she's looking for Konoka again?"

"She mentioned wanting Negi-sensei and Asuna-san," Nodoka said, "but she never mentioned Konoka-san. M-Maybe she's got her already?"

"Does this have anything to do with all those criminals who attacked us in Cinema Town?" Natsumi guessed, and was answered with a few nods from Ku Fei and Kaede. "Aw, nuts! What have you guys been up this whole time?!"

The hooded figure, after standing aside watching in analytical silence, heaved a sigh. "Okay, listen, then," he said, making all looks turn towards him. "There's something in my ship that might help us. I'll try contacting my friends, they were out looking for your teacher's father, and if they've got any hints, they might be a great assistance here. I only need a few of you to go with me there, so I can radio—"

"Negi-sensei's father, you mean?" Natsumi interrupted, frankly bewildered by now. "And what's he gotta do with this anyway?!"

"Father always had a finger in every pie, literal and figuratively," Illya snickered bitterly.

Tate blinked. "You're Negi-sensei's little sister?!"

"BIG sister!" she corrected him. "I'm the big sister, he's the little brother!"

Tate paused, taken aback, and then pointed up at the viciously growling Berserker. "Is he part of the family, too?"

"Let's just say he's adopted," Illya shrugged.

Tate blinked a few more time, then raised his hands and faintly said, "Fair enough."

* * *

 _Traverse Town:_

"My repeated failures at locating her can only mean one of two things," Hakase declared grimly, pacing back and forth before the assembled Chisame, Matoi, Sakurako and Cid at the latter's workshop. Cid sat smoking a cigarette and utterly failing to look like he gave a shit. Matoi melded like a shadow to Chisame's back, much to Hasegawa's annoyance; on unknown grounds, the older girl fell back onto old habits instead of sitting at Chisame's side, which would have been less unnerving. Sakurako put on her best long mortified face, twiddling her fingers on her knees. "Since we haven't scanned any new ships leaving or entering our current aerial space, either Chachamaru has returned to the sub-dimension located within Evangeline's cottage, or some new transdimensional anomaly has claimed her."

"So we just walk back into Eva's and see if she's there," Sakurako groaned. "What's so difficult about that? Why are we stalling so much?"

"Do we need to remind you of how Eva was acting last time we saw her?" Chisame asked.

"So what, even if she's grumpier than usual, she won't hurt us," Sakurako said. "I mean, she could have done it before leaving, and yet she didn't."

"Only because we weren't pushing ourselves on her and into her house," Chisame said. "As the current de facto leader, no matter how much I may hate it, you're all... ugh... my responsibility now, and I'm not letting you get close to Eva until we're sure it's safe."

"No, I think Sakurako-chan's right!" Satomi stopped to face her roommate. "Negi wouldn't want us to abandon a teammate… friend… daughter to her own devices near an Evangeline-san in an altered state of mind!"

"You can walk directly onto Eva-sama's toes and get frozen for all I care, Forehead-san," Matoi said, "but I won't have you undermining Chisame-sama's authority while doing so. And you know everybody else in Ala Alba will support Chisame-sama's decision. Since, you know, even Haruna-san's not that insane."

"Guys," Aerith pushed the workshop's door open, "can you spare a moment? I was knocking, but—"

"If necessary, I'll go alone with Sakurako-chan and Itoshiki-sensei!" Satomi argued.

"The skinny weirdo? Why him?" Cid asked.

"Well, he'll seize any chance he has to place himself in mortal peril…" Satomi explained.

"You have a visitor, in the event you're interested…" Aerith said.

"We're supposed to be all together in this! And we aren't going there all together, so we're staying here all together until Negi returns!" Chisame was telling Satomi.

"Chisame," Satomi said, "I'm Chachamaru's mother before being a member of Ala Alba! Don't force me to choose between one and the other!"

"And before being Chachamaru's mother, you were the daughter of… of… whoever your parents happen to be! Do you want me to give them the news I let their daughter get frozen to death by a mad vampire on an alien world?!"

"Out of all the sentences I never thought I'd ever heard…" Cid pondered.

Aerith clapped her hands loudly and stomped a foot on the floor. "Will someone start paying attention to me already?!"

Chisame, Matoi, Satomi, Sakurako and Cid all turned their heads around to look at her.

Aerith's cheeks went briefly pink before she hummed and hawed, with a fist on her mouth. "Sorry. Miss Chachamaru has just made it back. I thought you'd want to know…"

"Chachamaru!" Satomi joyfully ran past Aerith and into the arms of the girl who had just stepped behind her. "I knew no harm could have befallen such a perfect specimen of advanced engineering!" she said, sinking her face into Chachamaru's stomach as the gynoid tenderly caressed her hair.

"I'm glad to see you again as well, Mother," Chachamaru said quietly. "And you as well," she bowed for the others. "However, I feel I must ask… where is Negi-sensei at the time?"

"Well, he took the spaceship and left for another planet with Asuna-chan, Skuld-chan, Chamo-kun and some mouse girl we found in the ship," Sakurako answered. "Apparently they think they can find Negi's dad and some clues on how to get back home."

"Ah," Chachamaru said. "That would explain why, as Konoe-san told me while greeting me, Iinchou-san has been locked up in her room crying over the whole last day."

"Yeah, it would explain it," Chisame dryly said. "And how's Evangeline doing, by the way?"

"I'm not sure. She is undergoing some heavy emotional turmoil at the moment, and I decided to leave her handle it by herself for the time being. I believe she's having the midlife crisis my alternate self warned me of."

"Uh-huh. You did that after Eva kicked you out?" Chisame guessed.

"Well, that was a factor greatly involved in my decision, yes…"

* * *

 **To be Continued**.


	11. The Laughing Cat

Akamatsu Ken and Kodansha own _Mahou Sensei Negima!_

The Walt Disney Company owns all the Disney stuff.

We make no money from this.

Disclaimer: the authors of this work do not actually think Anglicans are stupid. What Norse goddess might think is another matter, but that's not us. The opinions of Norse goddesses are not endorsed by these writers.

* * *

 **The Keys of the Kingdom HD 2.8 Final Chapter Prologue Turbo Hyper Champion Edition Gold**.

 **By OverMaster and Shadow Crystal Mage**.

* * *

 **Chapter Nine**.

* * *

 _Wonderland:_

"So," said the Queen, clearly unimpressed, "you are a goddess."

"That I am," Skuld nodded, smiling.

"You should know as well as I do, there is only one God, and you also know blasphemy is almost a serious a crime as insulting the queen," the Queen remarked, moving her mallet in circles. "We're all proper Anglicans here, you know!"

"So what are you going to do then? Cut her other head as well…?" chuckled the voice that Alice recognized as that of the Cat.

The Queen looked in all directions again. "By the end of the trial, you'd better have found that scoundrel, or all heads here will roll!"

"Did I ever say I was a god?" Skuld asked. "I said I am a goddess. Does your Bible say anything about there being only one goddess?"

The Queen opened her huge mouth, frowned, closed it back, rubbed her jaw for a moment, then asked, more reluctant, "And what proof do you have to give of your divinity?"

"You are on the throne, aren't you?" Skuld asked.

"Actually, right now, she's standing at our courtyard, presiding over your—" the King began.

His wife bopped his head down. "She means I'm the current sovereign, you fool!"

Skuld nodded. "And kings and queens remain in power because the deities wish it so. I wish for you to remain in power, because seriously, who wouldn't? So that proves I'm a goddess, since my will is for you to rule, and you rule."

There were numerous murmurs and nods of approval both in the public and jury, while Gadget, Alice and Asuna simply sat in a stupefied silence and Negi had violent flashbacks to Kafka reading assignments. The Queen blushed lightly at the flattery, then coughed and softly rapped the mallet. "While your words hold a lot of wisdom and common sense, this court would like to see a display of your divine powers before issuing an opinion."

"Very well," Skuld said. "When mortals ask me for proof, I always give them two choices. I can display my power by razing their whole country to ashes and charred bone, or I can display it through the miracle of the two hot water glasses. Which would you prefer, chosen of the Heavens?"

The Queen blinked, then ordered the White Rabbit, "Bring us two glasses of hot water on the double!"

The Rabbit swallowed loudly, saluted clumsily, then ran out of sight as fast as he could, to return seconds later holding a glass of steaming water in each paw. "Is this, is this hot enough for you?" he reverently asked, offering both glasses to Skuld.

She hummed, touched them with the tip of a finger, and nodded. "Your offering pleases the goddess. Set them down on the grass, at least five feet apart from each other."

As the Rabbit fearfully did so, the Queen pulled a out pair of spectacles and put them on, staring intently. The audience and the jury also looked on expectantly, while the King clutched on to his consort's dress. Skuld stepped before one of the glasses, placed a foot above one of them, and then disappeared in a flash, making everyone but Negi, Skuld and Asuna gasp. A moment later, she reappeared above the other glass, arms wide open. "Ta-daaaaa!"

The public broke into shocked gasps and interjections, and then into frantic clapping and cheering. Even the Queen seemed visibly impressed. She stood up and proclaimed, "Welcome to our kingdom… O Goddess of Hot Water!"

"… goddess of the future…" Skuld mumbled lowly, before adding in a higher voice. "So, um, as you can see, I hold unspeakable power over the forces of nature, and unless you allow us to go, I shall wreck havoc upon your homeland, blah blaah blah, doom and gloom. Can we go now?"

"As long as you bring me the Mad Hatter's head," the Queen regained her deep, stern scowl. "Preferably attached to his body, so we can separate them personally."

"That can't be, we don't condone murder, not even if it is—" Negi started.

"Done!" Skuld nodded firmly.

"Skuld-san!" Negi cried.

"What? It's not murder, it's an official government execution after a just trial. That's totally cool. Even Batman would be okay with that."

"And of course," the Queen added, "while we never would dream of holding a goddess against her will, we are still going to keep one of you detained until you deliver the true guilty party to us."

"Please don't smite us," the King begged.

Skuld grimaced, then, as she felt all stares on her, most of them in terror, swallowed. "W-Well, I am a benevolent goddess, so of course I will humor your, ah, mortal petition and hold my almighty hand from burning your planet just yet. So… who are we supposed to sacrifice, I mean, leave under your custody in the meantime?"

* * *

"Dammit, Skuld, Brat, I'm not going to forget this! Ever!" Asuna fumed as she clutched the bars of the giant cage she had been stuck into, which hung next to the royal stand, flanked by two armed cards. "I'm a political prisoner! Call Amnesty International! Call on the Headmaster! Konoka knows very good lawyers! I'm sure money won't be an issue! _Damn it, where's Chamo when you need him for something like this?-!-?-!-?-!-?_ "

"Well, you were the one carrying this, Asuna-san," Negi sheepishly said, holding Asuna's sword with a certain amount of visible effort, "so perhaps they thought you were the most dangerous of us?"

"Actually," the Queen said from the stand while flipping through a flamingo cricket program, "I just can't trust anyone who wears bells in her hair."

"Ah, that sounds reasonable enough," Gadget nodded.

"When I get outta here, I'm going to stock up on mousetraps!" Asuna promised.

"Anyway," the Queen said, stifling a yawn, "you have until nightfall to find this Mad Hatter and bring him to us, with evidence he is the mastermind behind the attack on my royal person. Or else, this bell-wearing head shall roll at the chopping block. That will be all for now, court is in recess, is anyone up for a game of cricket in the meantime?"

"Before you go," the March Hare eagerly asked Skuld, "can you do the water trick again for me? It's my unbirthday, after all!"

Skuld sighed. "Okay, all right, get me two more glasses and let's make it quick…"

* * *

"In any criminal investigation," recitated Negi, who had been taught Magical Crime Detection Basics in Merdiana, and had been disheartened when he learned the advanced courses only could be taken after hitting fifteen years of age, "it's important to go back to the crime scene and look for any clues the perpetrator might have left behind. That can tell you not only about the culprit's identity, which we already know in this case, but about their whereabouts, which is what we need to learn now."

He knelt in the middle of Tetch's wrecked tea party, carefully going over the shattered remains of the Hatter's chair, occasionally adjusting his tiny bifocals to look at a particular strand of loose hair or minuscule piece of shoe dirt. "You know," mused Gadget, who stood slightly apart with Alice and Skuld, "I've been wondering about those glasses. They seemed too small to work properly on someone your size, but…"

He smiled somewhat sheepishly, back at her. "Yes, they are specifically designed to help me in the analysis of magical particles. Magic, like everything else, leaves a faint trail behind, even after a certain scene has been cleaned. If anything, contamination is more harmful to research than cleansing, since it brings further elements you can't be sure were part of the original incident or not. Tetch is no magical adept, so the means to control and create Heartless must have been bestowed upon him by someone else. And yet, by their own nature, the Queen's soldiers must be of magical origins as well. So, when they walked all over this scene, they erased a lot of what Tetch left behind…"

He sighed, pressed Asuna's card against his forehead again, and asked, "How are things going over there, Asuna-san?"

 _Fatso's still playing cricket with the other weirdos,_ Asuna's voice reported, _and they seem to have forgotten about me. She's sentenced three talking birds and two noblemen to death already. What a sore loser. You already caught up to Hatter?_

"Not yet, I'm sorry," the boy said. "Please hang in there, Asuna-san. We're doing our best."

 _Well, try doing your fastest too!_ Asuna protested. _If you don't make it back soon, they're going to make me one head shorter!_

"Asuna-san," he evenly said, "there's nothing to worry about."

 _YOU of all people are saying that?!_

"If we fail to meet the deadline," he said, "I'll just use the card to summon you to my side, that's all."

 _..._

"Asuna-san?"

 _...!_

"Asuna-san, are you okay?"

 _NO, OF COURSE I'M NOT OKAY! BECAUSE YOU LEFT ME IN THIS STINKY BIRDCAGE WHEN YOU COULD HAVE TAKEN ME OUT ANY TIME YOU WANTED TO! Why haven't you transported me yet?!_

"Because," Negi said, "we can't let the Queen of Hearts know we can, not yet. If we do that, she'll just send more guards after us, and they'll keep getting in our way before we can find and stop the Mad Hatter. Besides, you'll be safer there for the moment. If we need your help, I'll make sure to summon you."

 _SAFER HERE?! I'm surrounded by mad people who want to chop my head off!_

"They won't do it yet, and until the deadline's up, you're safer there than you'd be out in the open," Negi reasoned. "You have nice, thick metal bars to protect you."

 _Oh! So, you'd have left everyone else caged as well, if you could have?_

"..." it was Negi's turn to say.

 _NEGI, YOU IDIOT!_

Negi lowered the card and sighed. "The labor of an educator is often harsh and unthanked."

* * *

Asuna lowered her card and seethed to herself. "Honestly, that damn brat! Chisame's too soft on him! I'd have whipped him into shape already!"

Then she saw one of the two card soldiers standing guard next to her cage making amorous eyes on her direction. "Why, hello there, gorgeous..." he crooned.

Asuna grimaced. "No offense, Mister, but you're not my type!"

The card made a disgusted face. "Who was talking to you, ruffian? I was talking to her!" And he lovingly pointed at Asuna's Pactio card. "Such a lovely beauty! What are you doing in such bad companies?"

"... she has my face, you know," Asuna said.

"Yes, but she makes it work!"

"Oh, for the love of—!"

* * *

"I am certainly impressed," Alice said, hands intertwined before her. "Magic has more practical applications than I'd ever have thought possible. And the way Miss Skuld used her magic to make the Queen think she was a goddess was very intelligent, as well."

"Actually, I _am_ a goddess," Skuld said.

Alice blinked, then laughed gently. "W-Well, that's a rather funny joke, but we all know there's only one God in Heaven, and please don't tell me the same answer you gave the Queen...!"

"But I am a..." Skuld tossed her hands up. "You know what, forget it!"

Alice nodded. "Because a real goddess could have actually just razed this whole country to the ground, not that I'm saying you should have done it."

"Sure, think whatever you want," Skuld pouted. "Stupid Anglicans, this is really going too far and too long just to justify one little divorce...!"

"Ah-hah!" Negi cried, bringing their attention back to him. "I found it! A trail Tetch must have left while he fled the scene!" Eagerly, he rushed through a narrow pass between the bushes, followed by the girls... only to stop abruptly with an anguished gasp.

The small dog with a broom for a head who had been diligently wiping the Hatter's trail up to that point, coming from a direction opposite to Negi's, looked up as the boy screeched to a halt before it, then jumped on all fours and quickly ran back into the woods.

Negi drooped to his knees on the dirt. "Darn it! Where's Milky Holmes or someone from the detective school annex when you need them..."

Alice sighed. "Yes, he's done the same thing to me before you found me, I'm afraid..."

Negi took his hands to his head. "Ahhh! What are we supposed to do now?! I can't even fly up and search from above! The forest is too dense for that to work!"

"What if we just summon Miss Asuna, cut our losses, and leave to try for the next world?" Gadget suggested. "By this point it's clear we won't find King Mickey, your father, or anything of any scientific value here."

"All these strange creatures aren't of any scientific interest to you?" Alice asked. "I'm sure Professor Darwin, one of my father's colleagues, would find them extremely interesting..."

"They are too illogical to be scientific," Gadget waved a hand.

"Your concept of science is obviously just tinkering around with household items," Skuld muttered.

Negi exhaled. "We can't just leave and let Tetch do what he wants here!"

"That's right," Gadget said, "but if we find King Mickey first, he'd be far more qualified to deal with this situation. For starters, he could convince the Queen to help him, since they're equals..."

"I know a solution!" a voice triumphantly proclaimed from within Alice's dress. "One of you should try a Pactio with my bro here!"

"EEEEEEEEEEE!" Alice shrieked, leaping back and shaking her skirt energetically, then quickly stomping, several times on what fell off it even before realizing it kept on screaming with a highly human voice.

 _ **"ANIMAL ABUSEEEEEEE!"**_

"Oh, there you are, Chamo-san," Skuld deadpanned. "I was starting to wonder where you were."

"Seriously?" Gadget asked. "To be perfectly honest, I'd forgotten about him altogether."

"Me too, but I was trying to be kind," Skuld easily confessed.

A sniffling Negi picked the beaten, twisted ermine and held him close to his chest. "Really, why are you girls always picking on Chamo one way or another?"

"I think I see many nightmare pink elephants on parade!" Chamo gurgled.

"Oh dear!" Alice gasped. "I'm sorry, I thought it was something in my dress, not... _someone_ in my dress," she finished, her tone changing as realization set in towards the end. "On second thought, perhaps I am not so sorry after all."

"I'm sure it was just an accident. Chamo-kun is very accident prone like that. He can't help it!" Negi argued.

"No, Haruna's boyfriend is very accident prone like that and can't help it. Chamo's just a freak," Skuld said.

"I'm not!" Chamo protested.

"We've just met Alice-san, and you already want to set her up in a Pactio with Negi! For shame!" Skuld began wagging a finger at him. Then she realized what she had just shouted, and bit her tongue. "Ah, crap. Three, two, one..."

"What's a Pactio?" Alice innocently asked.

"Oooohhh boy, here we go..." Skuld ran a hand down her own face. "Has Aphrodite been messing with this kid? Is that it? Really, why...!"

"Chamo-kun, I don't think this is the right time..." Negi said.

"Basically, a Pactio or provisional alliance is a sub-system of magic through which a person who decides to help a mage gains ex-tra-or-din-na-ry powers from that mage!" Chamo told Alice, ignoring Negi altogether. "That person then becomes the 'Minister' to the mage's 'Magister'. Negi here already has alliances with several fortunate girls who have gained incredible powers, including Asuna."

"Oh dear. That sounds pretty advantageous, even if also adventurous," Alice said. "Could I gain the power to leave this world if I did that too?"

Chamo shrugged. "You never know for sure before doing the alliance, but nothing to lose by trying. It's a very simple procedure!"

"Then I'd like to do it as well, assuming the Professor doesn't mind!" Alice brought her hands together.

"No," Negi bluntly said.

"But why?" Alice and Gadget asked at once.

Negi looked aside and blushed. "There are several ways to establish a Pactio, but the only one we know how to do is… it's something I couldn't possibly ask from a proper English young lady I've just met."

Alice clasped both hands against her mouth as her face went beet red.

"Don't make her think weird things!" Chamo said. "It's only a kiss!"

"A kiss!" Alice gasped, horrified. Then she thought it better and asked, "Wait. Do you mean kiss on the forehead, or the cheek? Like an average greeting? Because that doesn't sound too bad…"

"It has to be a kiss on the lips," Skuld mumbled.

Alice grew even more agitated. "On the lips! So, Miss Asuna is your fiancée?!"

"Wha—NO! We're only good friends!" Negi claimed.

"Good friends don't kiss each other in the mouth!" Alice said. "That's something only married couples, and engaged couples at worst, should ever do! And to think I believed you were a gentleman!"

"Where we come, it isn't such a big deal, actually…" Chamo pointed out.

"It is when the kisser is of Negi's age," Skuld muttered.

"Well," Alice told Chamo, "then the customs of your place of origin are more scandalous than those they have here! That is it, I'm leaving!" she swiftly turned around on her heels. "I don't feel safe around people with such… decadent habits!"

"You don't have to kiss anyone! We don't go around just offering kisses to everyone we meet!" Negi said.

"All the same, I can't trust you anymore!" Alice began walking away. "I'd prefer to try my luck with these insane people! At least they don't… do unmentionable things to women!"

But Negi already was in front of her, standing on her way and startling her. "I can't let you go until we have solved this situation! There's a man out there who has an obsession with ladies modeled after you, and he's far more dangerous than we ever could be! You might just wander into his clutches!"

Alice folded her arms and closed her eyes. "So, is this a kidnapping?"

"Call it however you please, but it's not like you can escape us anyway," Skuld said. "Besides, you're on parole. If you just leave, Asuna will be killed in your place. Is that something a proper English lady would do?"

Gadget chuckled nervously. "I don't think it's such a huge deal either way, but if it makes Miss Alice uncomfortable, we should consider other alternatives instead. If we put our minds together, I'm sure we can—"

"Well, if you ask for my opinion, as well as if you don't," a disembodied voice said, playful and chuckling, "many empty minds brought together only add up to an even bigger void!"

"The Cheshire Cat!" Alice recognized the voice immediately.

"In the teeth!" a huge, leering grin suspended in the air floated down to ground level, where a big, striped, purple cat waving a long fluffy tail materialized around the grin, whiskers sticking out in all directions. "And now in the flesh as well!"

There was a beat.

"Is it just me, or does he kinda remind you of Haruna?" Skuld said.

* * *

 _Traverse Town:_

Traverse Town, by day, was actually far more disturbing and eerie than at night. After dark, it was just yet another ghost town like all those Evangeline had visited—or caused—long ago while traveling the world. By day, stripped of darkness, the ruin and decay of what once had clearly been a thriving urban center between realms, a port of commerce and exotic exchange, was all the more evident, reduced to dusty ruin between which scarce survivors and errant children from other worlds spent most of their time distrusting and avoiding each other.

Just like Evangeline was right now distrusting and avoiding Ala Alba, although the irony was completely lost on her.

"Are you sure this is the place?" she asked the toy she was holding negligently by its legs, the still-shiny spaceman. She wore a dark robe and hood that concealed all of her but her face, and her calm, yet deeply foreboding emerald eyes.

"Positive," Buzz Lightyear affirmed. "After… the dark storms passed, we were all got separated, and a bunch of us ended up here. Back then, there was a lot more people, though. I almost didn't recognize it, but yeah, this is the place. I'm pretty sure of that."

"Good," Eva said, and kicked the small building's door open. The door gave no opposition, falling off its hinges with a long, whining creak. Evangeline walked in, looking at the remains of what once had been a prosperous business that sold and bought assorted oddities and curiosities. The shelves were mostly empty now, but a few moldy and broken souvenirs still remained, covered in dry spiderwebs. "Knock knock," the vampire droned, further advancing inside.

"We don't know what happened to the rest," Buzz reminisced painfully, "but a bunch of us were found by the same man and brought here. He was… special. He knew we were right from the start. It was a shock, actually, learning toys weren't supposed to be alive in other worlds…"

"Your cowboy boyfriend told me all of that already. Be quiet and speak only when I ask you something," Evangeline commanded.

"Well," Buzz said, "someone woke up the wrong side of the coffin this morning."

"I told you to be quiet," she ordered, rapping him firmly against the side of her leg. Intently, she looked through the shambles of the old store, walking from one side to another and back; her eyes were well adjusted to darkness. "Someone ransacked this store long ago, looking for something," she exposited, an old villain habit. If there was someone to talk to, you spouted the obvious, with a few threats thrown in for garnish. "Look at all the broken furniture and shattered merchandise. Whoever did it was someone brutal, bestial, angered over not finding something, but too stupid to search where they should have." And then she asked, "Where did the owner keep you?"

"Over there," Buzz pointed near the backdoor, the tiny light projector in his right arm sending a spot of red towards that point. Evangeline hummed while walking there. A shelf stand painted in fading red, green and white stood there, as much as something that had been smashed in half can still stand. There were several baubles and cheap souvenirs tossed all across the floor around it, including something that stuck out from under a broken piece of wood. Evangeline crouched down, lifted the plank, and picked up the book that had caught her attention up.

It was a fairly simple looking storybook, not exactly shabby but far from looking like a show piece. It had withstood the ravages of time remarkably well, but it was also spent and half-rancid, a nasty smell wafting from it. On its cover, there was a title written on elegant golden cursives.

 _The Reports of Ansem the Wise._

"I've never wondered this before, but… can you smell?" she asked Buzz.

"Unfortunately!" the spaceman grunted, waving a hand over his nose and then closing the transparent plastic helmet around his head.

Eva grinned, pressed the button to open Buzz's headpiece again, and rubbed the book's cover all over his face. "Seriously, what's wrong with you now?!" the space hero shouted, waving his arms to try and push the tome back.

"That's what I want to learn," Evangeline, scowling again, opened the book on its first page. On a first sight, it seemed to be lacking a few pages, but surely that was not all that important. "Whoever ravaged this store, and I'm suspecting those 'Heartless' creatures, was desperately looking for something important. But they missed the most obvious thing. Someone who would collect living toys would be somebody who would value the dreams of children above everything else," she sneered, pulling a chair up and sitting down to read aloud.

" _Once upon a time, long, long ago, there were three mages and seven kings, who came together to fight a great evil that came from the shadows of the edge of the universe…"_ she read aloud. After all, she had an audience.

* * *

"What do you guys intend to do," Misa asked all of a sudden over the dinner table, "if we never find a way back?"

The silence that ensued all through the dining room of Cid's hideout lasted for several moments as everybody tried to make sense of what they'd just heard.

"Misa-chan!" Sakurako was the first one who could speak. "That's not like you! For you to even consider the possibility of getting stuck here…!"

"It'd royally suck, wouldn't it?" the lavender-haired cheerleader sighed. "Trapped on a rock in the middle of nowhere, with no TV, no rock bands, no huge happenings, not even Yotsuba's meals…"

"Who will cook for Fujimura-sensei?" Shirou grimly pondered. "Unless Tohsaka takes pity on her and lets Sakura go to her house every morning, the poor woman will be dead before one week!"

"I will probably simply vanish from prana deprivation before long, unless I can find an alternate source," Saber evenly pondered. Briefly, her gaze traveled over the men's crotches, in a way that was subtle enough for not even Haruna or Misa to notice, and then she shrugged to herself. "But I most likely can do that."

"My sister will grow up with no influence but Nao's," Rito grumbled. "I really don't want for that to happen!"

"No car races…" Keiichi pondered somberly, "No car shows, either… No motorcycles anywhere… No magazines with interesting articles about cars and mechanics…"

"And breasts and butts?" Yuuna suggested with a knowing leer.

Keiichi decided not to tell her that, worst case scenario, they'd still have plenty of those around. He was a gentleman, but he wasn't blind to how nicely 3-A were growing up, and would likely continue doing so… and how they seemed to be nudity-prone. "The idea didn't cross my mind, really," he piously said.

"Well, since it's that terrible to even consider," said Chisame, whose face already was starting to twitch at random periods from prolonged Internet Withdrawal, "then don't even think about it!"

"We'll pull through, it's what we always do," Konoka said. "I mean, I'm not giving up until I get to see Daddy and Grandpa again!" A beat. "And mom too, I suppose," she added reluctantly.

"Let's trust in Negi-kun, okay?" Makie asked. "I'm sure by now he's found a clue on how to get back!"

Another long silence, this one perhaps even longer, ensued. It gave birth to lots of smaller silences.

"Anyway, maybe the others will be sucked in to this dump too," Yuuna mused. "I'm sure Chao must be looking for us with some of her weird science gizmos that can do anything. She'll find the wormhole or whatever it is that brought us here."

"Fair enough," Misa said, "I was just talking crap to liven up the mood."

"You should have chosen your tropics better!" Haruka scolded her.

"Topics, Sempai, topics," Satomi corrected her.

A third silence ensued, since Rule of Three and all that. This silences children had enough time to grow up and their mother silence cried as she watched them go off to silence college.

"Maybe we could rebuild this city," Aerith mused after sipping the last of her warm drink. "I'm sure Cloud is looking for me as well. It'd be like a retreat in the mountains for the two of us…"

"And that'd be fine for the TWO of you, I'm sure," Cid snarked. "Don't count the rest of us in just yet!"

"Between Lala-san, Gadget-san, Skuld-san and me, even with the scarce resources available, I'm sure we could rebuild this into an utopia, although I'll admit it won't be the same without Chao," Satomi said.

"I refuse to even consider the overwhelming statistic probability we might have lost her already," Chachamaru stated.

"I'll keep looking for my mamas and Kage-kun forever if needed!" Makie declared.

"Mamas?" Aerith asked, confused.

"Same here!" Haruna added. "I'm never giving up on my parents, Nodoka, Yue, and now Mikan-chan!" She held up a fist. "Team Resolve Reinforcement Time!"

All across the table, the girls of 3-A, including Chisame, lifted their fists for them to converge with Haruna's at the middle of the table. So did Matoi, Rito, Lala, Haruka, Sora, Cocone, Keiichi and Ai, and after a few moments of grim hesitation, even Saber and Itoshiki. Aerith and Cid smiled and held their fists up to join them. Even Pluto, barking and wagging his tail, raised a paw and placed it on the wooden surface.

"ALA ALBA, HO!" they shouted.

" _Awoooooo!"_ howled the dog.

It was then they realized someone else had just also added their fist. They looked up the arm the fist was connected to and saw Ayaka, smiling sadly and sniffling while rubbing her reddened eyes with her free hand.

For once, they all were too moved to end this scene with a punchline.

* * *

 _Wonderland:_

"So, did you enjoy your time with the Queen of Hearts?" asked the Cat merrily, standing up on his tail and grinning at the group. Gadget, instinctively, took a few steps back to stand behind Negi. "I heard from the best source she's a mind blowing person… or would it be, if she left anyone with a mind and a head by the time she's done with them!" He laughed heartily at his own joke, grabbing his hind paws with the front ones.

"Oboy," Skuld said. "A trickster. Just what we needed."

"No no no no, what you need are answers on how to get out of here, and the Cheshire Cat (that's me) has all the answers!" The cat proudly slammed a paw on his chest. "Of course, I don't want to tell half of the answers, and the other half makes no sense!"

"Par for the course with this place, naturally," Negi sighed. "Then let's keep on moving, girls, Chamo-kun, we'd better—"

The cat instantly appeared floating right before his eyes. "Now that's rude, just leaving like that, without even trying to ask. And after I was of such help to Alice. Isn't that right, Alice dear?"

"Well," Alice said, "when we crossed paths this morning, you told me any way I would take would be the same, since I didn't know where I wanted to go. And I know even less right now, so I thought I wouldn't bother you again."

The cat rubbed his broad chin and twinkled the whiskers. "That makes sense, of a sort… so of course, it's false! You lied when you told me, earlier, you didn't know where to go, since you know you want to go home, don't you?"

"That's right," Alice nodded, "but I have no idea what way would take me home, so I wouldn't want what direction to ask for. Wasn't that what you tried to tell me the first time we met?"

The cat chuckled, crossing his 'arms' behind his neck and lazily floating back. "Now you're talking like a Wonderlander, that is, making full sense while making no sense. I see the place is starting to rub off on you! Or maybe you always belonged here. Your new friends, on the other hand, belong much less, despite being even madder. That, too, makes full sense while making no sense!"

"Listen, pal," Chamo said, "all we want to know is where to find the Mad Hatter. If you can't give us a straight answer, fine, just keep enjoying your drugs and—"

"The Mad Hatter!" the cat assumed a sitting position on the air. "But there are better people to find that the Mad Hatter! Actually, everyone is better to find than the Mad Hatter. Wouldn't you like to find the Princess of Heart instead?"

"Princess of Heart?" Alice asked. "Is that the daughter of the Queen and the king?"

The cat broke into laughter. "Far from it!" He waved a chubby finger mischievously. "The Princess is not from this world… although you could say she belongs here, too. Then again, we all belong here because we're all mad."

"What are you talking about?" asked Skuld, frankly annoyed. "There was no Princess of Heart in the original Alice story!"

The feline huffed, lifting his nose. "Well, there were no Skuld, Negi, Asuna, mechanic mouse or talking ermine in the original Alice story either! Everyone knows ermines can't talk, that'd be just crazy!"

"You're a talking—" Chamo began.

"And I have so much to talk about!" the cat laughed, hopping all around them, turning into five bouncing cats for a few moments, before melding back into one. "But the question is, do I want to? No, I always want to, except when I don't. The question is, who is the Princess of Heart?"

"Who is the Princess of Heart?" Negi asked.

"There's no Princess of Heart!" the cat opened his arms.

"But, you said—!" the boy protested.

"There's no single Princess of Heart, there are many Princesses of Heart!" the cat answered. "And the Wonderland one isn't even a Princess, but we looo-ooove her all the same!" The cat opened a small door on his chest and revealed his beating cartoony heart for a moment before closing it back. Alice cringed visibly. Negi and Skuld, who had cut dead animals open very often during their respective studies, and Gadget, who was unflappable to the physical damage of cats, never flinched. "To open the keyhole that stands between all the worlds, and seal the darkness back from where it came, you need at least seven Princesses at your side!"

Negi tensed up, feeling a straight answer at last. Of sorts. "Aren't you joking?"

The cat's smile grew perverse, and his face became demonically white for a moment. "Do I look like a joker?" he crooned in a sinister voice before going back to what passed for normal in him. "Although the darkness wanted to shuffle me into their deck anyway. Because I know all sorts of things, as you can see!"

"Do you mean the Queen?" Alice asked.

"The Queen is only a cheap card from a lesser deck!" the cat laughed, slapping himself on the knees. "The darkness, those playing the Mad Hatter for a fool, come from beyond, from far beyond, and they know things, too. They know about your father."

"My father? What does he have to do with any of this?" Alice asked.

"No! Not your father!"

"My father, then? He's been gone for years," Gadget said.

"No! Not your father!"

"Listen, friend," Skuld groaned. "If anyone can look after Himself, it's my Father…"

"No! Not your Father either!"

"My father!" Negi gasped, then rushed ahead to grab the cat by his chest's fur. "What do you know about him?!"

"Why, all I know," the cat said, disappearing and leaving nothing but his grin and a few hairs on Negi's fist, "is he was a great hero, the same thing everybody knows. I don't know a lot about heroes because they are boring, and there are no heroes in Wonderland. If you want to know about heroes, you should ask Philoctetes, the hero trainer who lives in the next orbit! They say he's trained every great action hero since Schwarzenegger! Or was that an actor?"

"Philoctetes? You mean, like the mythical Greek character?" Negi asked.

Alice looked curiously at his impressed, paling face. Was that boy actually the son of some great… war hero of sorts (Alice wasn't really sure there was any other kind of hero)? If so, why had a great man allowed his son to become a dissolute? Unless he had been killed in the battlefield, which seemed reasonable enough.

The disembodied grin floated erratically all over the place. "If you say so! It sounds Greek to me, I'll give you that! But that's all I'll give you. And in turn, I just want you to give me nothing but a tiny itsy bitsy... snack!"

The grin, which at that point had suddenly hovered over Gadget, swooped down and caught her between its teeth, and the cat fully reappeared swallowing the yelping Gadget, then licking all over his mouth and whiskers.

While Alice gave a short shriek, Negi immediately grabbed the Cheshire Cat, turned him around, and began to violently slap his butt. "Spit her out! Spit her out! SPIT HER OUT!"

"Gack!" a second later, the cat coughed up a thick ball of purple fur. The ball rolled across the grass unfolding itself, and at the end of its roll, a dazed and saliva-covered Gadget sat on the ground, head slightly throbbing from one side to another.

"Daddy, I don't think I like that ride anymore..." she babbled.

The cat indignantly vanished from Negi's arms and reappeared a few steps away, dusting himself off. "The nerve of you, boy! I mean, that joke was pure Looney Tunes, not Disney! You're getting it all mixed up!"

* * *

 **To be Continued**.


	12. Casting Gags

Akamatsu Ken and Kodansha created and own _Mahou Sensei Negima!_

You should know the rest by now, too.

* * *

 **The Keys of the Kingdom HD 2.8 Final Chapter Prologue Turbo Hyper Champion Edition Gold**.

 **By OverMaster and Shadow Crystal Mage**.

* * *

 **Chapter Ten**.

* * *

Somewhere else, a tall, lean figure stood on top of a sinister, dark and foreboding fortress, overlooking blackened dead moors and swamps as far as the eye could see.

The figure had their arms crossed behind their back, and their hands held a long scepter. On their head sat a hat with two long, curved horns. It radiated a fearsome aura of subtle menace, despite being far from bulky or massive. The much smaller figure that had just stopped shortly behind could feel that aura and accordingly cowered in its presence.

"Speak," the rich, cultured voice of the horned figure commanded.

"My Liege," the smaller being fell to a knee, head lowered. "We have reports from the latest world to be invaded. The area around its World Tree, specifically. The sixth Averruncus from Cosmo Entelecheia sighted King Mickey, and it seems... he escaped with a couple of local students and three local vigilantes. Averruncus still holds a strong control over most of the region, however. It is only a matter of a short time before it is swallowed by Darkness."

"Hrrrrmm," the taller figure contemplated.

"Also, hm, it seems the vampire witch you had a interest in... was also displaced along with her home. And, well, lastly, Captain Pete managed to capture the King's Captain of the Guard and Royal Mage and delivered them to us... but he has failed to report back since. We believe he may have been captured himself, but since he was such a lowly asset..."

"I already knew all of that, dolt, the Council informed me. Send someone to search for him regardless," the magnificent, malevolent figure sneered. "I don't like loose ends, not even the smallest ones. They tend to unravel even the best laid schemes. And you would do better to find Mc Dowell before the day is out, as well. I grow impatient with the results so far."

"Yes, my Liege," the subject's forehead and his handpalms touched the stone floor. "Please forgive us. I swear from here on, our sight will try and match the reach of your hand."

There was a short, dry and humorless chuckle. "That will never happen. Try your best, or else you will be served swift death, but keep in mind your paltry senses will never be as wide as the all conquering hand..."

The figure turned back, with a malevolent smile on its sharp, elongated, pale features, cheekbones sharp enough to slice bread. It gestured with a hand of thin, long fingers as if to crush something, the dark scepter firmly grasped in the other.

 _"... of Loki, God of Mischief!"_

There was a beat.

"Uh, pardon me my Liege, but I thought you were going with 'God of Stories' these days?"

"Eh, I decided that since we were going for an organizational reshuffle I'd hold off on paying Dream's franchise fee."

* * *

 _Mahora:_

The hooded small person Nodoka's group kept calling 'Mickey' had asked for someone with knowledge of the local Solar System and the Milky Way in general, and Chizuru had volunteered. She had to; she was well aware most of those gathered at the temple, even those not officially labeled Bakas, were a variant of Baka or another, and even Nodoka and the still unconscious Sempai weren't as knowledgeable about astronomy as she was.

The hooded person had hesitated, asking again if none of the combatants were versed in that field, but eventually he had just sighed and told Chizuru to come along. Mana had insisted they take somebody else for assistance in fighting any Heartless that showed up along the way, and Ku Fei had said she'd tag along. So they'd left the temple behind, with promises of coming back as soon as possible, and stealthily made their way through the tall grass and thick bushes of the hillside, following the stranger's lead.

Chizuru was trying to keep a philosophical outlook on it, remembering her father's words about taking risks in the face of insurmountable odds.

… No, the only conclusion she could come to was still 'they were screwed and going to die horribly'. So she switched to an ongoing sexual fantasy about Ayaka…

Much better. Anyway, if she was needed for something, this temporary ally who was obviously an outworlder likely couldn't allow himself to lose her yet, so she figured out she was reasonably safe for the time being. She mostly trusted Ku Fei's willingness to help her under any circumstances, and above it all, she was curious to see what this was about, enough to let it ultimately tip the scales in favor of her agreement with the invitation. Since she could first remember, she had felt a fascination with the universe and its secrets, with everything that stretched past Earth and across the ocean of the stars.

… Okay, to be truthful, her fascination with chocolate and how delicious it was came first, but darn it, astronomy was a close second!

As long as she wouldn't have to endanger Natsumi by bringing her along, she was willing to run risks with her own safety (and even Ku's) as long as it meant a chance to finally learn about one of those secrets. Even if it was basically 'WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO THE STARS, WHERE ARE THEY?!', or something like that, since the pure and empty blackness above her made her soul want to scream (and her stomach want to look for chocolate).

So she never looked back, never slowed down, doing her best to keep up with the others. It had been an uneventful trip so far, despite the fact a few, large, bat-winged Heartless would sometimes fly by past them high above ground level, oblivious to them and heading directly for the South. Whenever that happened, Mickey would briefly stop and stare up, his gloved hand tightly gripping his Keyblade's handle and squeezing on it impotently before urging them to keep on going with a gesture of the large blunt weapon.

Now he stopped again, signaling at them to stop as well, and pointed ahead towards a large clearing under the ominously empty night sky, where three figures stood around a massive patch of ground where the grass seemed to have been compacted and mashed down as if supporting a huge weight.

 _"Do you know them?"_ Mickey whispered, pointing at the mismatched trio. Chizuru squinted, and concentrated, this time remembering Father's lessons on using their bloodline's gifts. It gave her a mild sudden headache like always, but she managed focusing enough of her anti-magic senses as to make out the general outline of a translucent, blocky, sturdy airship with long wide wings, very unlike any airplane she had ever seen before. That, despite herself, actually thrilled her a lot.

The three humans were a secondary concern for her in comparison, although she could recognize at least two—

"Woman is Mikado Ryoko, School's Nurse," Ku Fei said in a serious, low tone. "Man also familiar, but can't remember where—"

"Akashi-san's father," Chizuru whispered, then explained to the somewhat confused Mickey, "The father of another of our classmates, one of Ako's best friends. He's also a teacher here. The other woman, however, I have no idea who she could be, I'm afraid..." "

I see, thanks," Mickey nodded, looking at the woman who stood with the busty, curvaceous female in the long white coat and the well dressed man with glasses, all three of them visible enough thanks to the flashlights the former two were holding as they took reading of their surroundings with portable devices that scanned the whole of his ship's cloaking.

So they'd found it regardless. The way the girls had phrased their answers, it was likely two of them would be helpful, and the other woman (who, ironically, was wearing a hood much like his own obscuring most of her features and all of her hair) was thus unlikely to be a major hurdle either. Even so, he readied himself for anything. "Let's go greet them, then."

Chizuru and Ku nodded, then followed him ahead once more.

* * *

 _Wonderland:_

"So," Negi summed up, "I need to go to the next world from here, find Philoctetes, and ask him about my father."

"And King Mickey. Since, well, he is also a hero," Gadget reminded him, wiping cat drool out off her hair with the handkerchief Alice had given her.

"Did I say any of that?" the Cat asked, resting on its side and scratching himself on a very wide hip. "Well, if you say so. You could even find another Princess of Heart there! Or not. They don't grow on trees, these Princesses of Heart. Except when they do. Which is why the darkness is so eager to find them, eager enough to turn to me..."

It was then that Negi tensed up in alarm. "Wait an instant. You said you had been approached by... whoever represents this 'darkness', who I'm also assuming are controlling the Mad Hatter. But... you had rejected them, hadn't you?"

"I wouldn't make deals with anybody crazy enough to deal with me," the Cat mused, taking his head off and using it to roll around on it, spreading his arms to keep his balance, like a circus bear riding a ball. "But then again, I'll also give information away when I want to all the same, won't I? I mean, that's what I've been doing for you, and you didn't even offer me any deals! You wouldn't even let me have a snack you aren't even having yourselves, you selfish people you...!"

Skuld also understood now, and her eyes widened. "Oh you bastard... You know who this world's Princess is!"

The cat stopped and wagged his tail so it circled his body. He grinned madly at Skuld. "Undoubtedly!"

"And you told them!"

"I admit I might have given some clues..."

"Clues that you didn't give us!" Chamo cried.

"First come first serve, and they asked first," the cat said, "And besides, you're the ones being tested, not them. Heroes are the ones being proved through the villains, not the other way around! Even I know that, and I'm mad as a hatter!"

The Heartless began leaping out the bushes then. By the dozens. Alice let out a short yelp while Skuld and Negi groaned and readied her mallet and his staff.

The Cheshire Cat chuckled as all of him but his grin slowly disappeared in the air. "This is your first real test, son of a Hero. Think about it this way, if you don't pass it, why should you even be tested by Phil, hmmmm?"

Something gigantic appeared then, pushing trees apart and breaking through them. It was as tall as a house. It was shaped like a monstrous and feral rabbit of sorts, with gleaming narrow eyes and an elongated mouth full of crooked fangs.

It had Jervis Tetch sitting on its head, riding the abomination with a placid, spaced-out smile.

"What regrettably little heads you have from here," he mused aloud. "I would very much like to hat them!"

* * *

 _Mahora:_

"Yes," said the hooded woman after finishing her long, mysterious study of the invisible object that had still registered as a large spaceship-shaped blip on the radar before crashing in the middle of the Southern woods, close to the river that ran through Mahora. As soon as it had entered Earth's gravitational pull after breaking through the dimensional barrier, it had triggered the surveillance systems Mahora's contacts with the Men In Black had set up in the event one of Princess Lala's more amorous and bothersome suitors would arrive looking for her. "I can feel an intense magical charge in this otherworldly vessel. However, what kind of magic, I cannot tell. It's... vexing, I never had encountered anything like it before. Though I have a strong urge to brush my teeth before they rot."

"I see. Thank you... Mc Guinness-sensei," the handsome, bespectacled Akashi Wataru nodded absently, stepping closer to the downed craft, trying to decipher this latest conundrum. When the crisis had broken out all over Mahora, spreading from several focal points that had manifested themselves at once, the faculty had been pressed to keep the safety of the student body as their main priority, so it seemed they hadn't been able to send any staffers but him there yet. Caster, his Servant, had attempted to dissuade him from going, claiming she could mount an absolute defense all around their house, but when he had insisted on fulfilling his duties, she finally had sighed in defeat and demanded to go with him instead.

What followed had been very reminiscent of when he'd been married. Now it had been his turn to try and convince her to stay, but she had been as adamant as he'd been before. A Servant _and_ a wife both had the obligation of staying by their Master or husband's side no matter what, and since she fulfilled both roles, either he would allow her to accompany him or she'd just knock him out and chain him to the bed for the duration of the whole invasion. And not in the good, enjoyable kind of chaining to the bed either. Okay, the good, enjoyable kind would be involved too, but mostly the other kind.

Other than him, at least one staffer had been dispatched to deal with the UFO anomaly, the local expert assigned by the Galaxy Federation's contacts with Mahora. A woman who was taller and more buxom than Caster, who stood nearby quietly puffing on a cigarette, and not even bothering to keep the housecoat she wore over her pink negligee closed. It was no wonder Akashi would prefer to keep advancing towards the unknown of the ship rather than looking back at Mikado Ryoko-sensei, who was obviously either too lazy and shameless to dress properly when called in the middle of the night, or too devoted to her job to even pause to cover herself when needed.

After all, while Caster didn't seem to be the jealous type and even had briefly teased him with the idea of inviting another woman (or two. Or three) to share their bed, Akashi would rather not take any risks invoking the wrath of a woman legendary over being scorned.

"That doesn't sound like any design I'm familiar with," Ryoko observed, seemingly more interested in the woman Akashi had introduced as a friend from overseas, than on the ship itself. He hoped Medea didn't notice, lest she get ideas. "The only ships I know that run on mechanisms you would label as 'magical' are those from Jurai, but they've never been big on cloaking themselves for incursions; they consider it beneath them... Mc Guiness-san, wasn't it?"

Caster nodded as Akashi repressed a large gulp knotting in his throat. He'd resorted to using Donet Velvet's maiden name as a last resort when they abruptly ran into Ryoko, but he knew Mikado was far too clever to be fooled for long. He didn't think she knew about the real Donet, who hadn't been to Japan since Yuuka died, but she would no doubt try and research her as soon as the crisis passed. He might have to call the real Donet all the way in Wales and ask her for help with the cover story, but he'd worry about that later. Right now, he only wanted to learn the truth about this ship as soon as possible, then to rush over to Yuuna's side...

Wherever that was now. _I swear, Negi-kun, if you let anything bad happen to my daughter, I'll kill you myself, child or not, son of the Thousand Master or not..._ the man inwardly swore, all the while also berating himself for spending time there right now for the likely greater good instead of just pressing on with the quest for his child.

Once again, the alien nurse moved her right arm, scanning the cloaked ship up and down with a small device sporting three large red, swirling eyes. Miraculously, the device hadn't malfunctioned and stripped everybody naked yet. "Why, it barely reads as functional! Certainly not aerodynamic enough. It's the kind of design the Federation wouldn't even employ during its childhood phase. But then again, it can be excused, since mankind is still so new to space travel…"

"Humans?" Akashi stopped as he passed his wand over the limits of the cloaking field in slow circles. "Why would you say this thing was made by humans? Just because it looks clunky to your instruments?"

Mikado shrugged with a small smirk. "Well, because of that, and because it seems to run on magic, as Mc Guinness-sensei herself is saying. Humans from Mundus Magicus, most probably, if you want to get technical, but humans all the same. Any of the major civilizations that have mastered interstellar training would not resort to—"

"I can sense three individuals approaching," Caster suddenly said.

"Say what?!" Akashi said, spinning around on nimble feet and aiming his wand in the same direction towards which Caster was looking now. " Whoever's in there, identify yourselves! Show yourselves peacefully right now! You're breaking the curfew!"

There was some rustling and a short discussion from a line of nearby bushes, and out emerged three people at once, all of them holding their hands up in silence. Akashi cursed under her breath. He'd just recognized two of them as classmates of his daughter, even though she wasn't particularly close to either. "Oh, it's you... Naba-san, Ku-san. What are you doing here, and who's that with you?!"

Mikado chuckled, her hands in the pockets of her coat. "Now this is a surprise! Usually, the only 3-A students you see coming out of bushes at night are the Narutaki twins..."

"Um, good evening, Akashi-sensei, Mikado-sensei," Chizuru sheepishly said, stepping ahead of the others, hands still raised. "This isn't what it looks like, and believe me, we have very good reasons to be out here this late."

Then she pointed back at the small figure holding what looked enough like a massive weapon as to make Akashi and Caster concerned. The latter, especially, could sense an impressive amount of power flowing from that thing.

"I believe," Chizuru explained, "that ship you are studying right now belongs to this gentleman."

* * *

After a long, suspicious stare at the darkness hidden within the confines of the King's hood, the teacher asked the girls, "Is he holding you against your will?"

"No-one ever hold Chinese Amazon captive against Amazon's will-aru!" Ku grinned, flexing an arm, its toned biceps bulging up slightly.

"Oh gracious goodness, no Sensei!" Chizuru said. "As a matter of fact he's been rather helpful and even saved the lives of Miyazaki-san and Ayase-san. They, along with Mana-san, Negi-sensei's sister, Izumi-san, the twins, Nagase-san, Natsumi, an unconscious librarian, and three Sailor Senshi cosplayers, are holed up at the Tatsumiya shrine, waiting for backup."

It bears explaining Chizuru had not, as a matter of fact, forgotten about Tate or Berserker, but frankly she tended to neglect mentioning men unless necessary.

"What about Yuuna?" Akashi asked eagerly. He'd barely registered the mention about Negi's sister. He supposed it just meant Nagi Springfield's niece had come to visit from Wales, probably for the Festival, but honestly he couldn't care any less right now.

"I'm sorry," Chizuru lowered her head, "but we haven't been able to find her or the rest of the English Research Society. Also, it would seem... um, I don't know how to say this, Sir..."

"Headmaster Konoe was frozen alive by frigid witch commanding attack-aru," Ku Fei spoke for her. "Same one who led forces out to kidnap Konoka at Kyoto, too!"

Akashi gasped. "Sextum Averruncus?! Wait, that's classified information, how did you know—"

Baka Yellow grinned, waving a fist. "I there too, of course! Kicked a lot of butt!"

"I... I hadn't been told about that," a mildly taken aback Akashi confessed, rubbing the bridge of his nose. "Blast it! Without Konoe-sensei, commanding the forces falls on Takahata, then... In the meantime, you," he trained his wand on Mickey, "take that hood off and let us see your face. No tricks!"

"Why she not do same thing?" Ku asked, poking a thumb in Caster's direction. "I never seen strange woman dressed like that around before, what's her—"

"Okay, I'll do it," Mickey calmly interrupted Ku's distrustful tirade, grabbing his hood and pulling it back, large round ears popping back into full shape as his mouse head stood completely revealed. "Hi-ya!" he mildly waved. "I hope this isn't too much of a shock, but—"

"So," Mikado said, "Mundus Magicus is involved after all. See? I knew it! No other planet in this galaxy has giant sentient mice as its inhabitants. Apes, hedgehogs, walking asparagus, yes, but mice...?"

"I come from beyond this galaxy, Ma'am," Mickey respectfully said, gesturing towards Chizuru. "That's why I had to recruit the closest expert on this system's stars to make sense of my current location and the status of this sector. If you would please allow me back into my ship..."

"How," Caster spoke at last, in a controlled and smooth tone, "do we know this is your star-vessel to even begin with?"

Mickey sighed, stretched a hand gloved in white ahead, and shouted, _"Meeska! Mooska! Mickey Mouse!"_

Instantly, the ship's invisibility shields were dispelled, revealing a Gummi Ship that was much in design like that Negi and company had secured for themselves, but even bigger, a bit less ridiculous looking in overall design, and decorated on its sides by several outlines of Mickey's own head, which detracted points from the whole 'not as ridiculous' percentage, but not enough to drop the overall ranking, since it was a given any ship given to Donald would always be the silliest looking one in the kingdom.

Ku stared at the Mickey heads on the hull while everybody else but the Mouse himself gasped, then squinted and told the King, "You have terrible large ego, you that know?"

He rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. "That... That was my beloved wife's idea, actually..."

"Ah," Ku Fei understood, "so she an Iinchou, then? My sympathies-aru!"

Chizuru stared angrily at her.

"What?" Ku defended herself. "You know that right! She would even go one step worse! She would paint, not only bouzou's silhouette, but face with all details on, all over ship surface! And add hearts, too!"

"That might be true," Chizuru said, "but it still doesn't make it any more polite to say out loud..."

* * *

Now Mickey, Akashi, Caster, Mikado and Chizuru stood inside of the ship, which was rather larger than it had looked from the outside, while Ku Fei stood guard at the main door.

"How interesting," Mikado hummed to herself while looking at the ship's control panel, and the mouse stepped towards them under Akashi's watchful eye. "That is a mental interface-based system, isn't it? As I recall, Princess Lala once told me about showing interest in developing one someday. I'm sure she would love taking a good look at it."

"What do you mean, Sensei?" Caster asked, looking up and down at the metal lined walls, covered with even more mouse emblems. "Is this vessel supposed to move through mental power?"

"Yeah, you're right," Mickey answered, his left hand swiftly traveling over the panel, up and down and back, examining the configuration, "It runs based on the user's emotional state. More specifically, the default pattern is to activate and control flight fueled by joy and happiness, as sending depressed and hopeless soldiers and scouts is normally, well, unwise. That forces us to keep a positive attitude at all times."

"That's... commendable, I suppose," Chizuru quietly praised, then gasped as Mickey deployed a holographic astrological map of the Milky Way, where she noticed a noticeably large swath, most likely consisting of tens of millions of stars, were missing, huge chunks of them blinking off every now and then as she spoke. "Oh dear... that isn't happening at this moment, is it? I mean, everybody knows, the light of a stellar body takes several years to reach Earth, so they just cannot be... they cannot be destroying them right now!"

Mikado whistled, her face looking horrified. "Even the Gah LaK Tus limits itself to only planets. Not even Brainiac could move that quickly. A swarm of sun-eaters genetically altered for war wouldn't be able to go through the galaxy that fast. This is… terrible." Even as she said it, the word seemed pitifully inadequate.

"The new rumor is, the Heartless have been running amok for a decade now, even if I only learned about it recently," Mickey said as he accessed another subprogram to show Chizuru even more sectors of the galaxy. "Even so, I should have known better, what with what happened to Eraqus' students years ago... but I digress, Miss Naba, what are you getting from this?"

"It's... terrible," Chizuru faintly confessed. "If this is actually happening, then whatever force is causing it... I'm not sure there's any power on this world able to stop something like that..."

"No, there's always a way," Mickey shook his head stubbornly before taking a very deep breath in and calling out loud, _"Oooooohhh, Toodles!"_

"Toodles?" Caster lifted a fine eyebrow within the hood as the large main screen of the control cabin flashed alive, a pleasant white light filling the room, and a similarly mouse-eared silhouette face appeared floating in the middle of the monitor.

"This is Toodles, my navigator," Mickey introduced the face, which seemed to show them a wide smile. "Tell me, Toodles, can you give me a link to Donald and Goofy's Gummi Ship? I'd like to see if they've found the Master, pal."

"Goofy?" Caster lifted her other eyebrow. She restrained the urge to point out how… well, stupid the names were. As a princess of Colchis, she had been trained in refinement. It would be uncouth and namist.

"Can do!" Toodles chirped in an even higher pitched voice, and then showed them a quick succession of images across every minor screen in the room. "Accessing recent databanks of Donald's Gummi Ship! Trying to find its current location...!"

"Oh dear," Mickey swallowed as he saw what was just being shown to him right now.

"Are those... your friends?" Akashi guessed, as he saw a high speed sequence of a massive cat-man grabbing a much smaller blonde mouse in his fat fist before laughing at her and rattling her around. Then his throat went as dry as Mickey's as he also watched a stream of Heartless flowing in after the black humanoid beast, who was hanging the tiny mouse woman from the ceiling while taunting her.

"She... She is, and he used to, but..." Mickey ran a hand down his face, now blanketed on cold sweat. "Oh gosh, he's turned into my worst enemy. If he's got Donald, Goofy and Gadget, there's no way of knowing what— wait!"

The next sequence of events the ship's artificial intelligence was getting from its counterpart's camera records showed several girls working on repairing the damage brought on the ship and even updating on it. "That's Princess Lala," Mikado observed, her interest growing, "and those are Hakase-san, Skuld-san and... wait, who's that man walking in to help them right now? I don't know him from anywhere..."

"Me neither, but..." Akashi gasped. "If they're there, Yuuna can't be far away!"

"More classmates of your daughter?" Mickey asked, speeding up the video feedback as most of what he was getting at the time only showed the girls causing minor explosions while repairing the Gummi's mainframe.

"Yes. One of them is her current roommate, as well," Akashi nodded. "Where are they?! And why are they there in the first place?!"

"Toodles!" Mickey ordered, while the next batch of images showed Negi, Asuna, Skuld and Gadget piloting the ship towards some unknown destination, making Akashi gasp even harder. "Current location of Donald's Gummi Ship!"

"Working on it!" Toodles' synthetized voice squeaked before getting stuck twice, then stuttering with some static, "S-Signal identified, Your Majesty! C-Coming from a minor world in our universe of existence!"

"My baby is in another universe?!" Akashi screamed at the top of his lungs, unaware this was not her first time.

Mickey hissed to himself while the screens showed stock footage from the other Gummi's POV, of the travelers approaching the Wonderland planetoid. "Don't tell me they went _there_... Oboy." He turned back to the others. "Okay, everybody, listen! We might need to send someone there to retrieve them before it's too late! I'll hold the fort here in the meantime, but it's imperative we don't allow—"

Then the whole ship shook violently, making everybody lose footing for a moment, Akashi stumbling forward and managing to land on Mikado and Caster at once. Mickey was less fortunate, falling flat on his face on the set of controls, but he barely had any time to complain while peeling himself back up and rubbing his aching snout.

"So forward, Akashi-sensei!" Mikado and Medea chorused together in similarly amused tones, only to pause and look at each other, each raising an inquisitive eyebrow. Some unspoken communication seemed to go between them.

Ku Fei had just peeked in, looking far more concerned than usual. "Um, guys, everybody?" she asked. "You might wanna take look at this-aruyo? There's something very big heading for temple, past we..."

* * *

"This isn't good. Absolutely no good at all," Akashi-sensei said, all of them now standing by the ship and staring into the distance, where a gigantic quadrupedal beast lumbered slow but implacably towards the Tatsumiya Temple. It was mostly hidden from sight by the trees it more or less matched in height, but from what Akashi could glimpse in the darkness, it moved and acted like a titanic lion, an impression augmented by the thick, wild black mane hanging from its head and shoulders. As the ground shook, one by one the trees would shake and fall, pushed out of its way as easily as someone going though a field of sunflowers.

Not to mention the unbearable stench it emitted, drafting along the landscape, and the continued, loud growls that echoed through the night. Akashi was reminded of the smell from a long unattended animal cage at a zoo, but multiplied tenfold, and Chizuru and Ryoko had, as a matter of fact, resorted to covering their noses with their hands.

Ku Fei rolled her eyes once. As a Baka Ranger, she felt somewhat obliged to say the stupidly obvious things around here, darn it, and having a teacher of all people trying to take over that offended her pride. Still, it wasn't like there was any time to discuss that for now.

"We go help others, then," she decided. "Chizuru, you stay here with Nurse and—"

"No," Mickey said somberly, pulling the hood back on and absently twirling the Keyblade around. "I'll go. You should go help your other friends... and mine instead, please. The fate of everything that is might hinge on that."

Mikado blinked. "Do you mean...?"

"Professor," the King told Akashi, "you want to find your daughter more than anything else, right?"

"Well, of course I do, but I'm not sure she's there yet, and—" the man doubted.

"So far it seems that's your best bet, isn't it?" the Mouse tensely asked. "Please, I beg you. I've got nobody else to ask for help with this. Some of you are fighters, at least one of you seems to know about spaceships, and another one's an expert on astronomy. That's all you really need for this task as long as your hearts are strong. I... I can't go with you, not as long as this world's Keyhole is unlocked."

"What Keyhole?" Caster asked.

"It seems," Chizuru explained, "that is some sort of opening to another world from where these creatures are coming through. He claims to be the only one who can seal it to stop the invasion."

"Yeah," Mickey nodded. "Don't worry about your friends, between Berserker and I, I'm sure we can protect them while—"

"Berserker, did you just say?" Caster interrupted, suddenly growing far uneasier than she had ever sounded so far.

"Does that name mean anything to you, Ma'am?" Chizuru politely asked, giving her an interested look.

"Please, there's no time!" Mickey slammed a foot down in growing frustration. "Find your friends, tell them of what's happening here, warn them they must protect the Princesses of Heart before it's too late! Tell them to go to Yen Sid! He'll know what to do!"

"What you saying, that make no sense at all!" Ku Fei threw her hands up. "I no want! I want stay here and help friends, I—!"

"Ku-san," Chizuru said, "Negi-sensei, Asuna-san, and the others we saw are your friends as well, aren't they?"

"Eh? Of course they are, but they strong, and can take care of—"

"So are Nagase-san and Tatsumiya-san," Naba reminded her. She sighed. "You know, I always had two dreams, since my earliest childhood. One of them was seeing the stars up close and personal, to go into space and far above the blue face of this Earth. The other," she added, with a glare at the Heartless creatures that flew following the monster lion, like a macabre court of cawing, loyal subjects, "was never getting myself killed by an army of monsters from the darkness."

"That strange dream to have, aru," Ku said. "Me mostly dream of fighting, sex, chocolate, or having sex with fighting chocolate."

Naba ignored that as she looked back at the ship, and then at Mickey. "Just keep in mind, please, if you allow anything bad to befall Natsumi, I will bring you down personally."

Mickey nodded.

Ku Fei grunted. "You just want see Iinchou again, do no you? And of course, where Negi-bouzou is, Iinchou is too."

Chizuru smiled, then patted the Chinese girl's scalp. "And you just want to stay for Chao-san, don't you? So why judge me, Ku-san?"

Ku blushed briefly, coughed and looked aside. "Chao no need my help anyway. She almost as strong as I, and much smarter, it just happens, here so many good fights, I—"

"Who knows what kind of enemies wait for you in the great unknown?" Mikado smiled, giving a longing stare back into the universe from where she hailed. "What the heck, let's do it. It's been a while, and not that I dislike this planet, but I was starting to get into a rut of sorts compared to the old days..."

"Cast—" Akashi doubted, looking at his mate, "I mean, Donet, what do you—"

She reached over gently with a hand to touch his lips and close them. "I should be fine as long as my absence is not too long. Even if it is," she lowered her tone, making it far more secretive, "there are alternate ways to stabilize my prana without this world's direct support. No matter what the risks, however, my place is at your side, and it seems your is by your daughter's. I can appreciate that. Loyalty is a rare trait to find in a man, and what I find the most precious about you."

Mikado chuckled mischievously, arms folded as she casually leaned on the ship's hull, looking the opposite way. "Oh, Touko owes me on that bet big-time..."

Akashi gave her an irritated look before Caster added a darkly playful, "Besides, I'm not ready to face a Berserker yet. Wouldn't it be much better if we allowed that beast kill him or her in our absence?"

"Him, definitely a him," Chizuru quietly mused aloud while standing by Mikado.

Before the even more annoyed now Akashi could ask them exactly how much they knew on anything, Mickey spoke again. "Thank you very much, everyone. I know I'm asking for too much being basically a stranger, but... I hope you'll trust me as much as I'm trusting you. Toodles!" he called for the interior of the ship. "Change the default emotional trigger from happiness to... to..."

He hesitated as he looked at the man desperate to know of his daughter's whereabouts. The woman who wanted to see what new things waited among the stars for her. The young lady who wanted to know of other worlds and her crush's destination. The girl who wished to know where to find stronger opponents to fight.

"... curiosity," he ended up saying, as the ship's inner systems began glowing changing colors quickly, readjusting every function and control mechanism. He allowed himself a smile and nodded, seemingly satisfied at that.

"Aye, aye...!" Toodles' voice rang as Ku Fei pouted at the King. "On the double, sire...!"

"Is curiosity even emotion?" the dark skinned student asked. "I think that more a... a... I no know for sure, but no emotion, no! Everybody know only five emotions! Joy, Fear, Anger, Disgust, Sadness, aru!"

Mickey blinked. "Whoever told you that, missy? And what kind of emotion is 'Aru'?"

"Aru is aru, aru!" Ku replied. "And I saw that in famous movie! ... I think. I no remember details that well, but that much I know! Only five!"

"No, there are seven," Mikado corrected. "Rage, avarice, fear, will, hope, compassion and love. Well known universal fact."

"How will even an emotion, aru?"

A perplexed Mickey looked back at Chizuru, Akashi, and Caster as the two bickered. All of them simply shrugged their shoulders and said nothing.

"Welcome to Mahora," Akashi ventured. "Try not to think to hard about it."

The King sighed. "M-Maybe we should have brought the taller girl with the huge metal star instead."

"Hey! That stung, aru! I as perfectly able and knowledging as Baka Blue!"

* * *

 **Ala Alba's Disney Masterpiece Theater!**

 **Typical Disney Forest Detritus.**

Kakizaki Misa was not used to washing her own clothes. Back home, her mother, and later the family's single maid after Daddy hit it big time, had always done it for her. During her stay at Mahora, Madoka could always been either tricked or outright bribed to do it for her (yet another advantage of belonging to a higher status level than Mado-chi's).

Now, stranded in an alien world with only her comrades at her side, things had changed after Mado-chi's time with that damn SOS Brigade had made her gain much more of a spine. And when one pulled the shortest stick in the lottery, which would naturally NEVER happen to Sakurako, noooooo, then Iinchou, Chisame and the Vice-President made damn sure one washed, not only one's own clothes, but those of the rest of the girls as well, for the day. Supposedly the others had the equally important and necessary job of keeping watch so she didn't get eaten by Heartless, but she didn't see why they couldn't do that and wash their own suspiciously-stained underwear themselves.

And if there was something Misa had never wanted to touch, much less rub over and over, that had been Haruna's underwear, no doubt. The girl wasn't on her list. She used to be, but repeated exposure had kept lowering her ranking until she'd ended up in the 'might kick out of bed depending on what she'd done recently, but wouldn't be inclined to keep any souvenirs' percentile.

 _Somewhere else, Cinderella sneezed, then rubbed her nose and kept on working under her stepmother and sisters' stern watch. It was a little known fact that they were around her all the time because, quite frankly, there was nothing to do around the house during the day except watch either Cinderella or drying paint, and since they'd run out of paint and it was still daylight..._

To make things worse, since the damn nearly-ghost town had such a terrible plumbing system, one had to wash the damn things outside, by a small river that ran between the outskirts of the town and the woods. It was enough to make Misa take solace in the only pleasure that remained available for her now. Well, the only one she could partake of in the open, anyway. All right, she'd do _that_ in the open too, but only if she was _really_ bored...

Taking a brief pause in her forcefully imposed activity, she opened her arms and began singing, beautifully as ever, a typical 'I Want' expression of her dreaming, repressed, eager-to-be-free soul...

A few moments later, Ayaka, who had approached Misa both to make sure she was okay and to make sure she wasn't slacking, walked in on her to see her, much to Ayaka's shock, blanketed by animals; birds posed all over her shoulders and head chirping happily; squirrels, chipmunks and bunnies tightly pressed against her from all sides, some going at it like, well, squirrels, chipmunks and bunnies; butterflies stuck to her body everywhere, and even a pair of turtles napped at her feet.

Misa's face twitched twice. "I hate fantasy worlds," she decided.

Ayaka just stared as the brown bear cub that had just arrived started rubbing itself against Misa's smooth legs. "Perhaps we should leave this to Karakuri-san before its mother arrives."

* * *

 **Ala Alba's Square Masterpiece Theater!**

 **Contractually Obliged to Fanservice.**

"Aerith-san," Sakurako said, peeking out the living room's back door, "the bath's ready, won't you come in?"

Aerith looked up from the daily report she had been writing. Not from her diary, mind. Her daily report, for the day she returned to her world with a story to tell the oncoming generations! Yes. That.

"Oh, so you're already done?" she asked back.

"Ah? No, we're bathing all together. Since, you know..."

"Oh, right, we're saving water, of course," Aerith said, standing up and taking her jacket off. Traverse Town's plumbing system and water reserves, after all, left a lot to be desired, easy as that had been to forget while they weren't living with over twenty newcomers from another world.

"Yeah, that, and supplying mass fanservice scenes," Sakurako nodded.

Aerith blinked. "I beg your pardon?"

"It's been ten chapters now, and none of us has gotten naked yet," Sakurako replied, shrugging. "What can we do?"

Aerith stared widely at her, then her eyes warily drifted towards the fanfic's audience. Her gaze remained there for several moments, as her face tightened, and then she relented with a sigh. "Okay, sorry I asked the question I never asked in regard to the explanation you never gave."

Sakurako nodded. "You're very understanding. What can I say? It's a living. Things have dried up for us very badly since 2012." And then she shook a fist to the skies, well, the ceiling anyway, and cursed, _**"UQ HOLLLLDERRRRRRRR!-!-!-!-!"**_

* * *

"Perhaps," Aerith said, an eyebrow almost twitching as she sat naked in the open-air tub of the hideout, between a softly chuckling Haruna and awkward looking Ai, "we should have thought this through. Aren't we too tight in here? This bath wasn't made for that many..."

"It's tighter than it was back at home, but this is nice too!" Haruna happily said.

"— that isn't your hand on my ass, is it?"

Sora, who was sitting gloomily at Haruna's other side, suddenly tensed up. "Wait, I thought both of hers were on mine!"

"They were!" Haruna protested. "I never touch on the first date! Not that low, anyway."

"— I'm sorry," Ai miserably said.

The other girls all, but Lala, who simply let out a high pitched giggle, stared in shock at her.

Ai began whimpering. "I just wanted some screentime! Sorry for being desperate enough as to resort to such shameless and blatant fan pandering tactics for a mention! But, but I'm afraid I'll stop existing if I spend too long without being mentioned by the narration! It happened to my classmate Usui-kun, you know!"

"... who?" Matoi asked.

"..." Aerith said. And then, "Okay, I'm not mad at you... J-Just never do it again, right?"

"R-Really?! That, that's so nice from you, Gainsburroughs-san!"

"Gainsborough," Haruka corrected from the other end of the crowded pool, completely oblivious to the dirty looks Makie was giving her breasts.

"Vice Prez, please," Yuuna grunted, "Aerith-san's name is—"

"Um, actually, she got the name right..." Aerith said.

Everyone but Haruka and Aerith (even Lala this time!) gained sudden expressions of utter terror and then (other than Saber, who only sat quiet but still terribly shaken) began screaming in panic.

Aerith gave Haruka an aghast questioning look, and then the Vice President of the Mahora Student Council simply shrugged and made a circling gesture to the side of her own head.

"My God," Aerith deflated, "perhaps Tifa got off easier when she was stabbed through...!"

* * *

 **To be Continued**.


	13. Pactio

Akamatsu Ken and Kodansha created and own _Mahou Sensei Negima!_

Nasu Kinoko and Type-Moon created and own _Fate/Stay Night_.

Yabuki Kentaro, Hasemi Saki, and Shueisha created and own _To Love Ru Darkness_. By the way, that ending, what a piece of crap, huh?

The Walt Disney Company created and owns _Mickey Mouse's Clubhouse_.

We make no money from this.

* * *

 **The Keys of the Kingdom HD 2.8 Final Chapter Prologue Turbo Hyper Champion Edition Gold**.

 **By OverMaster and Shadow Crystal Mage**.

* * *

 **Chapter Eleven**.

* * *

 _Mahora of Darkness:_

Mikado Ryoko drew in a very deep breath. "Okay. If anyone wants to leave the ship, this is your last call. I'm serious, guys."

Professor Akashi sighed and pushed his glasses up his nose. "There's no point in going back by now, at least not for me. Naba-kun, Ku-kun?"

"Amazons no go back on given word either," Ku clenched a grin, slamming a fist on the palm of her other hand. "Besides, good teacher must watch for pupil! I want see if Negi-bouzou hold his own in alien worlds, aru!"

"My mind has been made up as well," Chizuru evenly replied. "I understand whatever happens next to me is my own responsibility, whether for good or ill."

"Now, now, that's such a wrong thing to say, Naba-kun," Mikado mused while slowly running a hand over the controls that looked alien even to her, hoping the A.I. running the ship and the instructions the anthropomorphic rodent had left her with would be enough. "It's also the fault of the teacher who allowed someone under the legal age go into a trip not authorized by your father or the Headmaster's office."

Caster glared at her while tightly hugging Akashi's arm in the standard _'this is my man, look at how I'm pressing my tits against him? **My man** ' _way _._ "You're a staff member as well, have you forgotten that already?"

"I'm nothing but a nurse, an angel of mercy who must always be by the students to heal their wounds, even in the unknown wilderness!" Mikado piously said. "I don't have the authority of a teacher!"

"Were you no teaching in Perverted Beast-sempai's class only few chapters ago?" Ku Fei asked.

"I have no idea what're you talking about, Ku-kun," Mikado answered even more piously, before asking the A.I., "Toodles-san?"

"I'm ready wherever you are!" the happy mouse face chirped, appearing on all screens now. "However, we can't take off until you all have fastened your seat belts on, toot-toot!"

"I swear, you sound like park attraction recorded message," Baka Yellow grumbled, tightening her seat belt on reluctantly despite her hatred of those uncomfortable, restraining things. "Okay, now you happy? I only one no without it on yet, so get start already, aru!"

"You don't have to get so angry..." Toodles pouted before switching back to obnoxious, high pitched enthusiasm again. "Okay! Here we go! Three! Two! One!"

Ku blinked. "What, now I think about it, maybe I want to use toilet before—"

"ZERO!" Toodles shouted, giggling almost maniacally as the whole ship suddenly rattled in a sharp, abrupt vertical line, shooting up in a breakneck flash that turned everybody but Mikado's stomachs around.

"AAAAAAIIIIEEEEEEE!" Chizuru and Ku shrieked, martial stoicism and Yamato Nadeshiko steadiness lost in a second, instinctively reaching for and hugging each other while the Gummi Ship zoomed through the atmosphere, in an almost perfectly straight way.

"Oh Gods I had no idea it'd be like this please Great Zeus Almighty forgive our arrogance by boarding this vessel into your most holy domaiiiiiiiinssssss!" Caster cried, belatedly learning she had developed a fear of flying after that unfortunate crash with the golden chariot, and almost crushing Wataru's arm in her vicious grip.

The teacher's hands tightened on his seat's handlebars while his eyes grew tiny behind the glasses. "I'm so sorry, Yuuna, please live on and be strong...!"

"Hey, what are you all making so much of a fuss about?" Mikado frowned back at them, tilting her head aside. "This is normal escape velocity acceleration! Honestly, you're a bunch of babies even for first timers..."

"Wheeeeeee!" Toodles cheered, its image bouncing from screen to screen. "Isn't this a whole lotta fun...?!"

Ku waved a fist at it. "Ku Fei going to smash you to bits as soon as tummy stops turning around, you... you thing!"

In the meanwhile, down below, King Mickey stood in silence on the grassy hillside, watching them gain altitude until they became a distant sparkle in the dark sky. He exhaled.

"Golly. I just hope I did the right thing. But, one way or another... you might be the last survivors of this world, guys. Godspeed."

Then he spun back on the heels of his oversized shoes and briskly ran, following the trail of destruction left behind by the gigantic beast.

Then he paused. "Did I remember to hide my cheese?"

* * *

"Approaching the breaking point, hold on your seats!" Toodles cheerfully sang, bouncing and rolling around the screens, ears flapping. "Isn't this exciting?! Wheeee!"

"Wa-Wait, what breaking point?!" Ku demanded, abruptly pushing the still terrified and stomach-turned Chizuru aside and off herself. "It point where our bones break from speed, you nasty, traitor thing?! Agh, James Cameron right, all machines except Chachamaru evil! And not really sure about Chachamaru!"

"Wait, Karakuri-san's a machine?" Akashi said.

Toodles laughed aloud in a high-pitched, annoyingly fake way that brought to mind evil computers and murderous holographic little girls that worked in zombie movies. "Why, of course nooooot! It's just the point where we reach enough warp speed as to break through the dimensional opening that brought us here in the first place! Let's do the countdown again! Three! Two! One!"

Ku sank back into her seat, clawing at the armrests and snapping them into splinters. "This why man no fated to fly! Woman too!"

"ZERO!" Toodles jubilantly cried, flashing 'SUCCESS!' messages all around, and then everything became a blinding flash around the improvised travelers.

Moments later, feeling a strange, still peace and silence return so quickly after the ultimate shakedown, Chizuru warily opened her eyes again while asking, "Are... Are we still alive?" All things considered, this was probably a legitimate question.

Caster quickly pulled her mouth away from the stunned Wataru's, primly touched hers lips with the back of a hand, and softly answered, "I believe we are, yes... Sensei? Are you... feeling okay?"

Her Master nodded stiffly, then took his glasses off and rubbed his eyes, hoping to unsee the spots dancing before him. It was less that he was disoriented and more that they were shaped like dancing pink elephants, which was highly disturbing. "Y-Yes, thanks for asking. Are we, now...?"

"This isn't the outer space panorama one should be seeing right after leaving Earth's orbit, I can tell you that much," said Mikado, far more professionally than usual, as she checked on all the surveillance instruments and got a clear view of the sector they were currently zooming through. "Not enough garbage, for one thing, and the moon is missing. As a matter of fact, I can't even recognize our surroundings from any chart of the Galaxy I've ever seen before. Toodles-san?"

"This," the navigator told her, "is the equivalent to your Sector 2814 in our home universe. Your Green Lantern Corps don't exist in this plane of reality, much less hold any authority over it. However, there is one local Galactic Federation, but I'd advice against contacting it until we have signaled Queen Minnie! We need to find your friends soon, but the Federation and Star Command would make us sort paperwork out for weeks first..."

Akashi nodded while putting his glasses back on. "Bureaucracy is the same everywhere, after all. Odds are they'd throw us into a cell until everything is sorted out, right? But, are you sure we can sneak past them?"

Mikado smiled. "I've got experience getting past planetary blockades. Let's just say I didn't always get along with the Deviluke royal family. If I could survive them, I'm sure I can survive past anything this universe has to throw at me."

"Mikado-sensei, I've taught Katsuragi Keima's class enough to know that's a major flag you just raised," Wataru said. "So I'm pre-emptively declaring that getting captured is your fault."

"Yeah, you know you tempting fate with that, right?" Ku agreed, arms folded. "Anyway, so you actually alien, then?"

Mikado rolled her eyes. "Hadn't I made that clear enough by now? Look," she added, reaching around to pull enough of her brown hair back as to reveal the sharp, pointy shape of an ear, "do this look like a human ear?"

"I think it's a rather sexy type of ear," Caster said appreciatively. "Of course," she added, looking towards Chizuru, who was now leaning onto the nearest window, both hands on the frame and her mouth slightly open, "some of us would rather see true beauty elsewhere."

Not that she could blame the young woman, either way; the majestic scenery of the open space was truly breathtaking. Faced so closely with a stellar map unlike anything she'd ever seen before through the best telescopes her father's fortune could buy, Naba was honestly moved beyond words, gaping like a small child in awe of what she was witnessing.

 _"No— no words. No words to describe it. Poetry! They should have sent a poet. So beautiful. So beautiful... I had no idea..."_ she mouthed reverently, looking on the verge of crying.

And then, since she was a modern teenager after all, she puled her cellphone out and began taking picture after picture of the wonders of the great beyond.

Mikado sighed. "Believe me, it stops looking that special after your first few flights. Enjoy it while you can. So, Toodles-san? Are you sure you can take us to Negi-sensei and his Society?"

"I'm still out of range of Queen Minnie and the Castle, but I've got a solid reading of Sir Donald's ship stationed on Wonderland!" Toodles reported. "I can take us there in..." Then it stopped.

Ku sighed, shoulders slumping. "I knew it. Too good to last. Then they call I Baka."

"Yes, your fault, Sensei," Wataru agreed.

Caster narrowed her eyes. "Very well, automaton ghost. Tell us what just happened."

"Um," Toodles gasped awkwardly, "it's nothing, I mean, it might be nothing, I need a confirmation first, loading radar confirmation, please wait..."

"Raising flags on its own now, machine really want kill us," Ku said cried.

"Ara ara," Chizuru said, pointing out the window, "I don't think those are shooting stars..."

The rest of the crew followed her finger with their eyes and saw two quickly growing dots of light approaching them through the infinite blackness.

"All right," Mikado's tone grew very cold as she addressed Toodles again, "you'd better have a highly advanced set of weaponry in the event of such eventualities. I wouldn't expect for any less from the ship of a King..."

"We are a pacifist country based on the universal principles of love and brotherhood between all races," Toodles uncomfortably said, "but, but we can defend ourselves when needed as well! Please choose one of the main weapon systems available!"

The main screen split into four sections. One of them displayed a giant arm holding a large mallet sticking out of the ship's hull. Another one showed a black, round bomb that looked straight out of an old American anime. The third one had a cartoony drawing of the ship shooting what looked like flying packs of red TNT, conveniently labeled as such, across space. The fourth one depicted a shiny, black anvil.

"That's no good!" Mikado barked. "Aren't there any more?!"

"Oh, sure thing, sure thing, but I only can show up to four at a time!" Toodles answered. "Here, let me show you some more..."

The first fraction of the next set of options had a hand holding a pie at the end of one of those toy extending arms. Another had a pair of cartoon hands holding a slingshot and pulling back to shoot an angry-looking red bird. Other sections flashing one after another in quick succession while Mikado kept on protesting and the others facepalming showed a tennis racket, glowing pink fairies, a kitchen sink, a jar of jam, a hunk of cheese, several potted plants like peas and walnuts, and a white flag. Only the last was labeled. Unfortunately, the label read 'self-destruct'.

For some reason, a banner ad on the bottom advertised _'AJAX Weapon Systems- Don't be a Coyote, Buy AJAX!'_ and then flashed into an animated add about rocket-powered roller skates.

"Don't click the ad, it will take you away from the weapons screen!" Toodles advised cheerfully.

"... I think I fucking hate your damn metallic guts, you stupid spaceship," Ryoko said, eerily sober and blank-faced.

* * *

"Not that I'm advocating the use of violence," Toodles said, "and I'm actually glad you're choosing to avoid fighting, but I still feel I have to remind you using our weaponry is still an alternative..."

"Be quiet and let me concentrate, will you?!" Mikado said as she kept steering the Gummi ship in a frantic, irregular evasive pattern to dodge the furious laser fire from the two also slightly blocky, but still much more comparatively sleek and stylized, gray ships in hot pursuit. Mickey's Gummi Ship was proving to be faster so far, but not enough to shake its chasers off definitely, and Mikado, the only one of them with any experience with interplanetary flight, didn't want to risk shooting and driving at the same time. That way lay getting your hands crushed from inattentive driving, and she liked her hands too much to let that happen.

She always had been one for stealthy infiltration over open confrontation during her days as a radical college student, which ended up working for her as it was one of the reasons why she was spared from execution, unlike other, more violent rebels and people who turned into giant monkeys at the full moon. All the same, she wouldn't risk having any of the others take control of the weapons either; she doubted any of them, Toodles included, could shoot worth shit.

Ku Fei grounded her teeth together over and over, uneasily squirming in her chair. "This drive me crazy, aru! What good is enemy you can no fight with fists or feet?! This so unfair! I always wanted die in battle, but no this battle kind!"

Caster took another, thoughtful look at the controls. "Given enough time, I could quickly learn about the sort of magic at work here and enhance it, boosting the vessel's speed, but I don't dare do it in the heat of the moment. It could backfire on all of us, I'm afraid."

"Maybe our pursuers can be reasoned with?" Toodles asked hopefully. "Why, I've just gotten a request for contact from one of them! Should I—?"

"Give us visual!" Ryoko commanded, and instantly the main screen was monopolized by a close shot of a hideous humanoid face, thought most of it was mercifully obscured by bad interference and static. It could be said it looked vaguely reptilian, with thick dark skin and deep, black eyes with no apparent pupils. "This is wrong," Ryoko muttered, "looks like a Chitauri, but the type of ship is all wrong..."

Then she loudly spoke in a strange, seemingly unintelligible language mostly made of guttural shrieks alternating with long pitched shrieks that made the others cringe.

The face on the screen quickly answered with a barrage of gruff, garbled nonsense phrased in a similar way.

Ryoko frowned, placed a hand on her chest, and ranted rapidly in more of the same alien language, in a firm, driven tone of protest.

The alien nodded at that, but then lashed out with an even longer and more aggressive tirade that first made Ryoko blush, then to scowl, and finally to make an expression of sheer, unfiltered disgust.

And then the communication link was abruptly cut and Toodles' face reappeared. "That sounded," it said, "like it didn't go that smoothly, or am I wrong?"

"That's... kind of an understatement," Mikado sighed. She tilted her head back to the others. "Okay, basically, these are scouts paroling the borders of this universe. Before any of you ask, yes, this universe apparently has known borders, or at least ones they don't dare venture beyond yet. They don't want to explain themselves beyond that. They just want our absolute, immediate surrender. Or else they'll shoot us down. I assume I spoke for all of us when I basically gave him the verbal middle finger?"

Ku nodded even as Caster and Akashi shared a deep, tense hug. "I seen Paru's manga on what aliens do on people. I no want part on that. I no want finding out if Paru invented that or no, either. You never know with Paru-aru."

"Oh my," Chizuru quietly said.

"All right," Mikado inhaled. "Toodles-san? Can you give us an extra boost to lose these guys already?"

"Only a short one, I'm afraid," the A.I. replied, "but it should be enough to reach a nearby small world where you could find refuge. It's one where the records of Sir Donald's Gummi establishes they landed before its departure to—"

Akashi almost jumped out of his chair. "You mean that's where Negi-kun was?! Why didn't you say that earlier?! Yuuna could be right there!" From where she was suddenly sharing a deep, intense hug with empty air, Caster crossed her arms under her breasts and pouted.

Toodles pouted. "I had just found the exact location, gee whiz...!" Then it brightened up again. "No problem, though, I can do that! We've got ears! Oh joy!" it sang, flapping around and moving its large round ears from one side to the other.

"Ears?" Caster wondered aloud. "What do you mean by that, what kind of strange—"

"TUUUURRRR-BOOOOOO!" Toodles shouted as high as it could. "All turbines to full speeeeed!"

Ku Fei shuddered. "Wait, when you say Turbo, you mean another AAAAAIIIIEEEEEEEE!" she finished as the ship entered another increased burst of speed that turned it into a blazing streak through the cosmos, shooting it directly towards a tiny glowing point in the infinite distance.

* * *

"Somebody set up us the bomb! Somebody set up us the bomb!" Toodles suddenly panicked after the ship rattled again, one second right after leaving the turbulence warp zone, without any prior warning this time.

Mikado groaned, bashed a fist on the side of the control panel, and Toodles quickly regained some measure of self-control. "I, I'm sorry, that's not right at all!" it apologized. "What I meant was, we were hit by a beam while going through warp! Our tail is burning!"

"Okay, that doesn't sound right at all," Chizuru said.

"And I am reading the pursuers managed to follow us through the jump tunnel!" Toodles added.

Caster took a look back and grimaced at the two streaks of light still chasing after them. "Your solutions leave much to be desired, automaton."

"N-Nobody was giving any working alternatives, what was I supposed to do?!" Toodles protested. "You didn't even try using the anvil, I'm pulling all the weight here! A-Anyway, the good news is we're about to reach the planet's surface, and you might be able to find refuge there!"

"Yeah, we can see that now," Ku frowned, looking at the quickly approaching mass of land ahead of them. Well, they were the ones approaching it instead, but you say to-ma-to... "And bad news are we about to crash, right?"

"I'm impressed," Toodles honestly flattered her, "for all you have been talking about your social status as a 'Dumb Person' you are quite perceptive..."

Ku sprang from her seat and jammed a finger forward repeatedly, a vein bulging on her forehead. "I seeing ground growing closer and closer, it no take Chao to see what about to happen!"

"Then please sit back and fasten your belt again, won't you?" Toodles chided, even as even more rapid fire hit the ship from all back angles. "I'll initiate your safety protocols just as I also start my own 'Disney Death' protocols, starting in five, four, three—"

"... 'Disney Death'?" a nervous Akashi asked, while he and Caster hugged again and the Gummi reached terminal speed for a violent landing...

* * *

 _Traverse Town:_

"Chachamaru?" asked Chisame as the gynoid landed before her in the middle of the hideout's courtyard. The robot girl had been hovering over the building for hours, acting as a sentry on the lookout for any uncommon incident happening in Traverse Town or its surroundings, and her turn wasn't supposed to end until two hours from then, when Sora would sub for her in her Artifact vehicle. "Now what?"

"Chisame-san," Chachamaru said. "I just got visual and thermal readings of a trio of approaching large objects just breaking through our outer atmosphere, heading for a collision course in the woods."

"More Heartless?" Ayaka asked, peeking out a window with notable concern.

Chachamaru pointed up at the clear blue sky. "Perhaps. From what my long range visuals could tell me, however, they are aircraft, and all of the Heartless we have seen so far appear incapable of performing manned flight..."

Yuuna immediately peeked out from behind Ayaka, pushing the Iinchou's head down in a comical fashion. "WHAT?! Th-There's an alien invasion coming our way now too, you said?!"

Chachamaru nodded. "I suppose it can be cataloged as an 'invasion' on the grounds we have no knowledge of anyone in this planet ever inviting the presence of any alien entities, but we should consider the possibility of them simply being more stranded individuals who might—"

Yuuna already was walking past them and towards the rundown streets in her Pactio outfit, hastily adjusting her open jacket on herself. "Then there's no time to waste! Come on, Maki-chan! We've gotta see who's there before they get the drop on us!"

"Ah? Wh-Why are you so eager to go there, Yuuna-chan?" whined Makie, who tried her best to keep up with Yuuna's strangely urgent pace. "I mean, sure, I'm curious too, but don't you think that's kinda dangerous—"

"No more dangerous than staying here until they come for us, I'm sure!" Yuuna gulped, actually running by now, which was no obstacle for Chachamaru to easily catch up to her, scooping her under one arm and Makie under the other. "I'm already freaking sick of just reacting to everything, and besides, what if Negi-kun's back, and he's gonna—HEEEYYY!" she gasped as she felt herself being lifted off in flight.

"If you truly believe this could help Negi-sensei, I'll take you there to the best of my abilities, Akashi-san," the gynoid promised as she took off with both Sports Girls, leaving a baffled Chisame and Ayaka behind.

And Matoi of course. She was always there. "Chisame-sama, your sister," the stalker quietly said.

"I know, I know!" Chisame said, placing her Pactio card against her forehead. "Hey, Sora! Bring your ass and your flying car here right now, okay? Something's up and Karakuri, Akashi and Sasaki are checking it out!"

And then there was a huge explosion in the distance, making Chachamaru pause in mid-air with her charges on their way there, and Chisame to wince highly uncomfortable.

"And now that I think about it, bring Konoe and Sakurazaki along too, will you?" the hacker added. "I've got the feeling someone might need some healing..."

* * *

 _Wonderland:_

Once again, a battle had broken out, and Alice had looked for refuge behind a tree, watching over the conflict with a mixture of fascination and horror.

Professor Springfield quickly moved all around the gigantic bunny, shouting sentences in Latin and shooting rays of light and blasts of wind at the beast, most of which seemed to bounce off it doing little damage. A few times, he had taken aim and tried to hit the Mad Hatter himself with a few minor air blasts, but the creature's ears had crossed themselves before the laughing man, shielding him rather effectively.

At the same time, the monster kept on spitting dozens of much smaller, but also faster moving, copies of itself, which quickly got up from the grass and rushed towards Professor Springfield, only to be intercepted and squashed down by Miss Skuld, All of this happened very quickly, so much that Alice was beginning to feel whiplash just by looking at it; she couldn't even begin to understand how it would feel being in the middle of it! Truly, violence was a terrible thing.

So, it went on and on, over several minutes. Miss Skuld covered Professor Springfield's back and flanks as he kept on attacking the core beast itself, but neither side seemed to be gaining a clear edge yet. Although Alice suspected the monster, who mostly sat lashing around at the Professor while spitting more duplicates, would outlast them since it seemed to be spending less energy as the battle continued.

And that was a troubling thought.

"Don't you think," she asked the ermine and mouse at her feet, "perhaps we should call on the Queen? Showing her this would be all the proof we need, and I'm sure she and her soldiers would want to take this... hellspawn down as well."

"Actually, that sounds like a decent idea," Chamo gulped, "but who will go there to tell her— ALICE-NEECHAN!" he cried in surprise, as he felt the girl being violently yanked away from them.

"What? Liddell-san!" Negi cried, his head spinning back in that direction, and allowing the giant monster enough of an opening for it to sink its claws into his left arm, drawing copious blood from the open wound. "AUGH!"

"Sensei!" Skuld yelled, dashing over to hit the claw with her mallet, forcing it to retreat. "Are you—"

"Liddell-san!" Negi ran past her and the others, and towards the screaming Alice, who was being dragged towards the woods' depths by three small Heartless who had just took hold of her. She managed to kick one of them away from hersef, but the other two just tightened their grip on her, painfully, and making her yell higher. "Let her go, you!" Negi swung his staff on them, smashing one of them into the dirt, and batting the other aside, then to catch Alice into his arms as she stumbled losing her balance. "Are you okay?"

"Ah, yes, yes, thanks!" she nodded quickly. She got her first close look at his bleeding arm. "My word, Sensei!"

He clenched a smile. "I've had them worse. Don't worry, it's just— Oh dear, Skuld-san!" he spun back again, looking at where Skuld hung upside down, the huge creature's long tongue holding her by a leg.

"Okay, I think it's time to summon Asuna-san for real now, don't you think?!" the young goddess cried, swinging her mallet only to fail every time, since the tongue was keeping her at enough distance from the monstrous body. "Do it now, now, now!"

Negi sighed inwardly. He was rather saddened by the growing realization it looked like he really couldn't do these things all by himself, that he constantly needed help, unlike his father (or rather, what he was given to understand about his father). What a complete, utter shame he was turning into. A total failure at being his own man, a dependant underachiever, while Erebus-san was so strong, and with such a short added time to develop his might compared to him...

"DAMN IT NEGI, STOP DAYDREAMING!" Skuld shouted as the tongue pulled her further up, Mad Hatter rubbing his chin as he pondered what to do with her.

Finally, the short man raised a pointer finger. "Let us make a deal like gentlemen," he proposed. "If you are a fair sport, so will I. If you will just handle Alice without any trickery, I will gladly release this girl and—"

"No, I'll tell you what," Negi said, holding Asuna's card high, and using his other hand to keep a blushing Alice firmly against himself. "Since you like playing with girls so much, let's just call on another one. Asuna-san!"

"Asuna-san?" the Hatter blinked. "Who in the wide green world is Asuna-san? Oh, you mean—"

Then someone dropped on his head from above, tucking his hat down to his eyes.

"NEGI, YOU IDIOT! IT TOOK YOU LONG ENOUGH!" the suddenly summoned Asuna cried, bouncing down off Hatter's head without even actually noticing she had landed on a man. With a wet gurgle, Tetch wobbled aside and dropped onto the grass. Asuna, startled by the thud, looked aside and saw the twitching Hatter just a few steps aside from her. "Oh well, if you already got him, then why'd you need me... Never mind, stupid question," she added, looking up at the monster lagomorph, which now stood on both hind legs roaring. Asuna twiddled her fingers towards Negi. "My Artifact, please."

With the hand that wasn't holding Alice, Negi picked up the sword he had left on the ground when they returned to the clearing, and effortlessly tossed it at Asuna, rather impressing the young blonde. "Catch!"

The catch was just as impressive, as Asuna's hand gripped on the sword's handle with hardly a second thought or even a glance. It was almost as if she had done that many, many times before, Alice thought dazedly, wondering what kind of life did that girl exactly lead...

 _He took his vorpal sword in hand, longtime the manxsome foe he sought- So rested he by the Tum-Tum Tree- And stood awhile in thought._

"Thanks," Asuna snorted, then pushed the sword ahead, plunging it into the towering Heartless' exposed belly.

 _One, two! One, two! And through and through- The vorpal blade went snicker-snack! He left it dead, and with its head- He went galumphing back._

The massive Heartless then exploded into a harmless, yet very frightening, maelstrom of a thousand black specks being shot everywhere.

"Owie! Nuts!" Skuld cried as she tumbled across the grass, only to spring back to her feet as soon as she stopped rolling. She confronted Asuna in a flash, leaning up to yell on her face, "You know I hated stealing catchphrases, but what if I had died?!"

Asuna rolled her eyes back. "You would have returned home with your Dad?"

"Who would then have flung a thunderbolt on your ass!" Skuld confirmed.

"Language," Negi chided, cringing as he held the large bleeding wound on his arm tightly.

"Oh dear oh dear, I'm so sorry this happened because of me…" Alice stuttered while trying to examine the gap as best as she could. "Being a genius, perhaps Miss Skuld would know what to do…?"

"Let me see," Skuld walked closer to the boy, took a good look, and grimaced. "Ew, a nasty one. But I'm afraid my field of expertise lies everywhere. With more time and resources, I can build a sentient inflatable unit of robotic healthcare, but—Wait. This is no normal wound."

"What's up? Negi's getting cuts all the time while training with Eva, I'm sure we can just take him to—Oh, what in the world is that!" Asuna gasped, after also stepping closer, then to leap back.

"It can't be that bad," Gadget said while climbing up Negi's body until she reached his shoulder. "I mean, it isn't like he was hit in a vital—You know, forget that. Magical medicine isn't my specialty either, but what in the name of Ratesla is this?!"

Negi stared at his wound, which now had thick, black vein-like lines spreading out of it across his flesh, advancing as they pulsed and expanded, turning the rest of his arm lightly purple. What would have Father done in a moment like that? Actually, that was a stupid question, Father would never have allowed that to happen in the first place, while he only could say… "W-Well, it doesn't hurt at all, that's a good sign, right?"

The Cheshire Cat reappeared, floating over the arm and making Gadget fall back on the ground with a scared yelp. "An expert will say if it is or not!" He pulled a comically oversized pair of glasses out of nowhere and put them on to analyze the wound. "Oh my oh my oh mine oh yours oh ours what's mine is yours what's yours is mine. This looks so bad it's good. It shouldn't happen, normally, but what do I know about normalcy? Have you ever been touched by darkness, boyyyyyy…?"

Negi coughed. "Sometimes, a vampire will bite me to feed on my blood, but that's all…"

"THAT'S ALL?!-?!" Alice and Gadget cried at once.

The Cat took quick notes on an upside-down notebook, while a lab coat appeared on him. "Veeeerrrry interrrrresting! Open wide," he said, holding a tongue suppressor. Negi opened his mouth, but the cat instead looked into his ear, and saw five tiny Negis operating a shiny control cabin with Nagi portraits (and a few ones depicting Nekane and Chisame) all over it inside. The depressed looking blue Negi and the fuming red Negi obviously held control over most of the panels, especially the former, while a thin yellow Negi stood at the back, begging in vain to be given some measure of control. The Cat pulled back and massaged his own chin. "The Darkness is strong in you, young Padawan. You are controlled by your darker emotions, mainly your Sadness and Anger. That makes you especially vulnerable to the Heartless' touch!"

"Anger? Negi?" Asuna asked. "Sadness, I'll give you that, but what Anger? Negi always lets everyone walk all over him! He's the last person I ever think of when I think 'angry'!"

"Don't give me Sadness, I don't like it," the Cat wagged a chubby finger at her. "And just because he suppresses it, that doesn't mean it isn't there. He's angry at being left alone by his parents, angry the adults never give him straight answers, but mostly angry at himself over his perceived failures. Someday, it may all devour him alive, perhaps even raw! Not that I can blame it, I rather like raw meat myself…" he purred, chuckling into Gadget's direction.

"D-Don't give us that crap!" Chamo shouted, waterfalls of tears falling down his eyes. "Tell us what can we do to save him!"

"This starts to remind me more and more of what happened at Kyoto…" Asuna mused.

"Oh, don't worry!" the Cat feistily told her. "This won't be a repeat of that! Negi won't die!"

"That's good!" Asuna said.

"But he'll turn into a Heartless!"

"That's bad!" Skuld cried.

"But, being as special as he is, odds are that won't last long and he'll turn into a Nobody instead!"

"That's good! I'm already a Nobody as it is, and I only can go up from here!" Negi said.

"Not that kind of Nobody! You'll turn into a human-like, but emotionless Servant of Darkness!"

"That's bad!" Alice gasped.

"But on the other hand, I bet they'll draft you into an awesome secret organization with incredible weapons and powers, issue you a kick-arse black standard robe, and you even can regain your emotions eventually!"

"That's good!" Gadget said.

"But they'll turn you into an icon of Yaoi and Shounen Ai in the process!"

"What's that?" Negi blinked.

"THAT'S BAD!" Chamo wailed.

"… sort of debatable," Skuld softly mused, fighting off treacherous mental images of Negi and Keiichi coming together in a torrid embrace and then… "AAAAAHHH, NO, THAT'S BAD! THE WORST! THAT'S BELLDANDY'S BOYFRIEND!"

"Whut?" Asuna asked.

"Anyway," the Cat shrugged, "to delete the touch of Darkness, you would need the touch of Light. My, my, if only you had one of the Princesses of the Heart at hand!" he chuckled, twiddling his fingers on his chin and bobbling around in the air. "The Princesses have the ever healing light that dispels Darkness in their hearts, the light that seals—"

"Screw that noise, I have anti-magic! This should do while we get Konoka!" Asuna said, and slammed a hand on Negi's wound.

 _Nothing. Nothing happened._

Well, actually, that was a lie. The dark lines kept on spreading across Negi's arm, now reaching the shoulder, although they went slower now.

"Ahhhhh! Someone do something!" Chamo despaired. "No man should ever lose an arm before he can ever fap with it!"

"What does that mean?" Negi and Alice asked at the same time.

"Ask your parents!" Skuld told them.

The Cat merrily bounced in the air around the pissed off Asuna. "You haven't developed your Anti-Magic enough yet! What a crying shame! You fail at being Kagurazaka Asuna!"

 _CRUSHED!_ Asuna's mind went as an imaginary block of cement dropped on her head.

Alice sank into despair of her own, her shoulders drooping. "It's all my fault, really…" she sniffled. "It happened because he protected me, and he only had to protect me because I'm useless if there's any danger around, and…" Then she perked up, her skin crawling. "Oh, of course. It isn't logical at all, it makes no sense, it's insane and demented and just plain wrong! So it must be right that!"

"If you say so…" the Cat lazily drifted through the air around Alice.

"You said this world's Princess didn't come from this world, yet she belonged here. Which is the same thing you implied about me," Alice told him.

"Did I say that? Oh, me and my big mouth," the Cat chuckled, running a claw across the length of his grin.

"But I'm not of royal blood," Alice said.

"That you know of," the Cat pointed out.

Alice began gesturing with both hands. "But, but, that cannot possibly be, my family is pure and honest, there's no way any of my ancestors could have… well, you know… had dealings… with royalty!"

"Do you want a family tree? I can supply it, but only the censored version!" the Cat whipped out a large sheet marked 'Liddell Family Tree' with most of the branches covered with 'SPOILER' tags.

Asuna's mismatched eyes rolled around. "Oh, don't tell me she had the crazy idea she's that Princess of Whatchacallit. Some people think the whole world revolves around them. That, or she's been spending too long in this place…"

"Princess of the Heart, you mean?" Skuld asked. "It's an easy enough name. And don't reject the notion so easily. Long forgotten princesses often can be found where you least expect them."

"MALE COOOOOOOW!" Asuna said.

Alice grimly approached Negi, who now wheezed and coughed, supporting himself on Asuna. "What do I need to do?"

The Cat looked at his claws the way a bored, dismissive grand dame would look at her manicured finger nails. "Ask the weasel. I've been giving too many straight answers for a day. My stomach is turning itself inside out by now!"

Chamo's eyes gleamed. "You mean…!"

"That 'Pactio' you spoke about earlier?" Alice cringed. "Oh dear God in Heavens, I don't know if I could do it…"

"You said it was your own fauuuuuuult!" Chamo and the Cat crooned at once.

"You guys are the worst," Skuld cringed, even as Chamo began drawing the circle on the ground with manic glee. "Guilt tripping an innocent young lady like that! In no time you'll turn her into a Haruna!"

"Is that meant to be a bad thing?" Alice asked, intimidated.

"Not only bad, but the second worst. The worst is turning into a Tsukuyomi. Don't ask," Asuna sighed, softly propping the weakly protesting Negi in place on the circle. "Of course it had to come to this, when doesn't it…?"

"I suppose it is, after all, somehow reminiscing of the situation at Kyoto," Skuld mused. "Then again, when you keep facing against the forces of evil over and over, it's no wonder you'll keep getting wounds only holy magic intervention can save you from."

"Now that you mention holy magic," the Cheshire Cat said, "I suppose an alliance with a divine being could also do—"

"Alice-san, stop stalling and come here!" Skuld shouted over the Cat's next words.

Alice gulped visible, sweating like a pig in diapers, and trembling as she stepped onto the circle. She looked down at the runes all over the now glowing design and wondered, "Isn't this more like an unholy thing? Will I be able to ever step into a church after this? Or will they have to ship me over to the Americas, to be raised amongst the savages of—"

"Enough with the political incorrectness already, Victorian Sis! My Bro doesn't have much time left!"

"Your fault! Your fault! Your fault!" the Cat chanted before Skuld malleted him in the head.

"I'm sure being a Nobody won't be so bad," Negi gurgled spastically, "The black robes actually sound okay, I wore some of those during my training, and emotions only can get in the way of my rescue mission, I imagine, so you don't have to do anything you don't want to…"

Alice sighed miserably, blushed intensely, and then, much like Chisame had done what seemed so long ago, pressed a hand over Negi's eyes. Something in the back of his mind, probably his Disgust, who now actually looked more like a tiny sneering green Chisame than a Negi, told him this fittingly was the start of a new cycle that would be much like the first one, another string of failures to stand on his own, always having to be bailed out by girls, and that he should be thus disgusted of himself…

The _déjà vu_ and Disgust's rant were both interrupted by the sensation of Alice's hesitating, rather soft and tender lips on his.

"PACTIOOOOOOO!" Chamo and the Cat chanted, dancing around with each other and waving fans, while an even greater white light than usual burst forth from the Circle, shooting up to the sky, and being seen all over Wonderland. Asuna, Gadget and even Skuld stepped back, impressed. Alice, startled by the results, pulled back and landed on her behind, quickly wiping her mouth with the back of a hand as the light slowly faded down.

Negi rasped loudly, adjusted his tie, gulped, and clumsily offered Alice a helping hand. She hesitated, then took it with a nod, gracefully standing back with his help. "Perhaps," she said, "we should have at least started with a proper kiss on my hand, but it is too late for that now, is it not?"

"Perhaps," Negi allowed, then smoothly kissed the back of her hand anyway, making her blush further. To some unconscious degree, perhaps he was an actual player, after all. He easily caught the two cards that were now floating down from way above, and only then looked at his arms, which was back to normal. "Wow. It worked better than I expected…"

Chamo was bawling with happiness. "It couldn't get any better! I have saved my dear little brother! And we have another Ministra! Another cute, lovely Ministra after so long! It feels like it's been years…!"

"Oh, don't be so dramatic," the Cat nonchalantly told him. "It can't have been more than a few months!"

* * *

The next thing Chizuru knew, experiencing a weird _déjà vu_ that seemed to belong to someone else, she felt like some giant hand was roughly pulling her down from in the middle of being squeezed to death in a gigantic wringer of light.

Or something like that. It's difficult to think of good comparisons when you feel like some giant hand is roughly pulling her down from in the middle of being squeezed to death in a gigantic wringer of light.

And then the same invisible force slammed her down onto the grass. (Wait, _grass?!_ ) Or gravity simply took effect and she fell on her face. That's also hard to say for sure when you feel like some— you get the idea.

"Damn!" she heard as Mikado-sensei fell next to her.

"Kyaa!" Ku cried as she fell not too far away, landing on her head on a large boulder that shattered to pieces on impact. Chinese swearing with a touch of Korean followed.

"Oh dear!" the woman with Akashi-sensei could be heard as she fell into what sounded like a bush, cushioning her fall. Ancient Greek swearing followed

"Mother of—!" Akashi-sensei himself could be heard a moment later, along a strong thud. Teacherly swearing followed. It was strangely high-pitched.

Chizuru wondered if it as too late to add her own swearing to the cacophony, but sadly, all the dirty words she knew amounted to "Yes, fuck me daddy, yes, like that!" and variations thereof, and wouldn't really convey how much falling on her boobs that hard hurt.

After yet another moment, there was a new sound of something sliding down a small hill of pebbles to land shuffling inelegantly on the grass, and then a long and bizarre string of more no doubt colorful Chinese obscenities in Ku's voice.

Chizuru opened her eyes and found herself on the dirt of what appeared to be a dark forest, with a crashed, burning Gummi ship half-buried, nose first, into the ground some distance away. Akashi-sensei's partner, Mikado-sensei and Ku Fei were scattered and twisted a few feet away, between some bushes, and then, if you looked up, you also could see Akashi-sensei quite uncomfortably caught between two thick branches, his legs awkwardly spread open, his face strained and pale.

"Ah!" Caster gasped in horror, looking up that large tree. "Mast— Sensei! Are you okay!? Did you break the most impo— sensitive part of your anatomy?! Please answer!"

"Ara ara, Sensei," Chizuru said, beginning to push herself up, "are you...?"

"I am! Don't worry!" he replied in an oddly high pitched voice, nodding rapidly. He tried to shift postion, and suddenly froze. More swearing followed.

Ku grunted, springing back to her feet and shaking the dirt off herself. "Honestly, what freaking big idea?! What did Big Eared-Thing do?! We could have— look, you almost make I sound like Despair-sensei!"

"W... Who?" came a small, squeaky voice from below, and Chizuru looked down to see a little metal device like a smartphone with Toodles' silhouette seared on it, which had landed between Mikado and her. "Oh, never mind, it worked!" the peppy voice emanating from the device said, sounding very pleased of itself. "My Disney Death and your safe ejections from the Gummi Ship were an absolute success, I see! So lucky! We've got ears, we've got ears!"

"We've got..." Mikado sighed, reaching over to grab Toodles' card and lift it high enough to face it directly. "Oh, who cares about the phrasing. I assume this is your backup form?"

"Yeah, I downloaded all of my info from the ship into this copy and then ejected myself along with you!" Toodles informed. "From here, I can be downloaded into another Gummi ship, retaining all the data from the King's Gummi! That includes the ship's monetary value and repair bills, by the way, so I hope you've got solid bank accounts—"

The ship then exploded, making everybody but Toodles wince and tremble. Thanks to the shockwaves rippling through the air, Akashi lost his balance and fell off the tree into the waiting arms of the deceptively strong Caster.

Without missing a beat, Toodles continued, "Actually, mortaging your houses might have just become necessary as well. Of course, your debts would have really skyrocketed if I had been—"

Then a laser blast flew from between the trees and vaporized the card held in Mikado's hand, barely missing her fingers and making her yell in surprise.

"DISNEY DEATH SUBVER—!" Toodles managed to scream before becoming a fine dust falling on Mikado's palm.

Caster, Akashi, Ku and Chizuru looked towards the source of the blast, the former three preparing to fight, and saw four armored soldiers, humanoids much like the one seen in the hostile transmission a few minutes ago, stepping out of the shadows and aiming futuristic weaponry, shaped like highly advanced rifles crossed with laser spears, at them, garbling out aggressive growls and long-drawn hisses.

"Don't even think about it, Ku-san," Ryoko warned, seeing the wide smirk forming on the martial artist's face. "They'll shoot you before you can move a muscle. Strange choice of ships aside, these still are Chitauri soldiers, killers trained from conception to—"

"So I," Ku said with a spark in her green eyes. "Amazon warriors perfect living weapons trained to deal with invaders with guns, this no big dif—"

But before anything else could be said or could happen, three of the soldiers became ice sculptures in the blink of an eye, the chilling beam of magic that had just frozen them barely missing the fourth one, who spun skillfully on their heels trying to locate the source of the unexpected attack and neutralize it. As the scout still aimed around helplessly, however, Ku seemed to blink out of where she had been standing and reappeared right by their side.

Catching the disoriented survivor unaware, she kicked them in the chest, knocking them back several steps. Even though their body armor absorbed a lot of the impact, they still dropped their weapon, and Ku grinned as she readied another roundhouse kick to finish them.

Not that she needed to however, since another instant later, a giant ball of ice fell out of the sky like some kind of prehistoric ancestral refrigerator and crushed the Chitauri directly through the helmet, squishing their head in a gory hot pink explosion of brains, soon followed by the rest of them. Even Ku winced as the alien became one large, stinky stain on the ground, and then the whole clearing seemed to grow deadly cold and unnerving. Caster moved to stand before Wataru, her eyes narrow and a zigzag dagger popping out of one of her sleeves.

"What are you doing here?" asked a hissing, harsh voice coming from the other end of the clearing, where a small figure in black was tossing her hood back and revealing a long golden mane was stepping out into sight, holding a book in one hand and an action figure held by a leg in the other.

Ku blinked in perplexity for several moments, but then her face lit up with a smile. "Eva-san! It's just you, aru! What a relief, you okay too! Negi-bouzou and Chachamaru with you, right, aru? This Nurse Mikado, and this Yuuna's papa, remember, aru? And this his new woman, who with him when we—"

"Wait! What do you think you're doing, you fool?" Caster asked in livid horror, before stepping forward to grab one of Ku's arms before she could meet up with the scowling vampire. "Even if you're a mundane, you still should feel the raw black aura, the massive evil—!"

Evangeline stomped on the grass, and sent a shockwave of spiky ice towards them. The girls, the women and the teacher yelped and scattered in all directions before the deadly attack could hit them, and it only stopped when it hit a tree, which it instantly froze solid.

"Evangeline-san!" Chizuru cried. "Don't you remember us?! What happened to you? We're your classmates, your—!"

"I remember you all too well, idiots," Evangeline sneered. "But right now, I only want to be left alone! **Flee my domains, if you wish to preserve your miserable lives!** "

"… yes, that's Evangeline-san, no doubt…" Akashi sighed and nodded to himself. "Konoe-sensei warned me there could be days like this one..."

* * *

"I can no believe I running from Eva-san, aru" Ku muttered as she jumped after her unlikely travelling companions down the muddy slope they had just reached, keeping Chizuru firmly held in her arms. The bigger girl held stubbornly onto her, her long hair streaming behind her as Ku quickly slid down, quickly catching up to Caster, Akashi and Mikado, who had already reached the bottom and kept on moving towards the following patch of woodland. "I mean, I knew she strong, yes, but never dreamed she bother attacking I, aru! We 3-A! 3-A bitches stick together, aru!"

"Come on, don't waste your time or breath!" Akashi briefly stopped to gesture at her, beckoning her close, "She's definitely hostile and not listening to reason!"

"Eva always hostile and not listen, aru! Don't see what new."

"And you actually attended classes with that fiend every day?" Caster wondered aloud, still keeping an arm wrapped around her Master's right arm. "Why, I'm surprised you all have survived this long!"

"Please," Akashi softly requested, holding a pointer finger before his mouth as he urged others to keep on moving with a gesture. "Ah, McGuinness-sensei," he added in the same low voice, "are you sure you don't have some strategy or artifact to allow us to fight back? I hate to admit it, but our basic default strategy when it came to dealing with Evangeline-san was 'running away while evacuating the students, and letting the Headmaster and Takahata face her'..."

"I'm afraid that here, cut off from my base of operations, I would need some added time and resources to prepare the means to fight back, regrettably," the Servant informed. "I'm so sorry, Mast— Akashi-sensei!"

"I'm sure there's a very interesting and sensible explanation behind the reasoning of leaving us unaware in the same class as a powerful dark magic user," Chizuru said.

"Oh, you know, it's one of those things that we just can't deal with otherwise..." Mikado-sensei said, pausing briefly to look back over her shoulder and through the trees. From there she could see, in the distance, a tiny figure standing at the top of the slope, keeping her book in a hand and a balled up fist covered in ice in the other, then turning around and disappearing back into the forest. "Well, just look at that! It seems she has just quit. This is our lucky day!"

"Odds are that's just what she wants us to think," the action figure she was holding said.

"Oh my, oh my, it turns out Doll-san can speak, too. What a shocking and yet perfectly logical twist, considering the circumstances," Chizuru pondered, faking dull and jaded surprise.

"Gyeh, aru!" Ku almost jumped back. "When, when did you—!"

The alien nurse smirked. "What can I say? I might have some experience with situations where you have to swipe suspicious looking objects from others in the heat of the moment. For the greater good, always!"

"Uh-huh, sure thing, greater good," Caster nodded.

"I was a freedom fighter! Everything was justified!" Ryoko protested.

"I'm sure they were, naturally," Caster nodded again sincerely.

"Actually, she tried to swipe the book away from her instead, but Eva pulled her hand away, so she settled up for me. I think Eva let her to, however..." the action figure added.

"You're welcome to be as thankful for the rescue as you want, buddy," Mikado deadpanned.

Akashi looked back and squinted, keeping a wary eye on the slope and what there was beyond. "Our encounter was merely coincidental, then. I doubt she cares enough about us to keep chasing us after we left her property."

"Yeah. From what I always heard, Evangeline-san never wanted anything but to be left alone... with Karakuri-san, that is. I wonder where she is...?" Mikado hummed.

"Miss Evangeline sent her away, back to Negi Springfield, a couple days ago," Buzz explained. "She's isolated herself from everybody else, so—"

"N-N-Negi Springfield!" Akashi gasped while Ku finally set Chizuru down on the ground.

"Ah, so Negi-sensei is safe and sound as well?" Naba asked. "How about everybody else with him? Especially some attractive blonde with a likable flair for the dramatic?"

"Whoa, whoa, Cadet, slow down," the doll said. "Miss Evangeline usually keeps us boxed away while training Professor Negi and his friends, so we haven't seen him in a while, but yeah, when Jessie asked about them, Miss Eva implied they were okay... Are you one of his students too?"

Chizuru nodded, her lower lip tightening. "I'm the cow," she said.

"The cow?" Buzz repeated, perplexed.

Naba nodded. "I'm sure one of them must have mentioned me that way, or am I wrong? Most surely Kakizaki-san, or even Hasegawa-san, or..."

"They never mentioned any cows, only idiots," the troubled Buzz rubbed his protuberant chin. "Do you have any other name?"

"Of, of course I have, why wouldn't—" a mildly flustered Chizuru said before sighing. "Yes, it's Chizuru. Naba Chizuru."

The living action figure snapped his fingers. "Oh, yes, Miss Ayaka's best friend! She's always talking about you, as long as I've been around them anyway. She's always using you as a benchmark for how Miss Asuna should act..."

Chizuru, despite herself, blushed briefly.

Ku laughed and patted Chizuru's back perhaps a bit too hard. "You give classmates too little credit, aru! They a bit crazy, but hey, aru!" Then she shot the figure a sharp glare. "Then, we are where now, aru? You **can** answer that, can no you, aru?"

"Negative," Lightyear said. "I got confirmation earlier we had been displaced from Mahora today, when Miss Eva made me take her back to the town where we were sold to the merchant who sold us to her. That town, by the way, is not too far from here, and 'here' is a world apart both from us and ours, but I've got no way to know exactly how much, so—"

"As you said yourself, whoa, whoa, slow down, 'Cadet'," Mikado requested. "So, basically, you're a talking toy from another dimension who was sold to that little witch..."

"This is the second most absurd conversation I have ever been a part of," Caster rubbed her temples, her other hand tightening around her dagger's handle. "Gods, please give me strength."

"My rank is that of a Captain, actually," said Buzz, who, while aware he was an toy, still remained fairly respectful of the specifications given in his box. "And, just between you and me, and not be rude about a lady..." he added, confidentially lowering his voice for Mikado alone, "Miss Eva may be little, but is actually far from being young..."

"Oh, yeah, I know that," Ryoko nodded. "I hold her medical files, after all..."

"What is dumbest conversation you ever been part of, anyway, aru?" Ku Fei asked Caster.

The mature woman frowned. "Let us simply say you soon regret it when you hang around a group of testosterone filled men and women disguised as men on a boat out for an epic quest."

Akashi softly coughed into a fist. "Well, now we are apparently safe for the time being, we should establish a few things clearly. First of all, now that we are aware Negi-sensei is apparently in the immediate vicinity, our next course of action should be finding him and his companions, and compare notes on what has been happening to us. Then we will search for the locals and press them on for further information, which hopefully will help us return to Mahora..."

"Are you sure any team Negi-sensei is a part of will stand aside while you brutalize locals for information, Sensei?" Mikado pointed out.

"Who said anything about brutalizing them?" Akashi frowned. "I'm just going to politely request information on how to get my baby out of their festering hellhole in the middle of nowhere. Unless they've done anything to her, in which case 'brutalizing' doesn't describe what I'm going to do to them either..."

"Well, Paru is part of that team, is no she, aru?" Ku shrugged. "She definitely up for torture of aliens or BY aliens, aru. Paru messed up like that, aru."

"C-Come on, now, Saotome-san isn't quite that bad..." Chizuru tried to disagree with her. "Is she...?"

"No, I wouldn't say that much. She may act the part, but she is actually far more restrained in action than with words," a gentle voice said from between the nearby trees. "Pleased to see you again, Akashi-sensei, Mikado-sensei, Naba-san, Ku-san. And... I'm sorry, but I don't recognize you, Miss...?"

Chizuru's head snapped back towards the calm green haired beauty who had just stepped into sight, holding a girl under each arm, all of them covered in leaves from the tree branches above. One of said girls had dark brown eyes that were as round and wide as saucers right now, while the other one only laughed and waved dumbly at them.

Akashi Wataru opened his mouth as wide as it would go immediately. "Yuuna-chan...? Yuuna-chan!" he gasped. "It IS you! You're... **alive!** "

" _Dad!_ You found us...!" Yuuna cried happily. Then she quickly got her priorities in order. "Who's that woman rubbing her tits on your arm?"

* * *

 **To be Continued**.


	14. Princess of the Heart

Akamatsu Ken and Kodansha created and own _Mahou Sensei Negima!_

Reverend Charles Lutwidge Dodgson, better known as Lewis Carroll, created _Alice's Adventures in Wonderland_.

Fujishima Kosuke and Kodansha created and own _Oh my Goddess!_

The Walt Disney Company created and owns _Chip 'n Dale Rescue Rangers_.

Once again, we make no monetary profit from this fanfiction adaptation of a videogame adaptation of an animated adaptation of Reverend Dodgson's wonderful original.

* * *

 **The Keys of the Kingdom HD 2.8 Final Chapter Prologue Turbo Hyper Champion Edition Gold**.

 **By OverMaster and Shadow Crystal Mage**.

* * *

 **Chapter Twelve**.

* * *

"There's a perfectly good and rational explanation for this," Akashi-sensei quickly told Yuuna, as the mysterious woman kept on clinging to his arm.

"Why, yes, indeed there is, Akashi-kun!" Mikado smiled, stepping forward while Akashi-sensei squirmed visibly. "This is Donet McGuinness-sensei, your father's old comrade and friend from overseas, and there's absolutely nothing wrong with this innocent display of platonic closeness involving mashing her breasts against his flesh."

Makie blinked, then asked Ryoko, "Why are you in your underwear?"

Mikado smiled again and shrugged, still not bothering to tie up the open coat she wore over the racy lingerie. "I was caught in a hurry in the middle of the night. When you grow up you'll understand the need to leave everything behind, decency included, in the middle of emergencies."

"Oh, so you weren't in a threesome?" Makie asked.

"Sadly, no," Mikado said.

"Wh-Why do you know about things like that, Sa-Sasaki-kun?!" Wataru protested, then coughed at Yuuna. "Daughter, I know this lady doesn't like Donet Velvet, but—"

"It's been quite a while since the last time I saw the Velvets, yeah," Yuuna coldly grunted, "but it's not like they aren't our friends on Facebook, dad. Hell, I have their photo from their last week's anniversary right here!" she spat fire, holding her cellphone up. "So tell me, who's this woman who's definitely not Donet-san?!"

Mikado put a hand on her cheek and feigned shock. "Aaaahhh, Sensei! How unruly and ungentlemanish of you, lying to a fellow teacher like that...!"

Chizuru shook her head. "Truly deplorable, if I may say so."

Ku blinked. "I don't get this."

"Hiiiiii!" Konoka waved as Setsuna gently flew her down not too far away, carefully placing her on her feet on the grass. "Oh, Chizuru-san, Ku-chan, Sensei and Sensei! It's so good to see you all again! How in the world did you get here?"

"Nice to see you as well, Konoka-san," Chizuru nodded at her, pointing at Setsuna. "Um, before we answer, please do tell, why does Sakurazaki-san have wings?"

"OhdearyouhavejustfoundmyshamefulsecretNabasanIhappentobeamutant," Setsuna muttered quite uncomfortably, quickly hiding her white wings back and looking aside while Ku approached her and they silently bumped fists together. "PleaseacceptmeforwhatIamokay?"

Konoka giggled at Chizuru, who for once wasn't smiling back. "Long story. Don't you worry about Iinchou, she's all right and... oh, who's the lovely lady with you guys? I don't think I've had the pleasure..."

"Neither do I," Yuuna said between clenched teeth, tapping a foot down on the dirt, "and I'm still waiting for an explanation..."

Her father took his glasses off and sighed. "Do you think you're the only one in need of some explanations, young lady? Think again! In any case, this isn't the time or place to be discussing anything, not even why there's a flying car hovering right over us right now!"

"I-I-I just came to see if I could be of any help!" eeped Sora's voice from above.

"So, hm, Sensei," Setsuna warily asked Mikado, "Please forgive my curiosity, but why would you be walking around an alien planet in your underwear, anyway?"

"I came from a Lesbian Club meeting," Mikado said.

Setsuna blanched. "W-was that tonig– er, how interesting, an organization I know absolutely nothing about!"

* * *

 _Wonderland:_

Alice looked at the card in her hands. It was very pretty, she thought, depicting her in her current attire, floating upside down in regard to the card's text, and surrounding by small doors while holding a flsk of liquid close to her chest. Under her picture, there was her name, spelled as 'Alicia Liddell', and a saying in Latin: _Nullum magnum ingenium sine mixtura dementiae_.

Despite everything, she couldn't help smiling. "What does it mean?" she asked aloud.

An embarrassed Negi looked at his feet and reluctantly answered, "There is no great ability without a mixture of madness."

"As I said," the Cheshire Cat's incorporeal smile said, hovering around, "We are all crazy here!"

"I suppose we are," Alice allowed. "And what am I supposed to do with it now?"

"Close your eyes, say 'Adeat', and you'll have a surprise!" Chamo said.

"Chamo!" Negi hissed, while Alice's eyes tightened close.

"Very well, since I have gone this far ahead, what is the difference now if I just—? _Adeat_ ," she ended up saying, and felt a soft, brief drift all over her body while Negi blushed and looked intently aside.

She opened her eyes again, and found herself wearing the same clothes, so she supposed thankfully that strange sensation of being suddenly denuded for a blink had been nothing but a mistaken perception. In her left hand, now there was one of those flasks she had drank from a few times through her stay at Wonderland, bringing her so many headaches from constant changes of size. She read aloud from its label, "Swallow me once to grow taller, swallow me twice to grow smaller."

"That doesn't look like a very impressive Artifact," Asuna said.

"No, actually, it might be quite useful," Skuld disagreed. "It's like Pym Particles in a bottle!"

"Pym what?" asked Gadget, Asuna and Alice at the same time.

"Never mind the exact name," Skuld said, "but just think about it! Growing the size of a giant or becoming small enough to avoid detection at will, that's useful both for attack and infiltration!"

"Well, it has already happened to me several times," Alice said, "and I haven't found it to be too advantageous at all. I'd prefer discussing more important subjects right now, Professor, like what are you going to do to clear my honor..."

"Aaaaaand this is a repeat of what happened with Vice Prez-sempai, too!" Asuna said.

Skuld nodded, folding her arms behind her back. "Poor Negi."

"He doesn't need your pity! You're girls, you wouldn't understand a man's needs or feelings!" Chamo said, a moment before Skuld blandly placed a heel firmly on his head.

"Y-Y-Your honor?!" Negi gulped.

Alice nodded very seriously. "Certainly! My father was going to start looking for suitors for me next year, and I can tell he'll be very disappointed I have been rendered useless for marriage long before that date. I'll be the shame of my family, and my family will be my town's shame, if you don't—"

Negi's brain began blocking Alice's words out as his teeth clacked together noisily. No, this wasn't going well at all, making him wish for something, anything, to bail him out and buy him some time, at least for the moment, until he could—

He thanked the Heavens when he heard the Queen of Hearts' strident yell of "There they are! Guards, seize them!"

"Your Majesty," the boy placidly said as, again, card guards began surrounding them from all sides, greatly startling the girls. "It's good, _really_ good to see you once again. May I ask how you found us so soon?"

The Queen, who stood surrounded by cards along the cowering King and the highly concerned White Rabbit, took a deep puff of air, in red-faced indignation. "As soon as your sorcery took that harlot away from our lawful imprisonment, I just knew I would have to look in the scene of your prior crime! After all, criminals are a superstitious lot of recurring habits!"

In the grass, the Mad Hatter twitched, as if reacting to the last few words.

"Of course," the King shyly pointed out, "the huge pillar of light coming from this point helped to clue us, as well."

The Queen looked at the downed man with disgust. "Is this the Mad Hatter you spoke of?"

"Yes," Negi said, "But I'm afraid we don't have solid proof of his guilt anymore, so you'll have to let him live..."

The Queen waved a hand magnanimously. "That's okay, I'll trust your word and have him beheaded. Of course, since you somehow helped a convict escape, your heads will be off as well. Except the goddess', of course."

"That's actually quite nice from y— I mean, no!" Skuld said.

"Oh?" the Queen raised an eyebrow. "So your celestial decree would be you would prefer losing your head along theirs?"

"WROOOOONG!" Skuld shouted. "We gave you a culprit, you can't possibly have us beheaded anymore! Just behead him and let's get this over with!"

"No!" Negi protested. "Evildoer or not, I can't allow a man to be decapitated as long as I have any say on it!"

"I support Professor Negi's claim!" Alice said.

"Thank you, Miss Liddell!" Negi smiled.

"I mean," Alice told the Queen, "the rightful sentence for offenders against the crown is proper death by hanging! Everyone at the Isles knows that!"

"Ugh," Negi's face went blank for a moment.

The Hatter opened an eye and began whimpering, shaking violently. "Oh please, Your Majesty!" he garbled out, face still to the grass. "I'm only a very poor hatter!"

"You're a very poor speaker," dared to say the King.

The Hatter kept on sobbing with a trembling voice. "You will see, I hadn't begun my tea—not above a day or so—and what with the bread-and-butter getting so thin—and the twinkling of the tea—"

"The twinkling of the what?" said the King.

"It began with the tea," the Hatter replied.

"Of course twinkling begins with a T!" said the King, growing sharper and bolder. "Do you take me for a dunce?" At this point the Queen rolled her eyes and began tapping a foot impatiently. "Go on!'

"I'm a poor man," the Hatter went on, "and most things twinkled after that—only the March Hare said—"

"OH FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY, ENOUGH ALREADY!" the Queen hollered. "Off! Off with their heads! Off with everyone's heads! Everyone's!"

The guards looked at each other, then shared confused and fearful looks before raising their weapons against each other's throats.

"Not you! NO!" the Queen tugged on her hair. "THEIR heads! Off with THEIR heads!" she roared, pointing frantically at Negi's group and the Mad Hatter, who had backed away to huge Negi's legs.

Then, just as Negi readied his staff for battle, everybody else froze in place, while the boy felt a very huge shadow beginning to project itself all around them. Gulping, the young teacher rolled his eyes back, slowly, and got a good view of the gigantic form rising all over the landscape, from behind him, making the Rabbit drop on all fours covering his eyes and whimpering. Even the Queen was stepping back now, her face paling visibly, her eyes growing rather wide and round.

"You know," Chamo very quietly said, looking up too, "it's a darn shame even now we can't get a good view of her panties. Blasted Victorian style, that shouldn't even be—!"

For once, Negi was the one to absently place a foot on top of him.

 _"Et tu, Brutus?!"_ the ermine yelled.

* * *

"Wait a sec. I just remembered something. Chisame?" Yuuna grumbled, keeping her Pactio card pressed against her forehead. "We just found, you aren't going to believe this, my Dad, yeah, good for me, I know, no need to be like that. Also Chizuru-san and Ku-san, and Mikado-sensei, remember her? And, well, there's also some very suspicious woman who insists on clinging to Dad. I think she's got something to do with this whole mess and its origins, so you should bring the best backup, preferably Saber-san..."

"Saber...?" Caster weakly echoed, slightly rattled now.

"W-What are you doing with _a Pactio card_?!" her father gasped. "That better resulted from a blood alliance, missy! And with sterilized tools, too!"

Yuuna lightly smacked her lips together and wiggled her tongue in his general direction, which made him squint and hiss lowly.

"Just a second, please," Makie said while also fist-bumping with Ku. "How do we know you're the real Ku-chan?"

"Aru?" Ku quickly blinked.

"Well, yeah, you know!" Makie nodded. "Why would Yuuna's real papa and Chizuru and Ku-chan show up all of a sudden all the way out here just like this? What if you're, I don't know, shape-shifting aliens or demons or evil robot duplicates out to get us?"

"What?" Yuuna frowned. "That's the dumbest thing I've ever— No, actually, scratch that, you might have a point!" She backed away from her father and pointed a finger at him. "That's it, you're some kind of monster trying to trick me by taking Papa's form and then hanging around a hussy, something Papa would never do, to throw me off balance and catch me by surprise! And Chizuru's here to take Iinchou down, and Ku's here for... I don't know, Asuna and Makie, and Mikado-sensei is here for Yuuki-sempai, and—!"

"Hussy, you said?" Caster coldly asked, an eyebrow twitching violently.

Wataru glared at his daughter. "Do I need to start bringing up the secrets between us in front of your classmates? Are you sure about that, Yuuna-chan?"

"Erk?" Yuuna cringed abruptly, as one of Konoka's ears seemed to grow up a little and the Konoe heiress leaned closer, intent and grinning.

"Let's see," Akashi-sensei began counting with his fingers, "I could prove my identity by reminding you of what you did on your twelfth birthday, or how you acted during our trip to Okinawa, or the time you told your grandma you'd—"

"Enough of that, enough of that, shut up, okay, you win!" Yuuna begged, with tears in her eyes and crimson all over her face, waving her arms madly before him.

Makie nodded solemnly. "Really, what you did in that birthday was so out of the line, Yuuna-chan."

"Seriously?" Konoka grew more interested. "What did she do, Maki-cha—"

"Okay, enough usual random bickering, let's all back away from each other until we have all this figured out!" Chisame growled as she dropped from above, much to Yuuna's sighing relief, being held princess style by a smirking Haruna who had just jumped down with her, Saotome School-style, from the branches above. Shortly behind them, Matoi dropped by as well with the quiet stealth of a ninja. "All right, what's the situation? I want a complete report right now!"

"Oh hey, Chisame, nice of you drop by," Ku Fei waved in her direction. "How did you—"

"Sora brought us over, of course, what else?" Chisame pointed upwards, although the trees were so thick they wouldn't let the others see more of Sora's vehicle than the vague outline Wataru had made out moments ago. "I repeat, what is the—"

Mikado sighed, gently pushed Yuuna away from Chisame before she could gratefully embrace her rescuer and earn Matoi's everlasting ire, and grimly told Hasegawa, "I'm afraid we bring bad news, Chisame-kun. Mahora is under siege from every side by, well, monsters from this dimension."

"What kind of monsters?" Haruna asked, growing more serious. "Witches, Orphans, vampires, ghosts, tentacled beasts, rampaging Clow Cards, the annual Twilight-Con, tengu demons, teenagers with attitude, armies of robots, little yellow weirdoes that look like tictacs? You've gotta be more specific than that!"

"Well, I'm not too sure myself!" Mikado tossed her hands up in frustration. "Small, dark creatures who began attacking everywhere, in swarms! They weren't very intelligent, and they couldn't talk, but there seemed to be no shortage of them!"

"Darn, Twilightards too on top of everything else!" Haruna said, snapping her fingers.

"No, the little guy who sent us here called them—"

"Those sound like Heartless, Chisame-sama," Matoi said in Chisame's ear.

"Heartless!" Mikado snapped her fingers after overhearing Matoi's whisper. "That's it! That's what he called them! Sort of a whimsical, nonsensical name if you ask me... but they sure are dangerous all the same."

"I know!" Chisame grumbled, chewing on her knuckles absently. "Dammit, this makes less and less sense the longer it goes on!"

"Where's Ako-chan?" an eager Yuuna asked. "And Akira-chan? And everybody else?"

"I don't know about Ookuchi-san, but we left Izumi-san, Ayase-san, Miyazaki-san, Nagase-san, the twins and Natsumi at the Tatsumiya shrine, with Tatsumiya-san," Chizuru told her. "Oh, and a little girl claiming to be a sister of Negi-sensei, her male stripper wrestler slave, some Sailor Senshi cosplayers and a random boy as well. They wore very convincing disguises, too..."

"Nodoka and Yue?!" Haruna cried. "You mean you didn't bother bringing them here?!"

Chizuru shook her head. "We couldn't do that, they were too far by the time we boarded the ship that brought us here. Besides, we had no idea we would actually make it safely to wherever this is. If I had known, I'd have insisted on bringing Natsumi as well!"

"Okay. Fine. And who's this other woman, then?" Chisame pointed at Caster. "Will you finally tell us about that? She looks kinda familiar, though I'm not sure from where… "

"Yeah, what she said!" Yuuna supported her. "Lay the law down, Chi-chan!"

"Don't call me 'Chi-chan'!"

"Beats I," Ku shrugged. "She already there when we found Sensei and Sensei, and she no talk much with us. Then again, we too busy with more important things as we go through outer space and get shot by giant lizard aliens. This almost as convoluted as plot of a Square Enix game..."

"I am Servant Caster, a summoned Anti-Heroic Spirit brought forth to the Fifth Holy Grail War," Caster said, seeing by now it was pointless to keep pretending, pulling her hood all the way back and completely revealing her face, hair, and mostly those little Spock ears Makie instantly found to be so cute, making her gush. "I am the faithful supporter of Master Wataru, and if you are aligned with Servant Saber, then I suppose that would make us..."

"D-Don't say that word, please!" Wataru begged, stopping her short of mentioning it. "Look, Yuuna-chan, it was never my intention to get involved in a war between, well, those versed in things you REALLY shouldn't know about, much less involve you as well, which is why I never wanted to tell you about this, but..."

Chisame and Konoka simply stood very still, their eyes very wide, and their mouths very silent. Setsuna, baring her teeth, had flash-stepped in front of Konoka, shielding her with her body while readying Yuunagi. Yuuna, all signs of active life blown from her, simply wobbled on suddenly weak legs that seemed to lightly swagger from one side to another, her face as pale as a wax mannequin's.

"Screw your Secret Wars and everything else," Haruna urgently said, "what about Nodoka and Yue!? If you left them behind with all those monsters, how can I be sure they're going to survive this?! And my parents! Dad's too cocky for his own good, he's sure to go challenge all those critters! And, and my aunts! And Mikan-chan and, and, and—!"

Matoi calmly turned around, crouched and Shoryuken'ed her. Nagi Springfield would have approved.

"... thanks..." Haruna said after landing on her head, her feet sticking up in the air, panties showing, her ahoge nailed to the ground. "I think I needed that."

"You sure you don't need another, Paru-san?" Matoi said sweetly, cracking her knuckles. "It would be absolutely no trouble for me to assist my little 3-A kohai again."

"No, no, I think I'm okay with this, thank you..."

"Wow," Chisame quietly said, looking at them. "Now that's what I call living the dream..."

"Oh shit!" Ku muttered. "You just managed to hit Paru, sempai! NOW you sealed your own fate worse than fighting monsters any, aru...!"

"I said I was okay now," Haruna coldly told her.

"We'd believe that if you'd put your feet on the ground and stop flashing us your panties," Chisame said flatly.

Chizuru blinked. "You mean you aren't plotting her brutal, awful, humiliating demise and desecration as we speak? Now I'm doubtful you are my real classmates, to be honest..."

"... no, but I wouldn't tell you if I were planning it either," Haruna mused, finally putting her feet down on either side of her head and trying to push off so as to get her ahoge out of the ground.

"Come to think about it," the action figure still in Ryoko's hand said, "you should have left me with Miss Evangeline. Maybe you still can catch up to her and ask her to keep me?"

* * *

 _Traverse Town:_

"Okay, Naba," Chisame said, crossing her fingers together and staring at the girl sitting across the small table of the bedroom she had been sharing with Satomi over the last few days. "Talk. And I'd better like what I hear. I know it won't happen, but it would be nice."

"Why did you take me away from the others?" a confused Chizuru asked.

"Because—" Chisame tersely began explaining...

* * *

"— by now, we know all too well how these things go, Mikado-sensei," Itoshiki told Ryoko, who sat across the small table of the bedroom he and Keiichi had been sharing. Which made the woman slightly uncomfortable, not because she was in the bedroom of two guys with both of said guys, that was actually rather common fare for her, but because neither of those guys with her were particularly appealing to her. "If we start questioning all of you together at the same time, you'll start engaging in colorful squabbling dialogue with each other. That will lead the girls to start bickering with you as well. And in the end, we won't go too far in the resolution of this mystery."

"Which would lead us to despair," said Keiichi, standing behind Nozomu's chair.

"Quite indeed," the older man nodded.

"Believe me, it's still as much of a mystery for me as it is for you guys, if not more," Mikado claimed. "And shouldn't you two be questioning Akashi-sensei instead? Two guys alone in the same room as a gorgeous maiden still in her underwear! How indecent!"

"That won't work, Sensei," Itoshiki patiently explained. "All females in this company are well aware of how emasculated we are as role models of traditional male dominance. They won't think badly of us over this at all."

"Hey!" Keiichi gasped.

The teacher looked back at him. "Well, it is true, isn't it?"

Keiichi almost sniffled. "Perhaps, but you don't have to put it that way!"

"Either way," Itoshiki's attention returned to Mikado, "despite your ample, succulent womanly charms on shameless display, we still remain in control enough as to assure you, if this is any sort of trickery, we will be able to respond as necessary."

"Then why do you sit with your legs crossed like that, and why is Morisato-kun makeing a point of hiding his crotch behind your back?" the school nurse asked.

"I-I'm not!" protested Keiichi.

"And this is my usual way of sitting," Itoshiki blankly lied. "Morisato-kun is merely optimally positioned to use me as a human shield in the event you would attack us. That you would suggest otherwise, implying lascivious intent on my part, fills me with great hopeless despair! I'm in despair! Being mistaken for a pervert has left me in despair!"

"I see," Mikado said.

"Besides, I don't know about Morisato-kun, but you're not my type. I prefer dignified women."

Mikado and Morisato both blinked, staring at him.

"Now please start telling us, in detail, all that has been happening around you ever since this confusing and convoluted tragedy began..."

* * *

"We only were filming a movie, really," Sasaki Makie insisted, looking away from Yuuna's angry stare. She just didn't get it. After everyone in Ala Alba, Yuuna-chan included, had insisted so much on her saying that whenever their magic was found out, why was Yuuna-chan now upset at her when she did just that?

"When," Akashi-sensei ignored her and asked his daughter, now sitting opposite him in the room she had come to share with Makie, "did this start?"

"Hey," Yuuna pouted. "I thought we were the ones doing the questioning here!"

"I'm the father here, not you, young lady!" he sternly reminded her.

"We still haven't fully resolved if you're my papa or not!" Yuuna protested. "Eva-chan's warned us, demons often can read minds, take over people's memories, that kinda stuff! And don't bother to threaten me with revealing my secrets again! Now we're alone with Maki-chan, and I've been an open book to her!"

"Really, with everything?" her father questioned. "Does she know about the incident with the car, the porcupine, and your mother's—"

Yuuna blushed and made an anguished face. _"Please, Dad!"_

"Um, well," Makie intervened. "You see, it was something we decided just last week, while trading ideas on what to do for the festival, and Madoka-chan was nearby, and commenting on how Sarumiya-sempai was thinking of making a student movie, so we thought-"

"Don't give me that old 'we were filming a movie' excuse, Sasaki-kun!" the teacher warned. "I've been using that excuse since before you were born! Where do you think the idea for Super Sentai and Kamen Rider's special effects came from?"

Makie sobbed. "But even the Headmaster told us to use it when found out! And he outranks you, Papa-san...!"

Wataru gasped. "The Headmaster?!"

"It began during the trip to Kyoto," Yuuna sourly, grimly replied, not meeting her father's gaze. "It's a very long story, but the basic gist is, Konoka was kidnapped and a few of us set out to save her. It was then where I learned Negi's secrets and I had to make a Provisional Alliance with him."

"Yuuna-chan!" Makie gasped. "How can you say those kind of bold faced lies to your own dad!"

"Maki-chan, please," Yuuna groaned bitterly. "Just stop it already, alright?"

"I see," Professor Akashi said, just as grim and sourly. "But, about the Headmast—"

Now Yuuna lifted her face just enough as to look at his face. "What are you expecting? An apology? I did what I had to do. Much like yourself, I guess, right?"

"I can't say I'm pleased, do you really think you can blame me?" Her father exhaled deeply. "Yuuna, what do you think will happen to you and Negi when the Headmaster inevitably hears about this? Do you think that doesn't worry me more than anything else, included what will happen to myself?"

"Um, he already knows, if that's what worries you," Yuuna said.

Wataru paused. "Excuse me?"

Yuuna nodded. "He already knew everything by the time we made it back from Kyoto. Was very thankful, too. Even gave us some money."

"WHAT?!" Makie screamed. "He never gave ME any money, that cheeky old cagey grandpa!"

Yuuna shrugged. "Maybe he only repaid those who were partners with Negi-kun?"

"That's unfair!" Makie whined. "Is it because I kissed a girl instead? He of all people shouldn't complain about girls who kiss other girls!"

"So.. Sasaki-kun wasn't just saying it to...?" Akashi-sensei was staring into the distance, or rather the wall, blankly now. "He knew... And he never told me... What, this, why this... betrayal..."

"Will you stop worrying more about whatever the Principal will think than about what your own daughter thinks when she learns you've been dating and playing magical wargames with someone named 'the Witch of Betrayal'!?" Yuuna cried.

Akashi-sensei's eyes pierced further into the wall, as he slumped down flaccidly in place. "So, wherever I look, it's all the same, everyone was keeping secrets about my flesh and blood from me..."

"Well, that might be simply karma at work," Yuuna mumbled under her breath.

Makie discreetly pinched her arm. "Yuuna-chan! That was mean and uncalled for!"

Yuuna just took it like a woman while wrinkling her nose.

"I mean," Makie added, "Any girl would be upset at learning her parents are keeping secrets from them, I can understand that! Like, let's say, I'd feel betrayed if my moms told me they are retired Magical Girls, and they dropped my twin sister in another dimension, but I still wouldn't lash out at them over that!"

Yuuna blinked. "That was a very specific scenario. Exactly what were you talking about with your moms last week, again...?"

Her father suddenly sprang up on his chair. "One second, why did you call Caster 'the witch of betrayal'? Not only does she hate being called that, not only you never were interested in mythology, but it took her weeks for her to trust me enough as to tell me she was—"

* * *

"Medea of Colchis," Saber clenched her teeth coldly, pacing slowly around Caster, who stood at the middle of the large shed. The witch was standing in the middle of the room, leaning forward bent at the waist while her hands remained bound by an Itoshiki-lent rope that hung from the ceiling. All in all, it looked like the setup of a rape scene. "We know your secrets, we know of your ways, we know the effects of your Noble Phantasm, so don't even try escaping us and your judgment. Fate delivered you to us, so don't even think of cheating your way out, as Casters are prone to do!"

"What a classist, stereotypical accusation to lightly throw around!" the cheating witch said lifting her nose high. "Who is cheating here, Saber? Not only do you separate me from my Master while keeping yours by your side, but you choose to leave me restrained in this humiliating, borderline abusive fashion!" Her butt went 'wiggle, wiggle'.

Saber paused, briefly wondering if Caster didn't have a valid point somewhere in that tirade. "That... That is not cheating, that is merely a valid part of the strategies to hold captives of war... Besides, this somehow simply seemed like the correct thing to do to you! I have the strongest feeling you would do the same thing to me, or far worse!"

"I wouldn't, I'd be completely civil and gentle to you," Caster said. "Why, I'd even make sure to give you something very nice to wear..."

"She might be right, Saber," Shirou argued. "This feels more like we're the bad guys! How can you say she's a prisoner of war when she gave up without a fight? And why bind her hands in the first place, she can just go intangible and free herself at any moment, this is not only wrong but dumb! That is, I'm untying her..."

"Don't you dare," Saber said sternly. "Trust me, Shirou, this is the best way to deal with annoying spellcasters. I've had to deal with quite a few in my lifetime, this all comes from painful experience."

"Actually, no, that won't be necessary," Caster quickly said with a short shake of her head and a faint blush on her cheeks. Wiggle, wiggle. "In all honesty, I believe I'm beginning to enjoy this treatment, Master of Saber..."

"Why do you keep addressing him as my Master?" Saber frowned. "I haven't said he is yet."

"Oh please, why else would you keep such a plain, unremarkable, dumb looking person around your majestic, powerful and domineering figure?" Caster pointed out.

Saber paused again, impressed despite herself. "I will admit, for all the evil wiles of Casters, their insight and cleverness cannot be denied..."

Shirou huffed. "I don't know, I'm starting to think maybe you were right on being harsh on her..."

* * *

"Couldn't I be answering to Ayaka instead?" Chizuru asked, hands on her own knees, eyes awkwardly shifted down, "Because no offense intended, but I believe I'd feel more comfortable around her..."

"And that's why we're handling you instead," Matoi told her, merciless. "Because 3-A-Iinchou-san clearly cares a lot about you, and she would be naturally inclined to believe anything you say no matter what, and— Ohhh, what the heck!" she pointed a finger accusingly at Chizuru. "We know that story you told us was a vile lie! Stop pretending, Cow-san!"

"... Matoi," Chisame said, "No matter how you feel about Naba's figure, there's no reason to insult her like that. For the last time, I don't like big breasts, the women attached to them, or women in general, really..."

Chizuru smiled. "Oh, never mind that, Chisame-san. Actually, I feel vindicated in that at least one of you feels that way about me, after all. Could you please mention that to Lightyear-san afterward, please?"

"You're weird, Naba," Chisame decided. "What a shame, I used to think you were one of the few normals..."

"See, that's why I don't think you should trust her words at all, Chisame-sama!" Matoi claimed. "I mean, who could ever trust a suspicious-acting woman with an obvious unhealthy crush for another female?"

Now Chizuru **and** Chisame stared blunt and silently at her.

"What, isn't it obvious?" Matoi protested to Chisame. "She isn't a part of our Society, but I've still spent long enough around your classroom as to realize she's holding a torch of DEEP LOVE for—"

"Chizuru-san!" Ayaka suddenly ran past her after breaking through the bedroom's door— almost literally— and going over to give Chizuru a big hug that was promptly returned with a warm smile. "Oh, I'm so glad you're alive and well! Thank heavens! Poor Chizuru-san, you must have suffered so much! What I heard from Sora-sempai sounded so absolutely grievous!"

"Hey, now wait a minute, Iinchou," Chisame interfered. "You may be the supreme authority in the classroom, but here you need to tell me exactly why you're so sure this is the real Naba Chizuru before accepting her as such. Remember those shapeshifting slime demons from last time?"

Ayaka broke the hug, keeping her hands on Chizuru's shoulders, before sniffing back at Chisame. "Hasegawa-san, how little you know! You still aren't aware of the perfect bond a good Class Rep has with their classmates? I could perfectly tell any of you apart from any impostors with no effort at all! That is the Gift of the Iinchou!"

Chisame blinked. "No, let's be serious, until Kagurazaka comes back and sees if she can dispel anything these guys have on them, we can't say for—"

"I can!" Ayaka claimed. "A Class Rep knows! I've made a driven, honest effort out of learning all your quirks and flaws, the better to recognize any of you anywhere and help you accordingly! That's how I could learn your secrets so quickly! Why, I even know what Akashi-san once did with her father's car, a porcupine and her mother's—"

"Okay, fine, stop there," Chisame interrupted, holding a hand up to silence Ayaka and dearly hoping Chiu didn't fall under that weird radar of hers. "Just don't complete that sentence, please. I have the strangest sensation I'd only be traumatized by it..."

"I'm not convinced, Chisame-sama!" Matoi said. "After all, if that Iinchou-thingy of hers was a really all that good, she'd have known Evangeline-san was a vampire, Chachamaru-san was a robot and Aisaka-san was a ghost. Clearly it's not all it's cracked up to be!"

Chisame rubbed her chin thoughtfully. "Those are very good points, actually."

"Sempai! How dare you say I don't know my own classmates like the back of my hand!" an indignant Ayaka said.

"Prove it!" Matoi challenged. "Who does Chisame-sama like more, Nerdy Forehead or me?"

Chisame whacked her with a pillow. "Stop phishing Iinchou for private information she may or may not have!"

* * *

 _Mahora of Darkness:_

''—iomiya-sempai, wake up. Wake up."

She could hear it now through the thick haze of her stupor. A young woman's voice, soft yet rather husky, polite but with a harsh edge to it as well. Shiori, always a loner and social misfit, dimly chose to ignore the voice for now, as she was still so tired and any request not directly related to books tended to make her far too nervous for her to deal with them...

And then she was slapped across the face.

Now that woke her up.

"Oh, you're awake," spoke the dark skinned, black haired young woman in priestess robes sitting before her, towering over Shiori's prone form in all of her curvaceous, tall and statuesque womanliness. A more petty woman than Shiori would have been instantly envious. As it was, she recognized her immediately as a classmate of the 3-A Library Explorers, the girl who always borrowed books on foreign weaponry and gunfire theory. She sounded so casual and almost surprised by Shiori's awakening, too, despite still holding her open hand a couple of inches away from Shiori's stinging cheek. "Well then, please get up. We're leaving."

"... ah...?" Shiori said weakly, blushing and almost weeping while pulling herself up to a sitting position on the black futon under her, rubbing her struck cheek and looking in confusion at her surroundings. The room where they were was crowded with all sorts of people, which only made Shiomiya even more nervous and scared. Several of them were also 3-A students, including those troublesome twins who always kept trying to use the library's most distant passageways to defile them doing things not involving any books at all (not even the Lesbian Kama Sutra she'd so helpfully selected for them! How rude!), but there were a few Sempais as well, and even a few younger girls, including Yuuki-san, who would always borrow books on cooking, home economics, and the occasional Brocon Light Novel.

Tatsumiya-san looked out a window while readying a massive rifle in one hand and making Shiori shriek briefly. "It's almost here now. No more delays. It's now or never."

"Where to?" the girl with short red hair who stood by Yuuki Mikan's side, her cousin Nao, asked curtly. They'd been the first to arrive shortly after King Mickey and the others left the temple, along with Inugami Kotaro and his two Class 3-F roommates. For once, she wasn't passively texting while ignoring everything around her, at least not anymore, instead holding an arm wrapped zealously around Mikan's shoulders, her eyes cold and narrow.

Mana paused, staring into the night, where Illya, Berserker, the Sailor Senshi, Kaede, Nodoka and Kotaro were stepping out to wait for the incoming intruder, the dark haired boy grinning and chuckling as he crackled his knuckles together. Mana briefly closed her eyes and thought of a short prayer for them. It probably wouldn't help. Everyone knew only Belldandy had been nice enough to give their prayers a look.

Then she turned back to the group of fugitives who'd taken refuge at her adoptive family's shrine. "I can take you to.. a place where you should be safer than here. Then, I want you to stay there no matter what, while I come back to help the Senshi and the others. And no, for the last time, they aren't insane cosplayers, they are the real Sailor Senshi."

At this last part of her explanation, several hands in the small crowd were quickly lowered.

"Are you thinking of taking them to the old gate?" asked a voice at the back door of the wide room, making the gathered students and random muggle teachers look back and gasp. The small figure hooded in all concealing black spoke directly to Mana, dead serious despite the almost comically high pitch in their voice. "That won't work. You know it's been sealed for too long."

Mana frowned at the newcomer. "Where are Ku-san and the rest? And how do you know about the gate?"

"For now, they should be safer than anybody else on this campus. I made sure of that," the stranger replied over the confused murmurs and hushed questions of the refugees. "As for the gate, I knew enough about this place to come here for help in the first place. My Master told me everything there's to know about Mahora."

"Your Master?" asked a frustrated Fujimura Taiga, standing up from her spot, rolling her striped sleeves back up and taking aim with her shinai. "Okay, mister, or lady, whatever, you've got a lot of explaining to do. You can't just show up here like that in the middle of this nonsense and—!"

Mana silently held a hand up and stared at her, with such fierce intensity even the fabled Tiger of Mahora had to momentarily stop and fall silent. Then Tatsumiya asked the hooded one, "Then what do you suggest? What else should I do?"

"Take them to the gate," the mysterious person said.

"But, you just said—" Mana began objecting.

"I said it wouldn't work if you took them there on your own. The gate won't open for you. It won't open for anyone, not anymore."

And then he hefted his Keyblade vigorously.

"Unless they have one of these, that is!"

Several hands went up.

"No, he's not an insane cosplayer either," Mana said.

Several hands went down. One stubbornly stayed raised.

"What?" Mana demanded.

"Is that one of those 'Key to the City' things?" Minagi Mikoto asked. "You know, those mayors keep giving Superman-sama?"

* * *

"Why did you have a garage behind your sacred temple?" asked Momioka Risa as she stood, along with the rest of the refugees, behind Mana while the miko knelt down to unlock said large garage's door.

"Why wouldn't we have one?" Mana answered calmly without looking back at the sandy blonde. "Just because we are in communion with the spirits doesn't mean they'll make deliveries for us. And where would we keep all the brooms we use to sweep?"

"Why haven't we ever noticed that you had a **huge** garage behind your sacred temple?" further asked Sawada Mio, Risa's bespectacled partner in fondling crime, as she stood by her extremely close friend-with-benefits's side.

"When," Mana asked back, easily pushing the heavy unlocked door up with a hand, "was the last time you visited this temple for purification of the soul, Sempai?"

"Don't give me that," Mio snapped, "I come here every New Year to pray for a boyf—" Then she stopped, gasping in awe at the sight of what he had been revealed for all of them. "Oooohhhh!"

Soryu Asuka Langley picked up the figurative baton, frowning and asking, "And why in the world do you have your **humongous** garage stocked up with enough guns to overthrow the government, and possibly invade North Relasia too while you're at it? How many laws are you breaking here, Miko-san?"

"Tons, I imagine," Mana shrugged while walking in and patted the side of her truck, gave the collection of guns imported from all around the world lined up along her walls a brief appraising look, and then finally looked back at the assembled students and teachers. She counted them all once again to make sure she hadn't lost any during their escape from the shrine proper to the garage, and finally it hit her, there were thirty one of them, not counting herself.

Oddly fitting, in a way.

"Okay," she said, "who here has any experience with guns and ammo?"

The short, fat, slightly disheveled sixteen-old boy with glasses at the back of the group snapped at last from his entranced spell, forced his fascinated stare away from Mana's gun pornography collection for a moment, and eagerly waved a hand up. "Oh! Oh! Me, me, me! Last summer, Dad took me to America for a month, and we spent almost all of it at the shooting range with his pals at—!"

"Nice to hear that... Hirano-sempai, right?" Mana coldly asked, gesturing at him to go and select something from her inventory. "Find something you find yourself comfortable with and make us proud. Somebody else?"

He blinked, blushed in a way that would have been adorable on a little girl but was just dorky in someone his age, and cooed, "She knows my name...!" before eagerly rushing to go look all over the massive collection like a child high on sugar rummaging through a candy store.

As Mana sighed, a dark-haired, shapely woman standing close to Soryu and her mother raised her hand. "I have a license, but I should tell you, I've never been good at long range. Besides," she smiled as she pulled out a Heckler & Koch USP handgun, causing several students to gasp, "I carry mine all the time."

"It won't hurt stocking on more short range, if that's your thing, Katsuragi-san," Tatsumiya told her, gesturing for her to help herself. "Go on, it'll be a free loan unless you break them. And in that case you'll have better things to worry about."

"What... What kind of person are you?!" Asuka asked, bewildered.

"The kind who survives. I hope you're the type too," Mana dismissed the question before staring at the tall, scrawny teacher clothed in solid black, with the round bottle bottom glasses, the messy light hair, and the cawing crow perched on his shoulder. "Rance-sensei? Come on, no need to be shy now. You're from Gotham, right?"

The man pushed the glasses up his nose with an icy sneer. "What an unfortunate stereotype. I never, ever mentioned to any of you I was from Gotham, actually, but even if I were, that wouldn't mean I would be a brutal mad gunman—"

"You do a good job at disguising the accent, but the way you pronounce the 'r's gives you away, and you twitch every time a bat flies over you," Mana simply stated, tossing him a revolver. "This should suffice, unless you want something that shoots 'BANG' flags instead?"

The America professor scowled viciously, but then swung the gun around expertly before holding it by his side.

"You call yourself a survivor and you just gave a Gothamite a gun, Mana-chan?" Asakura Kazumi snarked with a dry, low chuckle.

"Gothamites are also smart," Mana replied very seriously, "and this is a situation where, no matter what, nobody can turn on the others and hope to survive. Okay, everyone, go in the back, no time for more discussions! I'll drive. Rance-sensei, I want you by my side, in the event—"

"Hold a sec there," Katsuragi Misato said. "How old are you, again? I'll drive, I have tons of—"

"NO!" Asuka and her mother screamed both at once. "NOT YOU!"

"Oh, come on!" Misato groaned. "You know I only go a little bit crazy during emerg— okay, maybe you've got kind of a point there, but I promise—"

"NO MEANS NO!" Asuka and Kyoko shouted at her, really meaning it too.

"It's here," Mana said, looking at the mammoth-sized beast towering over the temple, less than a block away, as most of the students panicked and began stuffing themselves into the truck, even if Hirano Kouta still kept on picking assault rifles and Smith & Wessons, happily oblivious. "Let's just go already!" she commanded, gesturing vigorously with an arm as she leaped into the driver's seat. "Come on, come on! Do you want to live long enough to see tomorrow? I know you do!"

She only hoped she could help them actually get there.

* * *

 _Wonderland:_

"Well, now you know how I feel all the time," Gadget said.

"Queen of Hearts!" Alice's voice boomed across the countryside, although very cutely in how threatening it was. "We've had enough of your, your, your cruelty! From now on, you won't have anyone else beheaded ever again!"

The Queen turned to his husband. "Do we have an axe that big?"

"I'm sure we don't!" the King gasped.

"Do we have a guillotine that big?" the Queen asked this time.

"I'm pretty sure we don't!" the King replied.

The Queen tossed her hands up. _"Do we have an executioner that big?!"_

"No, no, we don't at all!" the King cried, pulling his crown down enough as to cover his eyes, while his knees clacked against each other.

"Well, we should!" the Queen huffed, and then arrogantly turned back to Alice. "It would seem we temporarily lack the resources to cut your giant head off, so you will be let go with a stern warning to never do it again."

"Doing what?" Alice asked.

"Why, growing that big, of course!" the Queen said. She waved her fan in Alice's general direction. "You and the goddess may go. As for the others…"

"I said you wouldn't be having **anyone** beheaded again," Alice said. "Perhaps my voice is too big for your ears now, but—"

Despite everybody else in her party now standing several steps behind her cowering, the Queen stood defiant, giving another step towards Alice. "I remain the Queen of Wonderland, and as such I will decide what's the law and what not! At the very least, I will have this 'Mad Hatter' beheaded for his crimes against the head that holds the crown!"

"Oh, that won't be a problem, then," Skuld easily said. "We'll even do you a favor and have him decapitated for you!"

Negi blinked. "Wait, since when do we—"

Skuld clenched a grin and slammed a foot down on his, as hard and yet as discreetly as she could.

The Queen scowled, then caressed her own jaw with the fan's tip. "Would you do that? For me? Why, that's… actually rather mindful of you. No one had ever done that kind of favor to me! Although, it sounds… wrong, somehow…"

"But, but what use is my head for you?" the Hatter babbled. "It is full of naught but nonsense and darkness, the doctors in Arkham said so!"

"I'll tell you what," Skuld told the Queen, "as an extra token of our good will, we will behead him _twice_!"

"Twice!" the Queen's eyes sparkled, and she brought her hands together. Tetch yelped and took a hand to his privates.

Skuld nodded. "And the others will all get fitting punishments that are even worse than death! They will get… _the Saotome Haruna_!"

"The Saotome Haruna? What's the Saotome Haruna?" the Queen asked.

"It sounds dreadful and horrible!" the King and the Rabbit hugged each over, trembling.

"And it is," Skuld nodded. "It is the second worst punishment ever, after _the Urd_. Be thankful _the Saotome Haruna_ never made it to your lands, and pray it never comes here… which will happen if we are hurt in any shape or way, of course."

"I can vouch for that," Asuna said. " _The Haruna_ is terrible indeed. We normally don't even dare speaking its name, and we call it _the Paru_ instead."

"You guys…" Negi sighed.

The Queen had paled, and now fanned herself nervously. "W-Well. There are things that menace Man that Man, or even Woman, should never learn about. Go then, and take these miscreants to the Paru. And never come back! That is my verdict!" she waved the fan down like a mallet.

"Thank you, Your Majesty," Alice said, making a curtsy. "Just one favor to ask from you in return, before we leave…"

"Speak, for no voice is too big for the Queen of Hearts' ears," the woman huffed arrogantly.

"Could the White Rabbit please tell me the way back home?" Alice requested.

The poor Rabbit shook to his whiskers. "Wh-Why would you want to know the way back to my home, Mary Ann? You already work there!"

Alice facepalmed. "Please stop mistaking me for you maid, Mr. Rabbit. I'm talking about the way back to my own home. Up the rabbit hole. You were there, very early this morning, remember? Past the strange room with the talking doorknob, and the bottles of—"

"I'm afraid," the Rabbit said, and he was truly very afraid indeed! "I don't know what are you talking about, Mary Jane. I have never been up any rabbit hole. I live in a house, not in a hole in the dirt."

"Well, maybe it wasn't a rabbit hole, but it was a hole any way!" Alice argued. "You went back down, so you must have gone up in the first place! To the world above, my world, remember!"

"He can't remember what we never was aware he was doing in the first place," purred the Cheshire Cat as he reappeared, perched on Alice's shoulder and waving his tail. "I made him go up so he could catch your attention and bring you down here!"

"You did?!" Alice gasped.

"You did!" the Rabbit repeated, aghast. "So it was because of you I was late!"

The Cat brought his paws together and chuckled, a halo hovering above his head. "It was all for a good cause! If we hadn't brought the Princess here, the Prince would have never found her!"

"Princess? What Princess? What Prince? From where?" the confused Queen asked, then paused, then angrily spun back towards her husband. _**"HARRROOOOLLLLDDDD!"**_

"Y-You're the only woman for me, my little precious winning hand!" the King cried.

"And," Skuld dryly said, "if she hadn't been brought here, then the enemy you mentioned would have never found her either."

"Perrrrhapssss…" the cat purred deviously. "But then, I've always been a believer of giving both sides in a game a fair equal chance!"

"This is no game!" Negi furiously told him.

"Perhaps not for you," the cat giggled. Gadget rolled her eyes and muttered something that was quite racist under her breath.

"But then," Alice understand, " _you_ could tell me how to go back home!" she told the cat. "Please, Mr. Cheshire! My family must be sick worried for me!"

The Cat pouted, then patted Alice's cheek with a paw, leaving small pink footprints all over it. "Probably," he allowed. "But you're one of the Seven. So you must be here, whether you like it or not. And whether I like it or not. But I like it, so it's all okay!" And he began vanishing in the air, slowly.

Alice's eyes welled up. "Please, Mr. Cat! Don't be like this! I'll do anything you want me to do! I want to see… my family… again!"

Only the floating grin remained now. "And so do they, no doubt. And they'll never get their wish if you get yours. Be strong, Princess. Or don't. Either way, I'm sure you'll keep us smiling."

And then the wide toothy grin disappeared.

Alice fell on her knees and began crying.

"What was all of that about?" the Queen briefly stopped shaking the rattled King around.

Negi sighed while he and Asuna crouched down to start comforting the blond girl. "I don't know yet myself. But I swear I'll find out, ma'am."

* * *

Less than ten minutes later, the effects of the growth potion had passed, and Alice was back to her normal size. Chamo had theorized drinking a bigger gulp from the flask would have resulted in an increased duration span for the liquid's effects, but Alice had adamantly refused to try again unless absolutely necessary. Given what they were about to ask from her, Negi didn't want to keep pushing the issue any further.

They had also seen the flask filled itself back after you drank from it, which had prompted Gadget and Skuld to break into a colorful discussion about the law of conservation of the liquid matter in the way back to the Gummi Ship. As for their prisoner, Chamo had suggested forcing him to drink from Alice's Artifact and carry him in a birdcage all the way back to Traverse Town, making him drink refills periodically so he would keep that manageable size; but Negi had suspected Tetch would try to cheat and drink in a way that would make him grow, which would have been catastrophic. So instead he had hit the villain with a sleeping spell and carried him on his back, well tied up, hoping they wouldn't be too squeezed in with two extra passengers during the return trip.

"You, you're impressively strong for a young boy, Professor," Alice couldn't help but admiring, still sniffling and red-eyed, as she and the other girls walked behind the child carrying the grown man. "Are you sure you don't need our help?"

"No, I'm okay," Negi said. He hesitated before adding, "I swear we'll take you back to your home as soon as we figure a way there, Miss Alice."

She only nodded quietly. "I know. Thank you. I only wish... I could help you the same way."

"Damn that stinky cat!" Asuna grumbled, shaking a fist. "He didn't even care about a girl's suffering! What an awful, rotten person!"

"And to think," the cat's disembodied voice said as it hung along her, "there's one like me in each world! Not a Cheshire Cat, of course, for we are as unique as Tiggers. But in each world where there is a Princess of the Heart, you should look for the one being who knows the identity of that realm's princess. Good luck with that, though! Not all of them will be as helpful and charming as me!"

"Looking forward to it," Asuna grumbled. "And how about you? Are you going to keep following us all the way back home?"

"Starting to think of Traverse as your home, Miss Asuna?" Gadget asked.

"Far from it. It's just a figure of speech," the redhead said.

The cat's voice laughed. "Oh, no, no! I have too much fun in Wonderland to leave! From here on, you're on your own!"

"Neat," Asuna said as they reached the Gummi Ship. "Ready then, Alice-chan?"

"Even if I'm not, I have to be, don't I?" Alice mused.

"Oh, don't be like that," Asuna said, "At the very least, you're going to love the view. It's the most wonderful thing ever! And I'm sure the girls will love you, too, although… Skuld-chan? Won't she need a translator thingamabob like mine?"

"Of course she will," Skuld nodded, then reached up and stuck a miniature device into Alice's ear, attaching it to the underside of her hearing canal. "There."

"Wow," Alice took a hand to her ear, "it doesn't even feel like it's there at all…!"

"What the heck?!" Asuna cried. "If it was as easy as that, why did you stick mine up where the sun doesn't shine?!"

"Maybe because unlike Alice-san, you have antimagic, and these devices work on magic, making deeper penetration necessary for you?" the Norn asked back. "It was that or drilling the translation artifact directly into your skull! I had to make good use of the widest available cavity!"

"I don't like what I think you are implying with that implication!" Asuna shouted.

"Don't fight, please don't fight…" Negi blandly asked while Alice awkwardly looked back and forth between Asuna and Skuld.

* * *

Minutes later, from their favorite balcony in the royal palace, the Queen of Hearts, her King and the nerve wrecked White Rabbit watched the Gummi Ship disappear into the skies. "Well, I, for one, am glad they have left," the Queen grumbled.

"Of course, my dear, of course," the King said. "But, um, about what they said regarding executions…?" he shyly asked, realizing too late he had just tempted fate.

The Queen scowled, put a hand around her mouth, and then raised a finger. With a jubilant smile and gleaming eyes, she spoke. "As the giantess said, the proper way to dispose of criminals is by hanging them! It's far cleaner, a single executioner can hang several men at once, and best of all, it lasts longer!"

The King and the Rabbit instantly took hands to their own necks and gulped.

* * *

Not terribly far away, a teacup that had been turned upside down in a wrecked, deserted tea party was pushed back to its proper position, and from under it, a Dormouse stretched, yawned, and lazily scratched himself on a side.

Then he looked all around and asked, "Hey, did anyone leave any biscuits?"

* * *

 **WONDERLAND CLEARED UP!**

* * *

 **To be Continued**.


	15. Highschool of the Heartless

Akamatsu Ken and Kodansha created and own _Mahou Sensei Negima!_

Reverend Charles Lutwidge Dodgson, better known as Lewis Carroll, created _Alice's Adventures in Wonderland_.

Fujishima Kosuke and Kodansha created and own _Oh my Goddess!_

The Walt Disney Company created and owns _Chip 'n Dale Rescue Rangers_.

Nasu Kinoko and Type-Moon created _Fate Stay Night_ , _Fate Apocrypha_ and _Fate Hollow Ataraxia_.

Hasemi Saki, Yabuki Kentaro and Shueisha created and own _To Love Ru_.

This chapter owes a lot of inspiration and takes several cues from Darkenning's work in _Decadent Habits_. Despite that, it includes no incest whatsoever. Yet. Go figure!

* * *

 **The Keys of the Kingdom HD 2.8 Final Chapter Prologue Turbo Hyper Champion Edition Gold**.

 **By OverMaster and Shadow Crystal Mage**.

* * *

 **Chapter Thirteen**.

* * *

For the first time, the Holy Grail formerly of Fuyuki, now corrupted and displaced to Mahora instead, feared.

The sentient force of Angra Mainyu, the root of all of mankind's evil (occasionally best-selling author of vampire teen abusive relationship fiction), stirring within the Grail could feel the slow but firm onslaught of a dark force to rival if not surpass its own. The Grail had become of embodiment of Evil as a destroying force, but now it faced, as everyone and everything else, the possibility of destruction by a different type of force: the Darkness (not to be confused with The Darkness Of Oblivion, the Darkness Inherent Within The Human Soul, Yami the Golden Darkness, the All-Encompassing Darkness, Darkness The Crusader Also Known As Dustiness Ford Lalatina, Jackie Estacado, a.k.a. The Darkness, and the Darkness Beyond Twilight) itself, beyond the concepts of human right or wrong.

The Grail wished for the annihilation of mankind, but on its own terms (which included splitting the last book into two movies, because that's how the successful authors did it). Destruction by the assimilation of existence by implied Darkness went against its nature, even if the ultimate results would basically be the same. That didn't matter to Angra Mainyu. Angra Mainyu knew it couldn't reason with or manipulate the Darkness.

Angra Mainyu knew it was just another target of consumption for the Darkness. After all, that's what it would have done, itself.

Already, its Grail War had lost two soldiers, the Saber and the Caster. On its own, without someone to activate it, the Grail had no way to fight back. So it would have to resort to a last resource it never wanted to employ before.

The Grail needed to play its final desperation card. A Servant to call its own, without the need for a human middleman.

And so, the unholy thing called for something holy, to fight Darkness in terms another force of decay and ruin couldn't supply itself.

The Holy Grail called for its Ruler.

After staring at the more than twelve inches inches of flat plastic that appeared, it threw it out and tried again, with more success.

* * *

 _Traverse Town:_

"So, how it's been going?" Suzushiro Haruka, who had been all but forced to stay outside Saotome's room angrily chewing on her knuckles while constantly wondering if she was doing the right thing, eagerly asked when a mildly disturbed Haruna exited the bedroom they had been sharing for nearly a week now ever since Aerith had thrown Haruna out of her room. "What did she say? Do you think she's really—"

Haruna supported herself against a wall, a thick eyebrow twitching. "I think she's telling the truth. I wasn't sure at first since she kept forgetting to say '-aru' and was using first person pronoun–"

Haruka slammed a fist into her other her hand. "Aha! Definitely an impersoter!"

Haruna raised a hand. "I thought so too, but she's Ku-chan all right. She's gotta be, she knows things only my roommate would know..."

Haruka sneered. "Things no man or woman is prefated to know, I'm sure."

"Also, I managed to steal her panties after she sat down and confirmed the smell and taste was right," Haruna said, holding up said garments. It had a slightly munched-on look. Some of the stains looked strangely like teethmarks.

"How did you pilfidy that if she'd sat down?" Haruka asked, before she remembered there were things she really didn't want to know the answer to.

For a moment, Haruna gave her a prideful look that just managed not to outright say 'bitch, please'. "I'm the Grandmaster of the Original Anything Goes Style, learned from Happosai himself. There are no panties I can't steal!"

Haruka deliberately took a long step back from Haruna. "Poor girl, you should have let me questionate her after all. Why are you so shaken, then?"

Haruna gave her a haunted look and weakly said. "Those things... the damn Heartless, they're fucking running wild all over Mahora, they even ran the girls out of the dorms! It's like an evil comket with no cute almost-naked cosplayers! And... and..."

"I'm sorry your room and all the erotic perfidation drawering material there were destroyed by those beasts, then," Haruka offered, sounded half-honestly sympathetic and half-cruelly happy. "But Mahora shall rise back, stronger than ever, our souls are that brave, of that I have no—"

Haruna held a hand up to stop the Vice President's incoming hot blooded shounen hero speech. "Thank you, that was a really bad blow, yeah, but that's not why I'm... like this."

"Oh, come on, Miyazaki-san and Ayase-san surely will be okay, you said it yourself before, they are far more capa-able than they—"

"Please listen to me!" Haruna hissed. "This is about Konoka-chan!"

Haruka blinked. "What does Konoe-san have to do with this?"

"Ku told me, Yue and Nodoka told her, before they split ways..." the mangaka sighed heavily, "they saw that albino girl from Kyoto, the water and ice mage, commanding the Heartless, and, worse of all... looks like she froze the Headmaster alive."

Haruka took a hand to her own mouth, blue eyes widening. "Oh! Y-Yes, I can see why that poses a problem with Konoe-san, now..."

"Listen," Haruna tightly grabbed Haruka by a sleeve, holding her in place as Ku Fei peeked out of the room and muttered something about having some food, being completely ignored by the Haru duo, "not a single word of this to Konoka-chan until we've figured out how to break the news, okay? You have no tact whatsoever, and I'll admit that's not my field of expertise either..."

Haruka scowled. "What are you saying? I'm a social swan, capa-able of giving the worstest news to anyone maginificently! My father entrustated me with telling Aunt Kimiko she had only a week to live! Even if she died the next day instead. I wonder why, and why she died saying such awful things about me, when I only did her a favor..."

Haruna breathed out harshly. "No, Sempai, and I mean it! Let's, uh, let's consult with Setsuna-san first, she's the husband after all, and if anyone's got a right to know, that's—"

"Konoka, hello again, aru!" Ku said carelessly, walking past them eating an apple and waving while Haruka and Haruna nearly jumped out of their skins. "Why looking so happy, aruyo?"

"Oh hey, guys, you finished with the session already? That's great!" an obliviously merry Konoka waved back as she approached the three, having completely missed the tail end of the Harus' conversation, much to their shared sighing relief. "I hope everything's cleared up by now and we can leave this guessing game nonsense behind? Because we've got to go greet Asuna and Negi-kun! Asuna and Negi-kun are back, they'll be so glad to see you!"

Haruna sighed again and put two fingers on her own forehead. "I really wish Nodoka were here. If she made a Pactio like Psycho Purple-chan's, it'd be a great help with this…"

"Uh?" Konoka blinked. "Why would you say that, Paru-chan?"

Paru forced a shaky smile and waved a hand. "N-Nothing, don't you worry about that now, Kono-chan! So, let's just go meet the new Ministra Negi-kun brought with him, okay?"

Haruka glared at her. "Don't even joke about that!"

"I'm not joking," Haruna replied. "I'm fully serious and willing to back it up. Wanna bet?"

Haruka opened her mouth angrily, began saying an irate, "What do you have left here to bet anyw—!" and then murmured a sour, "I wouldn't acceptionate that bet anyway."

Konoka giggled. "My my, by now we know Negi-kun all too well, don't we?"

As they walked, Ku frowned as something felt strange. She patted at her hips, blushed crimson and glared at Haruna. "Paru! Give panties back, aru!"

* * *

"Nah, I think they're just being paranoid," Misora shrugged over the few snacks they were sharing at the house's dining area. Rations were still relatively scarce and they had to be consumed quickly before Saber could find them. "The Lord works in mysterious ways, but I still trust Him enough to guess he wouldn't throw us that bad a curveball after all we've gone through."

"Trust her," Cocone quietly told Aerith and Cid, "if she isn't freaking out in fear, then she's really sure about it..."

"Quiet, youuuuu," Misora said, reaching over to pinch and tug on one of the cheeks of the small girl sitting by her side. "Anyway, it doesn't even make sense to send someone to infiltrate us! If those aliens had spaceships that powerful, and they knew we were here, they could've just bombarded us from above and saved themselves the trouble! Right?"

"I guess you're right, yeah," Cid pondered, taking a sip from his stale beer jug and once again inwardly thanking any powers above none of the newcomers, except that Saber woman, had a taste for alcohol. Those were the only things from his provisions not currently menaced by all of the new mouths in town. "Still, one never can be too sure."

"It'll be all right," Misora waved a hand carelessly, then looked towards the cheer trio, sitting by Cocone's opposite side. "You tell them, Sakurako, what's your gut instinct when betting on them being the real deal or not?"

Sakurako beamed a huge cheeky grin and gave a thumbs up. "True-blue, tested and approved, gut-feeling-sanctioned, honest deal Real McCoys!" she chirped loudly.

 _Somewhere, Paula of the Beehive gang sneezed_.

Aerith and Cid, sitting opposite the students, traded short puzzled glances before Aerith said, "I'm sorry, but I'm not understanding this. Are you some sort of seer, Miss Sakurako?"

"She's lucky," Madoka summed up.

"Very lucky," Misa added.

Misora nodded. "Make a bet with her on anything, and the first thing that comes to her mind will give you the answer you need! That kind of lucky."

Aerith and Cid both gave Sakurako a silent, long, dubious stare, and then Aerith smiled and grabbed her hands. "Flash test! Please tell me right now, will I ever find Cloud and then—"

"No!" Sakurako quickly blurted out, and then blushed, slammed a hand on her own mouth, and went from cheerfully positive to horribly embarrassed in the blink of an eye.

Aerith, who still was holding her other hand, became a statue of white marble with a hideous anguished expression. Cid, the cheerleaders and the pseudo-nuns shared a collective wince of awkwardness.

"And that," Madoka eventually said uneasily, "is why they don't dare ask her on the subject of Negi-kun. They couldn't deal with it if she told them—"

"I refuse to believe that!" Aerith protested, letting go of Shiina's hand at last, her eyes turning into spirals. "I, I won't let the cold, sharp sword of defeat pierce through my chest! That, that's magic from another world, it couldn't possibly work in this one!"

"It's not magic, at least I don't think it is, it's just Sakurako's weirdness, but anyway, what does being from another world have to do with—" Misora began before being interrupted by somebody else's arrival.

Kaga Ai had just shyly peeked in. Aerith instinctively pulled back, calming herself down somewhat. "Hm, everyone? I, I'm so, so sorry about disturbing your emotional outbursts with this, but, but, Yukihiro-san thought you should know…"

"What happened, Sempai?" Misa frowned at her, tapping her fingers on the table.

Ai swallowed and then answered, "Karakuri-san got signals from the Gummi Ship's return, ma'am! It looks, it looks like Negi-sensei and the others are back!"

"Negi-kun!" Misa literally sprang up from her chair. "Oh, my Negi-kun's back, why hadn't you said that before!"

Cid, Aerith and Ai all stared at her as she bolted out past them, giddily giggling as she did so.

"See?" Madoka coolly asked her. "She just couldn't take the truth from Sakurako-chan's lips."

"Oh, I don't know," Sakurako said, slowly getting up herself while Misora raced after Misa, catching up to and going past Kakizaki almost immediately. "To be perfectly fair, while Negi-kun's love life is one of the few things I won't bet on one way or another, I'd say Misa's still got a chance."

Then she laughed. "Oh, who am I fooling, I'm sure Satomi-chan and I will get him! Because I'm just that lucky!"

"Okay, I've changed my mind," Cid said. "The weird girl with antennae and glasses isn't the creepiest of you guys after all..."

* * *

 _Mahora of Darkness:_

"Isn't it chasing us?!" Tatsumiya Mana shouted while driving the large truck across the Mahora wilderness, occasionally ramming through small trees and lines of thick thorny bushes, and splattering over every Heartless she could run over. She kept on going further Northward, deeper into the woods and away from the campus proper.

They passed through the outskirts of the detective school, slamming into several mushroom-shaped Heartless that seemed oddly placid and clipping an old, dilapidated sign that read 'Fun Farm of Milky Holmes'.

"Ah!" those riding in the back of the truck heard faintly. "Our eggplants! Come back here you vandals!"

"Sherry, look! The mushrooms dropped jelly!"

"Yay! We can finally eat this week!"

"They're... holding it back, it's not going after us, no," the still-hooded Mickey confirmed, grimly looking back at the now-distant temple through the binoculars the miko apprentice had lent him. Whenever a flying bat-type Heartless approached the back of the truck where he was perched, he would expertly swing his Keyblade at it and it would instantly be vanquished. Standing to either side of him, Misato and Hirano were greatly impressed, as his silly looking weapon was proving to be way more effective against the creatures than their bullets.

It would usually take two or three shots to down a Heartless, and even then, when they disappeared after being pierced, they would vanish in a subtler, less flashy way than the violent explosion of black specks that resulted when they were hit by the Keyblade. "What is the secret of that thing, anyway?" asked Misato while reloading her gun again.

"It was made specially to destroy the Darkness," the stranger said, taking a brief breather, his shoulders clearly tense and his tone concerned. "Only the Keyblade can destroy the Heartless permanently; every other way of killing them only guarantees they'll respawn somewhere else."

"What?!" asked the orange-haired, busty Tokiha Mai from the middle of the group of students, holding her sickly, wheezing younger brother against herself. "How can we stop those monsters from killing all of us eventually, then?! Do you have more of those for us?!"

Mickey sadly shook his head. "Sorry. Only a select few can wield a Keyblade. But once we drop you at a safe place, I can focus on finding this world's Keyhole, which keeps bringing the Heartless in, and once I seal it they should all be banished away. Please be patient."

"Easy for you to say when you have one of the blasted things," muttered the petite, pink haired delegate of Honnouji Academy who'd been sent days ago to coordinate Honnouji's participation in the Mahora Festival. Jakuzure Nonon had at first contemplated to stay behind at the temple too. After all, Mahora was her and Satsuki-sama's original alma mater, and for all of her apparent misanthropy towards most people, Nonon disliked seeing innocents suffer for no reason. However, even now, she had to stick to the plan, and the plan, and her orders, were to stay out of any conflict no matter what unless she was directly threatened or Satsuki-sama commanded otherwise.

She looked down at her cellphone again, dejectedly. Still no signal, no matter how many attempts she made. All lines with the world outside of Mahora were dead, and it made Nonon want to scream and kick everybody in the damn truck. Still, she was an elite soldier, and she had to behave with grace under the pressure. Once she could be alone with the weird guy she'd make well sure to get the info on what was the real deal with that weapon anyway.

Ayase Yue lightly but constantly nibbled on her fingernails, crossing her legs as she worried over and over about having to leave Nodoka behind. For the first time ever she was seriously regretting never getting a Pactio despite all of Haruna's prompting and teasing. Before this, she'd never felt uncomfortable tagging along in Nodoka's magical exploits armed with nothing but her library explorer training and a few books and office tools, but now she felt fully, shamefully even, useless and pathetic. She hid her face between her hands, flashed back to Nodoka begging her to leave, and said nothing, only trembling violently in place.

Sitting by her left on the truck's floor, Yotsuba Satsuki, who had gone through a similar scene of her own with Chao at the Chao Bao Zi, warmly placed a chubby arm around Yue's shoulders and whispered some words of comfort, while Kazumi, by Yue's right, tried to smile and patted the small Baka Black's head.

Boo-sensei sat by the oddly grim and scowling Taiga, his head tilting from one side to the other and back forth at regular intervals often followed by quick bursts of confused interjections no one really could or wanted to answer to. Takagi Saya, Suzushiro Haruka's pink haired, large breasted roommate and daughter of another influential right winger, rubbed her chin as she sat by, sunk in deep, complicated thoughts about the nature of this event and how to survive it.

Mio and Risa on tightly hugging each other, for once too shaken by the circumstances to bother fondling others or joking around.

That was the most serious sign this was the end of the world, really.

* * *

Chisame, Ayaka, Misora, Cocone, Konoka, Setsuna, Chachamaru, Satomi, Sakurako, Misa, Pluto, Lala, Rito, Keiichi and Makie waited before the just landed Gummi Ship, at the same site of its takeoff days ago, in a tense silence.

Finally, the cockpit's door was opened from the inside and out walked Asuna, smiling widely and holding her sword in a hand. But Konoka was just too happy to notice or care anything about swords at all.

"Asuna-chan!" the Konoe heiress ran to her friend, to tackle her into a crushing embrace, rubbing her cheek against hers. "It's so great to have you back! How did things go? Did you find something? Omigosh, is this Twilight Red-san's sword you got here? You finally got it again! Did you get to actually use it this time? And why did it reappear?"

"Heh, well, yeah, there's a sorta funny story behind that," Asuna chuckled awkwardly, then realized Chachamaru's presence. "Oh hey, Chacha's back! Hello, Chacha! Did Eva—?"

Chachamaru shook her head. "Regrettably, the Mistress still isn't acting like herself... or is acting too much like herself, I suppose it's a subject open to debate... and she exiled me out amongst you. Which doesn't mean I'm not extremely glad to see you again, Asuna-san."

Asuna nodded, then blinked as Konoka finally let her go, only to be hugged by Setsuna just as soon. "... whoa, Setsuna-san, this is... w-well, I'm happy to see you again too..."

Setsuna simply pulled herself apart from Asuna and nodded in silence, keeping her gaze low.

Then the Shinmeiryuu stepped aside, and Asuna found herself face to face with Ayaka. "Welcome," the blonde said.

"'Sup," Asuna answered.

"Did you have fun? Of the healthy and reasonable variety, I mean?"

"Other than the time I spent stuck in a monkey cage, yeah, I did," Asuna said. "You?"

Ayaka shrugged vaguely, refusing to take the easy bait. "I suppose you wouldn't have found it 'fun', but I have had... an intriguing time."

"I imagine you'll want to see Negi now."

"Naturally. But a responsible person like myself always will tackle duty before pleasure." And with that, she enveloped Asuna in a silent hug that was twice as strong as Konoka's, closing her eyes and supporting her chin on Asuna's shoulder.

Chisame angrily walked past them. "Why don't you get yourselves a room already?" before they could scream at her in unison, she screamed at the ship, "Hey, Negi! What's taking you so long in there? Don't be a coward and show us the girl already!"

"The girl?" Misa asked.

"Duh," Chisame gave her a jaded glare. "Kagurazaka's got her sword, and she's distracting us while he gathers the courage to step out and face us. That means really bad crap happened, as I predicted, and you know what that means in turn! You just _dare_ telling me I'm wrong, Kagurazaka."

"I'm not distracting anyone!" Kagurazaka said. "I'm just stalling!"

Ayaka broke the hug and sank her hands like talons into Asuna's shoulders, her voice going ghoulishly cold. _"What. Did. You. Let. Happen. To. Sensei?"_

"And where's Sku-chan, anyway?" Makie pouted.

"Don't call me 'Sku-chan'!" Skuld growled while walking out as well, closely followed by Gadget. "We were just too busy entering the landing data into the ship's log! That's highly important for future reference, you know!"

"Sku-chan!" Makie giggled, leaping over to hug her.

"Did you listen to anything of what I just said?!"

"Nope!" Makie happily said, rubbing her cheek up and down against Skuld's just like Konoka had done earlier to Asuna.

Keiichi smiled lightly and walked closer, patting Skuld's head with a hand. "Welcome home, Sku-chan..."

"Not you too!"

"Well," Gadget sighed while Pluto licked her face over and over, leaving it covered with dog drool, "at least someone is happy to see _me_..."

"That's it, Negi!" Chisame was telling the ship. "I'm giving you and the ermine ten seconds to be men and come out with the girl before I get in myself! I won't be mad unless you make me mad! Ten! Nine!"

Chamo's head peeked out. "Geez, Aneesan, that's no way to greet your Magister and teacher, anyone would say you're just plain jea—"

Chisame picked him up by the neck, lifted him effortlessly, then flung him back behind herself. "I meant **you** and the ermine, not the ermine alone, Negi! Eight! Seven!"

Chamo gasped as his fall was stopped by Matoi's hands catching him up in the air. "Ah! You were here!"

"Yes, always," the short haired girl nodded. All in all, she had more tolerance for the ermine elf than most other girls did. She could appreciate someone with as litle concern as herself for other people's personal space, after all. "It's just even the opening paragraph for this segment overlooked me. I sort of prefer it that way anyway..."

"Six! Five!" Chisame kept on counting...

And then, a completely embarrassed Negi emerged, taking a very pretty girl in a blue dress and white apron by the hand, making Misa gasp in horror and Ayaka to sink her claws on Asuna's shoulders even deeper, to the point the redhead actually yelped in pain.

The newcomer stared helplessly at the deflating and sighing Chisame before her, and then made a calculated, submissive curtsy. "Um... It's a pleasure to meet you, Miss... I, I am Alice Liddell, and..." She looked at Negi. "Is this the girl you kept mentioning all along the trip here?"

 **"WHAT?!"** an abruptly redfaced Chisame found herself screaming along Misa, Misora and Ayaka, while Sakurako, Satomi, Madoka, Rito and Konoka shared interested gazes.

"UWAAA!" Lala gushed, with huge pink hearts in her eyes and her hands clasped together before her chest. Even her tail had curved itself into a heart shape. "How cuuuuuute!"

Negi rasped. "Ah, no, actually, that'd be my sister Nekane, Miss Liddell. This, you'll see, this is Hasegawa Chisame, my first Ministra Magi..."

"Your... _first_?!" Alice gasped. "I thought you only had done it with Miss Asuna before me!"

 **"IINCHOU! THAT FREAKING HURTS!"** Asuna cried, trying to worm back and free from Ayaka's nails drilling into her flesh. But Ayaka was even past realizing Asuna was still there by then...

* * *

 _Mahora of Darkness:_

The hooded, shadowy figure who had spoken to Sextum shortly before appeared in a ripple of darkness behind another, identically clothed stranger who was smaller and slimmer. They stood on top of a small hill, overlooking the furious race of Mana's truck through the plains and woodlands. By this point, it was running along the river, careering towards the northern mountain range, which hosted the tallest and largest hills in all the Four Schools.

"About time you showed up," said the smaller stranger in an unmistakably feminine voice. Of course, this story being what it is and them still hooded and cloaked, it could just as likely be a small, thin, bishi man whose character is voiced by a woman. "I was about to get bored and send the Heartless after them for real. So, I take them from the front, and you do it from behind, right?"

"Leave them alone, that's what Number Eleven wants for now," the hooded man told her.

She tilted her obscured face back towards him, sputtering angrily. "What?! Don't give me that, that can't be right! Why?!"

"He says we shouldn't take risks against the King and the demon princess on our own," the man said, "but we know better than to think he'd care about us, right?"

"Then why—"

"I think," the man said slowly, keeping his eyes fixed on the moving vehicle, "he wants them to breach into the other world. If they do that, and he's done what I think he's done, then we can claim both worlds at once."

The woman sneered. "The ice witch isn't going to be happy, you know that, right?"

He repressed his strange newfound urge to tell her she of all people shouldn't be calling anyone that. Instead, he chose his next words carefully. "Then let's leave her for Number Eleven to deal with. We've been ordered to go protect the Keyhole instead. Averruncus is dealing with the defenders of this site, Number Six is dealing with CLAMP, Four is handling Ohtori successfully, and Five is holding his own at Honnouji. Everything's going as calculated. No point in worrying about chasing a truck with a few Heartless-to-be when we can be doing better things instead."

"Fine," she begrudgingly said, turning around to walk away from the path of the unsuspecting fugitives, "but when the rat comes to the hole, I want first dibs on him. I haven't done enough in this dump to be satisfied."

"Ladies first, that's what I always say," he nonchalantly said, stepping aside to let her walk before him. She answered with a subtle but noticeable sneer at him as she marched on without a single doubt, both of them then disappearing back into the shadows of the long lasting night.

* * *

 _Traverse Town:_

"Okay, it's confirmed, they're back safe and soundrous," Haruka dryly said as she re-entered the room, "Come along. Negi-sensei will want to see you."

"He no even aware we here yet, is he?" Ku Fei asked as she got up from her chair at the table where they had been made to sit under the watchful eyes of Saber, Shirou and Yuuna while the most of the others went to the site of the landing.

"Yeah, well, he's just returnated, we aren't going to tell him everything at once, are we?" Haruka grumbled, turning around and throwing her hands up as Saber, Emiya and Yuuna began escorting the newcomers along. "I'm sure he's just been under a lot of stress, so don't start crowding him or anything, you hear me?"

"That means you won't be all over his case over something that was my idea, dad," Yuuna told her father.

He clenched his teeth while fixing his tie. "Whatever gave you the impression I'd take my frustrations out on a child? If anything he's the biggest victim here. I warned Konoe-sensei he should have been made to teach kindergarten. Or possibly the detective school."

"Yeah, well, I doubt kindergarteners and detectives would have helped him much against Evangeline," Yuuna muttered.

 _"You fought Evangeline-san too?!"_ Akashi-sensei grew panicked.

"Nah, that was long before I joined," Yuuna replied, making him sigh in relief. "Back then he could only rely on Chisame-san, Hakase, Misora-chan and Kakizaki."

Wataru frowned. "He survived a confrontation with Dark Evangel with that kind of backup? Even if she wasn't taking him that seriously, I find that hard to believe..."

Yuuna shrugged. "Luck, maybe? Eva's kind of sweet on Negi-kun despite all of her protests, I wouldn't be shocked if she let him win."

"You mean he won?! He not only survived but _won?!_ " Wataru further gasped.

"Negi-bouzou tougher than he looks," Ku Fei observed. "He may no look much, but he no to take lightly either."

"That's right," Chizuru nodded. "From what Natsumi and I saw from his sparring duel with Chachamaru-san, he's an amazing martial artist for someone so young..."

"Listen, we can discuss this later, okay?" a frustrated Haruka said, reaching a door at the end of thar corridor and preparing herself to open it. "Here they are! Remember what I said! No accusationing him, no giving him bone-breaking hugs, no trying to attack him or molest him anything!"

"What gave you the impression I would try to attack him?" Caster asked.

"What gave you the impression I would try to accuse him?" Wataru said.

"What gave you the impession I would want to molest him?" Mikado asked, now at least wearing a set of decent lent clothes under the open coat.

"What gave you the impression I would want to anally perforate him?" Chizuru asked.

"What gave you impression I would start big fun test fight with him?" Ku asked.

Haruka stared at them coldly. "That you would feel the needcessity to ask only reinforcerates my suspicious," she said, before pushing the thick wooden door and ushering them in, Saber still breathing threateningly almost on the back of Caster's neck. Caster was really starting to get turned on by it.

The large table was overcrowded, with the whole of Ala Alba in attendance, along with Aerith, Cid, some small anthropomorphic female mouse in blue coveralls, and a terrified looking blond girl in Alice in Wonderland cosplay. Even Pluto was there, sitting at Makie's feet and wagging his tail at everyone, pink tongue lolled out.

"What are you talking about, Iinchou-san," a confused Negi was asking Ayaka, "why should I be warned against getting scared, I'm back with you now, aren't I? Here's perfectly safe, and I'm not the child I used to be, I don't get scared that easily anym— **AH!** " he gasped in dread as he saw Akashi-sensei standing at the doorstep of the meeting room now at the side of Yuuna, his glasses eerily blank and shiny.

"Why, hello, Negi-kun..." the teacher said in a slow, calculated, creepy tone. "I'm so glad to see you're okay, because we've got so much to talk about..."

"Daaaaad!" Yuuna complained. "You promised!"

"Ara ara, greetings, Negi-sensei!" Chizuru happily said, producing a large onion stalk out of somewhere. "I've been told you were far away, so why don't we give you, Asuna-san and Skuld-chan a preventive remedy just in case you caught something while there...?"

Negi, Asuna and Skuld shared a girlish shriek and all rushed for cover behind the stone-faced Chisame. "Truly a company of braves with no peer, yeah..." Hasegawa mumbled, shaking her head.

* * *

Still somewhat trembling and retaking his seat at the head of the table, Negi stood after drawing a deep breath in. "Is everybody here now?"

Matoi, who stood dutifully by his side, counted those present with the skill of someone well-used to stalking individuals and groups alike. She took a few quick notes on a sheet of paper and then nodded. "Indeed, Negi-sama."

"What about Tetch?" Negi asked.

"He's been locked up with Pete-san, and should be coming back to his senses shortly," Matoi reported. "By then we should have decided on how to best question him."

"Thank you, Tsunetsuki-san," Negi nodded, allowing Caster to learn the mysterious girl's name at last.

The name 'Tetch' brought Akashi-sensei memories of his and Yuuka's run-ins with American intelligence agencies who had asked them to gather data on famous criminal geniuses, as a way to repay favors done to the magical community. Given they had talked about locking that man, it was logical to assume he was the infamous 'Mad Hatter' of Gotham City, although the older teacher felt asking about him would only delay his answers to questions that pressed more urgently in his mind at the moment.

"Now," Negi addressed the assembly as a whole, "I'm sure we all have many, many questions to ask each other, myself included, so we will organize ourselves in an orderly manner, one by one. Starting with—"

Many hands raised at once. Two of them belonged to Caster, who asked, "Can I take these off at last, Professor?"

Negi looked curiously at her and her manacles, then asked Chisame, who sat at his other side opposite Matoi's, "Has she threatened you?"

"Everyone is dangerous until proven otherwise," Chisame said.

"It was Saber-san's idea," Madoka added, while Saber nodded stoically. "And, well, isn't this whole Masters and Servants thing supposed to be her jurisdiction, not yours, Negi-kun?"

"But she's the same Caster our counterparts told us had become an ally of theirs, isn't she?" he argued. "It's inhuman to keep a lady, Servant or not, restrained like that before she proves herself a threat!"

"Besides, it's not like she can't go ghost and free herself at any time she wants to anyway," Shirou again pointed out.

Negi nodded at him. "That's also entirely correct, Emiya-san..."

Caster put on her best Poor Good Misunderstood Woman face, turning the ladylike charm on. Chamo, Keiichi, Rito and Itoshiki all gained instant blushes. Cid only puffed cynically on his cigarette. Most of the girls only glared suspiciously. Shirou blinked cluelessly. "Why, thank you for understanding, Professor! I've been so harshly mistreated since I arrived here, lost and far from my second home! A home that might be gone, just like my first, forever at this point! Is it my fault I am a frequent victim of forces beyond my control?"

"Don't talk about our home as if it were a goner, it was our home long before you arrived! And stop raising bad end flags, damn it!" Yuuna protested.

"What a brutal, unforgiving place," the girl in Alice cosplay murmured to herself, clearly dismayed.

Asuna sighed, then walked over to Caster and easily cut the chain of her manacles with the tip of her sword, to which the Servant didn't even flinch. "The day the all of us would be threatened by a single obaa-san should be the day we retire. I mean, not even that old demon man was badass enough to take on all of us at once!"

Now, after that was said, Caster DID flinch. Repeatedly. "Obaa-san?!"

"Um, Kagurazaka-san," Satomi said. "You **do** remember the slideshow on the subject of Servants in Kyoto, don't you?"

Asuna blinked. "What does that have to do with— Nnnn," she scratched her scalp with a hand as she tried to remember. "Don't tell me, we already met Lancer-san and Monster-san, and Saber-san fought Rider-san, and this obviously isn't Brutalizer, so—"

"Berserker, you mean!" Haruka corrected, then jammed a finger a few times in Caster's direction. "Caster, Asuna-san! This is Caster!"

"Ah, yeah, that was going to be my next guess," Asuna lied.

"I also would like to know—" Caster began.

"Sorry," Negi said, "but I'm afraid you have just used your first question, Miss Caster. You will get another after everybody else is done."

"But, but there are around fifty other individuals in here!" Caster cried.

"I'm sorry, but that means there are other forty nine waiting for a chance of their own right now," Negi used her arguments against her.

"But, but I'm one of history's most prominent existences, a Legendary Spirit, I should get as many questions first as I wish!" Caster said. "Master, please, you are his superior, set him straight..."

Wataru sighed. "I'm sorry, Caster, but despite being his senior, technically we do hold the same rank and miserable salary, and this is _his_ false English Research Society and ring of naive girls and Saotome-san. Please be patient, I would like to ask a question of my own before that either way..."

"Ah, I'm so extremely sorry too, Sensei! But I believe, in fairness' sake, we should alternate between newcomers and Ala Alba members, so Makie-san will get the next question, lest her arm fall off, which would be terrible," Negi gracefully gestured towards the pink haired girl waving an arm around almost maniacally.

Wataru scowled very deeply. "You just want to stall answering to me as long as you can, don't you?"

"Now, Master," Caster said a bit pointedly, but so very primly. "You have just admitted his local superiority of rank on these ground, did you not?"

"Ah, thank you, Negi-kun!" Makie put the brakes on her runaway arm. "Who's the girl you and Sku-chan brought along? I mean, I know you said her name was Alice Little or something, but what's her deal, and why did you kiss her?"

 _"He did what?!"_ Akashi said, as Chizuru masterfully feigned a strangled gasp and most Ala Alba girls began seething quietly under their breaths, the facepalming Asuna, Madoka and Chisame being notorious exceptions.

In a complete silence, Rito turned to Keiichi, extended an open hand, and began collecting the yen bills the sighing Morisato was beginning to pull out of his wallet.

Ku Fei shook her head in faint disapproval. "Path of true martial arts clean from obstacles of distraction and lust, Negi-bouzou. Shame on you! Stick to life of celibacy until you strong enough to marry good honest girl after earning hand in combat, aru!"

"She's Alice in Wonderland," Skuld calmly answered.

"Well, I know what's she supposed to be dressed like, Madoka-mama used to tell me that story, but why is she dressed like that? Did Hatter-san brainwash her into…?" Makie asked.

"No, she _is_ Alice from the Wonderland story," Skuld said. "My theory is, this crossdimensional area we have reached vibrates through the fabric of reality in a frequency that sends pulses across the dimensional borders. Those pulses occasionally reach gifted minds who are influenced to a subconscious degree to craft stories about—"

"You're joking," Yuuna blandly said.

"No, I'm not!" Skuld said. "Sensei, Gadget-san and Asuna can vouch for it too! We saw everything; the Queen of Hearts and the King, the March Hare, the Caterpillar, the Dodo!"

"We didn't get to see the Three Bears, though," Asuna mused. "I wonder if the Queen had them killed…"

"Skuld-sama, please," Setsuna said. "It's obvious you fell into some sort of elaborate Wonderland-themed trap created by the Mad Hatter, and even your brilliant minds, and Asuna-san's, were fooled by it. Hakase-san should run you through a drug test…"

"Weren't we fighting Hercules a few nights ago?" asked Misa, making Chizuru raise an eyebrow and Akashi-sensei choke on his saliva. "By now even Alice in Wonderland would be believable."

"Yeah! Besides, what would the Mad Hatter be doing in outer space without the support of some extra-dimensional entities with an interest in the Alice story?!" Skuld protested.

"How would I know? What do I know about the supervillain mindset? I can't even understand my sister's! Maybe Brainiac or Gah Lak Tus took a fancy to him for some reason…" the bodyguard argued.

"Your… sister? I wasn't aware you had a sister, Setsuna-san!" Chizuru blinked.

"Please stop talking about my life as if it were some sort of storybook," Alice weakly moaned.

"Well," Makie said slowly, "I'm not sure I understand it too well, but if Sku-chan that's actually Alice from Wonderland, I'll believe her. We've seen weirder things, I'd say. Even so, why did she kiss Negi-kun?"

"Because she's a so-called 'Princess of Heart', who—" Skuld began.

"Princess of Heart?" asked the action figure on the table that had been mostly ignored by everybody until that point.

"Oh, a toy man with wings is talking now. Of course it would be," Alice blandly said. For the first time ever, Chisame felt some kind of spiritual affinity for that girl now.

"Oh, you're one of the magical toys Eva-san keeps in her cabin!" Misora recognized him. "Lunar Larry, right?"

"Buzz Lightyear!" the toy corrected her. "And, well, before your friends here retrieved me and brought me here, I happened to listen to a story Miss McDowell found in a book left in the store that sold us, long ago, to a traveler who passed through this town…"

Aerith grew interested. "So you were here once? Before this town was abandoned?"

"That's an affirmative, young lady," the spaceman nodded towards her. "Our world, much like it happened to yours later, was swallowed by darkness, and we ended up here, just like you did. But back then, Traverse Town hadn't fallen to decay either. It was a prosperous site of trade between worlds. Anyway, I was talking about the story Miss Eva found in that book. It told a tale of the origins of the darkness that destroys worlds, and how it originally was beaten and sealed by three wise men and seven kings. They used weapons shaped like giant keys to close the doors to the worlds of darkness, and they passed their powers to do so through the generations. But apparently, over time, those secrets and skills were mostly lost…"

All the eyes were firmly on him now, which actually made him feel rather well. So he stopped and smiled, enjoying the spotlight.

A few moments later, Cocone quietly asked, "… and..?"

"That's it," Buzz said.

"That's it?!" several of the others cried at once.

"That was rather anticlimactic," Mikado observed.

Buzz blinked. "W-Well… I'm not so good a storyteller, I'm afraid. Maybe if Miss Eva had brought the doll with recorded fairy tales… Oh! I forgot it, but the book also said it had been prophesied the seven kings would inherit their powers upon seven descendants of theirs, maidens with light in their hearts, who would help vanquish darkness again during a new hour of distress! Which reminds me of the seventh Star Command junior novel Andy used to love…"

"So this girl is not only Alice in Wonderland but also a princess?!" Misora pointed at the clearly uncomfortable Alice. "The original story never said that!"

"Didn't it?" Asuna asked.

"I… I think the time is due for someone else to make their questions," Negi hewed stiffly. "Mikado-sensei, for instance?" he smiled his best at the school nurse.

"Oh, thank you, Negi-sensei," the buxom woman graciously said, "but despite the bizarre nature of my current situation, for some reason I can't think of anything to ask you for now! So until I settle on a question, I'd like to give my turn to Akashi-sensei instead..."

Negi nervously looked at the quietly glowering man with glasses and sighed. "Sure thing, I owe you that much Sensei. Please ask for anything you'd like, although keep in mind, we also expect a few answers from you."

"You can say that again!" Yuuna nodded firmly. "For instance, how are you keeping that... that woman alive when you're no magus from one of those three weird families, or—!"

Caster let out a little aloof laugh, with a hand on her own mouth. "I'm sorry, but that should be the one question we can't answer in this meeting, as there are far too many minors present!"

Her Master seemed to immediately crumble under the weight of a world abruptly collapsing on him, while Yuuna blanched out grotesquely and her eyes overflowed with thick tears.

"... I don't get it," Negi confessed as Chisame facepalmed again and the cheerleaders and Haruna started heatedly whispering amongst themselves.

* * *

"There's actually only one thing I want to know from _you_ right now, Negi-sensei," Akashi-sensei told the boy evenly. "I understand why you're recruiting help for your purposes. I feel you are well aware those purposes are very dangerous to achieve, but you can't stop others from joining you anyway. Okay. I can comprehend that. I also deal with teenagers on a daily basis and I'm not ten. And I'm not going to blame you for Yuuna's own faults and reckless nature no matter what—"

"Gee, that's awfully nice of you, _you shameless player_ ," Yuuna coldly hissed.

"What I want to know is this," the older teacher said. "Once you have found your father, then what?"

Negi blinked. "Then what, as in—?"

"That's your endgame, isn't it?" his colleague questioned. "Once you have achieved it, there's no need for you to continue this magical paramilitary adventure of yours. What do you plan on doing with this organization you have assembled after that, Sensei?"

"Oh, that," Negi said, sounding almost relieved. "I thought you had meant something else. Well, I'll thank everyone, reward them to the best of my ability and disband the team, naturally."

"Eeeeehhhh?!" Haruna yelled. "You were going to decide on that all on your own, without even consulting us first?!"

Negi blinked. "Wasn't that always the tacit agreement? I mean, you have your own lives to lead, who would ever want to spend years following me when they could be doing something else they wanted to do?"

As Ayaka blanched and a large shadow fell on her face, Chizuru mouthed out a weak, "Oh my, you're even more oblivious than I'd imagined, Negi-sensei..."

"Oblivious to what?" he asked.

"I thought we were going to take over the world!" Haruna protested. "If we're talking about 'tacit agreements', you never shot the idea down whenever I brought it up, so I thought you were okay with it!"

"... I thought you were only joking?" Negi meekly said, his eyes becoming tiny. "As a former supervillain yourself, you of all people should have realized she meant it," Chisame said blandly.

"So Negi-bouzou think girls with sensei only because pity because you have no papa, aru?" Ku Fei asked him. Then she shook her head again. "Good martial artist need know, how to read people, aru. You fail at being martial artist, Negi-bouzou, aru."

"I do?!-?!" Negi gasped, horrified. "What, what does any of this have to do with any of THAT?!"

"Love is greatest battlefield ever, everyone know that, aru!" Ku held a pointer finger up. "Even often involving fists and kicks, too, aru!"

"Especially in Nerima, aru," Haruna agreed.

"That doesn't sound like love, that sounds like domestic violence!" Negi replied. "And again, I fail to see what—"

"I see," Akashi interrupted him, folding his arms and nodding sagely. He pointedly ignored the the piercing glare and 'seriously? Did you seriously just do that?' expression Yuuna was sending his way. "Very well. Someone else can ask, then. I have already learned what I needed to know."

Misa gave him a highly suspicious glance. "Are you sure you did, Sensei...?"

He nodded, trying to look serious and innocent. "Why do you doubt my word on the subject? Show me some respect, I'm a teacher as well after all..."

"And a womanizer who jumped all on his own into something he had no knowledge of because of the appeal of a pretty face and nice bod, then to have the gall to lecture others on taking risks while actually supported by a proper network of—" Yuuna started.

"Well, yes, but a teacher before that!" her father proudly said, chin up.

"Ahhhh, thank you, you have a rather cute face and elegant figure as well, Yuuna-chan!" Caster cooed, reaching up to pinch one of Yuuna's cheeks with a hand.

"Ahhhhh! Let me go, let me go, my flesh may fall off! Saber-san! Some help here, will you?!" Yuuna began panicking and backing away from her. "Dad, control your woman, I've heard of the thing Greeks do to kids my age!"

"So," Matoi said, completely unflappable, "who wants to ask something next?"

Alice raised a hand.

"It is the turn for a member of Ala Alba," Matoi summarily said.

"Well, she's got a Pactio with my brother now, so technically she's part of the team now!" Chamo argued.

"I haven't ever agreed to be a part of— Ohh, never mind!" Alice waved her hands. "I just want to ask, how many of you have... have done... happen to own... those things! Those 'provisional alliances'!"

Awkward looks abounded around the table, before Konoka smiled and pulled her card out, holding it up.

Alice hiccuped.

Ayaka held her card next, as proudly as she could, with Haruka and Haruna following her example a moment later. Yuuna held hers with a small shrug and smile, and Sora and Setsuna whimpered miserably as they held theirs, blushing just as fiercely as the other. Sakurako, Madoka and Misa intertwined their arms and showed their own cards off, with Sakurako's other arm forcing Satomi's into the same position. Misora lowered her head and displayed her card at the same time as Cocone, and Chachamaru, who had been silently standing behind Chisame, held the girl's arm and card up. "H-Hey, leggo, you idiot...!" the hacker protested.

Alice let out a strangled, choked scream. Asuna lazily held her own card and groaned to her, "Well, you already knew in MY case, right? So I want it to stand in record, if you suffer a heart attack here it's not my fault."

Alice ignored her and gagged while seeing Saber, Rito, Makie, and Keiichi hold their respective cards up as well. "Even you! But... _you are men_!"

"Oh, actually, Morisato-sempai's and mine are with Sku-chan!" Makie said, pulling a growling Skuld closer to her with her free arm. "And Rito-sempai's came from Lala-sempai, and Saber-chan's came from Emiya-sempai!"

"'Chan'?" Saber asked, all not too sure if she really liked the sound of that.

"Ah!" Alice breathed out. "Well, that's a lot better, I was thinking the Professor— No, that doesn't make it any better at all! _You're both girls!_ "

Sakurako frowned, then told Haruna, "Paru, you'd better take her under your wing."

Haruna blinked. "What? Are you... sure? Like, I mean, really really sure?"

"I agree with Saku-chan," Konoka said, just a bit coldly. "I think... she needs it!"

"And you, too!" Alice was telling Ai, who held her card to hide as much of her face as possible.

"A-A-Actually, m-m-mine's with Itoshiki-sensei..." the older girl stuttered from behind her card.

Alice blinked yet again, looked at the miserable looking man suitting next to Ai, and asked dubiously, "It's... only her?"

They both nodded reluctantly.

Alice straightened, thought it over, and then nodded and said soberly, "That is perfectly acceptable!"

"BUT I'M HER TEACHER!" Itoshiki wailed.

"Still perfectly acceptable as long as you take responsibility..." Alice replied. "You, on the other hand!" she huffed, turning around to face Negi, wagging a finger at him. "I know you're very young, but you're wise enough as to be a teacher, so I was expecting better from you! Sixteen girls now, for shame! Don't you have any self-control? You... You Casanova! You enemy of all women!"

Negi began sobbing, further puzzling Caster. What kind of womanizer later felt guilty about the fact? These were truly troubling and confusing times. "I know, and I'm sorry! There's no day I don't spend thinking about it, and how much I have sunk, dragging my students down with myself! It's my fault, for I've been weak in more than one sense!"

Then Misa stood up, walked to Alice, and placed her hands on her shoulders. "Alice-chan."

"Yes?"

"Look," Misa patiently said. "I understand how you must be feeling. Culture shock aside, all girls think the same deep down, just like all guys think the same deep down, and I mean down, like in between their—"

"Aaaaaaaactually, I think that's rather debatable..." Keiichi coughed into a fist.

"Shut up, Morisato-sempai," Misa primly told him, and then spoke again to Alice. "Oh, dear, my dear. I know you must be feeling disappointed and livid, for a boy you thought to be all so proper and different, capable and gentlemanish, to have been so... somewhat promiscuous."

"What does 'promiscuous' mean?" Negi asked Chisame.

"Even so," Misa gently told Alice, "we aren't his victims. We aren't anyone's victims, Alice-chan. Because we are strong women, each one in our own way, and we all knew what we were getting into when we agreed to this. Implying otherwise is, actually, quite insulting to all of us, so **please** don't ever do it again. Sure, it's fun to imagine, at times, when you're feeling frustrated, this is all Negi's fault, and to dream of chasing him around between all of us to punish his womanizing ways, but you know what? That's stupid and childish, and we're no children anymore. Well, except Makie-chan, but that's what makes her special..."

"Am I supposed to be flattered?" Makie asked, genuinely curious.

"Actually, chasing Negi-kun around like that... sounds kinda neat!" Haruna mused.

"Yeah, same here..." Yuuna hummed and Chizuru gave a vacant, pleasant lingering smile while Ku Fei grimaced in disgust.

"DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT!" Misa snapped at them. "And you, Negi-kun, don't ever apologize about any of that again, you hear me?! Show your spine! We know you have it, so don't hide it just because you feel guilty, or you'll end up like Despair-sensei!"

"That's quite true..." Itoshiki said.

Negi gulped. "Yes, Ma'am!"

Misa's hands were on his shoulders now. "We're in this because we chose to be in this!"

"Yes, Ma'am!"

"In a fair competition, for those who are interested! Cheering for us at the sidelines, for those who aren't!" Misa vigorously added.

"Yes, Ma'am!"

"Hey, I don't ship anyone but Konoka and Setsuna-san! Leave me out of that!" Asuna said.

"We are well aware of the risks! We're intelligent women, hear us roar!" Misa began getting carried away. "That's our courage, the proof of our worth! Even Misora's got it! And the man who stands with us has to be as courageous as we are!"

"Yes, Ma'am!" Negi's voice rang loud and clear now.

Misa let go of his shoulders and nodded, satisfied. "Now that's what I wanted to hear!"

Ayaka was awed. "Wow, Kakizaki-san! That was... surprisingly mature from you!"

"What?" Misa snorted. "I can do mature!"

"Yeah, but she wasn't talking about your previous flings, but about this speech of yours," Sakurako snickered. "You realize you're that confident just because you were brought in very early in the game, don't you? Had you learned about Negi-kun after everyone else, you'd be even more outraged than Alice-chan, and organizing a lynching party yourself..."

"There's no point on dwelling about the impossible, Saku!" her friend told her. "So, do you have any other question for now, Alice-chan?"

Alice, with her eyes very round and wide, just shook her head slowly, still trying to process what had just happened.

"Good!" Misa said and sat back. "I have no questions myself, so who's next?"

* * *

 _Mahora of Darkness:_

And now here they were descending into the Underworld.

"How Campbellian," Yue muttered as they walked into the mouth of the cave, mostly because it felt like the kind of thing Nodoka would say in such a situation, and she wanted to keep as much of Nodoka with herself as possible besides the used panties in her pocket.

Tatsumiya-san, despite being a 3-Aer, had been as good as her word, Kobushi Abiru decided as she made her way down the deep, long cavern alongside classmate and roommate Harumi. The tall, curvaceous, heavily bandaged 3-F student was well used to humid darkness and potent smells of underground passages, so she didn't mind advancing through the cave, but she knew most of those with her probably were never in the healthy and not decadent at all habit of venturing into animal dens and hideouts for precious tails to caress and tug and fondle and stroke and maybe kiss and lick and…!

The poor plebeians.

Abiru kept her eye, the one not covered by a patch of gauze, firmly set on Mickey-san's long, thin tail, unconsciously flexing her fingers in and out and breathing heavily, trying her best to control himself. Even if it was false, that tail coming out of his clothes was as tempting as that of Lala Deviluke-san, and only past experiences being foiled at every attempt to touch _that_ other tail (Lala-san didn't seem to like either Abiru or Harumi too much, despite her usually bubbly and sunny disposition. Maybe it was Saotome's influence, Abiru thought), made her wary of trying to touch this one as well.

"I can't see any light at the end of this," Asuka grouched as the group followed Mickey and Mana's lead into the cavern. If anything, their surroundings were only darkening more and more as they went on, not helped by how Mana had parked the vehicle at the opening. "Are you sure you aren't leading us into a trap?"

"If they were, do you think they'd be telling us?" Taiga snorted, her shinai at the ready and her feline eyes carefully darting from a side to the other in regular patterns. "Besides, at least there aren't any of those monsters in here. Let's give them a vote of trust while that lasts."

"Death Flag, Sensei!" Saya chided her. "Death Flag!"

"Don't be ridiculous," Taiga chided back. "Do you think this is a videogame or manga where what happens next is dictated by what you just said? If it worked that way, I'd only have to say 'we're all going to die here!' so we all could escape immediately into total safety! That's the kind of crap I expect from Katsuragi-kun, no offense, Misato-san."

"None taken," Misato said with a shrug. "My nephew's all sorts of messed up. Still a good kid though."

Mickey sighed. "Heartless. They're called Heartless, got it memorized?" he asked, oblivious to how he was making one of the hooded invaders sneeze right then somewhere far, far away. "Anyway, we're almost at the gate."

"What gate?" asked Tate, holding his bokken over his right shoulder and frowning.

"This was supposedly a small gate used by smugglers to bring things from this world to the World of Magic," Mana stoically explained. "It needed to operate below the awareness of authorities on both sides, and so it remained long hidden. Most of those in power who learned of its existence were bribed or blackmailed to ignore the issue, until Konoemon-sensei, during his youth, took the matter in his own hands and sealed it. I was hoping I could find a way to unlock it so you can escape safely, but—"

"World of Magic?" Asuka echoed with a grunt. "Okay, what have you been tossing to fuel those fires before you pray, Miko-san?"

"Believe it or not, there is a whole world ruled by the laws of magic and the supernatural and directly connected to ours," Yue lectured somberly.

"You're kidding!" Takagi said. "Next you'll be telling us that's where those aliens or lab-spawned freaks all came from, right?"

"It's not that hard to swallow," Momioka shrugged. "Mio-chan and I have met ghosts. I hope they're okay. What's the worst those things can do to them, kill them?"

"It was a shame we couldn't make our way to them and Kiri-chan," Mio said sorrowfully. "With any luck, they'll be rescued by somebody else...?"

"Ghosts, really!" Nonon acridly said.

"I believe it," Tokiha Mai very seriously said.

"Bw-Bwak backw buckawk. Kakawk!" Boo-sensei opined.

"Stop," Mickey came to a halt, gesturing with a gloved hand for the others to also come to a halt behind him, which they promptly did, several stumbling on each other. Since Rito wasn't present, they didn't collapse into a massive heap of piled-up bodies in compromising situations. He turned his head towards Mana and asked, "I assume this is the point? It feels like it is."

The tall student hummed, ran her fingers along a wall of the cave, then the other, lightly tasted her fingers, sniffed the air carefully, tapped a foot tentatively a few times, made a very short and silly little dance in place, pulled out a small pendulum, spun it above the rocky ground a few times, then pushed the lucky pendulum back into her Victoria's Secret Compartment. "It is," she confirmed.

"Good!" Mickey said, slamming his Keyblade down and striking the ground, A massive burst of white light came from the weapon, sending a glowing line deep into the abyss ahead, and the outline of a weary smile could be glimpsed within the cowl. "Alright! You can take it from here. It should work. I think!"

"Thank you," Mana nodded at him. "Please hurry and make sure Shiho's okay. Otherwise I'll have to hunt down and kill you. Nothing personal you understand..."

"You're leaving to... go back there?" Taiga asked Mickey. "You shouldn't do that, kid! Okay, you did fine against all those little critters, but... that giant thing is, well, so gigantic, and you're so little, and, and...!"

"Thank you, Ma'am," Mickey told her as he stopped nodding at Mana, "But I'll cope just fine. I'm not that easy to put down!" He laughed lightly, pulled his hood back to reveal a mouse's black head with large round ears, and then quickly ran his way back towards the entrance.

"...!" said the stunned and now bug-eyed Taiga, Risa, Mio, Hirano, Takagi, Rance, Asuka, Kyoko, Misato, Tate, Takumi, Nonon, Harumi and Tomoe Mami.

"Bwak bwak kuck-kaww kak buckaww," said a completely unfazed Boo-sensei.

"Yeah, I have to agree," Mana nodded, turning back around and gesturing for the others to follow her, which they did after a few moments of shared hesitation. "Come on, don't waste any more time! You'll have plenty of chances to see more like him where we're going."

"You know," Asuka mused, "I was feeling really bad about letting a little guy like that go confront that beast, but now I know he's a furry cosp— Wait, what did you just mean by that?!"

Nonon looked at Taiga. "And this is why you should have moved to teach at Honnouji instead. This is exactly the kind of insanity Satsuki-sama would never allow to transpire there!"

"I'll keep it in mind if we ever make it back," Fujimura promised as they marched on, most of them too baffled or, in cases like Nao's and Minagi Mikoto's, too wary and alert to say much else. For the next few minutes, nothing seemed to really be happening, at least not anything befitting the result of that show of lights from the giant mouse's magical prop.

Yue almost blinked and missed the point where she lifted up her foot in one world and set it down again in another. Still, there were clues. They'd been marching forward into darkness, and now the cave instead led towards a faint, flickering light. Very subtle spell!

"Well, about damn time, I say... Oh," Asuka said, her grumpy bitterness not helping but falling in the face of overwhelming awe.

Eventually, they had emerged into a world lit by torches. It was night in this part of Mundus Magicus at the moment, and they were coming out of the side of a hill, dominating a small valley below. And in the middle of said green valley there was a market of some sort.

All around the place under them, there were stalls where they could see vendors hawking a variety of goods from afar. The scent of torch smoke filled the air, making most of them wrinkle their nose a little. Somewhwere, a duet was singing about how that amazing Flim-Flam brothers had an amazing barberchair machine. Somewhere else, there was screaming followed by someone proclaiming people should follow the goddess Aqua. Other than that, they were too fascinated or afraid to make a single sound...

Until Mikoto's stomach growled loudly, and she rubbed it wantonly with the hand not holding her large black sword. "Mai," the small girl mumbled in complaint, closing her eyes. "We skipped dinner. Buy me dinner, Mai...!"

"Buckawk buwwakk!" Boo-sensei opined.

"What do you mean with 'no chicken no matter what'?" Taiga frowned at him. "This isn't a time to be picky!"

* * *

 _Traverse Town:_

"Other than someone else to smooch, what did you find in that 'Wonderland', Negi-kun?" Misora asked. "Any clues on your dad's whereabouts?"

"Only a possibility, Misora-san," Negi said. "The Cheshire Cat told me, in the next planet orbiting this system, I could find Philoctetes, the trainer of heroes, who might have trained my father in the past…"

"Wait, your dad trained in another planet? For real?" an incredulous Sakurako asked.

"With Philoctetes himself?" added Caster, far more dubiously.

"I don't know! At this point, I'm not discarding anything! I think I should check it out anyway! We even might find another Princess of the Heart there!" the boy replied.

"So you can kiss her too?" Haruka asked, deadpanning as much as her hot tempered nature would allow her to.

"Well," Chamo said, "it seems making a Pactio is the safest way we have to make sure someone's a Princess of the Heart or not. You'll see, when my Bro kissed Alice-chan, there was this huge glow of a holy light that never was in any other Pactio, except, well—"

The looks of Ala Alba instantly drifted toward Konoka, who put a hand on her cheek and giggled. "Oh, why are you looking at me like that? Surely, Skuld-chan, who knows so much about everything, would know if I were one of those Princesses!"

"Well, your lineage is told to be regal and come from Amaterasu, goddess of the sun, and I won't confirm or deny that," Skuld said. "Back in the days when epics across realms were common, a few of your ancestors might have ventured out of our dimension, and thus out of my jurisdiction, to have adventures like the fiasco Lunar Larry described. But if it went that way, even I have no way to know what they did during their time out of our territory. They might have been in the ranks of those great heroes. They might have not."

"Buzz Lightyear! Not Lunar Larry!" Buzz protested.

"Assuming all of that is true," Setsuna said, "both Ojou-sama and Liddell-sama should be kept under constant surveillance."

"You already keep Konoka under constant surveillance anyway!" Misa pointed out.

Buzz nodded. "Yeah. The story I heard warned, if the forces of evil ever captured the Princesses, they would have the power to cover the universe with darkness. Which reminds me of the classic Princess Mira Nova storyarc in my TV show, which—"

"There's something else that concerns me," Ayaka interrupted, her arms folded. "That name, Philoctetes, hails from the Greek mythology. After your visit to a world that mirrors Lewis Carroll's stories, it's somewhat reasonable assuming the next world might reflect the Greek myths. Especially since our own ranks happen to include a Norse goddess…"

"So you REALLY are a goddess!" Alice gasped at Skuld.

"That's what I tried telling you the whole time!" Skuld groaned, before telling the assembly, "In all truth, the Greek pantheon was supposed to have perished in our world long ago, except for Lord Hades and Lady Eris. And yes, I'm aware of the cynical connotations of Death and Discord outliving everything else. However, there's a possibility the Pantheon might keep on living in other worlds. Deities exist in a multiplanar state, which means there are different aspects of ourselves across several planes of existence." At that point, Negi, Cocone, Ayaka, Haruna, Konoka, Itoshiki, Lala, Satomi, Gadget and Cid all nodded, but everybody else just looked dumbfounded.

"Anyway!" Skuld continued. "Even assuming the Greek Pantheon keeps on living in the vicinity, it might be a bad idea if I venture there. Last time our Pantheons met, we didn't part ways in the best of terms. It began with Thor and Heracles, who kept on getting in stupid macho contests with each other…"

"So, if you step there, they could have us punted out?" Konoka asked.

"They are Greek gods," Skuld pointed, "they don't punt people, they…"

Those with a passing knowledge of the seedier parts of the myth Greeks fell into an awkward silence.

"… what?" Negi asked.

"Professor," Caster took over, "do you know of the myth of Prometheus?"

Negi nodded.

"Danae?"

Negi shook his head.

"Icarus?" Caster asked.

"Yeah, but I never got why the King had him and his father imprisoned…"

"Narcissus?" Caster asked next.

"Of course! Everyone knows the tale of Narcissus!"

"Ganymede?"

"He was Zeus' manservant, but I didn't know there was supposed to be a backstory about him…"

"Arachne?"

"Yes."

"Acteon?"

"No."

"Medusa?"

"Naturally!"

"Oedipus?"

"Who's that?"

"Do you have any idea about the true nature of the relationship between Lord Zeus and Lady Hera?" Caster demanded, growing louder.

"I'm realizing perhaps I know less about the Greeks than I thought, but they were husband and wife, weren't they?"

Caster sighed, rubbing two fingers against her forehead, in circles. "I see. Professor Negi was given a sexually sanitized version of Greek mythology. And all of you have failed as mentors and educators."

"There was indecent material in the Greek myths?!" Alice and Negi gasped at once, horrified.

The others stared at them. Alice and Negi shared a few confused glances between themselves, and then the boy asked the gathering, "Exactly how much I have missed?"

"Let me put it the only way I can without having Chisame-chan kill me," Haruna said, "you are a Cute Shoutaro Boy, and we are Bishoujo. No way we are stepping anywhere close to Olympus' shadow without being impregnated by a swan, and that includes you, Negi-kun."

"A swan?" a confused Negi repeated.

Haruna rasped, feeling several threatening glares on herself. "A swan, a rain of gold, a god posing as a loved one, you name it… Greek gods were, to put it simply, raunchy enough to make me look tame."

"Oh," Negi faintly said. "So, what you are trying to say is…"

Haruna nodded. "Even I think, and I believe I speak for all those who ever have thumbed through a book on myths present here, you shouldn't go there, Negi-kun."

Negi blanched.

* * *

 **To be Continued**.


	16. Building Blocks

Akamatsu Ken and Kodansha created and own _Mahou Sensei Negima!_

Warner Bros. created and owns _Animaniacs_.

Sunrise created and owns _Mai HiME_.

DC Comics owns _Superman_ , created by Jerry Siegel and Joe Shuster.

Mashima Hiro and Kodansha created and own _Fairy Tail_.

We make no money from writing or posting that. But we'd still like to be paid in reviews, so why aren't you reviewing, hmmmm? I mean, from here we move on to mostly all new content! Please start writing, people!

* * *

 **The Keys of the Kingdom HD 2.8 Final Chapter Prologue Turbo Hyper Champion Edition Gold**.

 **By OverMaster and Shadow Crystal Mage**.

* * *

 **Chapter Fourteen**.

* * *

 _Mahora of Darkness:_

After the King left, rushing back towards the now-burning Tatsumiya Shrine in the distance, a small, humanoid creature plopped down from the bottom of Mana's truck.

It was dark, bipedal, with glowing yellow dots for eyes, and moved like a stealthy, yet nervous predator, quickly making its way into the cave following the trail of Mana's refugees.

Soon, it reached the still-active point where the worlds met. Silent but still somehow expressing excitement and delight with brief full body shudders, the small creature passed over and through the broken barrier before it could regenerate.

For a moment, there was silence. Then a small, similarly vaguely humanoid thing crept through the air as if it had been sneaking after the previous thing. Unlike the previous, this thing was silvery, like it was wearing a jumpsuit, and moved like it had no bones, flopping, wiggling, and sometimes floting and corkscrewing in the air. If Kaede or any of the Magical Girls had been there, it would have been enough to get them shrieking about tentacled beasts.

It went to the same point as the previous thing, seemed to have a spastic seizure that _might_ have also been a dance of celebration or might have been because it hadn't been taking its medication, and followed after, crossing into the other world.

By now, Mana and the others had left the cavern's exit so long behind they couldn't notice its presence. They could have done something about it, had that been the case.

But alas, they wouldn't learn of what they had brought upon Mundus Magicus until it was too late.

An hour later, a dark, hulking Orphan crept into the cave.

A few minutes later, a Hollow that superficially resembled the girl who sat in seat number 1 in class 3-A entered the cave, looking for shelter from the Heartless.

Not long after that, a _thing_ that looked deranged, like some weird stop-motion animation thing intruding in a properly cell-animated world, crept into the cave.

Not long after that, a pasty, inhuman abomination who looked like they covered their skin in body glitter and carrying a book depicting two hands cupping an apple stepped within.

And the way to Mundus Magicus was still open.

* * *

 _Traverse Town:_

"What do you mean, I can't go?" Negi asked, appalled.

"You know perfectly well what we mean!" Chisame snapped at him.

"But, if you're worried it'll be dangerous, I'll just keep a low profile! I'll even go alone so it's easier for me to…"

"Damn it, you just don't get it, do you?!" Chisame said. "It's even worse if you go alone, because not only can you still not watch your back on your own, but you'll keep nosing into more dangerous crap without someone to hold your leash!"

"I don't need anyone to hold my leash, or any leashes at all, period!" Negi snapped back. "You always keep telling me to grow into a man, but at the same time treating me like a child! Or a pet!"

"Guys, I think Negi-kun's sorta got a point there," Yuuna intervened. "You keep sending those mixed signals to the poor guy…"

"Shut up, you were just saying it'd be fun to chase him around just because he kisses girls!" Chisame told her.

"Well, it would be, but that's got nothing to do with this!"

"Maybe I could bring Caster-san along, if you really believe I need a guide so much!" Negi argued. "She's bound to know the location better than anyone, right, Caster-san?"

Caster stared blankly at him. "What motivation would I have to help you in any way whatsoever, boy?" she asked.

"Besides," Yuuna fumed, looking away from her and her Dad, "going with her would be even more dangerous than going alone, I'm sure!"

"Anyway," Chisame told Negi, "Now you're part of an organization, an organization that was your idea, I might add, and when you joined that organization you agreed to respect its decisions! And I'm pretty sure right now, the majority of Ala Alba is with me and, God help me, Saotome in this!"

Most of Ala Alba began nodding in agreement then, except for Yuuna, who sat back looking strangely thoughtful and still looking away from her father, and Ayaka, who simply remained inwardly conflicted between her desire to please Negi and that to keep him as safe and sound as she could.

Chisame nodded, satisfied. "See? You've gotta respect that!"

"But that's so… petty from you all!" Negi argued. "It's MY father, and MY dream! I wouldn't be standing in the way of any of your dreams!"

"You stood in the way of my dream of world domination, Negi-kun!" Haruna reminded him.

"Shut up, Saotome, you're not helping! Sensei, you would do right that if you thought we'd be doing anything foolish, and you know it!" Chisame told him. "Anyway, you still have like a million other worlds out there to snoop in and get yourself in danger! Why do you have to trust the word of a well known troll from classic literature on this?!"

Negi pouted. "Well, he was right about Alice-san!" He looked through the gallery of assembled faces of his naysayers, but found them all unflinching, even Sora's.

"Regardless, we at least should wait until we get more confirmation on what's going on, Negi-kun," Konoka patiently said. "Can't you wait a little while we try to clear up what's in store for you there?"

"And how do you suppose we can do that if we don't go there?" Negi asked.

"By asking in the other worlds around, perhaps?" Sakurako asked. "You're sort of acting like a crybaby here, Negi-kun. You're supposed to be smart, you shouldn't rush ahead without looking first…"

"Well, what did you expect?" Satomi asked her. "His father has always been the most vulnerable spot of his process of logical reasoning, after all."

"I'm not rushing—You know what, never mind," he sighed, still visibly exasperated. "You're right, we'll discuss the particulars of this later. In the meanwhile, who else's got a question of their own?"

* * *

 _Mundus Magicus:_

"Welcome to the Goblin Market. Don't ask about the name, please," Mana said dryly while she guided her charges through the outskirts of the market, crossing the border between the wilds and civilization, such as it was.

She marched ahead of them all, her handguns now hidden in the folds of her robes and the wide pockets of her hakama pants. While the square-shaped indentations would easily be identified if one looked, Mana felt safe that no one would. Anyone looking at her hips was more likely to stare at her ass than at her pockets. "Okay, now listen carefully. Do everything I say and you should be all right. Don't try to strike up conversations with the locals, you won't understand each other. Don't touch or break anything or especially anyone. Don't stray from me. That should be simple enough to understand, but are there any questions?"

Tomoe Mami meekly raised a hand and asked in low, hushed tones, "Won't we be... too noticeable anyway? I mean, folks around here..." the short busty blonde glanced at a few locals who were quickly making their way past them, dressed like townspeople NPCs from a computer fantasy game. One of the tall men in that group had a furry tail sticking out of the back of his pants, too. "... they look so... different."

"Tourists," Mana said, while Harumi held Abiru's hand and scolded her before she could pull on the stranger's tail. "They'll just think we're tourists. They are uncommon around these parts, but not completely unheard of. The more unscrupulous merchants and Axis cultists here will see you as easy prey, however, so..."

A tall, gangly, bearded man with wild green eyes and smelling of rancid oil hastily approached the Mahora refugees, waving several large bags of strange looking cabbage and long, thick cucumbers covered on buzzing flies and shouting in a language almost none of them could understand. Mana opened her mouth to shoo him away, but Yue spoke first, speaking to him in a stilted variation of the same tongue.

The man gave Yue a perplexed glare, then beat feet and readily disappeared back into the crowd a couple of blocks away. Mana smiled, one of those hard, world weary smiles of hers. "I'm impressed. I knew you were a library rat, Ayase, but enough to know passable Latin?"

"I'm not sure it was that passable," Yue observed, vaguely scratching the back of her neck. "The Latin they speak here seems to be very degraded."

"Let's say changed or evolved rather than degraded," Mana shrugged. "Your delivery was far harsher and cruder than you must have intended, but it still did the job. I wouldn't be talking to any public officers if I were you, however."

"Wait, wait, Latin?!" Taiga said. "Are you saying you brought us to ITALY?!"

"ANCIENT Italy?!" Asuka added as her mother and her best friend, the freckled and pigtailed Horaki Hikari, tried in vain to hold her back and down. "All right, enough of that crap, exactly what are you—?!"

Mana put a finger on her own lips, silencing them. "I'll explain as best as I can as soon as we're in a private place. In the meanwhile, let's not raise any ruckus, okay? The last thing we want is attracting officers asking for our immigration papers."

"Immigration..." quietly mused the huge, musclebound and deeply tanned boy who'd been marching at the back of the group this whole time, silent and thoughtful ever since the temple, his eyes mostly hidden by thick, messy bangs of his hair.

Then something in his chest mewed softly.

Mana looked back at him.

With a meek gesture of his wide, strong shoulders, the young giant unbuttoned enough of his shirt to let them see the small litter of kittens he'd been carrying on himself the whole time. "Before heading for the shrine," he explained, "I couldn't leave the kitties on their own, so I went for them..."

While most of the others just blinked and stood confused, Mana nodded at him. "Karakuri-san will be glad to know that, Yasutora-sempai. Well, I'd like to know, is there someone else here well-versed in Latin?"

At that question, Boo-sensei simply strutted towards a stand of assorted foodstuffs and snacks, slammed his face on the counter to summon the turban-wearing salesman who was waving a mother customer and her child goodbye, and then asked him, "Bwak? Kawk kawk buwacck bucakkwwk! Bw-Bwarrk!"

The man's eyes went slightly wide, then he answered rapidly, polite but also slightly uncomfortable, gesturing with his hands towards his supplies on display.

Boo tilted his head towards a large piece of stuffed bread, filled to the brim with all sorts of slices of meat, vegetables and colorful sauces, slowly heating over an open fire. "Bwak-kawk! Bwak-bwak, cluck-kawwwk! Cluck-kawwk!"

The man nodded rapidly, finished heating the massive sandwich, and extended it, as an overstuffed, overflowing shish-kebab, to Boo. He in return extended an arm forward, waved his hand several times, and dropped his wristwatch, along with a few random unexplainable feathers, into the eager vendor's palm.

"..." the students and staffers said as Boo walked back to them, presented the slobbering, wet-eyed Mikoto with it, and then stood back as the small feral girl hungrily dug into the offered food, devouring it as if there was no tomorrow.

"... uh, thank you very much, Sensei, really..." Tokiha spoke for her roommate, sweating a single large drop.

"Bwak-kawk," Boo said with a magnanimous shrug of shoulders.

"Impressive handle on the language, as well," Mana commended him. "You've been here before, haven't you?"

"Bwak-kuck-kawk," Boo neither confirmed nor denied.

Mana hummed. "You never cease to intrigue me, I must admit. There's so much unexplained about you..."

Then one of the kittens Yasutora Sado held began hissing and squirming angrily, and the others followed suit almost as soon. That made him, and several others, to look at the source of this sudden feline fury, another small animal sitting on the edge of a sidewalk, waving its long, fluffy tail in slow circles. It was an incredibly adorable creature, no larger than a bunny, with big baby blue eyes and completely white, soft looking fur covering all of its body. Its ears were as long as a rabbit, but its tail looked more like an Angora cat's.

"Fou," this creature said then. "Fou fou fou. Fou!"

Risa snickered despite herself, with a fist on that hip. "Who's that P***mon?" she sing-sang, mimicking the jingle of a certain infamous anime-videogame commercial.

Mana was far from being as amused. "Nobody get close to that thing. I know all about the animals of this region, and there's nothing like this critter anywhere in this continent."

"Eh? On top of everything else, you're a zoologist now, too?" Misato asked.

"Fou! Fou fou fou fou! Fouuuuu!" the creature insisted, hopping down on the street and taking a few steps towards them.

Asuka threw her hands up. "For Pete's sake! What gives one way or another, it's just a stupid rodent, who cares? Come on, Tatsumiya-san, just take us to that place where you'll finally—"

"Buwak, buwak bucakwk," Boo told the animal.

"Fou fou fou, fou fou. Fou!" the animal said back.

"Bwwrk, cl-clucck, k-klawwwk, bwark?"

"Fou fou, fou fou. Fouuuu!"

Boo's neck snapped back to Mana, and he said, pointing towards the nearby tavern across the street the small critter was now happily skipping towards, "Bwak, bwak kuck-klawwwk! Bw-Bwaaaark!"

Mana frowned. "Are you... sure?"

"Bwak, bwak, cuck-claw," the teacher nodded solemnly.

Mana's frown grew rather deeper. "Okay... But I warn you, you'll have a lot to explaining to do after this is over, and I'd better like what I hear..."

"That's my line, Miko-girl!" Asuka protested as they began to follow the little animal, led by Mana and Boo. "Wait, are we really following a white rat-bunny-cat thing now, seriously?! Can this shit of a day get any worse than this?!"

"Death Flag...!" Saya warned her.

"Oh, weren't you warned you'd better drop that already?!" Asuka shot back.

"Soryu, who died and voted you hot-headed shounen hero lead?" an exasperated Takagi asked back.

Now at the back of the procession, Tate and Yue shared subdued weirded-out glances while walking.

"Seriously," the boy whispered, "why can no one ever notice he's a goddamn chicken? A giant chicken, man!"

Yue shrugged. "Who knows? Best to just roll with it. When I tried to file a case about it, I was charged with two months of therapy."

"Two? You were lucky, girl, I was given six! Then again, I suppose you didn't try to strip him in public to prove your point, like I did..."

* * *

 _Traverse Town:_

Chizuru raised a hand.

"Okay, we'll hear you out next then, Naba-san," Negi said, strained, "I'm sure you have plenty of things you need explanations for, but please keep in mind so do most of the others, so I beg you, choose a single starting question carefully before asking anything."

"Actually, I'm offering a suggestion rather than asking more questions," the large-breasted brunette said. "Instead of heading to... Greece, why don't you pay a visit to Yen Sid-sama?"

"Who?" Alice asked.

Gadget blinked a couple times. "You know of Master Yen Sid?!"

Chizuru nodded. "Yes, King Michael, I'm sorry, _Mickey_ , mentioned him before sending us here..."

"It was the King himself who sent you!" Gadget gasped. "How is he? Is he, well—"

"Oh, other than the fact we left him outnumbered and probably outgunned to fight a whole campus full of shadow demons and a gigantic beast, he was pretty okay when we last saw him," Chizuru casually said.

Gadget nodded. "That's the kind of odds the King favors, yes. Golly, what did he tell you about Yen Sid?"

"He told us to contact him and ask for his advice on how to handle the situation, now he couldn't find the Thousand Master," Akashi-sensei took over, to Chizuru's slight silent discomfort. "He said he had been the one to teach him of magic, and to give him his... Keyblade, if I'm not mistaken?"

"He was there specifically looking for my father, then?" Negi he sighed. "I doubt he'll have any more luck in such a short time than I've had in years..."

"Our endlessly optimistic leader speaks from his heart again," Chisame cut in.

"That's your own influence's fault," Asuna reminded her, "he was far more annoyingly naive and hopeful when he arrived."

"Don't fight, don't fight," Emiya grumbled. By now he really didn't sound like he meant it anymore.

Gadget hummed in deep thought, oblivious to the usual volleys of recriminations. Then she smiled. "Well, it's worth a shot! Normally, Yen Sid doesn't take kindly to visitors, but if we tell him the King sent us, he should be all right with it! They're very close!"

"Oh?" Makie asked. "You've ever seen that old guy, Gadget-chan?"

"How are you so sure he's old?" Haruna piped in. "He's some sort of wise master, those often are eternally young, like Eva-chan..."

"No, he's actually old. Very old," Gadget wagged a finger.

"Told ya so!" Makie told Paru triumphantly.

"I've never him myself, but Donald and Goofy have, and he's apparently some sort of hermit in a world called Symphony of Sorcery, not too far away in this very planetary system," Gadget elaborated. "Their Gummi Ship has the coordinates to reach that realm, so all we've got to do is follow them and there should be no further problems, unless we get shot down by more of those bloodthirsty murderous ravagers who shot down the King's Gummi ship..."

"We've found another optimist, but at least this one smiles while painting awful odds of hideous doom," Yuuna said.

"Those should be anomalies who snuck under the radar of Star Command, they keep a tight lid on most of this sector," Gadget waved that concern off. "True, it's better if they don't catch us either, since they often let bureaucracy and all that get in the way of things, but they've a strict policy against invading warrior races. As long as we steer clear of their way but close enough to avoid heading directly into Chitauri territory, there shouldn't be any unpleasantries on the way to Symphony of Sorcery."

"Excellent," Negi approved. "When are we leaving, then?"

"Eeeehhh!" Gadget said. "We've just arrived, what's your hurry? I mean, I understand all of existence is at risk, yes, but we won't help any if we just go around running ourselves ragged from one point to another. That's only bound to get ourselves killed! Why don't you take a rest, play some old-fashioned points-based minigames, grind your levels?"

"But, you said—" Negi started to protest.

"Tsk tsk tsk!" Gadget told him. "The ship could use some tuning up before attempting another flight, and even more importantly, you need some rest as well! As a matter of fact, I'd even argue for choosing an altogether different crew this time..."

"Let him go, or he'll just threaten to blow the darn thing up again," Asuna predicted.

Chizuru blinked. "Did he really—"

"I, I did not!" Negi shouted, then coughed uneasily. "I, I suppose I could take one day or two of rest before leaving again, but there's no way of knowing what could be happening anywhere else, Mahora included, in the meanwhile..."

"Point," Asuna said, "but we should trust Takahata-sensei, Mana, Nagase, that king and the others to hold things up at the academy, right? I mean, for all we know they've beaten those ugly things back by now. Takahata-sensei is just that good...!" she sighed lovingly.

"Yeah, and Grandpa's sure to lead the resistance and turn the tide back in no time!" Konoka grinned, as Setsuna nodded solemnly and Akashi-sensei, Chizuru, Ku, Haruna and Haruka did their best to not flinch visibly. "It's only a matter of us fixing things from our side and then finding our way back!"

"And I suppose if worse comes to worse, the Master of Berserker will kill all the Heartless, if only because unless they're dealt with she won't be able to find the Professor and Shirou to kill them," Saber said.

"Say what?" Wataru said.

"Long story," Negi and Shirou said.

"I suppose," Chisame conceded, "even in the worst case scenario, Superman-sama and the other superheroes will swoop down and settle things up. What could we be doing there that they couldn't, anyway?"

"Superheroes?" Alice dubiously asked.

"People with powers and abilities far beyond those of normal men and women, even mages, who protect our world, often while wearing tightly colorful underwear over their outlandish costumes," Haruna explained, reaching over to pat her head. "You'll like them! They are, like, the epitome of coolness, Alice-chan!"

"... I see..." Alice said in a very tiny and very scared voice.

"Haruna," Negi warned, annoyed enough as to drop the usual honorific for the moment, "please don't bully Miss Liddell."

"Who's bullying her?" Haruna frowned. "I'm only offering her useful explanations about the greatest, most curvaceous and chiseled wonders of our world!"

"You know you are saying it in a way that scares her, Haruna," Madoka coldly accused.

"Nonsense! Our Alice-chan isn't scared, are you, Alice-chan?" Haruna sweetly cooed, batting her eyelashes.

Alice hid behind Lala. "Please stay away from me," she told Haruna.

"Oh!" Paru blinked. "I haven't introduced you to my fiancee Lala Satalin Deviluke yet, have I?"

"Fianceee?! Satan?! Devil?!-?!" Alice screeched, violently backing away from Lala as well, and noticing the long tail finished in a spade coming out of the back of the friendly smiling pink haired young woman.

And then Alice fainted.

Negi glared at Haruna. "Bucket. Two hours. By the door."

"But," Haruna argued, "we aren't at the school anymore, and—"

"Two hours and a half," Negi corrected himself.

Haruna sighed, picked up the bucket full of water Rito was already handing her, walked outside, stood by the door, placed the bucket on the top of her head, and began patiently waiting for the deadline. "I'd like to stay for the record I'm only doing this because I get turned on by dominant men!" she shouted from there.

"You get turned on by Reader's Digest articles about healthy foods," Madoka said, rolling her eyes.

"Hey, health and fitness are sexy!"

* * *

 _Earth:_

Metropolis, The City of Tomorrow.

Arguably the peak achievement of human architecture so far, Metropolis was a sprawling urban utopia, at least on the surface. Shiny and glamorous like a diamond, the result of dozens of years spent building it up from just another large city in the American East Coast to a magnificent gem that had greatly surpassed New York itself in a surprisingly short time. Given how often supevillains tried to blow up New York, that wasn't hard.

Lex Luthor, standing before the largest window of his main Lex Corp tower, overlooked his crowning achievement, his almost perfect Metropolis, with unrestrained pride, a smile sculpted on his lips and a possessive glint in his sharp green eyes. Not many men could say they owned a city (women were another matter), and in the whole of the United States, only Bruce Wayne could say he came close to it. Even so, it had taken several major urban crises and the abandonment of Gotham by most other investors for Waynetech and its subsidiaries to acquire the parts of the city they didn't own already. Lex Corp, on the other hand, had bought or extorted (although that was such an ugly and unbecoming word!) most of Metropolis from its former unworthy owners while it was still a hot commodity, and then Luthor had made it even hotter.

Just like he'd done with the former Luthor Corp, after founder Lionel Luthor's regrettably early demise; once again, Lex Luthor had taken something that had been merely 'big' before and turned it into something 'great, grandiose, sublime' instead.

Even the city's sole seedy, impoverished area, the Suicide Slums around the docks, were part of Luthor's great vision, a necessary evil, since there can be no Paradise without a hell to contrast it against. Besides, it supplied him with cheap workers, both for his legal enterprises and those of a more… subversive nature. Currently, those working ants were in an uproar, gripped by fear, and Lex Luthor would let that fear fester and boil a little longer, until the time was ripe for him, the savior of the masses, to step forward and announce his plans for a compromise of peace between his poor, panicked sheep and the dark, mysterious forces from beyond threatening them!

Around the office, behind Luthor's back, the TV screens showing images from all around the world converged invariably on a single theme, that of the Four Schools Area Incident and its repercussions. It looked like the current leading theory of the media was someone in a Japanese school had developed some manner of living creatures to be weaponized for biological warfare and unleashed them on the public of four densely populated academic cities. To be honest, for once, it shocked Luthor something like that hadn't already happened before, anyway. One way or another, it would have to come to this eventually, so of course he'd prepared himself.

Preparations, after all, were always necessary when your life becomes a constant struggle against the most (physically, Luthor bitterly reminded himself) powerful 'man' on Earth. If nothing else, he had to thank the damned alien for spurring him on to becoming even bigger, smarter, more ruthless than ever before. There was, after all, some wisdom to the adage, 'a hero is defined by his villains', and Lex Luthor knew who was the hero and who the villain in that equation, oh yes, he did.

And speak of the devil…

There he went again, carelessly zooming above Luthor's perfectly ordained creation, heading towards the coastline and then speeding over the ocean like a living missile. Proclaiming himself master of all he surveyed through mere virtue of raw power. A false god to be worshiped through minimal effort, a gifted being, simply born lucky, moving across the sky with the greatest of ease. A red and blue projectile moving so fast he ended up looking like a purple blur. And yet, if he was so fast, why was he always arrive at any emergency site after the catastrophe had already started and caused massive damage? Was that not proof enough he held himself back until the odds seemed serious enough? In that, Luthor thought Superman was as underhanded as himself. Why should he feel any shame in exploiting a given situation to make himself look better, when the saintly alien did exactly that, as well?

But, just this once, he was okay with that. Superman's perennial tardiness to show up until the villain of the play had started his little comedy had given Kadabra just enough room as to show himself as he had been hired to.

Lex Luthor smirked, turning around on his heels and turning on the jumbo screens feeding him the live links to the key points of the Four Schools abroad.

He might not believe on magic as such, but that didn't mean he couldn't enjoy an exhibition of sleight-of-hand every now and then…

* * *

 _Traverse Town:_

"Is it always that difficult, to get him to sleep?" Saber asked as she, Emiya, Chisame and Matoi left the bedroom Negi shared with his usual two roommates and Chamo.

Chisame sighed while closing the door behind them. "Children are usually reluctant to go to sleep. Now imagine a child who has a ridiculous sense of responsibility, hard work, and self sacrifice on top of all that."

Saber only nodded as they walked away down the hall, mostly because the question, without pretending to, had hit too close to home. Back when she had been a squire, even when Sir Ector would go easy on her and tell her to rest already, she'd still insist on keeping working until the collapse from exhaustion.

She'd only really stopped when she started waking up as various furry woodland animals. Damned Merlin.

Fortunately they weren't alone in that, apparently, as she knew when they passed by the closed door of Asuna and Konoka's room.

"Hey, no, why me too?!" Asuna's voice was protesting. "It's still too early! It's not even evening yet! I'm not sleepy or tired at all!"

"Now, now, Asuna!" Konoka was chiding her. "You'll lie down and rest, or do I need to call Chizuru-san so she can give you a calming remedy...?"

"No, not that! Anything but that!"

"So you'll go to sleep?"

"Fine! But only if you read me 'Hamster Huey and the Gooey Kablooie'."

"Again?! Asuna, you're a middle-school senior!"

"I want 'Hamster Huey'!"

"Ugh, FINE! 'Hamster Huey and the Gooey Kablooie'. One fine day– "

"You're not doing the voices!"

"FINE!"

Saber smiled despite herself, folding her arms behind her back. Once a workaholic, always a workaholic. And speaking of that...

"Anyway, until the next operation, we should clear up a few matters on the home front, so to speak," she announced. "I may be unable to participate in the Grail War for now, short of killing Caster—"

"Please don't," Shirou grunted. "Really, what's the point anymore anyway?"

"— but I refuse to stand idle while there are so many issues to address in this forgotten place!" the Servant continued, sternly. "There are other inhabitants in this town, as Lady Aerith and Mister Cid have said. Yet they won't face each other because dread has filled their hearts, and hope has fled their souls! They need direction! They need to come together as compatriots, for that is what they, nay, we are now!"

Chisame frowned. "I don't like the way this is taking, at all..."

Saber stopped and slammed a fist on her other hand's palm. "It is time to stop stalling what needs to be done! My heart is restless, watching a village that reminds me so much of a childhood withering away! Something must be done!"

"Please don't—" Chisame began grumbling, rubbing herself on a temple.

* * *

"— she did it." Chisame finished grumbling, now standing, along with Matoi, Cid and Aerith, behind Saber, who had placed herself in the center of Traverse Town's main square next t the fountain, slamming the tip of her invisible blade on the brick cobbles, expertly positioning it between an existing crack so as not to mar the public infrastructure.

"People of Traverse!" the Servant shouted as loudly as she could, her voice that of a mighty, challenging lion, Shirou scratching his cheek by her side. "I know you are there, still hiding in your homes, even during daylight, such as it is! Scurrying out only when you think you are safe, always fearing the Darkness! But today is the day you begin being free! Today is the day we announce you are under our protection! We are slayers of evil! Fear not, and come forth! Few or many, no matter how much of you there really are, it is time for you to step into the light and start acting like fellow citizens to each other!"

A silence followed all over the seemingly dead surroundings right afterwards, broken only by the whistle of the wind and a passing tumbleweed passing before them.

"... this is useless..." Cid sighed.

Saber slammed the sword down again, undaunted. "I hereby announce my bid," she shouted, "to become the Mayor of this fair town! So bring forth your babies and your old ladies so they can be kissed! Bring forth your votes and your support for the candidate of the masses, for the masses! I am Saber! Servant of the Sword, but also Servant of the People!"

Chisame gasped, her jaw now askew. "You're running yourself for Mayor of this dump, seriously?!"

Saber shrugged. "I don't think there's anyone else in that position right now, is there? I'd rather be a King, but I understand the times, they have changed. The glorious days when supreme executive power derived from some noble aquatic ceremony rather than a farcical mandate from the easily gullible masses are long gone forever, alas..."

"Don't say that as if it's a bad thing!" Aerith hissed.

Then, much to Chisame's surprise, a few of the windows of the buildings surrounding the square began to come open from the inside. Wary, reddened eyes peeked out from the darkness inside. Fearful, confused whispers began to be heard vaguely from all directions. Saber puffed up her slight chest behind the shiny breastplate in pride. She still had it, after all!

"That is, citizens!" she cried out. "Mayor Saber is here for you, and shall now start heeding your long unfulfilled needs! Secretary Shirou, get thee notebook ready!"

"What notebook?! You never said anything about bringing a notebook!" Shirou gasped. He looked back at Chisame. "Hey, Hasegawa-san, can I borrow your e-pad for a while?"

"... no," Chisame flatly told him.

Saber was starting to wave her arms up making V signs with both hands, like a populist politician on a campaign, while slow but surely, more windows were opened...

* * *

 _Mundus Magicus:_

"Are... Are you sure we should even be walking in here?" Mami asked, swallowing and tightening the collar of her shirt as they followed the hopping white creature into the tavern. "I mean, most of us are underage...!"

"This place has its own rules. Just don't make eye contact with anyone and ignore them," Mana said in a low, stern tone, her cold eyes darting towards the bar, where a shifty looking burly man with oddly sharp ears, wearing a white undershirt that showed off his muscular, hairy arms, had stopped polishing a glass just enough as to throw a suspicious, hostile look their way.

Rance-sensei sneered to himself, petting his crow's head while walking past the much bigger, chuckling and snorting men, and occasional brutish woman, sitting at the tables spread rather erratically all over the tavern. He'd always hated uncouth, strong and imposing people, and being there actively disgusted him to such a degree he felt tempted to just cut loose with the fear gas bulbs he kept hidden in his suit. But...

Fuuka smiled and winked coquettishly to one of the drinkers whistling her and Fumika's way, as her twin only shuddered in fear and disgust and clung to her, seeming on the verge of crying. "Hey, come on, that loli was hot!" Fuuka whispered to her sister.

"She had horns and six arms!" her sister hissed back.

"Yup," Fuuka said. "One for each happy place!"

"Tits and cunts, nee-chan! Grow up! They're called tits and cunts!"

"So, um," Misato asked Mana, "what are we supposed to do here, ask for a table? This hardly looks like the most private place to discuss—"

"T-TOKIHA MAI-SAN!" a shrill, startled feminine voice gasped, surprising them all, especially Mai herself, and the group of weary travelers turned their gazes towards the source of the choked cry.

A thin, frail looking young blonde, of great beauty and large blue eyes, had just sprang up from one of the biggest tables at a corner of the watering hole pointing a long, slim finger directly at Mai, her gaze as wild as that of one who's just seen a ghost, or possibly met an really annoying president while holding a loaded handgun. The rest of the patrons, upon realizing who had been sharing the table with said girl, quickly pulled away as much as they could from the newcomers, trying to focus back on their drinks and poker games, a few of them nervously praying under their breaths. Yes, even the Axis cultists. Even they had recruiting standards, damn it!

Mai blinked a few times, slowly, and asked, "Kiryuu Nanami-san? Is that... really you? What are you doing here? Everyone thought you'd run away to Gotham to become a supervillain!"

"I knew it!" Kiryuu Nanami vehemently said as Rance raised an eyebrow, growing even more agitated. "You're like a bad penny, always showing up, no matter what, aren't you?! What are you scheming this time, and why have you returned to my life, all the way here to boot?!"

The much shorter, red-haired and pigtailed girl sitting by Nanami's left blinked, cocking her head aside. "So that's Tokiha Mai? Huh... Looks far less, well, unwholesome than you'd described her, Nanami-chan! Say, are you sure—"

"Ah! Kikukawa-sempai!" gasped Natsumi, recognizing a paling fellow freckled girl with messy brown short hair who sat by Kiryuu's other side, her glasses slowly sliding down her nose. "Look, look, isn't that the missing secretary of the Student Council? Kikukawa Yukino-sempai! You're here too! Everyone thought you'd run away to marry a Suzushiro-sempai impersonator!"

One of the others sharing the table with the three girls, a gorgeous, tall woman with long scarlet hair, donning a suit of armor covering all of her below her neck, gazed coldly at the stunned Mahora contingent. "Friends of yours, I assume, Yukino?" she asked in the same local language most of the students and teachers couldn't understand.

Kikukawa finally spoke, in the same tongue, with a hard knot in her throat. "I, I was never friends with any of them, but, but... I recognize Tatsumiya-san, our temple's keeper, and those are Fujimura-sensei, and Boo-sensei, and Rance-sensei, and—"

"Okay, young lady," Taiga frowned at Yukino, who was paling even more now if possible, "you've got a whole lot of explaining to do, are you aware of that? And stop talking in Latin in front of us when you know we can't speak it, that's just plain rude!"

Yukino whimpered pathetically and slumped down her chair.

The salmon haired young man with the thick yellow scarf at the table mumbled between large mouthfuls of his meal. "Eh, why are they coming in with a giant chicken?"

The black haired man around his age sitting by him scowled. "What giant chicken?"

"Buck-klawk?" Boo-sensei asked.

There was a long, poignant silence all over the scene.

"So," the woman in armor finally said, no less in control and commanding than before, locking unforgiving glares with Mana, "you're the tourists we're supposed to escort, then?"

* * *

 _Traverse Town:_

It was incredible, Shirou thought, how the arrival of the correct person in the middle of a hopeless situation could stir defeated hearts back into action, blow life back into the souls of the afraid and downtrodden, and inspire them into fighting back for their survival. He felt truly proud of Saber now, more than ever before, since fighting was one thing, but actually appealing to others to help them improve was the mark of a true hero...

... or so had Dad said once, actually. That time Shirou hadn't been paying much attention since the fighting and vanquishing of evil sounded much cooler and more fitting, but now he had to admit the old man had a point there, too.

He stood aside, along Aerith, Cid and Matoi, while Saber sat behind a table someone had dragged from the perpetually open and eternally empty tavern to one side of the square, Chisame grumbling behind her, typing on her e-pad. A long line of citizens, most of them smelly, sweaty and hungry, who had dared to come out of their hiding places attracted by the commanding sound of the Servant's voice had formed itself before the table.

Saber smiled at the next attendants to register in the Traverse Town Election Record. "Your names, please?" she politely asked them.

They were a young, lean couple, accompanied by a short, graying maid and two Dalmatians. The man answered formally, with all the poise of a gentleman, briefly taking his wooden pipe out of his mouth to address Saber in a British accented voice. "Mr. and Mrs. Dearly from London, how do you do. This lady is Nanny Cook, our housekeeper, and these are our pets, Pongo and Perdita..."

"Excuse me," Chisame paused in her electronic note-taking, "is she actually named 'Nanny Cook', or—?"

The middle aged Meido looked at her. "Is there something wrong about the name, or—?"

"No, no, nothing at all, please forgive Miss Chisame, she may be a bit of a namist at times," Saber reassured her cordially. "But she's still a good girl, really..."

"I'm not a namist, I'm simply asking for clarification whether that's a name or an affectionate title, miss 'literally-named-'Sword''," Chisame muttered under her breath.

"Be that as it may," Mr. Dearly said, clearly having seen better days for his emaciated frame but still keeping his composure, "we have been told you could keep us safe from the roaming shadow demons...?"

Saber nodded. "We indeed specialize in eradicating those Heartless, as they are called, to keep our fellow men and women of good safe and sound." She extended an old notebook someone else had also brought in, along with blue pencil, towards them. "Please sign your names and home address here so we can know where to patrol and keep your lives and belongings intact..."

"So, now we're running a protection racket?" Cid whispered to Matoi, leaning towards her.

Tsunetsuki huffed. "That's such a crude way of phrasing it! As if Chisame-sama would go along with something that... political!"

"Very well then, I feel obligated to ask," Saber said while the man and his wife signed their names on a yellowed page, "has your city, London, been destroyed by the Heartless as well?"

"It certainly has," the man nodded, greatly concerning Saber, "although we managed escape somehow, and ended up here... wherever 'here' is! However, along the way, we lost track of our pets' much beloved litter of puppies. Maybe you also could help us track them down, if it isn't that much of a bother...?"

Chisame sighed. "How many puppies are we talking about here...?"

"Ninety nine!" the young housewife said.

Chisame did a mild double take. "Ninety nine—?!" She gave both dogs a shocked glare. "Boy! You two have been busy!"

The female looked slightly embarrassed, while the male held his head proudly. Chisame resignedly wondered whether they could talk too.

The man sighed. "They aren't all Pongo and Perdita's, mind. Only fifteen of them..."

"Still rather impressive," Chisame opined. Pongo managed to look prouder.

"It was a single litter," the young lady said.

"My sympathies to the poor mother then," Chisame empathized. "Has she ever walked right afterwards?"

"Yes, that's, that's not the point!" the man threw a hand up. "We used to have a farm of puppies, but—"

"How does that even work?" Cid asked. "What kind of business can be made from farming dogs?"

"Well," the man replied, "you'll see, I'm a songwriter, and—"

"What does writing songs have to do with farming dogs?" Matoi asked. Aerith facepalmed.

"Tsunetsuki-san!" Saber bopped a hand on the desk. "That'll be enough. Mr. and Mrs. Dearly, we'll do everything in our power to locate and bring back your puppies in the best of conditions, don't you worry about that. In the meanwhile, have a bag of soap bars, and remember to support democracy, or the absolute right of kings when democracy isn't available." she added, handing him a large and heavy brown bag.

Chisame blinked. "Where did you get all that soap?"

"Professor Negi gave them to me," Saber answered candidly. "He said he had no need of them, and so—"

"I knew I never should have trusted that stinking brat to bathe himself!" Chisame screeched, making the Dearlys, Nanny and even the dogs share weirded-out looks. "Wait, how are we supposed to find a bunch of random puppies across the worlds after they were, at best, scattered all over the unive—"

"We find a way, that's what heroes and devoted rulers do for their people and their adorable dogs," Saber matter-of-factly stated, gently gesturing for the Dearlys to step aside so the next family in the line could step forth. "Very well, who's next— Oh."

Before them now stood a rooster, as tall as a relatively short man, in brown pants, a flannel shirt, and a tan tie, carrying on his shoulders a small white chicken with glasses, khaki shorts and a striped shirt. "Um, good afternoon," the rooster man awkwardly said, trying his best to ignore the longing looks the dogs and even the starving Dearlys were giving them. "My name's Buck Cluck and this is my son, Chicken Little—"

"Buck Cluck and Chicken Little?!" Chisame gasped aloud. "What kind of—"

Saber sighed heavily. "Please forgive Miss Chisame, she may be a bit of a namist at times. But she's still a good girl, really..."

"I, I was just trying to make sure I was getting the names right!" Hasegawa protested. "And whether they were in Western order or not!"

"Hey, Chisame-sama!" Matoi called out. "Doesn't he... remind you a bit of one of our teachers?"

"What?" Chisame grunted. "That's the dumbest thing I've ever..." Then she paused, squinted at Buck Cluck's increasingly restlessness face, hummed, and ended up nodding. "You know what, never mind, you're right! He's almost eerily like Mitsuru-sensei!"

"Oh!" Matoi gushed. "I just _knew_ you'd realize it too, Chisame-sama!"

* * *

Somewhere well beyond the worlds lined up around the border between Negi's native universe and that where the Heartless had spawned forth, there was a planet that had fallen to darkness, but had not been completely swallowed by it yet. This was because of a conscious decision by that world's current ruler, Maleficent, the Dark Fairy (not to be confused with the Dark Rider, the Dark Angel, the Dark Knight, the Dark Hero, the Dark One, the Dark Queen, the Dark King, the Dark Lord, the Darkwing Duck and Lara Croft).

The world was called Hollow Bastion, a realm populated both by the twisted, misshapen forms of the Heartless, the howling, hungry spirits of the dead and the people who put too many zippers on clothes. It was a horrible place, fallen from its former glory and yet still gifted with an imposing, larger than life majesty.

Within the biggest and darkest castle in that whole world, in one of its spiraling towers that speared into skies that were as black as tar like a huge phallic symbol metaphorically fucking the sky, Maleficent stood by a window silently overlooking her new domain and thinking back to better times. Just remembering them burned through her like the touch of hot metal, since a corrupted soul cannot bear the contact of light remembrances and the realization of lost innocence, and it was too early in the day to fap.

Yet, she had resolved to master Darkness instead of being consumed by it like the rest of her council of fools. And if she wanted to achieve that control, for that person's sake, she had to exert discipline over every aspect of her own being, including coping with the memories of what once was and might never be again.

Only then could she—

The flapping of her pet crow's wings on her right shoulder alerted her as well as his cawing before she herself noticed the arrival of both of the darkly divine allies in her chambers. Unlike the others, who had to be called forth through the green candles (bought at a discount from Rita before she had her final disgrace as a force of evil), these two were higher beings and could move around pretty much whenever and wherever they wanted to. They were the most dangerous by far.

Other than herself, of course, she thought with a malevolent smirk.

"Oh hey there, Mal, sorry we dropped by without an invite, but we happened to be around the neighborhood," Hades chuckled raspily, gesturing at her with the hand that wasn't holding his burning cigar, despite the fact she had not turned around to greet them yet. "We thought you'd be interested in hearing. That kid, well, he's just found the first Princess of Heart. A little cat told us so."

"How interesting," Maleficent purred darkly, caressing her walking staff.

"Interesting is not the word I would use," Loki cautioned, moving around the dark red carpet with the grace of a snake poised to attack. "Interesting would be if we had retrieved that Princess before they did. Unless you have changed your mind on the subject? As I recall, you were the most interested in stressing those tarts as an important part of the plan. So why so calm, now?"

Maleficent sneered elegantly. "Let them gather the Princesses. It saves us the work of doing so ourselves. We know where they are posted, we can strike at them at any time we want to. But, why to do so now?"

Hades rubbed his chin, grinning as he pondered her. Like himself, and even Loki to some degree, Maleficent was a victim of corruption through the long and grueling streams of time, and he thought he recognized certain familiar patterns in her train of thought. "Maybe," he still said, feeling compelled to ask all the same, "because there's a risk they'll become strong enough as to keep the girls all for themselves once they get their hands on them? I don't want to think you've grown that arrogant, Mal, I'd hate to see that happen to someone like you..."

"It's hardly arrogance, only practicality," Maleficent exposed, calmly gesturing around with both hands. "We have all been tainted by the touch of Darkness, we cannot feel the Light. So we hardly can locate the Princesses ourselves. Oh, we can formulate educated guesses, strike at the most likely points. But every failed attempt further shows our hand to Yen Sid, Merlin and their kind. We run the danger of revealing ourselves too soon."

"So," Loki hummed, "should we let our lessers believe they are running the show in the meantime?"

Maleficent nodded. "If any of them succeed, they'll take the pieces to our hands. If they would fail, the Princesses will still be retrieved, this time by the son of the Thousand Master, and we will still know where to find them. Hook, Ursula, Jafar and the others are all expendable pawns. Only the princesses count."

"Especially one of them," Hades chuckled poisonously, "doesn't she?"

Now Maleficent did turn back, staring daggers of ice at the god of the dead. "Do remember," she warned him, "you deal with one for whom even death holds no meaning as long as evil is ever remembered."

"Don't give me that, Mal," Hades' grin hardened, the flames in his hair growing fiercer. "Evil has existed long before you were born. Anyway, it makes you sound like a cheap Kamen Rider villain. Besides, word is you're going back to those days when you weren't exactly—"

Loki rolled his eyes. "Get a room, won't you? There should be plenty of them in this castle, even though most of them must be stuffed with corpses. But I suppose that only would excite you two, either way."

Hades grumbled, fixing back the collar of his robes and smoothing his flames back. "At least I haven't ever turned into a mare so a horse can have his way with me. It wasn't even a hottie like Celestia, you slut. Not that I'm judging, mind, but even my Big Bro would draw the line there... maybe."

"He's more of the dominant type, isn't he?" Maleficent mused.

Hades chuckled and half-raised his hands. "Oh, I wouldn't be so sure of that! I've heard stories you wouldn't believe— Oh, but that'll have to wait. Just look at the time," he said, producing a black hourglass decorated with little skulls out of his robes. "I've got business to attend on the home front, I'm afraid. Well then, let's give your idea a shot for the time being, Mal. But if we see the kids are becoming too much of a real threat, bam, I want that place burned down!"

Maleficent waved a hand. "How could they possibly become a threat? They are heroes. It is not as if they would become evil enough to slit the Princesses' throats just to keep them away from us. We'll have all the time in the words to retrieve them. Though burning does have its attractions. "

Loki smirked at Hades. "Are you sure your sweet niece would be okay with that?"

Hades shrugged. "Hey, hey, sometimes you've gotta place biz before relatives, that's something you learn soon in this line of work. Which reminds me, how are things going on between you and Goldilocks...?"

Loki lost his smirk, sneered angrily, and waved a hand, disappearing from the premises in a beam of green and yellow.

"Some temper," Hades shook his head, with a fist on his hip and sinking into a dark portal appearing under his feet.

Then he, too, was gone.

Maleficent stood alone with her crow and his thoughts, silent and contemplative, for a moment before grinding her teeth together. She gazed out into infinity beyond her chamber window.

"Aurora," she murmured. "I will find you. I will always find you."

Because evil _always_ finds a way.

Not love. Definitely not love.

* * *

 _Traverse Town:_

"Next!" Saber called after the two chickens finished signing. A dark-skinned, curvy young woman of ethnicity Saber wasn't familar with and not wearing very much stepped up to the table. Cid and Shirou unconsciously straightened, then slouched as if to hide something.

 **JIIIIII–** WACK!

"Ah! Thank you Chisame-sama! N-not that I was staring or anything! I was just wondering how her clothes were staying on!"

"Name?" Saber asked, kingly oblivious to the byplay behind her.

"Chel, from El Dorado," the woman said. "You're the new chief of this city?"

"It's more of a town, but yes, I am working towards that title," Saber said proudly. "What may I do for you, young maiden?"

The young woman knelt, being her face down and extending her arms in praise. "Oh great and mighty chief, I am not worthy to gaze upon you! However, this one has nowhere else to go and so throws herself upon your mercy!" Her butt went 'wiggle, wiggle' in a way that made Medea sneeze across town. Chisame facepalmed.

Saber took it in stride. "Arise, supplicant, and speak the boon thine wishest of me. If thou art worthy, thy wish shall be considered!"

Chisame doublefacepalmed.

The girl, who had obviously just been sucking up, seemed taken aback by the sudden formality. "Er, uh, would you happen to need a handmaiden? I have previous experience."

Saber leaned back and, to Aerith and Cid, obviously took on the air of someone trying to find a nice way to turn down a failed applicant. "I see. Do you happen to have a specialty?"

"I give great blowjobs, chief," the girl said. "And… other… things. All I ask is food. I would do _aaaannyyyyything_ , mighty chief."

Chisame looked behind at the still-long line, and specifically at the men, many of whom seemed single, who looked to be frantically calculating how much food they could part with, and the women, many of whom also single, eyeing Saber speculatively.

Before Saber could answer, there was a sudden rush of wind, causing the table to tremble, and suddenly Haruna was standing there, a bucket of water still balanced on her head. The path she'd run behind her abruptly caught fire the the sudden friction of something passing over it really fast. She put a hand on both of the girl's shoulder. "How badly do you want food?" Haruna said with a wide grin.

Chisame snapped her fingers and imperiously pointed at Haruna.

There was a screech as Matoi tore a lamp post out of the ground and swung it in a perfect arc at Haruna.

Chisame was impressed. The innocent bucket of water had been spared. "Nice shot, Tsunetsuki."

"Thank you, Chisame-sama."

"As the new mayor," Saber said seamlessly with all the poise of a seasoned politician, "it is my promise that no one will have to debase themselves to survive, and that all sexual predators will be swiftly dealt with."

Many of the men and some of the women in line tried to look innocent.

The girl blinked. "So, do I have a job or not?"

Saber stroked her chin thoughtfully. "How good are you at finding lost dogs?"

"Are you sure wouldn't rather have blowjobs, mighty chief?" the girl said

"Next!" Chisame called.

"Fine, I'll take it!"

And that was how Traverse Town's dogcatcher was hired.

* * *

 **To be Continued.**


	17. Symphony of Sorcery

A partial list of things we didn't create or own:

 _Mahou Sensei Negima!_ (Kodansha and Akamatsu Ken's studio).

 _Batman, The Flash_ and _Superman_ (DC Comics).

 _Fairy Tail_ (Kodansha and Mashima Hiro).

 _Fantasia_ (The Walt Disney Company).

 _To Love Ru_ (Shueisha, Hasemi Saki and Yabuki Kentaro).

 _Mai HiME_ (Sunrise Studios).

 _Fate/Stay Night_ and _Fate Grand Order_ (Type-Moon and Nasu Kinoko).

We don't make any money at all from this either. Woe is us!

* * *

 **The Keys of the Kingdom HD 2.8 Final Chapter Prologue Turbo Hyper Champion Edition Gold**.

 **By OverMaster and Shadow Crystal Mage**.

* * *

 **Chapter Fifteen**.

* * *

 _Traverse Town:_

When Negi woke up from strange dreams, he found he had not been transformed into a giant cockroach. Hakase sat on the edge of his bunk, her back to him, wearing a sleeveless black top and cargo shorts. She was humming sweetly to herself while working on something small object, slight sounds of mechanical pieces coming together and being rubbed and slid in place clearly audible under her strangely haunting, almost melancholic, voice.

It felt nice, in a way. Negi was reminded of the way Nekane would hum while doing her chores.

He sat up on the mattress, rubbing his eyes and looking around for a clock. Then he remembered this room, unlike Chisame's at Mahora, didn't have any clocks on the walls.

"Satomi-san?" he asked, sitting straighter. "Good morning, please could you tell me how long I've been sleeping?"

"Oh, good morning, Sensei," she calmly said without looking back, casually waving over her shoulder with a hand holding a small precision screwdriver. "Hm, I'd say around ten hours, more or less. You were obviously exhausted, so we let you sleep past the usual hour. You can still sleep more if you believe there is a necessity for it."

"Um, no, thank you, I've had enough for now," he said, moving towards the bunk's edge, holding his urge to use the toilet in. On his way, Satomi casually leaned aside as to place a quick peck on his cheek, and while he blinked and blushed, he made no attempt to pull away, despite his surprise. It was surely a completely sister gesture of affection, a natural result of their many many months living together in close proximity.

She smiled and laughed softly. "Sorry about that, it's just, well, we were all concerned about you. It was such a relief to see you back safe and sound."

"Thank you, I... I actually was concerned about how you were doing, the whole time," he confessed, hopping down to the floor and reaching for an overcoat hanging from a chair. He pulled it on himself as he asked, "By the way, while I slept, there were no more, I don't know...?"

She shook her head, gently placing the small device she had been creating on the mattress, where it made a few short bleeping sounds and moved from one side to side. "Nothing too remarkable, except for a burst of inspiration to create this prototype for a miniature security sensor. It works by reading nearby motion, like yours right now, and then emitting a signal... well, it's still just a prototype, and I don't have the best selection of materials to work with here, but..."

He nodded. "I'm sure it'll turn out wonderful, Satomi, as alwa– er, as it often is. Well, if you'll excuse me, now I'm going to..."

"Oh, and by the way," she added, missing on his momentary lapse into yobisute, probably his first time with her, "Saber-san has just thrown her hat into the ring of local politics, as I believe one would say on such an occasion..."

His hand already on the doorknob, Negi paused. He looked at her again. "Excuse me?"

"She," Satomi explained, "is running for Mayor of Traverse Town. She also asked me to ask you whether you'd be willing to vote for her," she added, pulling out her own e-notepad and pushing her glasses up, small bare feet swinging back and forth.

"I can't vote, I'm still a minor!"

"That doesn't matter, technically you aren't a Traverse-born registered citizen either. Besides, there are no laws here stating minors can't vote. Saber-san promised to review the issue as soon as she assumes office."

"..." Negi said. Then he began walking out. "I'm sorry, but right now I really need to go. We'll talk about this over breakfast, okay?"

Satomi nodded as she wrote her name down. "I'll register that as a tentative affirmative, then."

"Yes, fine," Negi said, stepping out of the room. The door closed behind him.

Only then did Satomi hesitantly raised a hand to her lips, grin widely and began pumping her fist up and down. "Hah! YES!"

* * *

 _Mahora of Darkness:_

Abra Kadabra was a nuisance at best. That's why he'd left him for last after clearing up the rest of the commercial district, but also the reason it'd been such a surprise hearing him here, in the middle of this whole chaos, apparently orchestrating part of it. For all of his bravado, he was almost as reluctant to kill as the rest of the Rogues who had split Central City between themselves after the Fantastic Four had left to live in New York. It wasn't that Superman didn't appreciate that, since they were almost nice throwbacks of times past (had it really been that long?) when superpowered criminals would rather rob banks and scare store patrons than massacre scores of innocents in playgrounds or write vampire romance novels about pedophile werewolves. Still, even if he wasn't truly behind the scenes now, a crime was always a crime, and in times of unrest like these, this particular brand of crime was far more dangerous than usual.

The man was making a show of himself like always, laughing as he stood at the middle of the brand new Mahora Lex Mall, waving his hand around and watching how the growing chaos unfolded around him. Flying snakes, winged monkeys, small harpies playing harps, freakish goblins riding unicycles while juggling big black round bombs, bouncing top hats, a flying carpet, a set of woman's bra, panties, garter and stockings walking around as if on an invisible woman, all flowed out from his surroundings, chasing the last few screaming customers, tourists, evangelists and mall employees away. With the flair of a ringmaster, the thin man with the curly mustache chewed the scenery with a gusto Clark might have found likable under other circumstances.

"So flee, witless mundanes, and spread the word! Flee, and tell the world the Age of Magic has begun! We're sick of hiding in the shadows, and we shall reclaim what is rightfully ours! A new tomorrow, today, through a show of pow—"

"Kadabra!" the flying man shouted, hovering down through one of the holes the alleged magician had blown through the mall's domed ceiling, floating in place now, his long red cape regally floating around him. "What is the meaning of this?"

"Ah, Superman," Kadabra smiled, and touched the tip of his own jaw with his wand, his creations quickly gathering around him, hissing and ready to strike, most of them surrounded by a strange dark aura. Superman didn't move yet, giving the last few fugitives enough time as to escape. "I thought you had superhearing as one of your powers. Or haven't I made myself sufficiently clear yet? I am—"

"You're no magician, Kadabra, and you know that," the Man of Steel told him, checking on the wand with his X-Ray vision and making sure it still was, indeed, as technological as ever. Apparently, he'd brought it at some future incarnation of Disneyland. "This is low even for you, but I don't think you're the oneprofiting from it. So who is it, then? Who's pulling your strings?"

The smaller man laughed. "There are no strings on me, Superman! Wielders of power such as mine obey none but ourselves. I'm only speaking for my people, that's all. I have a dream! As a fellow outsider, you should know how difficult it is—"

"Enough nonsense, Kadabra," Superman commanded, lowering himself slowly, fists ready. "I'm giving you the usual chance. Don't waste it this time."

Kadabra's wand tapped on his chin as he hummed, and he finally just said, "Darlings. Kill him."

The first time Superman ever faced Abra Kadabra, almost half a decade ago, the villain had also claimed to be an actual magician, but once he thought he had him trapped, the usual bout of boasting megalomania had hit him, and he'd confessed he was a time traveler from the 24th century, using his superior technology to fool the masses. He'd still flip back and forth on this depending on who he was ranting to at the time, but overall, everyone tended to find his future stories less implausible than those related to magic.

For instance, the creatures insanely swarming all over Superman right now. There was some slight layer of likely magic swirling around them, something Superman deduced from a quick comparison with prior encounters with sorcery, but they weren't actually powered by it. Had they been truly magical, they should be actually hurting him.

The flying snakes spat fire, and he smelled the ionization and heard subtle mechanisms as the anti-gravity educational children's toys opened their mouths and lit the contents of hidden butane canisters. Heat vision shot off the batteries, leaving them to fall to the ground, on fire.

Flying carpets tried to smother and squeeze him, actuator microcircuits making the cloth move, near-invisible nano-strings giving the illusion of flight. Arctic breath froze them, and a tug pulled the strings out of their mooring on the veiling, causing the flying carpet to crash down and shatter.

Remote-controlled toy unicycles with hologram projectors showed monkeys as anti-gravity circuits glued to home-made cartoonish bombs followed a programed pattern to look like juggling. He kicked the unicycles over, then after a quick x-ray vision check, pulled out the simple fuses.

The holograms, he just hit hard enough to make them pop. Underneath it all, he heard the virtual hologram game that was projecting them racking up points to his combos.

He really had to wonder why a lot of Kadabra's stuff where children's toys. Dangerously repurposed toys, but toys nonetheless. Should he send some letter to Daidouji Toys telling them how dangerous their toys could potentially be in the 24th century?

They were all minor irritants, but they slowed him down since he had to make sure some exotic power supply or dangerously modified toy or magic trick couldn't rebound on someone less bulletproof. Thanks to that, Kadabra had the opening he needed to run for the exit, his purpose now fulfilled, heading towards a back hall—

Or not, since a moment later, as he reached said hallway, a black metal bat hit him squarely in the face and brought him down with a broken nose.

"Giiiihhhhhh!" Kadabra whined in pain, taking both hands to his bleeding face, the wand rolling away from his fingers.

A black boot pressed down on the wand, crushing it under its thick sole, causing the little hobgoblins, monsters and miniature nightmares enveloping Superman disappear like they'd never been there in the first place as it's remote power-supply stopped feeding the holographic game system. "Chuuni," the Dark Knight standing over Kadabra's prone, twitching body growled.

"Iiiiihhhhh?" Kadabra whined, looking up at the black cowled giant through his gloved fingers.

"Delusional by now," the Batman diagnosed, grabbing him by the collar and pulling him up to snarl in his face. "You've been selling yourself as a mage so long you've actually started believing it, haven't you? You're pathetic. A real mage would deploy barriers around himself while facing an enemy, especially one as powerful as Superman. That is, of course, if real mages existed," he added, cuffs clicking around the stunned Kadabra's wrists before the Bat headbutted him into unconsciousness. "Escape that, Houdini."

Superman landed on his feet next to him as Batman dropped the villain in disgust. "That wasn't necessary, but thanks anyway. What are you doing here?"

"It's still sunny at Gotham, so I took the jet and left Robin and Batgirl minding the place," Batman said. "I figured out you'd need some help here, since you've always had a disadvantage when dealing with magic."

Superman sighed. "Thanks a million, then, but since when are you an expert on the supernatural, either?"

"Hnh. I'm still more experienced at dealing with it than you."

"I'm just saying," the Man of Tomorrow said, scanning the mall with his super senses in the event of more likely surprises, "why haven't we heard anything from Strange yet? This is supposed to be his jurisdiction."

"Maybe he's already worked his magic behind our backs, since I haven't ran into as many of those creatures since arriving as the reports had led me to expect. Now what?"

"I was hoping you'd have any ideas. You're the Idea Man, after all."

"I'd like to hear yours first. You have far better senses to scan the whole city with. And especially the school. Don't tell me you haven't tried it yet?"

"Actually," Superman replied, "the city itself is mostly cleared by now, those imps and goblins don't put that much of a fight, but I can't look or even fly into the Mahora Campus. There is a barrier set around it-"

"A magical barrier," Batman grimly growled. "Perfect, right what we needed when we can't find Strange and he keeps avoiding us... or simply can't contact us."

"Maybe we should continue this discussion elsewhere. I'm sure the police can take Kadabra from here. With any luck he'll give them some information on what's going on here, assuming he isn't just taking advantage of the chaos."

"Maybe we should take him away ourselves. He'll be more… communicative with me than with the police."

"No."

"We always can drop him at the headquarters later…"

"We'll figure it out some other way. But while I defer to your authority in Gotham, this isn't your city, so your rules don't apply here. You aren't torturing anyone for info as long as I can help it, Batman."

"Sorry. I had forgotten the rest of the world was yours," the Bat said, stepping back and beginning to meld into the shadows of the mall, since Kadabra had cut the energy while making his great entrance.

Superman frowned at where he'd been a moment before before flying into the darkness after him. They weren't done yet, and both men knew it. "Was that supposed to be a joke? Because I didn't think it's funny…"

* * *

Evangeline sat on her cabin's porch, looking into the distance with absent, almost dead green eyes. Chachazero, positively (or should that be negatively?) giddy and content to be fully active again, ran across the prairie that spread before her Master, gleefully chasing around the local wildlife swinging around her huge blade in villainous disregard of common sense regarding running around with huge blades.

Right now, the murderous doll was in hot pursuit of two little woodland creatures, compact and furry, partway between squirrels and beavers with no tails. Evangeline had no idea what they were, since she hadn't seen them even in Mundus Magicus, but frankly she did not care a squirrel or beaver's ass either way.

The book written by 'Ansem the Wise' rested by her side, open on the spot where the writings were interrupted by the absence of pages that had obviously been ripped away in a violent hurry a long time ago. That was mildly frustrating, not that Evangeline had any real urge to learn the rest and get out of there— right there she cared little about anything, much less returning to Mahora— but that in she fancied herself a seeker of truth and knowledge, as much of a researcher as Chao or Hakase in her own way, and admitting ignorance on a magical subject, even to herself, simply made her uncomfortable with herself. Plus, it interrupted her reading, which was very annoying.

She didn't remember wishing for a solution or answer to that, and yet when a moment later there was a dark ripple close to her and a tall, looming figure emerged from it, Evangeline's first thought was an annoyed 'Be careful with what you wish for' in her mind that almost sounded like it was being said by Chachamaru. Then she inwardly retorted she didn't need to be careful before anything or anyone, and she stood up to face this obnoxious intruder.

It was a woman, sickeningly pale and vaguely either green or gray– it was hard to tell in the light– and yet not devoid of a certain twisted appeal in her angular, sharp features. Her lips were as red as blood, and while she was far too skinny, she still cut an imposing silhouette in her dark robes. The large horns on her head were also a nice touch, Evangeline thought, although in her experience such accessories were often a sign of trying too hard at being a dark overlord. Then she realized the horns were actually growing out of the woman's head, and she felt mildly more forgiving. Sawing body parts off was always a royal bother, and when they were unwanted and still grew back, there was not much point in it anyway.

Chachazero had now paused in her chase, allowing the vermin to escape, and looked to the dark visitor and the crow perched on her shoulder with mesmerized fascination. "Ooooh!" she cooed. "I like her! Who is she?"

"Does that matter, other than to mark her grave?" Evangeline growled, her fingernails growing sharper and longer. "Tell me, foreigner, where do you want it? By the sea, or up a hill? I'm thinking of going on a trip now anyway."

"My, my, my," this woman said, with an elegant arch of a thin eyebrow. "Such manners. I expected better from the Dark Evangel, whose fame has crossed the barriers of the realms. Has some sort of bad meal upset your temper?" she mocked, looking down at Eva in a way that annoyed her even more.

"So you do know what you're facing. That only makes you even stupider than I thought," Eva sneered. "I don't think I'll even bother with a grave. I'll simply throw your remains to the jackals."

"Do we even have jackals around here?" Chachazero asked, her clacking steps coming closer, her blade leaning on her small shoulders, her head tilting from one side to the other and back again. "I'd like that. I haven't killed any jackals in such a long while! Aren't they an endangered species now? That only makes it sweeter."

"Shut up, Chachazero," Evangeline threatened, her eyes turning black with eerily golden pupils. This invader of her personal space knew her identity, somehow, and yet she didn't know hers. Again, that buzzing sensation of being ignorant of things she should know already was driving her crazy.

The woman looked at the book laying on the porch. "Interesting reading material. I approve, but I must tell you, it only gets better in the last few pages," she smiled cruelly, reaching into her robes and pulling out a small stack of yellowed pages she held for Evangeline to see.

"You have been in this world before," Evangeline deduced.

"Never personally," the woman admitted, "but I have known of its existence for a long time now. Recently I sent one of my men to comb it for some pests that were inconveniencing us, but he's failed to report since delivering them. Would you happen to know about him?"

Evangeline chuckled grisly. "If you mean a certain bloated cat, he fell to me as if he was nothing. Don't fear, though, your pet's not dead yet. Some children took him away to play with him."

"If he was foolish enough to be captured, then he is of no use to me," the woman shrugged, extending a long, bony but graceful hand to Evangeline, who only stared at it in suspicion. "I am Maleficent, Mistress of the Moors, Queen of the Dark Fairies. An honor, I am sure."

"For neither of us," Eva swatted the hand away. "Okay. I can see where this is going, so let's cut to the chase. You want me to join your side, whatever that side is, since you know of my power and fame. You will now start pandering to me, of how we both live through and by darkness. You will take offense to being rejected by your better and told you are not worth my time or effort, so next you will be threatening people I have no reason to care about. I will still tell you to get stuffed up the ass. There, I saved you a long, grueling useless negotiation. Now leave, you've upset me so much I'm not even in the mood to kill you anymore."

Maleficent threw her head back and cackled, making Chachazero grow starstruck and to gain dark hearts in her eyes. "I'm so fortunate...!" the doll mused aloud. "To think I'd ever witness such a glorious display of mutual contempt between two grandmasters of overblown melodramatic EVIL ham...!"

"I told you to shut up, damn you!" Eva barked, shaking a fist in her direction.

Maleficent rubbed a side of her perfidious smile. "Why would I go attack the rabble? I'm usually not the type to drop by without invitation, unless my hand is forced to. None of us should be wasting our time with idiotic children, and it is clear you agree on this. Otherwise, why would you not be there already?"

"Oooohhh, she got you there, Master..." Chachazero sang mischievously.

"I'll deal with your insolence later, Zero," Eva promised. "Yours will take precedence... 'Maleficent'. A pompous and vapid name if I've ever heard one! I cannot take one who goes by it, and employs hired help as pathetic as that cat, seriously at all."

"Master, don't be a namist!" Zero warned. "That's the kind of things evil should have standards about!"

Maleficent sneered at the smaller immortal. "You are restless, aren't you? You are out of your comfort zone, and that makes you aggressive... yet also curious, as you have not attempted to attack me yet."

"That," Eva grinned wickedly, throwing her hands ahead and beginning to form ice, "can be fixed with pleasure. _Lic Lac La Lac Lilac..."_

Maleficent thrust her staff before herself, deployed a large shield of shadow, and said, "I know of your greatest failures. I can help you put an end to them, in return for your assistance in retrieving a single item."

"I have no failures, woman," Eva hissed, trying to decide how to best kill her. "And I'm not going to start now, failing to dispose of you!"

"I know you have been looking for the Thousand Master, whose fame has spread as widely as yours."

"Oh, and I suppose now you'll help me to find him? How considerate of you!" Evangeline snorted. "Do I look like a pathetic loser with a Springfield complex to you?"

"Yup!" Chachazero chirped happily.

Evangeline stomped on the porch, causing a plank to pop up under the puppet and catapult her to the horizon.

"Looks like Team Evil's blasting off again…!" Chachamaru called as she faded to a little twinkle in the sky.

"I will admit I am ignorant of his exact location," Maleficent smoothly said. "My greatest enemy, the King of the Timeless Lands, went to look for him in your world, but failed to find him. However, I have a idea where he _could_ be. If I leave, I will never tell you."

Evangeline rolled her eyes. "Oh, you have an idea where he _could_ be. You and every idiot on two planets," Evangeline retorted while carefully studying the shield of darkness with her penetrating gaze, and finding it to be of an intriguing variety of magic she had not seen before... except for the Heartless themselves, but greatly intensified. "If you have nothing to offer but fangirl conspiracy theories—"

"I know of Karin's exact whereabouts, however," Maleficent added, all aplomb and confidence as Chachazero crashed back where she'd been standing before.

Evangeline paused despite herself.

"Karin?" Chachazero echoed, tilting her head to the side and causing her body to fall over. "Ah! What did I miss! Episode recap, episode recap!"

* * *

All Nodoka could think about, even while groggily and painfully waking up, was Inugami-kun.

She wasn't, even on a subconscious level, that worried about Haruna, Negi-sensei, or even Yue right now. She had sent the latter away from the most imminent danger, under the care of the always able Tatsumiya-san, and as for the two former, by now she felt very confident about Ala Alba's capability to survive pretty much any given event as long as they stood together.

Inugami-kun was the last person she had seen before losing consciousness in the middle of an extremely confusing and dangerous situation, and thus she had been as worried about his safety when she was knocked out as she was now, working her way through the pain and numbness.

When she, Kaede and the Sailor Senshi stepped out of the temple behind Illya-chan and Berserker to face the black maned behemoth steadily heading towards them, they had been joined by Inugami-kun, who was bringing both of his 3-F roommates along to relative safety. Instinctively, Nodoka had felt something uncharacteristically unpleasant towards the older girls as soon as she saw them again and not because of the rivalry between their classes, which had never meant anything for her before. But that had been quickly forgotten when Inugami-kun gave her that wide, bright smile of his, casually flipping a cocky salute her way.

That smile never failed to lift Nodoka's spirits.

"Hey, Pink Panties-neechan! Good to see you alright!" he had loudly said, and while it was embarrassing to be called that, especially in front of the curious sempai, she couldn't deny it took a lot from her not to run to him and hug him (or possibly smack him for the Pink Panties remark, she wasn't sure), so happy was she as well to see him standing and healthy. Alas, there wouldn't be much time for a joyful reunion right then.

The Lion, or at least Illya-chan had identified it as such, had finally arrived moments later while Inugami-kun ordered Fujiyoshi and Kobushi to rush inside with the other refugees, promising explanations for later. Then he'd stepped by Nodoka's side and told her, in very clear terms, the same command applied to her as well. Nodoka had been no less clear about shooting that idea down. And then there was no more time for any kind of discussion other than the wordless violence against the crazed titan and the creatures of darkness following its trail of devastation.

It was a brutal, confusing battle joined from all directions, and Nodoka's mind could barely remember anything of it right now. She did remember Berserker doing most of the heavy lifting, howling, roaring, bashing and stomping, leaping in the front of the beast with the same sort of animalistic savagery or worse. Illya-chan had been positively thrilled at that, giggling and clapping in a way Nodoka found highly unnerving, and Nodoka also thought she remembered Illya-chan making a brief mention about the large monster being some sort of old nemesis of Berserker's.

Knowing more than enough about Greek Mythology, Nodoka could figure that out easily, and it was rather impressive to ponder, even with everything else that had happened recently. Berserker might even actually remember the giant as his old foe, as his attacks were even more merciless and raw than those Nodoka had seen unleashed against Saber during their uneven duel. It was not like she could focus on that too much, of course, as Sailor Venus had diverted most of the attention of the Magical Girls Association on attacking the Heartless that came along with the lion beast, making a stand against them lest any of them could scurry past their line of defense and harass the non-powered students and teachers.

Inugami-kun, of course, had to stick to the biggest challenge despite Nodoka's cries to the contrary. Rippling through his shirt into his man-wolf form, he began striking at the lion's legs, making good use of his lightning speed to attack from several angles while avoiding his claw slashes not to mention Berserker's own attacks, as it was evident the Servant couldn't tell friend from foe apart and Illya-chan didn't seem too keen on setting the matter straight, standing back with great delight and amusement.

Past that, Nodoka really couldn't remember much else. She did remember feeling like things were becoming hopeless at some point, when the fight appeared to drag on and on without the kaiju falling, and as her anxiety grew, then something sprouting from the grass snared her by a heel just as the temple behind them started to burn…

Why had it started to burn, anyway? Nodoka hadn't been sure even while it was actually happening, much less now. Truth be told, at the time she could barely make any sense of anything. The only thing she was reasonably sure about was that she was still alive and away from the noise and fury of the confrontation, although for all she knew this was the afterlife and—

"If you're going to wake up," a man's voice told her, "do so already. Otherwise, surrender to sleep again. You're wasting my time taking this long."

Nodoka tried to speak, finding her throat sore and dry. "W-Who…"

Trying to open her eyes was a Herculean task in itself. Trying to look past the heavy bangs shadowing her face, several of them thick with dried blood, was another in its own right. Still, she could glimpse a sterile, plain cold floor, walls that were just as white and lifeless and, in stark contrast, a tall, slim but strong looking form fully wrapped in a black coat, head and face covered by an all concealing hood, standing before her in the middle of all that stark whiteness.

"You can call me," the man said, "Number Seven. And you are, I assume, the Disciple of Clow Reed. Where is he? Has he died? I see no other reason why he would pass his knowledge and work to such an inexperienced child. It must have been an abrupt, unexpected death. Unless you simply took possession of his legacy long after his demise."

"Where is…" Nodoka struggled to speak, "Inugami-kun?"

Now she remembered reaching for him, and him trying to reach for her, shouting her name, her actual name, not the embarrassing but cute nickname, right before losing consciousness.

"Do you mean the young lycanthrope?" Number Seven asked. "He managed to escape us along with the King and the Guardians of your Solar System after the Nemean Lion was felled, if that concerns you. Are you relieved now?"

He spoke cold and callously, but not without interest. Nodoka tried to ask about Nagase-san and Kero next, but found herself lacking the voice for it, and Number Seven hummed analytically. Then he gestured towards someone out of Nodoka's field of view and said something she couldn't quite make out through her aching haze.

Then she felt like a puppet whose strings are all cut at once, and she fell again, dropping on her face on the cold, perfectly white floor of the featureless room.

Nodoka now actually felt mildly happy everything around her looked so antiseptic.

* * *

"Ah, yes, poor, poor, loyal to the end Karin," Maleficent mused aloud sadly, a hand primly on her chest, her gaze locked on the sky in mocking drama. "Betrayed and left for dead... well, destroyed anyway, by the person she loved the most... well, her second best love anyway..."

"Wow, Master is always second best at love, isn't she?" Chachazero chirped.

"I don't know where you got your information on that subject," Evangeline muttered darkly, "but it's grossly inaccurate..."

"Actually, it sounds like it was a badass thing to do," Chachazero opined. "You should cruelly backstab people more often, Master. It's neat!"

Maleficent turned her gaze on the little doll, still feigning horror and disgust so strong she deserved her own telenovella. "It was so awful, such a betrayal of a young maiden's love! Right when the poor thing was earning her redemption, too..."

"Alright!" Chachazero gushed, almost panting. "I wish I could've seen that!"

"Young maiden my ass, Karin was older than I was! She had her own book in the bible at one point! I wouldn't place my hands on a fire for her purity either, even if I weren't invulnerable..." Eva grouched. "Anyway, how do you even know about Karin's existence? Have you been speaking to Dana, that filthy fat cow?!"

"I have eyes everywhere," Maleficent boasted, "for I am darkness made flesh and evil incarnate, no matter what that writer housewife says. Wherever there is darkness, there I have a presence, wherever misery and cruelty thrive, I have set my foot..."

Eva chuckled at Chachazero. "Can you believe this nutball's level of delusion?"

"She reminds me of someone, but I honestly can't remember who exactly..." Chachazero said piously, rolling her eyes around.

Maleficent hissed at the vampire. "Delusions?! How do you dare! I have been nothing but patient with your insolence, but you have just crossed the threshold—!"

"Yadda yadda, sure thing, whatever, fine," the blonde waved a hand with amused disdain. "Okay, then, let's hit the road. Show me where Karin is, unless you really can't, you drama queen."

Maleficent blinked, pulling back. "Excuse me?"

"Are you deaf, or does that ridiculous Comic-Con accesory get in the way of your ears?" Eva mocked her. "Fine, I have nothing better to do in this boring place, so let's see your alleged place where I left Karin. That'll be something, finding the girl alive again after seeing her reduced to nothingness. Not even she could've escaped that!"

"You aren't that genre blind at all, Master," Chachazero accused, "so I assume you're just putting up flags in hopes of seeing another idiot again? Why do you keep doing that nowadays? At least with Nagi I can understand, Nagi was cute and—"

Eva reached down, tightened a hand around Zero's mouth, and scooped her up, squeezing so tightly Zero's eyes had begun to bug out. The vampire grinned at the mildly perplexed Maleficent. "Well? Weren't you the one in a hurry?"

"After all those objections, you're coming with me after all? Just like that?" Maleficent asked, confused.

Eva shrugged. "It's not like I have anything to fear from you, and I really want to get my hands on those pages you have there. I figure I'll just have to get them from you the easy or hard way along our merry way. What can I say? I grow bored easily. And I haven't taken any good long trips lately, might as well use this chance."

Maleficent paused, unsure of what to do. For her own sake, she only hoped this vampire never met up with Hades, that would be simply unbearable.

Regaining her evilly regal pose, she gestured with her staff and opened a dark portal. "Very well then, let us move forward towards our fate..."

"This isn't any kind of date, though," Eva made clear.

"Who ever said it would be one?!"

"Anyone would kill to go on a date with me, you black-flaming imbecile," Eva sneered. "But I don't date women. I only suck them dry and dress them up provocatively."

"Didn't you fuck that other you for a week after– ?" was all Chachazero managed to get out before Eva started squeezing again.

"What... What does any of that have to do with... Ooohhhh!" Maleficent hissed, throwing her hands up and walking through the portal while already missing Pete's company.

Evangeline grinned to herself. "After spending so long holed up with Chachamaru, it'll be so good to spend some time on the other end of a long, nice, highly entertaining trollolololol..."

"Mmphh mmphh mmph mph!" Chachazero opined, as her Master followed the other evil being.

Evangeline, against her better judgment, loosened her grip slightly. "What was that?"

"Yay!" Chachazero cried. "Evil road trip! Sisterhood of the traveling emo!"

"We're not sisters!" Maleficent and Evangeline chorused.

There was a beat. "Are we there yet? I wanna rest in a hotel room, lure in hookers, chop them up and hide them in the mattress!"

"Shut up or I'm turning this road trip around to bury you in a septic tank!"

* * *

 _Traverse Town:_

"And so, once protection of the areas surrounding the city is guaranteed," Saber added, proudly tapping with chalk borrowed from Chamo on the chalkboard she had placed before the communal table, "the noble citizens of our fair town will be able to go work the fields for produce without need to fear the Heartless. Then we all will have a steady food source and will be able to fully focus on larger scope, albeit no less important, subjects like returning to Japan so we can resume mutual annihilation or annihilation of the Holy Grail, depending on the circumstances."

Then her royal stomach roared with all the majesty and power of a rampaging lion and she stuffed the piece of bread she had been holding in her other hand into her mouth. "Shirou! _Another!_ "

"Yes, yes… " Shirou said, sighing as he handed her another piece of bread.

All those sitting before her could agree on something. "..."

"However!" she cautioned, a mighty finger held high. "For that to happen, first I need the most important part of any good campaign!"

"A platform emphasizing the importance of justice?" Shirou asked.

"A hot and sexy publicist?" Misa questioned.

"Someone to run your budget?" Ayaka inquired.

"A well-paid loyalist who can sweep your scandals under the rug while providing you with more little sinful indulgences?" Haruna wanted to know, wagging her eyebrows.

"I need an opponent!" Saber decided, slamming a fist on a palm. "Even when I was King, I couldn't prove myself worthy of the throne until I disposed of enough adversaries and pretenders! Modern politics aren't that different, there's just less swordplay, honor, righteousness, religion, competence, and annoying wizards involved," she reasoned. "And after long and careful consideration, I have concluded only one person in this city can run against me and prove my divine right to lead!"

Lala blinked, looking up from where she had been trying to cutely feed Rito where he was sitting between her and Haruna. "Oh? Well, I suppose it would be good practice for when papa decides to retire to Risa with mother… "

"Not you," Saber said.

"Hah ha!" Haruna laughed. "So, it's come to this, has it? Well, as the future Evil Empress of Earth, I– "

"NOT YOU!" everyone else in the room except for Lala cried.

"Okay, I'll do it," Asuna said.

Ayaka gave her a funny look. "What?"

Asuna shrugged. "I don't know, I just felt like I should say something."

"No!" Saber said. "My opponent shall be…!" She dramatically spun around and pointed at one of the females at the table with a majestic finger. "Caster!" she called out. "As the single Servant left in this War to oppose me, you must become my rival!"

"... I pass," an unimpressed, frowning Caster said, dipping her piece of bread into her meager salad dressing and then putting it to her mouth, polite and refined. While normally she wouldn't need to eat, distance from the World Tree meant, even while resting and avoiding any and all confrontations, she still had to resort to all available alternate energy sources to keep herself alive. A visibly drained, occasionally twitching Akashi-sensei sat by her side, slightly pale and breathless. A visibly livid, occasionally twitching Yuuna sat by his side, red with rage and agitated

"What?!" Saber gasped. "Do my ears deceive me? For a Legendary Spirit to forfeit the call of battle...!"

"Why would I want to compete against you here, Saber?" Caster asked, wagging a finger at her like a mother chiding her child. "There is no Grail to struggle for, so what is the point? Besides, I've been a princess, and believe me, I'm in no hurry to return to the chains of power forced upon me. Much less after achieving true happiness in domestic bliss!"

"Domestic... bliss..." Yuuna muttered under her breath while Makie slow and carefully edged away from her sitting, brooding and darkened form. For some reason, she was reminded of the times when she'd been younger, when Homura-mama had found a small furry animal near her, before Homura-mama had taught her how scary and horrible small, furry, talking animals were.

"But…! But as long as Legendary Spirits coexist, we must measure ourselves against each other!" Saber protested. "That is the reason of our existence! If not in a bloody war, then in a grand prix, a game show, a mayoral race! The point is that's why we are in this world! Besides, I only could call a fellow Servant a worthwhile contestant!"

"I still pass, thank you," Caster declined her again.

"So, let me see if I understand this right," Madoka said, "if that Berserker guy happened to be here instead of Caster-san, you would be offering to have him run against you instead? Seriously?!"

Saber nodded emphatically. "Why wouldn't I? Berserker lacks the oratory skills, but otherwise has the makings of a competitive politician. Mind you, I'm not admitting he would be a competent administrator, but I see him launching a surprisingly efficient and challenging campaign."

"These are other times," Chisame sourly reminded her, "we don't run campaigns based on the slogan 'vote me or I'll smash you dead' anymore!"

"You obviously haven't ever been to Mundus Magicus," Cocone commented quietly.

"Or read much news about Third World elections happenings," Chizuru added.

"Do you not remember the Joker running for Governor?" Madoka said. "Or Mayor? Or Senator?"

Chisame sniffed. "Well, regardless, I doubt you'd find anyone stupid, arrogant or delusional enough to compete against you, or anyone gullible enough to vote for them."

* * *

"Vote Chisame-sama!" Matoi said, cheerfully, handing out fliers with pictures downloaded from Chiu's website to the still outside and milling townspeople who found they really didn't feel like crawling back inside their houses now that they had people to talk to right then. "Vote for Chisame-sama for mayor! Wouldn't you like a Mayor who looked like this?" She waved a swimsuit picture of Chisame, before looking at it and putting it into her hakama, deeming it too nice to give away. "Vote Chisame-sama!"

* * *

Negi sighed. "I'm sure you will find yourself a suitable replacement, Saber-san, and in the meantime, I'm glad we can count on a take-charge, experienced King like you to hold the home front. Now, I've been thinking about our next expedition to look for my father's whereabouts..."

All looks around the table fell on him. Even Pluto's.

"... and before anyone accuses me of obsessively worrying over a strictly personal matter in times of common need," the young teacher continued primly, "I'd like to remind you King Mickey himself told Naba-san, Ku-san, Mikado-sensei and Akashi-sensei finding Father was one of his priorities as well, so we can safely assume locating him has also grown very important for everybody's sake..."

"Okay, that's reasonable enough," Chizuru nodded, "especially after what Ayaka has told me concerning your father, Sensei. What have you decided on, then?"

"I think," he replied, "I've decided on whom I'd want to come with me to meet Master Yen Sid at his homeworld. Chamo, Miss Gadget, I'd like to count on your company again, if I'm not asking for too much."

"Aw, you know I'll be with you always, Bro!" the moved ermine quickly answered. "Now matter where, we're two peas in a pod, two amigos against the worlds, two—"

"I'll be glad to go as well!" Gadget interrupted, nodding vigorously. "I'd be honored to meet Master Yen Sid at last! Granted, he's no scientist, but if the King spoke so highly of him, there must be some merit to his research!"

"Thank you, I'm truly indebted to you two," Negi awkwardly smiled and nodded their way. "I'd also like for company from someone with peerless steering and piloting skills, and someone who is not only strong but knowledgeable on space travel. So... Morisato-san, Lala-san, what do you say? Do you mind helping me out, just this time, please?"

* * *

"Can you stand?" the cloaked man, Number Seven, asked, standing over her weakly struggling form and making no effort whatsoever to start moving to help her up.

Nodoka gathered her strength and pushed herself back up to her feet, supporting herself on a cold metallic surface at hand. She looked at it, and realized her fingers were wrapped around the open door of a large white containment pod. It was empty, but it was easy for Nodoka to deduce who had been inside moments ago.

"I can. Thanks for asking," she said rather coldly as her eyes took on the rest of the pods lined up along with the one that had been hers across the same wide, perfectly white wall. Sure enough, Nagase-san was in one, eyes as closed as ever, suspended in some sort of quiet, placid sleep. More startling was the presence of Illya-chan in the next pod, although Berserker was nowhere in sight. A much smaller pod had Kero inside, and she had to wonder what sort of people these were that had a pod exactly the right size for Kero. Nodoka repressed her first urge to try and pry it open since even if she could, the figure looming ominously over him surely would not allow it. She had to think intelligently, controlling her emotions, her—

There were three more pods: the first of them held a tall and lanky bipedal dog in a mostly green outfit and yellow pants, both adorned with a myriad of buckles and pouches and way too many zippers to be sensible. He also seemed to be wearing clown shoes, which naturally came to Nodoka, just like it would have to any other normal person, as a disturbing additional detail of the already unsettling particulars.

Another pod contained a white duck donning a blue hat and heavily buckled shirt, but no pants. The other one, which was tiny, held some sort of greenish insect in a black suit and shoes. Again, she had to wonder at how there was a pod for a figure that small. All three animals seemed to be either dead or in a state of suspended animation even deeper than the girls', since Nodoka couldn't read their breathing at all. However, they also seemed to not be decayed, so she could only hope...

"Welcome to The World That Never Was," Number Seven told her. Nodoka's eyes scanned the rest of the room, but she couldn't see anything else in it, and no sign of the person Seven had addressed before, either. "Consider yourself fortunate. You have been chosen for active surveillance, instead of the fate awaiting your fellow captives."

"What do you mean?" she asked, standing straighter and finally mastering the shaking of her knees, forcing herself to look up, into the shadowy folds of that unreadable hood.

"You are a prisoner of Organization XIII, selected to be our main test subject," Seven informed her. "Your reactions and emotional development will be carefully measured and analyzed for the purposes of our research. Of course," he raised a hand gloved in black before she could speak again, "resistance and escape attempts would be futile and only result in your elimination and replacement. The Book of Clow has been taken away from you and filed in storage where you never will be able to find it, and you lack any other means to fight us."

"Just give me a book. Any book," Nodoka did not ask but challenged, channeling the trained library survivalist in her and forcing the shy wallflower back as best as she could. It was surprisingly easy.

"You will have plenty of material to read, that's part and parcel of your intellectual and emotional stimulation," the man reassured her. "But even with all the books in all the worlds, there is no way you could stand against a single one of us, much less all thirteen, and even if you could manage the impossible and escape these facilities, you never could make your way out of this world."

"What are you saying?!" Nodoka gasped.

"You aren't in your world anymore, Disciple of Clow," Number Seven told her. "You are a literal universe away, and nobody here can or will help you. The best you can do is find solace in the fact you won't be hurt, as long as you behave properly, and as long as you are of any use to our investigations."

"Useful, me? Why?" Nodoka asked after quickly measuring the pros and cons of formulating the question. On the one hand, she shouldn't risk making her value doubtful, but on the other, she needed as much information as she could get, and quickly.

"You still have a Heart, and you are of an age where emotions and hearts alike bloom and develop as fast as they can go," the man answered. "You are a prime material source of what we are lacking, and how— and even if—- we could and should recover it."

"I'm afraid I don't understand yet," Nodoka had to confess.

"Yet," he nodded, turning around and briskly starting to walk towards a door that only became apparent now it was opening apparently on its own. "Come with me. And don't be left behind. This is the first stage of your analysis."

Nodoka doubted, looking back at the still inhabited pods, before silently swearing a promise and hurrying to catch up to the deceptively quick moving stranger.

Despite of how unnerving and inhuman his presence, especially his proximity, felt.

* * *

 _Mundus Magicus:_

The red-haired woman in armor had asked the bartender for more tables, at least according to what Yukino explained, and several of the patrons had been all too happy to retreat quickly to provide them with the requested space. Kazumi got the impression this shapely female and her team (an almost as curvaceous young blonde, the two handsome yet dense-looking boys that would certainly have been very 'inspiring' for Haruna, and some blue cat who hung around the dumber looking guy's feet eating fish without a care in the world) were rather feared and not completely liked, yet just as respected either way.

Being a member of Class 3-A, Asakura could feel a budding empathy with them, just for that. He wondered who their Class 3-F was.

 _Somewhere on the high seas, the crew of a pirate ship sneezed_.

"It could be worse, I suppose," Yukino sighed, sitting across the table from Asakura with Natsumi, Yue, Hirano, Saya and Tate. "Lina Inverse could have been hired to pick you up, instead of us. Or that pervert Kazuma the Brute."

"Lina Inverse?" Natsumi echoed, while nodding her thanks at the waitress bringing her a large cold beer glass, except the beer had been replaced with foamy milk in this case. Mana had been adamant the minors under her care not being given liquor, although Katsuragi-san and Fujimura-sensei were already chugging glass after glass of the local beverage of choice all too happily over at the next table, to Kyoko-sensei's amusement, Asuka's growling discontent, and Rance-sensei's disdain. Some of the more courageous locals were cheering them on.

Yukino nodded. "We've never met her ourselves, but everybody at the Guild paints her as some sort of hideous ogre-woman even dragons are scared of. She's supposedly willing to take on any kind of job, no matter how vile, twisted and morally bankrupt if it come with a high enough payoff, and she's always leaving trails of corpses behind..."

The remaining patrons and the bar's staffers quickly whispered to themselves and each made quick, fearful gestures and prayers to bring the blessings of their respective gods upon themselves.

 _"Our Father, Thou art in Heaven…"_

 _"Iä! Iä! Cthulhu fhtagn!"_

 _"Hail Unholy Lord, Mother of Nightmares…"_

 _"Oh great and powerful Lifemaker, protect us… "_

 _"Our Batman, Thou art in Gotham…"_

 _"All hail Madoka, who watches upon as all, grant us this day our hope…"_

 _"Celestia is the beginning, Celestia is the end, Cellestia is all…"_

 _"Nyan nyan, meow hish!"_

 _"Eris pads her chest… "_

Hirano blinked. "Huh. Everyone seems really devout around here."

"Heh. I wonder if she's from Gotham too?" Asakura said.

Natsumi and Yue blinked at that and shared a worried look before Ayase asked Yukino, "So, um, Sempai, if we could speak about how and why you arrived here in the first place..."

"Sorry, but first I need to know something!" Yukino urgently said, brushing Yue's question aside and grabbing Saya's hands before she could move them away. "Please, Takagi-sempai! Tell me how Haruka-chan is doing! Is she okay?! Is she, is she—?!"

Saya sighed heavily. "Suzushiro's been doing fine, really," she muttered, inwardly cursing, far from the first time, for having been charged with the Vice President of the Student Council as her roommate. "She was a nervous wreck the first few days after your disappearance, but later she coped remarkably better than I expected. I always thought she couldn't even handle her everyday routine without having you around to babysit her, but..."

"It helps," Asakura grinned impishly, making Yue and Natsumi frown already, "she's found such great support in Negi-kun's English Research Society!"

Yukino gasped. "Haruka-chan... Are you telling me she, she's joined that club in my absence?! She, well, she never seemed to think too highly about it, sorry, but that's the way it was..."

Kazumi chuckled, ignoring the subtle kicks Yue and Natsumi were giving her legs under the table. "Oh, she's one of its steadiest and most devoted members now, though... But, enough of that," she grew more serious, realizing inducing a stress panic on Yukino by telling her Suzushiro had declared herself to be Negi's fiancee would only delay the answers she wanted. Even if it might prove being amusing. "Why are you hanging with a guild of... idiot shounen hero types in this fantasy RPG world?"

"I could also ask you what you're doing here in the first place," Yukino argued.

"You arrived way before us, so you get to explain before we do," Kazumi hummed, and Yukino had to accept that was a valid point. "Most importantly, how did you know we'd be here?"

"Odds are," Yue said, "they have simply mistaken us for an actual group of tourists from Earth."

Natsumi narrowed her eyes at Ayase. "You knew a lot more about these things to begin with than I did, didn't you, Yue-san?"

"Guilty as charged, please forgive me," Yue admitted, with a hand on her own heart and the other on her large glass of oddly rainbow-colored croach juice. "I promise I'll also explain myself properly as soon as we've sorted the most pressing matters first."

Yukino exhaled. "Well, I might be explaining this backwards, but our Guild, even though technically we're just interns while we gather enough money and resources to continue our quest, as I was saying, our guild got a strange, mysterious mission offer on its message board last weekend. It promised fifty bars of solid gold to any team of the Guild who could take some tourists from here to Canterlot Castle in Equestria..."

"Say what now?!" Hirano said, his glasses growing foggy and slightly askew.

"What's more," Yukino added, "whoever posted the message left fifteen bars of gold as an advance payment, and by the looks of it, that little fellow as well," she pointed at the small white animal Hikaru kept on her lap at the other table, the short redhead constantly petting and caressing it while also cooing playfully at it. "No one can figure out what kind of animal he, or she, is. I'm not too sure myself, but all he or she can say is 'Fou! Fou!', so... we call him or her Fou," she shrugged her shoulders.

"Okay..." Tate said, scratching his cheek.

Yukino paid more attention to the cold, subdued discussion between Mana and the armored redhead two tables away. "Tatsumiya-san and Erza-san are reaching an agreement, it seems," the bespectacled secretary informed. "Now, I don't understand yet why the school would plan something like this for you, especially when most of you apparently didn't even know this world existed, but—"

"Believe me, Kikukawa, this was a totally unplanned thing," Tate sighed. As the errand boy of the Student Council, he and Yukino were familiar enough he didn't bother talking to her with honoriffics. "By the way, why are you carrying a copy of Captain America's shield on you?"

"Out of all the things we should be asking, is that the first one you can think of?" Saya scolded him.

He shrugged indolently. "Gimme a break, this situation's insane enough I might as well just start with the craziest questions I can think of."

"That makes no good damn sense at all!" Takagi snapped at him.

"Um, actually, this isn't a copy, it's the actual shield of the real Captain America," Yukino awkwardly said, holding the large round shield before her chest. "At least that's what Presea-sama, the weaponsmith who gave it to me, said, but I couldn't ask her how she'd gotten it in the first place. She... She was killed shortly afterwards..."

"Oh... Oh dear. So... So sorry about that, then..." Natsumi replied, unsure of what else to say.

"Hm," Hirano adjusted his glasses, "I must say I'm impressed, Secretary-san! You're so small, and yet you can lift it around so easily!"

"Oh, it's not that heavy, actually, I believe it's forged from some ultra-light alloy, see?" Yukino explained, bringing it up and down with a hand. "Besides, I've been training on how to use it while we've been traveling across the lands. I still can't throw it like a frisbee or anything, but I've grown better at blocking with it... and since I don't have magic like Hikaru-chan, or a magic sword like Kiryuu-san, it's all I've got to defend myself with, really..."

"I, I see," Natsumi nodded stiffly, trying to process that info before daring to ask more on magical swords, guilds, or—

"Now it is MY turn to ask another question," Yukino's tone grew colder and more business-like, the shield's edge resting on the table's surface as she held the instrument of war in one hand almost casually. _**"Where is Haruka-chan right now?"**_

Natsumi, Yue, Saya, Hirano and Tate all fell into an extremely tense silence and then began moving their chairs away from Kazumi's, giving her center of the stage.

Asakura had to laugh falsely. "Ah-ha-ha-ha, that's a good one, guys... Seriously, though, _why me?!_ "

"You've always liked to give news, Asakura-san, as I recall," Yukino leaned closer, her glasses shining threateningly and her voice growing increasingly eerie. "So why won't you now make good use of your freedom of speech to inform your public in need of truths, hmmmm?"

Kazumi gulped, still clenching her smile. "Maybe I should've taken up ballet like Mom wanted me to?"

* * *

"Are you sure you must leave us again? So soon?" Ayaka said doubtfully, standing alongside Haruna, Rito, Chisame, Misa, Aerith, Cid, Skuld and Sora in the party that had accompanied Negi, Gadget, Keiichi, Lala and Chamo to the Gummi Ship. The sun already was setting down in the horizon (not that you could tell, since it was an embarrassing excuse for a sun), and for the first time ever, Chisame was wondering exactly why it looked the exact same size as the Sun of their Earth despite being so dim and cold the town was perpetually darkened. Weren't stars all supposed to have different sizes?

Negi, standing at the foot of the ship, shrugged with a small smile. "I'm sorry, but we really shouldn't be wasting any time. I mean, not that spending any time in your company is a waste, Iinchou-san, but… I promise I'll make it up to you as soon as we're back home!"

"Oh!" Ayaka gasped, clasping her hands together. "Would you spend a weekend at my manor with us then, Sensei?"

"Yes, yes, I promise…" Negi nodded, while Chisame and Misa shared a jaded glance. "I'm already looking forward to it, as a matter of fact…"

"I only hope Roberta-san and the rest of your staff are all okay, Ojou-san," Keiichi said from where he already was sitting down at the pilot's seat, buckling his seat belts. The ship originally hadn't come with seat belts, but Keiichi was too experienced a driver and had seen too many episodes of Star Trek not to know he needed them.

Ayaka waved a hand. "Roberta-san can survive anything, I'm sure. Nothing short of complete nuclear warfare will ever stop her, and she'll keep the rest of them safe and sound. On the other hand, I can't help worrying about the lot of you, since—"

"I promise I won't let anything bad happen, Ayaka!" Lala happily waved her concern away. Then she leaned onto Rito and pouted her full lips at him, her tail circling around his waist and a finger teasing the middle of his chest. "But, ah, Rito, you sure you don't want to come along, too…? There's enough room for you, and even if there weren't, I always could miniaturize you, not even needing Alice's Artifact…!"

"Lala, please, you lived fifteen years just fine without having me around, spending a couple days away won't hurt you!" Rito protested, pushing her hands away. "Seriously, grow up a little, will you?"

"Sometimes you worry me, Rito-chan, for real," Haruna sighed, as she moved on to give Lala a fond farewell hug, a few pats on the back (and breasts, and ass, and thighs), and several teasing rubs on her tail, making the Devilukean moan suggestively and Peke to mumble under her breath. "Keep an eye on Negi-kun and Sempai at all times no matter what, Lala-chi, okay? And bring me something nice, please! It doesn't mean to be something expensive, just a cute souvenir or another I can send to Mom when we get back!"

Skuld chuckled sourly, arms folded behind her back. "Your mother would just sell it."

"That's why it'd better not be expensive," Haruna said, finally releasing Lala's tail and gently wiping the drool off a corner of Lala's mouth with her thumb. "If I'm going to waste gifts on her again, this time it better be a cheap trinket!" Putting one arm arund Lala's waist, Haruna expertly spun her around, tilted her back, and gave her a deep, passionate kiss.

Sora called out for Keiichi. "Sempai! We'll keep on praying for your safety, and also for your family's in Japan!"

"Thank you, Sora!" Morisato shouted back. "I'll make sure to bring something for you, too!"

"F-For me?!" she gasped, recoiling back. "Um, that's nice of you, Sempai, but there's no need to bother, I mean it…" she fidgeted in place, twirling her fingers together.

Chisame exhaled, pushed the glasses back up her sister's nose, then patted Negi's head three times. "Well… I guess there's no point in stalling anymore, then. Good luck, and come back as soon as you're done up there."

He nodded firmly. "I will, Chisame. Misa-san, I—"

Misa leaned down, smirked, and swooped down for a kiss on the lips that became kiss on the forehead when Ayaka not too subtly tugged her head up while holding her by the hair. After the kiss, Misa briefly glared flames at Ayaka, then pinched Negi's cheeks. "I'll have something very nice ready as a surprise for you when you get back, okay, Negi-kun? So don't be late!"

"Okay, now that is all kinds of ominous, so let's just cut this short before it gets too creepy," Skuld grumbled, all but pushing Negi up and into the ship. "Remember, at the first sight of unmanageable danger, you are to immediately rocket back here. It shouldn't be difficult with the G-Warp boosters we installed for you. If you run into anyone claiming to be a relative of mine or to know me, ask for their credentials before agreeing to anything, and if that someone's named Urd, don't agree regardless, on general principle. Live long and prosper and all that, now just go, I've got projects to go back to right now! Saotome! Get your tongue out of your boyfriend's fiance's throat and stop tribbing your crotches together, it's time to go!"

Haruna gave her a languid wave as Lala gave a final full-body shudder. Breaking the kiss, Haruna as-expertly spun Lala back to her feet, holding the alien princess steady for a moment while Lala seemed to recollect herself, blinking and staring at nothing, a wide, languid and satisfied smile on her flushed and dreamy face. "Come on, Lala-chan, time to go," Haruna said, giving her a motivational slap on the ass that made Lala jump and inexplicably giggle.

"Oh, stop trying to get crap past the radar, you're not good at it!" Skuld said, reluctantly grabbing Lala with her fingertips and gingerly pushing her into the ship.

"Just as warm as ever, Sku-chan," Haruna told her moments later, as they watched the Gummi Ship go up into the sky, quickly growing smaller and smaller. "Would it have killed you to have a few fond words of farewell for Kei-Sempai?"

Skuld grunted. "I'm a goddess of the future and the yet-to-come, and farewells imply leaving things behind rather than facing them upfront. I much prefer greetings myself. B-besides, it's n-not like I l-like him or anything! I don't care if that idiot comes back or not! Hmph!" Her nose went 'tsun' as she turned way haughtily.

"What a weird way of phrasing you aren't good at letting go." Haruna then turned to her boyfriend. "And you, Rito-chan! I can't believe you were so cold to poor Lala-chi! She's going into potential danger, the least you could have done was make sweet, sweaty 'come back to me' love to her before she went out! Really Rito-chan, I can only run so much interference with Lala for you."

"What of it?" he asked, blushing. "She needs to learn she can't keep being that clingy!"

"You say that now, but next thing you know, you'll be missing her sneaking into your bed naked at night…" Haruna predicted.

"I know I would!" Cid sighed heavily, shaking his head. "Honestly, why is it that kids never seem to be thankful for the great things life bothers giving 'em?"

"H-How do you know about that!?" Rito protested, blushing wildly.

Haruna smiled. "I might have told her it's a traditional Earth courting ritual."

"Haruna-chan!" Rito blushed.

"What? It's true! Just ask my aunt Xian Pu!"

The others, with the practice of long experience (and in Aerith's case, a quick crash course) ignored Haruna as they stood in silence, watching how the spaceship disappeared into the cosmic distance.

"Well," Aerith finally said, "maybe now Miss Alice will finally be convinced to step out of her bedroom…"

"Given how Saotome clings to her like glue? Doubtful," Chisame said.

"Oh, and whose fault is that, Miss 'Haruna, take this poor innocent girl under your wing'?" Misa said.

"I stand by my command decision," Chisame said stubbornly.

Misa snorted. She glanced behind Chisame, then blinked in surprise. "Hey, where's your stalker?"

Chisame frowned. "What are you talking about, she's– " she glanced behind her. "Ah? She's not there? But she's always there!"

Misa smirked. "Maybe she finally got tired of you?"

Chisame's face went strange for a moment. "Damn it, I'm not longer sure how to feel about that…"

* * *

"Vote Chisame-sama for Mayor!" Matoi cried, distributing fliers and soap. "Make Traverse Town Great Again!"

* * *

 **To be Continued**.


	18. Church and State

_Mahou Sensei Negima!_ created and owned by Akamatsu Ken and Kodansha.

 _Fantasia_ and _Fantasia 2000_ created and owned by The Walt Disney Company.

 _Lobo_ created by Keith Giffen and Roger Slifer, owned by DC Comics.

 _Fate/Stay Night_ created and owned by Nasu Kinoko and Type-Moon.

 _Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon_ created and owned by Takeuchi Naoko and Shueisha.

* * *

 **The Keys of the Kingdom HD 2.8 Final Chapter Prologue Turbo Hyper Champion Edition Gold**.

 **By OverMaster and Shadow Crystal Mage**.

* * *

 **Chapter Sixteen**.

 **With Special Thanks to Darkenning and H.G. Wells.**

* * *

Symphony of Sorcery, while small and relatively distant and difficult to reach for most interplanetary travelers unless they knew where to look, was one of the most diverse and colorful worlds in its universe. A veritable Fantasia, a cornucopia of enchanted sights from all varieties.

People mostly visited it for the horny dryads, but that's people for you.

It held both valleys where whimsical creatures of myth danced with each other and abysmal depths where monstrous creatures of fire slept. It contained small modern cities bustling with thriving optimism and chords of jazz, and downright bizarre extensions where nothing but geometrical shapes and abstract bursts of color randomly exploding, pulsing and interacting with each other. It was a world marked by stark contrasts and incredible differences, but each and every landmark and region of its surface was just as incredible and awe-inspiring as the others, in their own diverging ways.

The world was controlled by one of the highest representatives of Light and his counterpart born from Darkness. Two halves never meeting, and yet always keeping each other in check through a steady, long standing balance.

The Dark Lord Chernabog* sat atop of the world's tallest mountain and saw the tiny shooting star speeding down towards the other end of his homeworld, past the borders of his black kingdom, close to the mage's domains. Something in his sinister heart stirred uncomfortably, in a way akin to that of a diminutive red hot needle prodding his charred soul. He had just had a presage about that apparition, and so he opened his wide, bat-like wings and roared.

The demons crawling and prowling all around the rocky mountain, under the starless sky, paused and looked up, at the giant who stared fire towards the other end of the planet. They stood silent before his inhuman growl. The horned nightmare sank his claws into the rock and dragged them across the hard surface, ripping through the ebony stone, seething miasma and poison.

Chernabog was not pleased.

He threw his head back and roared, a horrible sound that echoed all across the shadowy, wrecked wastelands. A call of arms, the most hideous and aggressive of them all.

Several of his winged minions took off into the sky, cackling and writhing and hissing inhumanly, waving pitchforks, tridents and spears around, out to carry on their Master's orders and flapping towards the distant object of his ire.

Out to bring that diminutive errant messenger of hope down before it could reach its destination.

* * *

 _Traverse Town, Being Made Great Again:_

"And I think the school should be set up here," Saber added, gesturing towards an old, currently abandoned large manor across the street. She'd been leading Shirou, Akashi-sensei and Caster on a guided tour of the town (the underground automated post office– and whose insane idea had that been?– had taken them all morning), in part to keep an eye on the other Servant and keep her away from her likely scheming indoors, and in part to consult the only responsible adult academic she had at hand (Itoshiki obviously didn't count) on her plans for the youth of Traverse.

Shirou, who tagged along while taking notes as Saber's newly appointed secretary (Chisame had been Saber's first choice, but she'd declined the post while dragging Matoi back home and chiding the older girl over nominating her as a rival candidate without Chisame's consent or support and searching her for the risque Chiu material she'd apparently been spreading around), sighed wearily. His mood was hardly in the best shape after being passed off on the trip to another world to meet an old magus and mentor to heroes. At this rate, how would he ever fulfill his own dreams, dammit?

"Saber," he observed, pointing his pen towards the large empty stables by the mansion, "you're aware they kept horses, not children, there, aren't you?"

"What of it?" the blonde asked him. "That is part and parcel of the reasons behind my choice. I believe every youngster should be educated in the proper arts of horsemanship, jousting, swordplay and Advanced Squirrel Taming in addition to the usual Math, Literature, Social Studies and Elementary Ninjutsu taught in Japanese schools. Even more so in an environment like this. This isn't the modern Japan where nobody was expected to ever fight for their survival, Shirou."

"I... I don't feel really comfortable acting that way, as if we never were going to return to Japan, Saber-san..." the teacher breathed deeply, adjusting his glasses on instinct more than anything else.

"The possibility is there, Wataru-sama," Caster reminded her. "Would it really be that bad, after all? Here you have your loving wife and your daughter, and our lives are actually safer away from the Grail War, what else could you wish for...?"

"Television, Internet, working cellphones?" Shirou began asking. "Train systems, fast food, amusement parks to visit with your family..."

Caster sneered with disgust. "Those banalities are meaningless for a magus! We were far better off without them in the Age of Gods, young man!"

"… chocolate," Shirou finished.

"…" Saber and Caster chorused.

"Damn you for having a good point," Caster said.

"I mean, don't get me wrong," Shirou argued, "I was raised by a magus myself, although he was very modern as far as magi go, and I'll take a good homemade meal over fast food any way, but Yuuna-san and the others might not—"

Saber groaned, putting a hand to her growling stomach. "Please don't talk about food until our supplies are fully replenished, Shirou. You're making this so much harder for me."

"I could build an amusement park for Yuuna and her lovely friends here, given enough prana," Caster told Shirou, making Akashi shudder suddenly. "That is laughably easy for someone with a Territory Creation skill as high as mine, ho ho!"

"Wouldn't that be a gross misuse of Territory Creation?" Saber disapproved. "Besides, any amusement park you could create would be as much of a death trap as those owned by that buffoon on the news. Let us focus on the proper healthy education of the children before spoiling them with frivolities. Now, as soon as I can find suitable horses, we can count on Ayaka-san to act as as—"

"Dad!" they heard the voice cry out from behind them, and Akashi-sensei turned reflexively to see Yuuna jogging towards him, breasts bouncing in a way that would make Gainax proud. Not running by any stretch of the imagination, but not exactly walking, either. It looked like she'd been just wandering around, looking for them, and then mildly dashed for her father as soon as she'd located him. "So there you are!" she said, stopping before him, frowning. "You're actively avoiding me now, aren't you?"

"Why would I do that, right after finding you?" he objected, frowning back. "I was asked to help with an important subject that concerns us all, yourself included, and I couldn't just—"

"Yeah, yeah, whatever," she waved a hand at him. "I'm sure it can still wait, but we haven't discussed that thing yet, remember?"

Shirou blinked. "Which 'thing'?"

Caster smiled. "I believe she means all the unsettled questions left hanging between her and Wataru-sama, especially in what concerns to her mot—"

"Aaaaand that's no business of any of you guys, shoo! Shoo!" Yuuna waved them off with an arm while the other pulled her father against herself. "Dad, I've been waiting to have this private, and I mean private, talk with you ever since you arrived—"

"Don't you mean since you stopped believing he was some type of creature in disguise out to manipulate your feelings?" the amused Caster suggested.

Yuuna stared poisonously at her. "For someone with ears that long, you don't listen too well, do you? Father-and-daughter private matters..."

Caster pouted, taking a hand to her ear. "They aren't long, simply pointy! Besides, I'm your mother now, Yuuna-chan, you shouldn't try and leave me out of these discussions!"

"I only have one mother and she sure as eggs wasn't born before Jesus!" Yuuna snapped angrily. "And besides, you're my evil wicked witch classical Ancient Greek step-mother! I know how this goes! I warn you, try anything and I'll have Asuna-chan beat you up so fast you're sealed in a trashcan for ten thousand years!"

A vein bulged on Caster's forehead. "I'm going to be generous and assume that was a mere statement of a fact rather than an insult on my age, but be aware my generosity has its limits, Daughter..."

"I'm not your—!"

"Don't fight!" the Professor commanded, stepping in between them. "Don't fight!"

"Yeah, well, good luck with that, Sensei," Shirou said in a way that said he was probably getting more Kirei-like pleasure from Wataru's dilemma than was healthy for a Hero of Justice as Saber facepalmed. Then he lifted his gaze to the skies. "Ah, Negi-sensei and Morisato-sempai sure are fortunate... What wouldn't I give to be there right now...!"

* * *

"Wow, this view is awesome!" Keiichi said. "Emiya-san is going to be so jealous he missed this!"

And they got to the next world safely, with nothing ironic happening to them.

What? Sometimes that sort of thing happens!

* * *

Now they stood on a platform made of swirling, black energy created from the fairy's dark arts, which floated in the seemingly endless void between planets, looking up at one of the most impressive sights Evangeline had ever beheld.

Right next to that time she finally caught on Nagi bathing in that river.

"This," Maleficent coldly narrated, audible only because her spellwork was creating an artificial air bubble around the platform, "is the barrier between the universes, or at the very least, one of them. Within it lie forces beyond mortal understanding. Many have attempted to unleash them, and all have failed. The Wall has claimed them as eternal captives. Each realm that is aware of its existence has a name for the power contained in it. I believe your universe's elders call it... the Source."

Evangeline stared, with wide eyes and a slightly open mouth, at the comparatively tiny naked form preserved in a griamce of frozen pain among the imprisoned giants. She was naked, remains of shredded clothing preserved around her, and her right hand still clutched the hammer Evangeline had once presented her with.

"Wow, but if it's Madoka!" Chachazero cackled, hanging from Eva's right shoulder, clinging on it with her diminutive hands. "I always knew that girl would get far in life if I didn't murder her first. I think she was clubmates with a god? That's what she mumbled in dreams that one time I snuck into her room anyway, to fantasize on the best way to kill—"

"Silence," Evangeline absently ordered, not looking at her as she pressed a hand on the doll's mouth. Now her studious gaze was traveling over the rest of the beings held along the Kugimiya-looking short haired girl, a collection of fearsome and bizarre titans, most of them as inhuman as possible. Several of them barely could be described in any human words and had shapes, physical traits and ornaments mankind has rarely if ever thought about, much less taken an effort as to portray them.

The most frequent trait shared by the vast majority of them was their overwhelming size and bulk, almost making Maleficent and Evangeline look like ants in the unmeasurable width of open space as they stood before them. Specks in the face of old conquerors as ancient as time or close enough; yet the scene that would have humbled almost anyone else did little to placate their own senses of self-importance.

Maleficent snared. "Fools, all of them, but as far as I know, your friend was the only one to suffer this fate because of self sacrifice, rather than a bid to obtain the ultimate prize. Not that it has made her hell any less torturous than theirs, apparently."

"Actually, it looks like they can't feel anything at all, right?" Chachazero commented casually now Eva's hand had slipped back down. Her legs kicked back and forth mischievously. "Although it'd be neat if she actually was suffering. Wicked cool!"

"She... She was not my friend, she only was..." Evangeline said in a small, faraway tone, before frowning and floating up, gathering energy in her hands. _"Τὸ συμβόλαιον διακονῆτω μοί—"_

Maleficent grew tense, her crow cawing and rushing to cower behind her collar. "Don't even think about—"

 _"ἡ κρυστάλλινη βασίλεια!"_ the Shinso kept on chanting. _"Ἐπιγενηθήτω, ταἰώνιον ἔρεβος, αἱώνιε κρύσταλλε. Πάσαις ζωαῖς τὸν ἴσον θάνατον, ὃς ἀταραξία!"_

"You fool!" Maleficent growled, summoning Darkness to shield herself and Diablo as best as she could. "You can't possibly break through the Source Wall itself!"

 _ **"Κοσμικη Καταστροφή/Κοσμικη κρύσταλλοπεγυα!"**_ Eva shouted at the top of her lungs, and blasted the never ending wall, at least Karin's section of it, with her best Kosmikê Katatrophê, point blank, then making it explode, in an overwhelming, awe inspiring display less than ten living beings on all of Earth could have survived—

And yet, when the ice particles resulting from the impact finally cleared up, floating in the vacuum, the Wall remained untouched, Karin's shape still as well preserved as before, like a sexy butterfly in amber. "It... It can't be..." Evangeline softly said, ignoring Chachazero's whimpers and whines, the doll clinging on the edge of her Master's microskirt lest she fell into the endless abyss below.

Maleficent hissed, working back to her feet from the kneeling position the recoil of the blast had sent her into. She was well aware she'd have been shattered if not downright vaporized, even after imbuing herself with Darkness, if she had been the target instead of standing behind the vampire. After pushing herself back up on her staff and checking on her rattled, disturbed pet with a fond caress and pat of its head, the dark fairy lectured, "Even one as you cannot hope to put a scratch on the Wall without Kingdom Hearts or a comparable—"

Undeterred, her eyes black and golden, Evangeline formed a Dios Tukos on each hand. _"Κενότητος ἀστράπσατω δὲ τεμέτω—"_

"Don't tell me you're going to keep trying!" Maleficent gasped.

 _ **"Δίος τύκος!"**_

Half a hour later, even Evangeline was panting, her every major spell tried at least twice, Maleficent, Diablo and Chachazero huddled together behind her under a black barrier. The Wall remained as flawlessly glowing and pristine as before, not even a single detail of it changed, not even the slightest section chipped away. "I can't fucking believe this..." Eva muttered, sitting down on the platform's edge with an angry pout.

"Now," Maleficent said, standing back and trying to regain her cool aloofness, "do you see why it is so important to me to gain access to Kingdom Hearts?"

"What," the annoyed vampire asked, "is Kingdom Hearts?" She was too upset to even bother with a scathing added stinger, her tone conveying the whole of her frustration and contempt instead.

"It is," Maleficent explained, "the heart of all worlds, and the source of ultimate power and wisdom. It can be considered an aggregate of hearts. It is the drill that pierces the Heavens, it is the sum of all fears, it is the key that can unlock any door. With Kingdom Hearts, there is nothing that cannot be achieved. I firmly believe we can not only access, but to control, the whole Wall with Kingdom Hearts."

"It is vague sounding as hell, that is what I think it is," the unimpressed witch muttered. "Are you sure that thing even exists at all?"

Maleficent smiled. "All of what I needed to know is in the pages of Ansem's full reports. He was too weak-willed to carry his studies to a good conclusion, but somehow, he stumbled exactly into the keys to decipher Kingdom Hearts' greatest mystery. Through the Princesses of the Heart, we can grasp Kingdom Hearts, and with it, this, the greatest prize!"

She gestured towards the boundless Wall, with a dramatic flair Evangeline found highly puerile. "Just think about it! Help me in this enterprise, and you can not only free the lost soul who was taken away from you three centuries ago, but you can share with us power beyond your wildest dreams! The power to crush all your few remaining enemies, once, for all, and forever!"

"'Us'?" Eva snorted. "Interesting choice of a pronoun there, hag. Besides, how do you know about Karin in the first place?"

"The latest defeat of the Obsidian Prince was not an event that went unnoticed by the Fair Folk, Princess of the Darkness," Maleficent smirked wickedly. "Even the details and most related circumstances of it found their way into our knowledge despite your and the Crystal Princess' efforts. maybe you would have kept a better lid on them if the Moon Princess had been with you at the time, but alas..."

"There are," Chachazero quietly decided, "too many Princesses in this affair for my liking."

The crow emphatically nodded its agreement, ruffling its feathers.

Evangeline gave a low, raspy grumble from the most unfathomable depths of her throat, and once again looked up at Maleficent in supreme annoyance. "Okay. I'll admit that's likely to be Karin. I have no idea how she got there from blowing herself up to nothingness along the Obsidian Lord—"

"Isn't it obvious?" Maleficent asked. "The Lord, like so many others, was looking for ultimate power, and that only can mean—"

Eva raised a hand. "That still doesn't explain how she got there regardless! But alright, I'll admit it can't be a fake. If you were powerful enough as to build such a... construction, able to endure my attacks, which obviously you aren't, you wouldn't need my help in the first place. So, I'm not saying I'll go along with it, it's not like I care about that idiot or anything, but... exactly what do you need my help for? I'm now remotely curious...!"

"Before the unavoidable long-ass explanation starts," Chachazero groaned, holding up a hand of her own, "can you take the discussion back to some place where we aren't floating in the middle of the fucking space? Because I think we really could use some chairs, here!"

Again, the crow nodded several times.

Maleficent and Evangeline scowled at the suggestion, looked at each other, and then shared a shrug of shoulders, since it was, for a change, an actually reasonable thing to ask for, after all.

* * *

Whatever else could be said about Lala, Keiichi and Gadget (and there were _a lot_ ), they were darn good pilots, and so it didn't take long for Negi's intrepid and budget-rate spacefaring starship crew of intrepid explorers to quickly and safely arrive on this new, wonderful alien world. It was larger than Wonderland, even if still nowhere as wide as Earth, and so they didn't have a landing spot that was as clear as that chosen for the planet ruled by the Queen of Hearts. Currently, they were hovering over the world's surface, looking for the best landing site close to Yen Sid's place of residence.

Wherever that was exactly, that is.

Negi's attention was at first tightly focused on that as he leaned on one of the windows, his eyes scanning the skies of Symphony of Sorcery. Soon, however, he was distracted and awestruck by the vision of two majestic flying creatures heading the ship's way. His heart gave a backflip in his chest, while his eyes grew huge and starry. The boy leaned further ahead, almost as if he wanted to pass through the unbreakable crystal, his mouth wide open.

"Keiichi-san, Lala-san!" he eagerly called out. "Gadget-san, Chamo-kun, you too, come see this!"

"Did you find the Yen Sid's Tower already?" Gadget asked, perking up from Keiichi's shoulder, on which she'd been sitting.

"What—No, no, but come look at this, anyway! It's simply incredible! Pterosaurs!"

Keiichi did a violent and sudden spit-take, which was amazing, since he hadn't been drinking anyhting. "You mean, like pterodactyls?!"

"Oh, let me see!" Lala bounced from her seat, reaching Negi's side in a single bound, and then grinning from ear to ear as she too saw the two big creatures gliding above the lusciously green wild lands, held up by leathery wings finished in sharp claws. They kept their distance from the strange newcomer into their skies, which was why the Gummi Ship's alarms hadn't started blaring yet, but Keiichi and Chamo still felt a vague dread as Morisato turned the radar on and they, too, got a clear signal of them. "Uwaa! Reptilian animals long thought dead in your planet, Negi! What a breakthrough finding!"

"Fascinating, isn't it?" Negi nodded eagerly. "It, this is my first time actually seeing dinosaurs! Wow, dinosaurs! I mean, technically, they aren't dinosaurs, but still, reptiles from the Mesozoic Era! I, I always wished for a chance like this, I'm so happy to be alive…!" he began sobbing loudly, trying bravely to hold the tears back.

"… sometimes I forget he's still a child, after all," Keiichi pondered, slightly thrown off, as he glanced at him over a shoulder.

Chamo shrugged from the ship's floor. "What kind of young man with no soul doesn't love dinosaurs? Bro, I'm so happy for you! But, remember we're on a tight schedule, we can't stop here!"

Negi looked back at the ermine, biting his lower lip. "Can't we? Just for a short while? What if, um, another Princess of Heart is down there?"

Chamo blinked, thought for a moment of a buxom nubile lady clad only in leopard furs and a regal crown on her scalp, and began chewing on his furry lower lip as well. "Th-That's a certain possibility, I'll admit it, but…!"

"What kind of uber-mage lives in a world populated by dinosaurs?" Keiichi wondered. "What is this, Conan the Barbarian? The Herculoids?"

"If this is the area of the planet inhabitated by prehistoric creatures," Gadget cautioned, "then we possibly can't be in Yen Sid's domains yet. And our priority is finding him before thinking of locating any more Princesses!"

"What if he's, ah, scouting the jungles down there?" Negi asked, poking a pointer finger towards the dense rainforests below.

"Why," Gadget evenly asked, "would a reclusive sorcerer ever do that in the first place?"

Negi blinked. "Given any choice on the matter, who wouldn't?"

"Hmmm… Let's agree on a compromise," Chamo quickly reasoned, "first we find this old wise man, and if he tells us there are Princesses in this primitive jungle no doubt conductive to people wearing little to no clothing, then we can run an in-depth search as soon as we can, if there aren't, well, you still can make a quick stop afterwards to take a few selfies with a small dino or two before we run into any of the big scary ones…"

"I'd rather not take those risks at all!" Keiichi protested.

"Me too," the ermine sighed, "but no way we'll talk him out of it altogether. Trust me, I know…"

"I wouldn't place any of you into danger over my own wishes, I'll just drop by alone!" Negi claimed.

"You won't do that!" Keiichi denied him. "If a T-Rex eats you, then Chisame-san and Ayaka-san will kill me, and that'll be more painful than being eaten alive by a giant lizard!"

"Dinosaurs aren't lizards, that's a gross taxonomic mistake," Negi lectured, "they're—"

"They're horned and winged humanoids carrying pitchforks?" Lala suddenly asked, frowning through the window.

Negi paused. "What kind of—Of course not, Lala-san, that's imagery associated with demons instead, it has nothing to do with dinosaurs. Why would you say that? You aren't the kind to mix research books together!"

Lala pointed further away, as the Pterosaurs quickly flew away from the five gargoyle-like, loincloth-sporting hideous bipedal monsters approaching the ship from the distance. Negi gasped loudly, and Keiichi cursed as more blips appeared on the radar. "I thought so as well," Lala continued, "but I wanted to be completely sure, since you're the expert on the subject. Oh, but look! They have tails just like mine! How fortunate, perhaps we've run into some relatives! Whoo-hoo!" she called out, waving energetically and twisting her tail around. "How do you do, brothers of the Devilukean bloodline! I'm Lala, your Princess and future Queen, so nice to meet y—"

Then one of them shot a massive fire blast from his pitchfork that hit the Gummi Ship squarely on a flank.

* * *

 _Traverse Town:_

"I'm glad you've calmed down a bit," he said, applying the bandage to the rather large bump on his head.

"What the flaming moonbeams gives you the asinine notion that I've done something as utterly out of character as calming down?" Yuuna snarled as she sat on the edge of his bed, glaring up at him through his living quarters' bathroom door. As she looked around again for any signs of the obnoxious witch, she couldn't help feeling the strangest, vaguest feeling of _deja vu_ or whatever else it was called _._

"Well, you agreed to come in here so we could avoid airing our family's dirty laundry in public," her father mused, stepping out through the door and closing it behind himself. "I think that's progress. I think it shows that you've calmed down. And stop looking around for Caster like that. If I told her to stay out while we talked, she'll stay out while we talk. Not like you could spot her in her Spirit form anyway. Heck, even _I_ can't, and I'm her Master..."

" _I_ think _you lied to me_ and I think I'm pissed off!"

"... well, actually, there's no real uncertainty there - I _did_ lie to you and you are certainly upset - so it's not really a case where you can say that you think these things are true, but rather -"

" _Why_ did you lie to me?" she interrupted.

"Could you be specific about which particular lie you mean?" he replied.

"You're cruising for it, Dad!" Yuuna snapped, shaking her fist. "Seriously -" She took a deep breath. "Why didn't you tell me the truth about Mom before?"

He sighed. "Aside from the fact that you were five years old at the time?"

"Forget at the time, you've had ten freakin' years to figure out how to tell me the whole story and -"

"- and I don't know the whole story," he cut in. "I wasn't told the full details of her mission. That is what being involved in this world means, Yuuna, very often you're only told what someone else thinks you need to know, and you're not made privy to their reasons for deciding why they think that. And yes, the parallels between that situation and what I did to you are pretty obvious," he added quickly as she began to open her mouth.

Yuuna facepalmed. "You know what? You know what the screwiest thing about all of this is?"

"That we're having this discussion on another planet?"

"... close but no cigar! The screwy thing is, I'm not actually mad about you hiding stuff from me. You're the parent, I'm the kid, you gotta make these decisions. I get that. I really do. You know why I'm so mad? Do you know why I'm so utterly utterly mad right now?"

"Clearly I don't."

"Yes, because you suck at keeping these things secret! You are _terrible_ at making these decisions! If you never wanted me to know about magic, why the hockey sticks did you leave me in the class being taught by Negi-kun?"

"W-well, you were settled there and I didn't want to pull you out of -"

"Uh-huh. And why'd you give me permission to join the English Research Society?"

"What else was I supposed to do? I figured even if you joined them in pursuit of Negi-kun, he'd be responsible enough that you wouldn't find his secret out before it was time to graduate and -"

"You thought I actually was in pursuit of Negi-kun, like Iinchou and the others?"

"One never can know with Negi-kun! He does have this strange, illogical attraction aura around himself, much like his father had!" he protested feebly.

"So you assumed I'd just fallen for him! You took me for another Shotacon! You just didn't take me seriously. Look how well that turned out! Were you ever going to tell me at all?" Yuuna asked him.

"I don't know."

"Oh, come on, you can do better than that,"

"No, I really can't do better than that," her father replied sharply. "There are too many variables. As you grew up, and it became clear to me that you didn't have a... a talent in the area, that you were like your mother rather than like me, that you weren't ever going to discover it on your own the way that I had, I decided that there was no point in exposing all of this to you. I hoped that you'd be able to lead a normal life."

"And again, look how well that turned out."

"And that's what I meant by there were too many variables," he retorted. "I always knew that there was a chance that you were going to stumble onto something on your own, and I knew that there was nothing I could do to influence that chance one way or another." He reached up, took off his glasses, and rubbed his eyes. "For what it's worth now, I'm sorry, but not regretful. I did what I always felt I had to do."

"Well, yeah, same thing here, then," she muttered, folding her arms under her chest and looking away.

She realized, then, that he was crying. Manly tears, of course, bereft of sobs or choking gasps, but clearly expressing pain and grief and fear nonetheless. All at once, every element of spite that had been filling her heart dissipated like dew beneath the sun, and she rose up from the bed and, three steps later, wrapped her arms around his chest to hug him hard.

"I didn't tell you because I was scared of losing you, like I lost her," he said to the top of her head. "And then I almost lost you anyway."

"You didn't," she said to his chest.

"Yes, and I'm so glad you're -"

"No," she said, pulling back and looking up. "You didn't lose Mom, okay? Someone took her from us. Whether it was the assholes who drove us here or some other bunch of jerks, that's not the point. It wasn't anything you did. I'm gonna get whoever did it if it takes my whole life, and nobody is ever going to go through what we did if I can help it. So it wasn't anything you did. Okay."

He gazed down at her, tears still flowing from his eyes. When he spoke, it was to say something he knew that he might regret saying, but had to say regardless. "You are so very, very like her," her father said.

For a second they stood there, gazing at each other's faces. And then, just as she'd once mused about doing, she gave her father a long, wet, deep kiss.

 _"Pactio!"_ a voice that was annoyingly familiar to Yuuna by now said abruptly, with no small amount of grating smugness, right before his father could push her away from himself, startled and panicking. And then, on cue, an overwhelming flash of blinding white light engulfed the whole bedroom.

Yuuna, more quietly upset and frustrated than anything else, wondered exactly when the insanity was going to stop at last before wearily catching his newly formed second card in descent. She couldn't see anything yet, but she felt it slowly coming down, and intercepted it mostly on instinct. Her father, on the other hand, could be heard softly gasping as he pulled back, clearly too stunned to think of anything properly, much less to act on it.

When eyesight returned to Yuuna, the first thing she actually could see was the smirking Caster, her hood all the way down, standing besides them, casually holding a piece of chalk up and stepping on the edge of the magical circle now visible right under and around the Akashis. Yuuna stared deep and agressively into the Servant's eyes, but the older woman's smirk remained unsinkable.

"C-Caster!" her Master said. "What, what have you just done?! I told you to wait outside!"

"You didn't say for how long, Wataru-sama," Caster innocently said, "so I did just that for the first minutes of your conversation. Of course, you neglected mentioning I could not listen from the outside, so I assumed you would have no objections to that. And once the path events would take became clear enough, well, I decided I had to act so the outcome would, at the very least, result in something advantageous for the both of you, rather than a mere accident you would later regret forever."

"I should have used a Command Seal!" the teacher sighed loudly, irritably running a hand down his face.

"Perhaps you should have indeed," Caster agreed, even now ignoring Yuuna's further hostile glares.

"Don't tell me..." the man doubted, glaring through between his clamping fingers. "You weren't together in this from the start, were you? I don't and can't believe you were, but..."

Yuuna cringed. "Me? Working with _her?!_ Please, Dad!"

Caster laughed lightly. "Please, Master, by now you should be aware I am perfectly able of taking my own decisions without needing for council with any third parties. Let us simply agree on sharing the blame on this little incident; I didn't spur you to kiss any more than you spurred me to arrange for an Alliance from said kiss. Which reminds me, Yuuna-chan, what is the exact nature of our precious gift to you?"

Yuuna frowned as she lifted the card back up. "You are the best magical expert in the room, aren't you? You tell me."

It showed Yuuna in some variation of Mahora's basketball uniform, but wearing elaborate, metallic high-tech bracelets, and with small rocket packs attached to each side of her body. She was in mid-jump, or maybe mid-flight, about to slam a basketball between her hands. Her title read:

 _Acasi Juuna. Amicitia Sal Vitae_.

"Translation?" Yuuna asked.

"'Friendship is the Salt of Life'," Caster sagely said. "I choose interpreting it as an auspicious omen of the forthcoming friend between us."

"You wish!" Yuuna smiled, half-bitterly. "These things are so silly."

"Yes, they are," Akashi-sensei sighed.

"Now," Caster purred, moving between him and Yuuna to stick her body's front to his, playfully teasing his chest with a ritating pointer finger, "I believe it is fair for the man who would grant a Pactio to his own daughter to deliver one to his wife as well. It would certainly be a great help to the stabilization of my existence. As I understand, Saber and her Master have established an alliance of their own..."

"And God forbid you'd ever stay behind Saber-san in anything!" Yuuna sighed exasperatedly, throwing her hands up.

Once again, the woman laughed in that soft, lingering, taunting way Yuuna found to be so damn irritating. "I'm certain the feeling is mutual! My dear daughter, that is simply the way matters between Servants are supposed to be. Ours is a game of dominance, in everything we do, as I am sure you have noticed by this point."

"I'm not your daughter!"

"Caster," Wataru rasped through his dry throat. "I'm well aware of the, complications of our situation, and I swear doing everything in my power to keep you alive, but maybe, right now it isn't the best of times-"

"You should have used another Command Spell now," she huskily told him, throwing her arms around his neck and further cutting the flow of his words with her violent, torrid and forceful kiss.

The glow was even greater and more impressive this time, Yuuna had to admit that, as she was nearly bowed back by the force of the magical outburst happening so close to her. It was even bigger than the flash that had ensued when Iinchou gave Negi their Pactio kiss, and it took the student far longer to regain her sight this time around, forcing her to rub her eyes several times and to seriously worry about being left blind for a moment. Thankfully, she could see again shortly afterwards.

Not so thankfully, the first thing she could see was Caster again, once more flashing that smirk while holding her own, fresh Alliance card up.

It showed Caster in her usual purple getup, her face once again concealed by her ominous cloak, standing in an austere, quiet pose, with her hands folded before her lap. Under the image the ever helpful Spirits of Magic had branded the _CASTER_ designation in big type, and under that, in smaller print, the name _Medea Colchora_ and a Latin title.

 _Magus Ab Aetate Deorum_.

"Magus from the Age of Gods," Medea proudly translated, despite the fact nobody had asked her to.

"Well, that's great, it's wonderful to be you," Yuuna sighed, tossing her hands up and waving them around twice. "Now, I'm pretty sure that flash must have startled half of the city up, so why don't we go out and make a few convincing excuses-"

"Yes, you do that, thank you so very much," Caster agreed, leaning on Akashi-sensei again to begin languidly kissing his lips once more, closing her eyes and rubbing herself against him. Unable to resist, he moaned into her kiss, slowly moved his hands around her waist, and tightly cupped the flesh of her buttocks, fondling them over the cloth she was wearing.

Yuuna stood there, slack-jawed. She was honestly struck by that in a way all the magical reveals she'd experienced over the last couple of months couldn't ever strike at her. And that, she was feeling it now, was not a good thing at all.

The best part of everything that had happened to her recently was that, between finding out that her dad had been hiding things from her, which sort of suggested that he might have more of his shit together than she realized, and all of her adventures, she thought she had finally gotten clear of her daddy complex. She was going to have her life, and he was going to have his, and they were going to be part of each others' lives, but not the whole of them. She'd been ready for love that didn't come from Daddy.

And here she was watching that... that _undead witch..._ getting love that did come from Daddy.

Really, she shouldn't be watching this. She should just turn around and walk out of the room and pretend she hadn't seen anything. They seemed to have forgotten about her and most likely wouldn't notice her leaving, not surprising considering how now her father's back was to her and that back was wide enough to block Caster's sight line to the door. The smart thing to do would be to just walk away, and since Yuuna, while not brilliant, was certainly no Baka Ranger, she ought to do the smart thing.

So why wasn't she doing it?

"Dad?" she said.

And then, greatly startling her, the bedroom's door was kicked open and literally sent off flying off its hinges from the outside. Caster actually yelped, pulling her Master out of the way of the flying wooden object, as a wild-eyed, rattled Suzushiro Haruka broke in, spiked mace firmly held in her hands, while Aerith quietly followed her in, with an air of mortified resignation.

"What's going on?! What's going on?!" Haruka repeated feverishly, her head snapping in all directions as Yuuna just sighed and Caster frowned irritably, angry at having her moment interrupted. "We felt the flashes, so were's the enemy?! Or was that you, Caster-san, has Saber-san been in the correctful this whole time, are you trying an attack from the withinside-"

"Oh, for the love of Zeus Almighty," Medea muttered, while her Master exhaled and fixed the collar of his shirt, cheeks slightly flushed.

Yuuna just made a small smile, walked over to the still eager and nervous Haruka, and gave her a big hug. "Thank you so very much, Sempai," she warmly said.

"Eh?" Haruka grunted. "Why for, Akashi-san? Were these people doing something to you? And why is there a Pactio circle fading on the floor, anyway?"

Aerith breathed in, turned around, and walked away. "Okay then, I'll be in the kitchen with Miss Ai if someone needs me for something that is actually important..."

* * *

 _Mahora of Darkness:_

The Heartless were spreading across Mahora City now, after a short pause brought by the arrival of two of mankindp's greatest defenders. And so both the police department and the unofficial defenders of the city were being forced to cope with the onslaught of darkness in their own ways. There was a lot of running around, screaming, big swords and general mayhem.

Rukia was yelling at Ichigo that he hadn't warned her about this. Milky Holmes were being thrown around like pastel pinballs. Haruhi was in tears at not being able to check out the invasion, stuck in Kyon's house as part of a ridiculously elaborate charade to make him think it was all a perfectly normal unexpected storm. Homura-mama had broken out the illegal automatic weapons and was fighting her way to the dorms to "SAVE HER BABY!" Mitril was trying to extract Kyoko, who insisted she wasn't going anywhere without Kaname. And most of 3-F were all casually walking around using what was going on as examples in their latest bit of social commentary (which was 'licensing and regulation').

The rose embedded itself into the Heartless' forehead, thorny tip first. The black creature, vaguely shaped like a bipedal rabbit, paused for a moment, then tilted its head to the side and growled, as if actually questioning the nature of the attack.

So Tuxedo Kamen punted it off the rooftop's ledge and down to the street below.

"Okay, who's next?" he invited, gesturing with a gloved hand towards the small but incredibly numerous beings surrounding him from all sides. It was all quite refreshing really. He felt so _useful!_ Was this what the Senshi felt _**all the time?**_

The Heartless charged at him. Flashing a smirk, the masked young man swung around, using his cane to swat more Heartless down to the pavement, where they shattered into explosions of dark specks. At the same time, he kicked others away from him, although that barely kept them apart. He had been fighting them for nearly an hour now, all across the neighborhood, and it felt like he was barely making any actual progress. For each he destroyed, several more would take its place. He had to find the source of those creatures before—

 _"Dead Scream,"_ someone whispered from the shadows of the night, and a wide range blast pulverized most of the Heartless facing Tuxedo Kamen, the others being quickly dealt with as a blond woman in a familiar sort of uniform landed before him, making short work of the monsters with the wider end of her long, metallic staff.

Tuxedo Kamen took a step back, cane still at the ready. "Why, good evening. So there's another one now, huh? Let me guess... Jupiter?"

"Pluto," Sailor Pluto said, cold and distantly, regaining her dignified pose. "Senshi of Time."

"Uh, does Pluto count?" he said. "Because according to the naming convention... well, Pluto isn–"

 _ **'"Pluto is still a planet, damn it!"**_ _'_

"Oh," he said. "Well if you say so. I'm—"

"Tuxedo Kamen, I know. Venus has... repeatedly told me about you," she chose to say only part of the truth. She looked down at the city below, apparently the same as always save a few small fires starting across the Commercial District. "Pleased to meet you."

"Likewise," he said, also choosing to avoid noting how she didn't sound pleased at all. Not that he could blame her given the circumstances, but he had the impression she'd have acted the same under any other conditions. "Then, where are Venus and Mercury right now?"

"I wish I knew," Sailor Pluto admitted, "but the truth is- Wait!"

She looked up, and a moment later, so did he, as their attention was caught by something that had suddenly appeared twinkling in the sky, far above the convulsing city. A strange, bright, small light that, if anything, seemed suddenly more ominous than all of the bizarre darkness enveloping it. A shooting star of sorts, and then again, not like one at all.

Something that rushed down from the sky out of the greyness-rushed slantingly downward and very swiftly across the clouds in the western sky; something relatively tiny but notoriously elongated, that swept round in a perfectly straight line, grew slightly bigger by the moment, sank quickly into the horizon line, and vanished again into the grey mystery of the night, disappearing into the Mahora campus. And as it flew it rained down further darkness upon the land, leaving a faint trail of the stench of sweat and cheap cigars upon its wake.

A new arrival to this already complicated War of the Worlds.

* * *

 _Traverse Town:_

"And you say," Pete snarled, looking down at the small man who sat before him in the darkness of the basement, "you're part of the coalition."

The Mad Hatter, who had made himself a small paper hat out of a newspaper they had given the two of them as a tablecloth for their meals, rocked back and forth, seemingly traumatized, and hugging his knees tightly under his chin. "I used to be, at least until Alice cruelly turned me down and allied herself with our enemies. Now I'll probably get my head cut off."

"Are you sure we're part of the same coalition here?" Pete insisted. "Because I don't remember ever seeing you before, and I was one of the highest ranking members..."

"I would know about you if you had been, since *I* was one of the highest ranking members!"

"You're delusional! I'm Maleficent's right hand! Well, left kicking foot at least!"

"You're nothing but a fool! A bloated, uncouth foot soldier!"

"I'm just big boned!"

"You are so fat, Humpty Dumpty's clothes won't fit you!"

"Oh yeah? Well, you're so much of a midget, they should've gotten you to capture Snow White!"

"How... How is that an insult? I would have done an excellent job at capturing Snow White!" the Hatter exasperatedly asked. "I'm a Gotham criminal, threatening women with vaguely rape-y scenarios is part of wht we do! Also, they aren't midgets! They prefer the term 'hideously deformed dwarves'!"

"Dwarfs!" Pete corrected him.

Tetch folded his arms and humphed. "I have no time to waste with a brute who knows nothing about Carroll OR Tolkien!"

"What do a carrot and a token have to do with any of this?!"

Then Skuld entered the improvised dungeon, the doorknob patched up with healthy fruits and vegetables to prevent any more chewing on Pete's part, with heavy bags under her eyes and looking rather rattled and twitched. She sat down between them without saying a word and folded her arms on her knees, resting her chin there.

Pete blinked in some concern, vaguely paternal feelings coming to the fore. He was a doting dad, after all, his wife notwithstanding."What did they do to you, and why are you—" Pete began.

"They didn't send me here. I'm here to hide from them," Skuld replied hollowly.

"Huh? But that doesn't answer anything, why are they so angry with you, you felt you had to—" Pete began. Again.

Skuld just whacked him on the head with her mallet, then asked, "So, what do you do here to pass the time?"

"Mostly, we engage into colorful strings of mutual recriminations and insults," Tetch said.

"Nah, we bitch about you guys and swear about how we're gonna get you," Pete corrected. Weirdo.

"Ah, well. I can do that. I have lots of practice with one of my sisters, and it's also most of what we do up there, anyway..." Skuld began.

For a moment, the three shared a look. It said, "For all I loathe you can would gladly kick your ass, you weirdo, I will at least credit you with not being one of _**those crazy bitches**_. Weirdo perverts!"

* * *

"Don't you think," Shiina Sakurako asked out of the blue as the girls rested on their backs on the grass, idly looking up at the clear dark blue, practically black Traverse Town sky after a hard day of working the fields and keeping the forest animals off Misa whenever she inadvertently started singing, "we might be turning into some sort of cult?"

Kasuga Misora, of course, was quick to move her head—and only her head, since she was otherwise too busted—around to give the unusually pensive cheerleader an upset look. "Now what are you talking about?"

Sakurako shrugged, still not looking at the short-haired apprentice nun. "Just think about it. We've become an isolated, but quickly growing, tightly knit order of devoted followers to a young leader, son of a nearly mythical figure who vanished mysteriously. We have you and Cocone, nuns, and a honest, bonafide goddess in Skuld-chan. We've met ghosts and demons, we've received visits from other dimensions and _gone to_ other dimensions. We're pals with a devil-like princess from another world. We are so totally a weird cult of sorts!"

"Saku-chan," Hakase Satomi sighed, laying by her side and keeping her arms folded under her head, "you aren't thinking logically! Not only is Skuld-san nothing but a Sufficiently Advanced Alien, not only do Misora-san and Cocone-chan belong to a faith different from yours, not only am I an atheist, but Lala-san's 'devilish' physical traits are only an incredible coincidence of evolutionary convergence! Odds are her ancestors once visited Earth and eyewitnesses of their arrival gave birth to the myths of devils with spade tails. Think nothing of it!"

"Right," Hasegawa Chisame muttered, folding her hands together and frowning while also just lying there. "Our personal beliefs couldn't be all the more different from each other, what are you trying to prove here, Shiina?"

Sakurako pouted, trying to concentrate harder. "I'm not too sure myself. Just something that came to mind, I guess…"

"Look, I'm not going to tell you 'if you have the time to think about that crap, better use it on something else', because I'd be a hypocrite then," Sakurako's close friend Kakizaki Misa lectured in nothing but a flimsy top and short shorts, reaching down to scratch her bare leg rather lazily. "But as long as we're taking a break, why don't we think of more relaxing, enjoyable things like, I don't know, boys? Or girls in your case, I suppose."

Satomi stared at Misa. "Why should she be thinking of other girls when I'm right by her side?"

"Then think of each other and, I don't know, make out a little or something," Misa waved in their general direction. "Right here if you want to, I won't mind."

"You just want to watch," the third cheerleader, Kugimiya Madoka, mused aloud, eyes half closed and hands resting under her own chest.

"What if she wants to?" Saotome Haruna grinned salaciously, turning around to lie on her side now, adjusting her glasses as she edged closer to the mismatched young couple. "Is it that wrong, to find joy from watching two dear friends find solace in their mutual company? But seriously, Saku-chan, I thinking you might be onto something concerning that cult thing, there."

Chisame sighed in frustration. "Not you too!"

"Eh, if anything, you're the High Priestess, don't try to deny it!" Haruna accused. "You were, after all, the first acolyte of Negi, and remain the most faithful one to this day…"

"Excuse me?" Yukihiro Ayaka finally deigned to join the conversation, raising an eyebrow.

Chisame glared at Haruna. "Okay, Saotome, I'm warning you, cut the crap already! Don't even think of treating me as if I were Negi's—"

"Of course not, Saotome-san!" Ayaka said indignantly, bolting up to a sitting position on the grass, a loose crown of fragrant wild flowers on her light gold hair. "If anyone is to be considered Negi-sensei's High Priestess here, that's me!"

Chisame facepalmed. "Don't you have any limits, Iinchou? Don't tell me now you'll seriously start thinking of Negi as some sort of Messiah!"

"Oh, she will, why would you doubt that?" an amused Kagurazaka Asuna asked, rolling down on her stomach, sandaled feet mischievously kicking up. "I'll bet she has a church ready for him when he gets back! Probably got tips from Daidouji-san."

"Be quiet, you heretic!" Ayaka commanded, pointing a finger at the laughing redhead.

"Shouldn't we be the Church of Skuld-chan, anyway?" Sasaki Makie innocently asked. "She's the actual goddess in our church, and—"

"She's not an authentic deity!" Hakase snapped.

"We aren't a church!" Chisame added.

"Our Lord and Savior is Negi-sensei, not Skuld-san!" Ayaka protested.

The other girls stared at her.

Ayaka huffed. "What?"

"Okay," Madoka said then, "now that level of blind devotion convinced me. You're the High Priestess."

"Of course I am!" a smiling Ayaka agreed, nodding and placing her fists on her hips.

"She didn't say it so you'd take it as confirmation!" Misora snapped. Regardless, that was the most commonly accepted starting date for the existence of the Cult of Ala Alba.

* * *

Sitting behind her makeshift campaign desk at the town's main square, made of empty apple crates (the desk, not the square) Saber frowned and folded her fingers in the classic Ikari Gendo pose. The fact she was wearing her face-obscuring cap along with the rest of her Mysterious Heroine X-attire only heightened her ominous lack of expression. She looked, in fact, like a 90's X-Men character, of the sort that tried too hard to be appealing and cool to younger demographics.

"So," she summed up, "basically, you wish for my support and allowance of your new religion, this Cult of the White Wing with Professor Negi as your prophet. I hope you are well aware that during my reign that would have left you heretic enemies of the Holy Church, to be hunted down and killed like rats."

"Ahem," Misora coughed.

"Nuns exempted," Saber allowed.

"Well," Asuna sighed, reluctantly standing at the back of the group, "we'd be aware of it if you just told us already who you're supposed to be, but I agree it was a stupid idea anyway..."

"I can tell you this much," Saber said, "I once commanded one of the Crusades to free the original Holy Grail from the damned… enemy. Your ideas, during those times, would have damned you to a death by the stake. Only the method— impaling or being burned alive— would have changed depending on the judge."

Ayaka, at the very head of the delegation, opened her mouth to protest, but Saber stopped her with a gesture. "However," the Servant cautioned, "I have not taken office yet, so I can neither condone nor prohibit your decisions. Until the elections are held, I have no reason to support or oppose you as long as your actions don't threaten my Master's safety or support Caster's efforts against us..."

"Saber-san," Haruna flatly said, "I don't think Caster-san is scheming anything against you, really. As a matter of fact, I believe she really likes you..."

"Then, what you're saying," Ayaka pressed on, ignoring Haruna as much as Saber herself was doing, "is that you won't harass us as long as you aren't the Mayor, but once you are, then what? Would you really turn against us just for that?"

"I never said that," Saber coolly shrugged. "I just wanted to remind you you'll be seen as aberrations by many in this relatively primitive environment, but I'm well aware times are greatly changed for us. I wouldn't go out of my way to go pursue followers of the current Islam just because we used to do that during my term as king."

At the back of the group, Misora blinked and tilted her head, eyes going unfocused for a moment before Cocone smacked her and waved an admonishing finger. Misora, to her credit, managed to look ashamed.

"So," Misa said, "we're free to operate, no tricks, no hidden clauses or anything like that?"

"Well," Saber conceded, "we still will need to reach a legal agreement on whether churches and cults in this city are to pay taxes or not. I hope you understand I cannot possibly approve of your operations if your ceremonies include blasphemous acts of orgiastic initiation with minors such as Professor Negi."

Haruna and Misa threw their hands up, made faces of disgust, and stomped away down a side street.

The rest of them watched them go in silence, and then Saber held a pen and paper to Ayaka. "Please sign these terms of operation Shirou bothered to draft in the event of new religious organizations cropping up during our term. It'll start being valid as soon as I sweep the elections, but first I would still need a—"

"Leon! It's Leon! Guys, Leon's back from the mountains!" they heard a man call out for other villagers a block or two away, and then the heated, eager murmurs of other citizens peeking out their homes and scurrying into the light to go follow the man who was calling for people to go greet this 'Leon'.

Saber smiled faint but firmly as Ayaka and Chisame carefully read through the terms of the document. The Servant of the Sword slammed a fist into her hand.

"A veritable stroke of luck," Saber said, obviously pleased. "It would seem I might have found a viable opponent at last."

"See, that's a miracle of our church," Sakurako nodded. "It's bringing you divine blessings already!"

"Oh my gosh, you're really are getting into this, aren't you?" Madoka shuddered. "Suddenly, I feel like I'm back in the SOS Brigade… crap, I'm starting to miss Haruhi-sempai! _**That is so sick and wrong!"**_

 _Meanwhile…_

"Join the Church of Chiu!" Matoi declared, handing out fliers. "Accept her as your goddess and savior and you shall be saved from the marauding darkness! Chiu-sama is the beginning! Chiu-sama is the end! Chiu-sama is all!"

* * *

 **Omake! Tsukuyomi-chan's First Kingdom Hearts Mission!**

Nothing said she couldn't have some fun before carrying her job out, so for a change, she decided to engage into some peaceful tourism and sight-seeing before engaging into the massacre. The massacres being the most fun of everything didn't mean they had to be all Tsukuyomi ever enjoyed, after all. Desserts taste much better after a 'proper' meal and apperitives, and all that.

And talking about tastes...

"What are these?" she curiously asked the salesman she had found by the seashore, during her quiet free afternoon in that fascinating new world to explore and later plunge into darkness, after dinner and trying out some of the local underaged prostitues (or possibly just girls coming home from school she dragged off to an isolated corner and raped at swordpoint. She really couldn't tell, they didn't say much. She left some money anyway).

"They are sea-salt ice cream sticks," the salesman smiled at her. "Salty, but also sweet! Why don't you try one? I'm sure you'll love them, everyone does!"

"I will!" Tsukuyomi gleefully said, picking one and paying for it. "Itadaikimatsu!" she childishly sing-sang, before sticking the ice-cream into her mouth...

Then a single big fat tear escaped out a corner of her left eye.

"THIS IS DISGUSTING!" Tsukuyomi cried. "It tastes like salt and sugar!"

So she unleashed the Heartless and destroyed the world. Which she was going to do anyway, but that's beside the point now, isn't it?

Worse of it all, the sea salt gave her a bout of diarrhea. A world with that kind of awful sanitary conditions truly deserved what it got, if you asked her!

* * *

 **To be Continued**.

* * *

* Not to be confused with the Dark Lord Voldemort, the Dark Lord Sidius, the Dark Lord Sauron, the Dark Lord Morgoth, the Dark Lord Chuckles the Silly Piggy, the Dark Lord Ganondorf, the Dark Lord Mordru, the Dark Lord Dracula of Castlevania, the Dark Lords of the Universe, the Dark Lord Thanos, the Dark Lord Ming the Merciless, Batman the Dark Knight of the Justice Lords, or the Dark Lord Bob from Accounting.


	19. Yen Sid

_Mahou Sensei Negima!_ and _UQ Holder_ \- Akamatsu Ken and Kodansha, creators and owners.

 _Fantasia_ \- The Walt Disney Company- creators and owners.

We make no money at all from this!

* * *

 **The Keys of the Kingdom HD 2.8 Final Chapter Prologue Turbo Hyper Champion Edition Gold**.

 **By OverMaster and Shadow Crystal Mage**.

* * *

 **Chapter Seventeen**.

* * *

 _Symphony of Sorcery:_

As soon as Lala realized the ship had just been hit, taking a major impact on its side and sending her shipmates violently bowling over in all directions above an alien world whose layout she didn't know in the slightest, she realized she should perhaps have taken those vaguely familiar looking creatures more seriously, like her father would have. This depressed her, since she had never intended to get Negi into any trouble.

And, as soon as her smile became a frown and she'd finished blowing up the demons to particles with the Gummi Ship's mounted lasers (Wataru-sensei, Caster, Chizuru, Ku and Mikado had all been VERY adamant about making sure it wasn't armed with cartoon crap), the ship quickly began losing altitude, heading down at breakneck speed towards the small planet's surface. The celestial body's gravity caught them just as Keiichi was beginning to wake up, wondering why the last thing he remembered was a sharp blow to his head, and why he felt like he was breathing into someone's crotch…

Then the impact of the violent landing, even though softened by the Gummi Ship's automatic shields, knocked him out a second time.

* * *

 _Traverse Town In Twilight:_

"It was Chisame," Hasegawa Sora quietly informed them after pocketing back her Pactio card. "She said they're going to investigate someone named 'Leon' who apparently came back from the Northern borders."

"Leon?" Shirou echoed curiously, marching alongside her, a miserable looking Rito, and Alice, who had finally been convinced to come out of her room. She had only agreed to hang out with the more relatively normal acting members of the entourage, however. "Who's that supposed to be?"

"From what the locals are saying, some kind of notable in the city, who was out scouting for possible ways out to safer places to stay," Sora explained while they walked across the grassy slopes surrounding the South edges of Traverse, stepping carefully in the dim, practically non-existent light. They'd left the last few neighborhoods behind without running into a single Heartless so far, which was good, because their only available strategies in the event of an encounter was summoning Sora's Artifact and quickly flying back to the village or having Shirou summon Saber to their side. They'd figured that should be enough, though. "I only hope there's no conflict of interest after that person learns of Saber-san's bid for power, I really hate confrontations..."

Then, precisely as if on cue, they heard the voices of several angry children coming from ahead of them, and they hurried up to see a large, rusty, discarded train car crashed in the middle of a clearing. By the car was a motorcycle resting on its side on the grass, and around them a small, tight circle of dirty children ranging from eleven to thirteen years harassed and shouted at a small kneeling figure hugging the wrecked bike protectively.

"Well, too bad confrontations just love following us around, then," Rito sighed as Emiya already darted ahead, with a grim expression of just and heroic resolution on his face. "Luckily, we're with the Hero of Justice, out to right all wrongs..."

"I'm sure," Sora quietly told him, "you'll have Lala-san back in your bed before long, so you don't have to be so sulky, Yuuki-san..."

He stared at her. "What ever gave you the impression— Sheesh, you really are Chisame-san's sister after all, aren't you?"

Sora looked away innocently. "Of course I am, and yet I have no idea what are you trying to imply with that."

"Look, just because she's probably letting Tsunetsuki-sempai into her bed– "

"WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO IMPLY ABOUT MY SWEET, INNOCENT LITTLE SISTER?!" Sora roared dangerously.

"Oh, so it's okay to accuse me of sleeping with Lala, but not Chisame-san?" Rito said.

"THAT'S DIFFERENT!" Sora cried. "Chisame is an innocent young maiden who's politely deeling with an obsessive stalker the only way she knows how! You, however, are Saotome Haruna's boyfriend!"

"WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO IMPLY ABOUT MY SWEET, INNOCENT HARUNA-CHAN?!" Rito roared dangerously.

"Oh, please!" Sora said, and for someone who didn't like confrontation, she was looking very confrontational. "Saotome-san wouldn't possibly interested in you if you weren't secretly as big a pervert as she is!"

Alice sighed. "Mr. Rito, if anything you should be praying for that devil to never come back so she doesn't sneak into your bedroom again. Aren't you aware you could lose your immortal soul...?"

"Hey, now! Lala can be a pain in the, well, and I could lose my, well, to her, but she's not a real devil, and she's not going to suck my soul, just maybe my, well!" the orange haired boy protested.

Alice frowned and slapped him.

"Why did you do that?!" he cried.

"There were far too many 'wells' in that sentence where nothing was well!" she claimed.

"Why are you girls all so violent?!" Rito wailed.

"That's what you get for implying things about my sister," Sora sniffed and walked past him briskly. "Let's just see what's going on with that poor girl already, okay?"

The children surrounding the kneeling, short haired girl in a black and white sweater and black bicycle shorts were growing angrier by the moment. They were mostly boys, around six of them, with a single, slightly older girl in their ranks, who had short lighter hair and wore a ragged blouse and blue skirt. The biggest, bulkier of the boys was currently shouting a storm at the silent, stoically enduring target of their ire.

"How many more times have wee gotta tell you? You're not wanted here! It's our spot, and you'll never be a part of this gang!"

"Yeah, yeah!" nodded quickly an almost as tall, but skinnier boy with very short and sparse hair. "Get it already, you dumb kid!"

"I don't want to be a part of your gang," the black haired girl mumbled, looking down so she wouldn't have to look at them. "I just want to take a good look at the car, that's all..."

"Hey, stop it!" Shirou said as he stopped by their side. "What do you think you're doing here? Don't you know going out alone is dangerous?"

They looked at him, and made a point of turning around and ignoring him. The children just kept on bothering the focus of their bullying.

"What, do you think you can get it up and running? What a dork!"

"Not running! Flying!" she argued. "It can fly, I saw it myself! I saw it when it came from the sky, you've gotta—!"

"A flying train, next you'll tell us you saw a flying elephant!" the other girl mocked her. "Just leave us alone already, weirdo! Look for another way out of here if you're too good for this place!"

"I told you to stop it already!" Shirou growled, slamming a foot on the dirt.

Now the children looked back to give him and the approaching Sora, Alice and Rito highly annoyed glares.

"What do you want, outsiders?" the biggest boy asked with hostility.

"Yeah, if you want supplies, we don't have any here, go raid the village or something," the bully girl added. She'd normally be far meeker around outsiders, but none of these looked like they could put much of a fight, except maybe for the tall ginger, and even then she trusted on their edge in numbers.

"You don't have any supplies here, really?" Rito sighed, pulling a small bag of snacks out of his breast pocket. "That's too bad. Here, have some, then," he added, casually tossing the bag as far away as possible.

The young bullies grew starry eyed upon seeing the bag flying away, then scrambled all together to dive in for it, completely forgetting about the girl who remained kneeling by the bike.

Rito answered the others' inquisitive glances with a shrug and a weary, "What? I was saving it for a special occasion with Haruna-chan, but I'm not going to let children starve, right? Hell, thugs or not, they're Mikan's age..."

Shirou smiled at him and nodded. "You did the right thing," he approved, before moving in to help the bullied girl back up to her feet. "Are you okay? They didn't do anything to you?"

"Not to me, thanks," she stiffly said, not looking at him but at her damaged motor vehicle. "They're all bark, you shouldn't have bothered..."

He didn't point out there were tears in her eyes, and instead looked at the bike, which didn't look like any model he was familiar with. From Sora's curious, awed expression as she adjusted her glasses on, he supposed she was just as puzzled herself if not moreso. "Aren't you too young to be riding one of these around, anyway?" Emiya asked her.

"It's the last thing I have left from my uncle at home, I'm not going to abandon it," she passively said, studying it carefully. "It's okay, he taught me how to drive..."

"But not how to fix it?" Shirou asked.

The little girl hissed irritably. "I can fix it, I just need time and some spare parts, that's all!"

"We can help you!" Sora offered, eager to meet the challenge, one of the few things that could override— literally— her crippling shyness.

The little girl stared at her. "Are you some sort of mechanic?"

Sora nodded proudly. "It's the only thing I'm good at!"

"You just said with pride something that is phrased in a very self-deprecating way..." Alice noted.

"Well, yeah," the black haired girl told Sora as the other kids proceeded to split the loot of candy amongst themselves amidst much bickering. "But, are you familiar with this kind of bike?"

"Never seen one like that before," Sora flat out admitted. "But that'll just make it more interesting!"

"Moron!" the girl from the group of bullies called out.

Rito stuck his tongue out at them, then asked the black haired girl, "Hey, what do they have against you anyway?"

"I want out and they call me an idiot, that's all," the girl said with a small sigh. "They're convinced it can't be done, but that's my dream anyway. I'm going to fix up that flying car and take it to the stars, so I can find my way back home. I hate being here."

She lifted a hand towards the cloud-free skies and held it there as she explained, "In my world, we have a huge tower that goes all the way up to the Moon, and on the top of it, every eight years, they hold the most wonderful of all events, the Neo Solar Olympics. It's huge! It lasts half a year, and millions of people come to take part on it!"

"Ah, yeah, we have something like that at our world, too," Rito nodded. "Every four years, though, and it only lasts a few weeks a time..."

"The most exciting of all those events," the girl smiled, balling the hand up into a fist and growing a wide smile, "is the weeklong 'Grand Solar Race'. To participate in it is... well... my dream, and I'm not going to stay stuck here so I can't ever race in it!"

"Yeah, like that's going to happen!" one of the smaller kids said while stuffing his mouth up with sugary goodness.

"Wake up already, Shinobu!" another boy told her.

"It's useless, she's never going to grow up..." the girl of the bunch predicted.

"Oh, so you're named... Shee-noh-bu?" Alice struggled a bit with the pronunciation. "How do you do, please forgive our rudeness in not introducing ourselves sooner." She made a prim and proper curtsy that had the vandal kids breaking into laughter, and Shinobu to blink in confusion. "I am Alice Liddell from England..."

"England!" Shinobu gasped. "I, I thought England was sunk thirty years ago by Aquaman? Hm, well, anyway, my name's Yuuki Shinobu..."

Rito blinked. "Excuse me?"

"Yuuki Shinobu," she repeated, looking at him now. "What of it? It's a common enough family name, isn't it?"

"Oh, oh, yeah, quite. As a matter of fact, it's mine as well," he admitted, scratching the back of his neck clumsily. "I'm Yuuki Rito. Pleased to meet you, Shinobu-chan."

* * *

 _Symphony of Sorcery:_

When Keiichi finally opened his eyes to a lack of dreams and found he had not been turned into a cockroach, the first thing he did was briefly wondering why he was feeling like he was having the fleeting sensation of experiencing another man's experiences. Somehow it made him feel dirty. Then he looked up at the faces of Lala, Negi, Gadget and Chamo surrounding him from above, and smiled weakly.

"Ah," he said. "I'm glad you're all okay, because you are, right?"

"Yes," Negi nodded, gesturing at him to take it easily, even as he gently helped him sit up. "How about you, Morisato-san? I'm so sorry I dragged—"

Keiichi laughed awkwardly, waving a hand at him before the flow of self-recriminations and angst could come out, something Lala, Chamo and Gadget felt very grateful for. "I'm fine, that was nothing. I've had far worse bumps while on a race, but, um..." He doubted, running a hand down his face and then sniffing on his moist fingers. "Why does my face smell like—?"

"Oh, that! Well, the blast that impacted us dropped you unconscious, but thanks to your loosened but mostly functional safety belt, you only half-fell onto the copilot's seat, which I remind you happened to be mine. I had to retake it as quickly as possible to launch a fiery retaliation and save our lives, so you kind of spent the whole duration of my counterattack with your nose oscillating between my crotch and my ass," Lala matter-of-factly explained.

Pause.

She laughed apologetically, scratching the back of her head. "And the trip here took the best part of an Earth-day, so it wasn't like I had bathed for quite a few hours...! And then there was Haruna saying goodbye… "

Keiichi, all things considered, took it remarkably well. "Just tell me something, was Rito-san that way before you met him and you're just transmitting it from him to me, or do you just have that effect on men who spend any time with you?"

"Hey, you're a hapless manga harem lead-type yourself," Chamo told him. "Do you think you're really all that different from that Rito boy?"

"You know, sorry, never mind, let's just leave it at that," Morisato stood up on the Gummi ship's floor, blinking and looked through the window, at the dark skies above them. "Where are we now? Those things that attacked us, they're gone, right?"

"Um, well," Lala said, "unless they could reconstitute their body structures back after being blown to a fine mist of red particles, I doubt it, Keiichi. Of course, that doesn't mean we're still free and clear from this world's own brand of unique Jurassic perils..."

Keiichi then saw two pterodactyls flying past them high in the sky, and his eyes shrank down to black dots.

Lala bopped herself on the head with a fist and chuckled. "Ah ha ha ha, I'm sorry, I guess this was my fault!"

"Oh, absolutely not, Lala-san," Negi was quick to chivalrously reassure her. "How could you have foreseen any of this would happen? Besides, unless there are any more demons around, odds we are surrounded only by noble, mostly herbivorous creatures who will be as afraid of us as we'd be of them, if not even more..."

Then the ground shook, and the ship shook along with it.

"You know," Chamo finally said, very eerily, "I'd say it's a bad idea to tempt fate like that while we're surrounded by killer dinosaurs, Bro."

"Please partake in the wonderful knowledge of a mouse's everyday experiences in a world ruled by creatures dozens of times your size," Gadget commented dryly, folding her arms behind her back. "If anyone needs me, I'll be in my titanium secure mobility sphere."

"Any more room in that metal hamster ball of yours?" Chamo asked.

"It's a titanium secure mobility sphere, and no."

"Damn."

Negi gulped audibly. "W-Well, that's assuming we are, somehow, surrounded by actual carnivorous dinosaurs, which sounds like just too much bad luck to be true—"

Then something huge and very strong hit the ship from the side, almost turning it over, and everyone but Lala and Negi, Peke included, screamed at the top of their lungs. Or what passed for them in Peke's case.

"Iiiiiiiiihhhhhhhh...!" Negi made a high pitched, fascinated sound as his eyes grew grotesquely huge and round. It was not a sound born from fear.

"Oh, awesome!" Lala gushed as she looked through the window, which now had a long, sharp nose horn protruding through it and stopping at mere inches before her face. "A Triceratops Prorsus in flesh and blood!" She whipped out a cellphone with a pink happy-face design on it and began taking pictures of the enraged beast repeatedly ramming against the vehicle. "This sort of aggressive behavior coming from a herbivore would indicate they were, as a matter of fact, strongly territorial reptiles! You learn something new every day after all!"

"LALA-SAN!" Keiichi yelled, while he and the others tumbled around from the violent shakes. Negi's bouncing from one side to the other and the nasty hits his head would get through them did nothing to take him out his entranced, blessed out rapture. "STOP DOING THAT AND DO SOMETHING, WILL YOU!"

"Oh, okay, Keiichi!" she pushed the cellphone back. "But... what do you suggest? Harming this magnificent beast would be a huge loss for science! Think of how much we could learn from it!"

"Once again, I can only agree with your wisdom, Lala-san!" Negi eagerly nodded, finally holding on to a chair but still giving the furious Triceratops a mesmerized, almost lovesick longing gaze.

"Lala-sama, we have several of these in Nana-sama's private petting zoo!" Peke screamed.

"Nooooo!" Lala wagged a finger. "Those are Triceratops Horridus, remember! This species wasn't sampled when Great-Grandfather took that trip to Earth's distant past! It'd be a shame if something happened to this one before we can learn if there are still others like it, or—"

Negi, his heart thumping louder by the second, felt really tempted to reach for her tail and tug on it. Finally, a woman who understood...!

Then a gigantic Tyrannosaurus Rex jumped from behind on the Triceratops, taking advantage of its distraction, and chomped on the unprotected flesh behind the quadruped's armored neck frill.

"... oh dear," Lala blinked as blood splattered all over the cracked glass, a few drops landing on her face. "Looks like that's a non-issue now, anyway? Keiichi, Negi, do you think I should do something about this other specimen, too?"

"WHAT?!" Morisato cried. "I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE ROARS OF TWO HORRIBLE BEASTS KILLING EACH OTHER, SORRY!"

"This is so horrible," Negi gasped loudly, his eyes morbidly fixed on the savage clash of the titans, "but also, so incredibly fantastic, cool and awesome!"

* * *

 _Traverse Town In Twilight:_

"Hey, we're back!" Shirou waved as he, Rito, Sora and Alice led Shinobu into the main hall of the large old building, Alice looking warily in all directions, ready to bolt away at the first sign of Haruna. Rito and Sora were sharing the duties of pulling Shinobu's wrecked bike along past the gates. "Where's everybody, Vice President?"

"Oh, it's just you, Emiya-san," the busty blonde said while marching up to meet them. "Well, if you really need to know, Gainsborough-san and Kaga-san are finishating up the dinner, Naba-san is sweeping the backyard, Cid-san went out to join the others meeting that Lion fellow, Mikado-sensei is looking for a house with Ku-san looking after her since she insists she'll need a place all her own, and, well, I really don't want to know what Akashi-san, her father and that woman are doing."

An angry Yuuna shouted from the next room. "I said you stopped me from doing anything like that, didn't I?! I even thanked you! So why are you still acting as if I'm doing it! I'm just setting the table, dammit!"

"Because I know you'll start doing it as soon as I turn my back on you!" Haruka snapped back at her. Then she pointed a finger at one of her own eyes. "But I'll be vigiwatching you, Akashi-san! No indecenastities under this roof as long as I can help it!"

"Um, right then, hello there, Yuuna-san," Shirou waved stiffly, really not wanting to know what was going on. "Hm, so, I think I'll go help at the kitchen while—"

Haruka looked sternly at Shinobu. "And you would happen to be...?"

"Ah, ah, well, you see, Ma'am, I'm..." the black haired nervously said before Rito started talking for her.

"Please don't be like that, Vice Prez, she's an orphan we ran into while scouting the borders," he said. "She really doesn't have a place to go, she just sort of roams around, so we thought we'd bring her here to keep her safe from the Heartless. Her name's Shinobu-chan."

"Oh," Haruka hummed, giving Shinobu a calmer glance. "So you're Japanese as well, aren't you? That's fine, we must be together as companiontriots. Welcome to Ala Alba headquarters. I'm Suzushiro Haruka..."

Shinobu blinked. "Ala Alba? You mean, like the famous organization?"

"Precisionously!" Haruka smiled, satisfied their reputation was spreading so quickly around the city, apparently. "The organization led by Negi Springfield!"

Shinobu blinked again. "Negi Springfield, like... well, like the mage?"

"Oh, even that is known by now!" Haruka chuckled. "Yes, under Negi-sensei's tuteliage, we have set up to keep this place safe from—"

"Y-You mean Negi Springfield himself is here?!" Shinobu grew visibly agitated, much to Sora and Rito's growing puzzlement.

"Well, not right now," Haruka said, "he's corrently on a mission... far away, but he should be back soon enough. Why do you ask?"

Shinobu had grown visibly pale. "Oh my gosh. I never imagined you were such... important and powerful people! Um, ah, eh, exactly what do I have to do for you, then...?"

Haruka frowned again. "Do for us? What do you think we are, some sort of explotatization ring?"

"N-No, of course not!" Shinobu grew even more nervous, borderline scared. "Please don't hurt me!"

Alice sighed, then reached over to gently place a hand on Shinobu's shoulder. "Please rest at ease for the moment, as long as that Satan woman and her bride are not around, the rest of the residents are... easy to deal with enough..."

"A Satanic woman and her bride?!" Shinobu cried.

"That's slander, Alice-san," Haruka chided, "Lala-san is actually perfectly agreegable with despite her looks, if anything Saotome-san is the devil in that relationship..."

"That's my girlfriend you're talking about here, Vice President!" Rito growled, an eyebrow twitching rapidly.

Shinobu cringed, trying to make any sense of this situation, before looking at Alice's face in near desperation.

Alice simply shrugged her shoulders with a lot of British aplomb.

Shinobu exhaled loudly, then said, "Okay, fine, you know, whatever. I don't think I really care much anymore after all. Just give me some food and I'll gladly wipe your floors or anything else that isn't too Satanic..."

Haruka hummed in contemplation, attempting to make sense out of this girl. "I think," she said at last, "you'll become real popular here, real fast."

"And may the Lord protect her!" Alice sighed at the idea, intently looking aside.

* * *

 _Symphony of Sorcery:_

"Run! For the love of Skuld's dad, run!" Keiichi urged in hushed tones as they moved through the scarce vegetation that bordered the valley. The area they had fallen into had once obviously been a lush tropical jungle, but for some reason it was now mostly dry, leaving only a few patches of tropical jungle scattered across the land. They had decided to stick to one of those during their escape, but to little avail; while the T-Rex finished its bloody fight with the Triceratops by descending upon the quadruped's body into a savage killing frenzy usually only seen in R-rated horror movies, another Rex who apparently had been scouting the area with the first one had spotted them rustling through the tall grass, and was now chasing after them, each long-legged step making the ground quake, every feral roar sending deafening shockwaves through the air.

"Ah, isn't that incredible, they aren't loners after all. They travel in pairs!" the oddly pleased Negi smiled, looking back over his shoulder and going slow enough to allow Morisato more or less keep up with him remarkably well, all things considered. Above them, Lala was treating it all like a game, naturally, laughing to herself with a more concerned Gadget and Chamo riding in her pockets. The titanium hamster ball had been left behind because Gadget had gotten locked out, and she didn't have time to look for the manual.

"You know what, screw this, we gotta turn around, find a way to get back to the ship! Without it, we're stuck here!" Keiichi yelled. Now that the other Rex was too busy feasting on the Triceratops, perhaps it wouldn't even notice if they made it into the spacecraft they had been forced to abandon minutes ago. If Lala and Gadget could fix it up, maybe there still was a chance they could return to Earth yet. Well, Traverse, anyway. "Lala-san! Do you have any inventions to help us with this?!"

It was then Chamo realized how truly desperate the poor guy had to be now, not that he could fault him. "Hime-neechan, I think the kid there's right. No way you can take a simple animal that size on your own, right? Since I know the Bro just won't do it..."

Negi lowered his head in a mixture of shame and stubborn reluctance. "How could I bring myself to hurt innocent animals who are just following their instincts...?"

"It's not like that ever stops any of the girls you teach from stomping on me!" the ermine cried down at him.

Lala blinked, tilting her head up just enough as to look into Chamo's tiny black eyes. "Eeehhhh? So you want me to hurt this poor creature? It's just playing with us!"

"Yeah, like a cat playing with its food!" Keiichi protested, beginning to lose speed as they all approached a narrow mountain pass past a dry river. They might be able to lose the apex predator there, but there was no guarantee they could reach it in time, and passing through the river's empty bank would slow them a lot more than it would delay the Tyrannosaurus. Then he remembered Negi had his staff on him, so technically there was no reason why he couldn't fly him up, but then again, around this place, not even the skies were safe, so—

Lala hummed, looking back over her shoulder at the giant sauropod that approached them. "Okay, I'll tell you what. I'll only give it a pat on the nose. Negi, catch!" she said, picking up Gadget in her hand and Chamo in the other, and then tossing them down. The shrieking small creatures landed on Negi's expectant hands in time in a flawless safe catch.

"Oh, for the love of all… Princess, please!" Gadget still yelled in her direction, her blond hair falling all over her face, only her nose's tip sticking out through it now. "Could you be more careful next time?!"

"With what?" Lala asked as she flew into the startled Rex's lower jaw, hitting it with a fist so strong the beast's head swung back, its legs losing balance. The Rex fell onto its side as Negi gasped in horror, but recovered quickly and lunged at Lala again, only to be easily dodged as the Deviluke princess pirouetted aside in the air. "Hey, was I too rough, Negi? Gomeeeeen, when surrounded by dinos, I tend to forget not everyone's as strong as them…!"

This was said as she casually slapped the side of the Tyrannosaurus' head, her tiny hand sending powerful ripples through the scaly skin, the Rex making a long, pathetic yelp of profound pain. Negi flinched and tried to shout an anguished command for Lala to stop, but Chamo, Keiichi and Gadget quickly pushed his chin up so he'd bite his tongue instead.

Like a colorful fly facing a grown man, Lala floated before the animal, tail twirled up, hands poised on her wide hips. "Had enough by now, T-chan? If you don't make it back to your hubby soon, he'll eat your share too!"

The T-Rex stepped before Lala with nervous hesitation for the next few moments, before looking past her, recoiling back in agitation, and then running back towards its partner with an odd flinch to its steps that hadn't been there before her fight with Lala started. "Well, they don't come too persistent in this planet!" Lala observed, floating down to ground level and landing easily on her feet.

"Lala-san, how could you?!" Negi cried at her. "You could have killed that poor dinosaur!"

"Don't be silly, Negi, I know the limits of my strength perfectly well, I haven't killed you while sparring yet, have I?" the alien laughed it off, just as carefree as before, and then waved up past Keiichi. "Ah, yoo-hoo there, Traveler-san! Wandering alone? That's against common sense in most safari! If you lost your group, maybe we can help you find it again!"

"Traveler? Lala-san, what traveler do you—?" Negi's head spun around, and he saw for the first time a tall old man in some sort of Gandalf the Grey cosplay standing at the top of the rocky pass they had been running towards moments ago. He stood very imposing and firm despite his advanced age, and there was a very tall pointy hat on his head. To further add new shocks, the elder gentleman jumped off several feet down, landing on his feet at the bottom of the pass, apparently none the worse to wear at all since he immediately began walking towards Negi and the others, with no gait or sign of damage.

"Badass!" Chamo hissed under his breath.

"Hm, alright, then, I suppose this is the guy we came here for, right...?" Keiichi swallowed hard, feeling strangely uncomfortable under the man's implacable stare.

For the man had covered the distance between them very quickly, although apparently never rushing at all, which only added to the strangeness of it for Keiichi. Even though Negi hardly looked fazed by it, much less Lala. He stood now close enough to touch them by just stretching an arm, but there he stopped, looking at them with steely gray eyes, shadowed by thick silver eyebrows.

Lala grinned and waved a hand, breaking the unbearable silence that had ensued, broken only by the triceratops corpse getting messily devoured in the distance. "Hello! My name's Lala!"

"I am Yen Sid," the man said, his voice strong and rich, his expression still one of stone. Nitta-sensei, the old one, would have looked like a circus clown at his side. "What were you doing with my disciple's Gummi Ship?"

"Um, we were flying on it?" Lala pointed towards the ship crashed in the distance. "I mean, what else could be done with an interplanetary ship, other than using it to fly from one planet to another? Unless you mean whether we were using it for conquering or not, but I'm the princess of Deviluke! Why would I need that little ship for that when I have whole fleets of much bigger and more powerful ships at my beck and call?"

"Lala-san, please be respectful, this is our elder and deserves more formal address," Negi chided her, then began to deeply bow for the man. "We are so honored to meet you, Sir! I'm sorry, our friend Lala may be a bit too informal at times. We didn't mean to usurp control of your pupil's ship, there's a good reason for that. He landed it at our Academy's grounds, where he met some of our—"

"Informal?" Lala lifted an eyebrow. "I was being as formal as they come, if I had been informal I'd have greeted him with a hug and a pat on the shoulder!"

"So," the man gravelly said, "have you met Mickey?"

"I'm sorry, but no, Sir, the ship was lent to our friends by him, and they flew it to us, and— Ah, forgive me, where are my manners! I'm Negi Springfield, the charming young lady is Princess Lala Satalin Deviluke, the ermine is my best friend Chamo, the gentleman is our designated driver Morisato Keiichi, and I think Miss Gadget should introduce herself…"

Gadget gulped and advanced, looking up—way up—at the grim man's face. "I'm Gadget Hackwrench, Sir, it's a pleasure!"

"Mickey's chief mechanic," the man simply said.

Gadget blinked. "Did he tell you about me?"

The man simply kept on staring at her. "He tells me of everything, which is why I find his recent silence so worrying. His messages have spoken highly of you, so I suppose you should be commended on your devotion to your King."

"Golly," she quietly said. "That's... a honor, coming from someone of your stature. Thank you so very much, Sir..."

The man nodded slowly, and then began to walk towards the Gummi ship. As he marched, he gestured with a hand, and the two dinosaurs feasting on the Triceratops' body quickly stepped back and ran away into the desert. The old man covered the rest of the way to the ship, then gestured for the youngsters and the talking animals to join him. After pulling Negi away from the half-eaten carcass and urging him in hushed whispers to get over it already, they went on to join the old guy by the spaceship.

Yen Sid looked inside carefully, occasionally moving a hand and causing a crack, a broken piece, and the hidden cheese locker to repair itself, much to the others' awe. "This foolish disciple of mine," he mused aloud. "He has gone alone in a quest of this caliber. When will he learn? So then, you hail, I can tell, from the dimension of the Nameless Princess?"

"Nameless Princess?" Lala echoed. "Um, well, we used to have this kinda rebellious cousin my father un-personed decades ago, but after that Dad threw her into a sun, so if she was your friend, sorry…"

"You might know the woman I am talking about as the Lifemaker, or Mage of the Beginning," Yen Sid said. "One of the three disciples who sealed Darkness away."

"Darkness?" Keiichi felt compelled to repeat, despite knowing well it was a stupid thing to do.

Yen Sid nodded. "A very Troublesome Darkness."

Somewhere in the distance, a faint rimshot sounded. Only Lala could hear it, and for a pair of moments she looked all around for the source, then to quickly forget about it after failing to find it.

"The Mage of the Beginning?" Negi echoed this time. "Excuse me, Sir, I am familiar with a few stories about that legend, but I was always under the impression that person had been a male, and unlike King Arthur, one who had lived recently enough to leave truthful accountants of his gender."

"What does King Arthur have to do with any of this?" Keiichi wondered.

Yen Sid opened his mouth then, paused. "Arthur? Skinny kid, about this high," he gestured, "glowing sword, eats a lot?"

Keiichi gasped. "You know King Arthur?"

Yen Sid's eyes darted around suspiciously. "That child's wizard isn't about, is he?"

Negi gasped. "Merlin? The Wizard Merlin? N-No, no Sir, they're not!"

Yen Sid seemed to relax slightly. "Good. Damned Merlin is more than I want to deal with right now. But let us speak about yourself first. Your hair," Yen Sid observed, "stands in point. Not as much as I would like, but still spiky enough, I suppose. Your eyes are innocent. And you are young. How young, exactly?"

"Was this some sort of come-on? Because it sounded like a come-on," Chamo suspiciously asked, growing tense.

"There's such a thing as being too appealing to people, after all," Keiichi murmured under his breath.

"Guys!" Negi hissed, while Gadget frowned and pinched Keiichi's leg. "Eh, please excuse them too, Sir, I… I don't know exactly what they mean, but I still know they're being disrespectful to you, and that won't happen again… anyway, I'm ten, why do you ask?"

"Ten!" the old man sounded like measuring the word in his mouth. "Younger than I had expected, but still fitting the basic description, I suppose. We will go to my tower now. There we shall see if you are the one."

"Ew, yeah, that's a come-on, no doubt!" Chamo cringed. "Just say no, Brother! I know this kind of creepy, gross, icky old man…"

"Oh, no doubt about that," Keiichi mused, "since it takes one to know another..."

"Like hell I'm anything like that!" Chamo roared. "Don't you dare compare an exquisite connoisseur of Loli with a vile follower of the deviant Shota path!"

Lala blinked. "I thought you were okay with the girls being Shotacon?"

"That's completely different, girls can be Shotacon freely... well, because they're girls!"

Yen Sid, doing his best to ignore them, gestured with a hand towards the Gummi ship and it rose into the air, suddenly completely fixed again.

"See, that's obviously the kind of power that can only be gained through the Dark Side!" an alarmed Albert cried.

"Will you just stop it already?" an exasperated Gadget asked him.

Lala pouted. "Aw, where's the fun if you repair it like that? The challenge lies in doing it with your own hands and expensive computer-operated tools!"

* * *

"How can you pilot this ship anyway?" Lala curiously asked while sitting behind Yen Sid, who was at the pilot's seat steadily flying the Gummi across the vast plains of the alien world. "We had been told, and then confirmed it ourselves, that it works on an interface requiring thoughts of a positive nature, and since by restarting it you must have rebooted the bio-link systems..."

"I'm having lots of happy thoughts right now," the stern looking man said. "Why wouldn't I be having lots of happy thoughts? I might have found a Chosen One, after all. This is my happy face."

While Negi kept on staring in childlike awe through the window at the wild life of that wholly new world, Chamo leaned up from Lala's shoulder and over the driver's seat to examine Yen Sid's dry, stoic expression carefully. "Fine, if you say so," he said skeptically, sitting back on the shoulder and muttering, "You remind me a lot of some guy named Stan I used to know, just a tad more—"

"Those creatures attacking your world," Yen Sid spoke, "are Heartless, beings born from darkness that devour whole worlds and steal their inhabitants hearts to create more Heartless. I hadn't heard of them for twelve years, but I was convinced they still were elsewhere, plunging more worlds into the abyss. For this to happen now, it must mean they are returning to our axis of existence..."

"Um, yeah, we already know about that too," Keiichi said.

"Good. It's the least I should expect from Mickey, but I still felt obliged to mentioning it," the sorcerer said. "You never know for sure with that lad; there's no heart nobler than his, and he usually judges situations wisely, but when he slips, he does so sparing no expense. On that subject, anyone using animating magic on my brooms will be thrown out. It's a rule I have now."

"If you say so," Keiichi said noncommittally. "By the way, Yen-Sensei, if you can see through the universe like that, could you please tell us about how our families on are Earth doing? My parents and sister don't live in Mahora, but I'm still worried about them all the same..."

"Not to mention Rito's sister and cousin," Lala nodded. "And his parents, even if he won't admit being sick worried about them. And Haruna's parents, and all of her aunts and uncles, and her panda grandfather..."

"And my sister in Wales!" Negi pointed out, finally looking away from the window. "And my sister trying to kill me! Not to mention all of my other students, and Takamichi, and—!"

"I'm sorry to say my magic doesn't allow for those specifics, not from such a distance," Yen Sid somberly replied. The Gummi ship faltered a little, so his mind drifted to happier thoughts, "I can only tell my apprentice still stands, since I can sense the light of his Keyblade from... somewhere else. Your homeworld, most likely, but I can sense nothing else from it."

Keiichi looked at Negi. "Aren't you worried about your father this time, seriously?"

"Father is so strong he might as well be immortal!" Negi proudly answered. "I'm not concerned about him! No matter where he is, I'm sure he can beat any odds!"

"That's actually a positive mindset to keep," Yen Sid nodded. "As a matter of fact, your optimism on the subject is greatly helping to keep this ship in the air. That, and the devil-tailed young lady."

Keiichi sighed. "When Sensei's one of the most positive minded people in the room, then something's definitely wrong..."

Negi pouted. "What do you mean with that, Keiichi-san?"

Lala shrugged. "Why wouldn't he be optimist on the subject? I feel the same about my dad! Even if those monsters could leave Earth and reach my planet, I'm sure my family would have no problems beating them back!"

"Are they as powerful as you are?" the old man asked. "You showed impressive strength and stamina fighting that dragon."

"Dinosaur, Sir," Negi politely corrected him.

"I call them dragons," Yen Sid said.

"Oh, actually, my father is much, much, much stronger than me!" Lala excitedly said. "He's Emperor Gid, sovereign of the Deviluke, conqueror of the Galaxy! He even gets Darkseid to step back!"

"Darkseid. I know of Darkseid of Apokolips," the elder man scowled. "So he still lives? I imagined he would, although I doubt he is behind the Heartless. I sense another old evil hand after this..."

"By the way, Sir, and I hope I'm not bothering you and being a namist," Gadget intervened, "But why do they call this world 'Symphony of Sorcery' anyway? I've been meaning to ask..."

"They say," the mage explained, "music itself was born in this world, created by the nymphs and fairies who live in the South fields and woods. It might be even true. My tower lies past those mountains." He pointed towards a sharp, tall mountain range in the distance, hiding the lands beyond from sight. "There, we shall see what can I do for you, and possibly, what could you do for the future of the worlds."

"Do you live there all alone?" Chamo suspected.

"Ever since my apprentice graduated," Yen Sid confirmed.

Chamo let out a long suffering sigh. "Just my luck, being dragged off to a scary old place with no cute girls around but Lala-chi..."

Negi grew worried. "So we're leaving the area populated by dinosaurs behind...?"

"If you're a good boy," Yen Sid promised, "I'll bring you again so you can see more... dinosaurs."

Negi waved a fist up. "Yay, dinosaurs...!"

"Oh goodness," Chamo rolled his eyes. "Puberty can't come soon enough."

"Remember," Yen Sid told the ermine, "he is keeping us flying. My happy face is not actually happy enough."  
 **  
**"Gee, don't you say...?" Albert said. **  
**

* * *

It was a very mysterious tower, Keiichi decided as they walked up the spiraling stone stairs leading to the upper floors of the huge, foreboding structure built in the mountains. It looked like the fortress of an evil warlock more than anything else, although Morisato guessed Evangeline might have liked it. Actually, Evangeline would likely have rejected it on the grounds of it being pastel blue and decorated with stars, though.

"You have a nice parking lot," he said at some point of the long way up, trying to break the uncomfortable silence. Lala might have done it earlier if only she hadn't been too busy gasping in quite awe at everything around her. Wasn't it all too low tech to attract her attention anyway?

"Thank you," Yen Sid said as he led the walk up.

"It's kind of strange to see a parking lot for spaceships by an old castle, however, you know?" Keiichi added uneasily, folding his arms and absently rubbing them up and down, as these mountains were far colder than the tropical landscape they had left long behind.

"Morisato-san, please," Negi said, his tone a bit strained.

"It's not a castle, just a tower that used to be part of a castle," Yen Sid explained.

"And what happened to that castle?" Lala said.

"It belonged to an evil warlock who worshipped Chernabog, Lord of Bald Mountain. So I slew him, destroyed most of the castle, and took up residence in the tower," the old man explained.

"The slaying part I get," Chamo said, "but why did the poor castle to pay for its master' misdeeds?"

Lala nodded. "That's such an awful way to ruin the fairest way to acquire royal state property in existence!"

Gadget blinked. "Isn't that called murder and—"

"It was," Yen Sid said when they reached a small wooden door at the top of the stairs, pushing it open with a hand, "a battle where he was even more willing to kill me. I have never regretted it," he added, guiding them into a wide, circular room built around a massive square table, with several chairs around it. "And destroying the castle was the only way to get rid of the awful smell. He was a necromancer that practiced truly terrible arts, which had tainted all but the tower."

Negi gasped. "He made zombies?"

"No, fermented fish sauce. The smell," Yen Sid shuddered. "Revolting."

He took seat at one of the chairs and gestured for them to do the same. Then he gestured with both hands, and a heavy looking object as long as a walking staff but shaped like a silver key with a sword's handle came into existence, lowering itself until it rested on the table. Even Negi, who was fairly familiar with that sort of display, gawked at it all, since it hadn't even needed any sort of spoken incantation from the sorcerer.

"Oh!" Lala cooed. "Just think of all conservation of energy laws that have just been violated! This is going to be FUN to research!"

"This," Yen Sid said, "is a Keyblade, once wielded by a young hero of yore, who traveled through the worlds eradicating evil and darkness, along with his two best friends. Only a select few can use Keyblades, and to do that, one needs to own a heart untainted by selfishness or malice."

"That's nice, really, Sir," Keiichi said, "but I'm not sure we're the best qualified people for that kind of task. Please, Mister, couldn't you just tell us what do we need to do to go back home?"

"The balance between the worlds, including your own, cannot be restored until all the doors allowing darkness to flow into the worlds have been closed," the mage said. "And for the doors linking the hearts of the world to be opened. And then the doors between dreams must be unlocked... For that, we need another great hero who can use the Keyblade to its fullest. My disciple, Mickey, owns another Keyblade, and while I am confident on his worth and bravery… he might just need another's help. Because there's a lot of locking and unlocking to be done."

Silence.

"I'm sorry, but I feel I must insist I'm almost sure we aren't the right people for that job, Sir," Keiichi said at last, still respectful but growing uncomfortable and nervous by the moment. "I'm just a sadly average Joe who collects porn magazines, Princess Lala here is the unrepentant heiress to a mass murdering space tyrant, Chamo-san is enough of a pervert to make me and anyone else look tame, and Negi-sensei is… well, a good kid, but still, a former supervillain..."

"Yes. That is true, I guess," Negi lowered his head in shame.

Chamo, Lala and Gadget all nodded. "Although personally, I prefer the term 'Well-intentioned strong ruler who brought peace and order to the galaxy when the Green Lanterns couldn't'!" Lala pointed out.

"Maybe Gadget could be a nice choice for the job as long as the weapon of choice weren't several times her size?" Lala pointed out. "I could easily build a size alterer for her, although it wouldn't work on her clothes..."

"I'm not too troubled by that, none of my best friends ever wear pants," Gadget shrugged.

"How would we be supposed to do this anyway?" Chamo groaned, looking up at the weapon. "Is it a King Arthur gig, where we have to keep trying to lift it one by one until the Chosen One pulls it off?"

Then all of them stared intently at Negi.

The young teacher cringed. "Why are you looking at me like that? Are you implying I should do it? I'm honored by your trust, but I swore I wouldn't ever take any weapon of choice but my father's staff! I'd be betraying his legacy if I chose to rely on something lent to me by anybody else! No offense intended, Master Sid."

"But you're clearly the Chosen One, somewhat Gary Stu-esque, obviously born to lead the way amongst all of us," Keiichi told him. "Haven't you realized that's the way things to work out with us? You're always the one to beat the Demon Count up, or to best Eva-chan, or to kiss the enchanted princess, or—"

"Th-That's ridiculous, I'm not especially better than any of you, you shouldn't have such low self-esteem," Negi lectured. "We're all the protagonists of our own stories, and—"

"Brother dear," Chamo lectured in turn, "that's one of those things that sound all sweet and swell in theory, but in practice, you're the kind who's fated to steal the spotlight from everybody else and reduce their allies to cheerleaders and side-commenters eventually, why do you think I stick with you and not with anyone else? I mean, other than the additional and even more important fact I love you like my brother forever?"

Lala blinked. "Cheerleaders? You mean, like Sakurako and Madoka and Misa? They're already cheerleaders, how can he reduce them to cheerleaders anyway? Besides, I'm sure they'd be offended if they heard you comparing their hobby to something degrading and devolving!"

"I'm not using the term literally!" Chamo protested.

"All the same, I'm not some kind of foretold superman or messiah!" Negi protested back. "This isn't some shounen series in TV where the main hero outclasses everyone, and even if we were in one of those, the hero's always Japanese in them!"

"That's it!" Lala snapped her fingers. "Maybe we should bring Kotaro here! I'm sure HE'D be the perfect Idiot Hero who readily accepts the call to protect everyone instead of cowardly avoiding the responsibility!"

Negi blanched, grimaced, then mouthed out weakly, "No, I'm not a— You misunderstand— I'm not—"

Then he seethed as his blood heated up and boiled, and he yelled "I'LL PROTECT MY STUDENTS NO MATTER WHAT!", startling everyone by reaching past them, grabbing the Keyblade's handle, and then easily lifting it over his head. "—huh! Who would've thought it, it actually worked!"

Keiichi sighed. "I knew it! God forbid, of course, any other of us got that chance to shine for once..."

Lala hummed. "Keiichi, why are you sounding so much like Rito all of a sudden? Are you trying to put the moves on me, as they call it?"

"Oh dear. So… I don't have to kill anyone with this now, right? I, I don't think I ever could have the stomach for that…" Negi lamented.

Lala patted his head. "Don't worry too much, the first time is always hard, but you get used to it relatively fast. I agree the choice of weapon doesn't help, though. Generally speaking, when you want to kill someone, you want to do it with the swift precision of a sharp edge, or with the safe-distance of a laser or a similar ray-or-beam-based implement. Bludgeoning your victim is always very unpleasant, unless they happen to be a particularly hated enemy…"

Gadget, Keiichi and Chamo all gained hideously pale and constrained expressions.

"All the same, Negi, that's what you get for jumping the gun!" Lala chided. "There are _protocols_ for this kind of thing! The Chosen One isn't supposed to attempt it until everyone else have tried and failed!"

"That was in bad form indeed," Yen Sid grimly agreed.

"I, I had no idea it would really choose me at all!" Negi cried. "I didn't even want it, anyway! But, if it must be done, so be it, I suppose. I'll become the bone of my sword, the—"

"You're aware that isn't a sword, aren't cha, Negi?" Lala asked.

"Besides, that sounds more like the kind of thing Emiya-san would say," Keiichi pointed out.

"Will you stop ruining my Bro's dramatic moments of love for his harem and determination?!" Chamo exploded.

"Don't fight, don't fight!" Negi ordered.

"See, you're stealing even more from Emiya-san now!" Keiichi accused.

"No, I'm not! And I don't have a harem either!"

"Now you're stealing from Yue, as well!" Lala accused him.

 _Well, at least he cannot fail any worse than Terra… can he_? Yen Sid wondered before shuddering inwardly.

* * *

 **To be Continued**.


	20. Deadpool Returns

The Walt Disney Company created and owns _Fantasia_ and _Chip 'n Dale Rescue Rangers_.

Akamatsu Ken and Kodansha created and own _Mahou Sensei Negima!_

* * *

 **The Keys of the Kingdom HD 2.8 Final Chapter Prologue Turbo Hyper Champion Edition Gold**.

 **By OverMaster and Shadow Crystal Mage**.

* * *

 **Chapter Eighteen**.

* * *

 _The Mysterious Tower in Starlight:_

"Anyway," Yen Sid moved the conversation along, "you have a perilous journey ahead of you. You must be well prepared."

Negi nodded. "I'm aware of that. I only ask you to provide us with any information you would have about the Seven Princesses, or about my father. If you don't know anything about the princesses, just my father will do."

"Oh-ho," the old sorcerer said, idly stroking his beard. "So you have heard about the Maidens of Light already. Well, that should save us some time in explanations. Sadly, I am not completely sure of the identities of those chosen ones, although I have established a few reasonable guesses. As for your father, that is a question best posed to the elite mages of your world, as soon as you return."

"Actually," Chamo piped in, "we've already found one of them, and we have her safeguarded with our friends at the place where we're staying right now!"

"Those are splendid news," Yen Sid said approvingly, "but be careful, for you have just acquired a great responsibility. A wonderful gift, but also a burden, for the forces of evil will not stop attempting to kidnap her from you."

Keiichi gasped. "But... could they even learn where we're staying?!"

"Given enough time, any frequent traveler amidst the worlds can be tracked, especially by foes as astute as those you will face," the hermit warned. "The Heartless are Darkness made real— and darkness lingers yet in every heart. So long as Darkness exists in a single heart, they will persevere to some degree or another, and while they can be pushed back, it will be nearly impossible to ever eradicate them. Darkness always finds a way."

Negi, Gadget, Chamo and Keiichi sighed.

"But then the solution is very simple!" Lala cheerfully stated. "All we've gotta do is making sure everybody's heart is full of light, and then the Heartless'll go away!"

Yen Sid, Negi, Gadget, Chamo and Keiichi all stared awkwardly at her, but her smile never faltered.

"That," the sorcerer finally said, "is an… interesting theory that has been proposed before, but let us just say this is not the time to try and implement it. Mostly because, alas, it is impossible. Now it is time for you to know more about the enemies that you will encounter."

Yen Sid waved a hand and a lookalike image of Keiichi appeared near one of the walls. This image then changed into an average, hunchbacked, nervous and still very short Shadow Heartless, the solid black standard humanoid type, nearly featureless.

"If one such as you, young man, yields to the darkness in their heart, they too will become a Heartless," the old man explained.

Morisato frowned. "Any particular reason I was chosen as the 'likely Heartless' over the others, Sensei?"

"You admitted you collected pornography," Yen Sid reminded him, "and the ermine would have made for an even less physically impressive example. But remember this. No matter their size or origins, the Heartless are always lurking and ever seeking to capture new hearts. Never let your guard down! Now then..."

"Please wait a moment," Negi asked. "Are you saying, then, all those Heartless were once innocent people, and yet we've still got to annihilate them?"

"Not innocent at all," Yen Sid ellaborated, "since they couldn't have been turned had there not been any darkness in their hearts to begin with. But yes, many of them were, indeed, innocent enough for the purposes of lawyers."

"That's not very innocent," Keiichi said.

"Yes."

Negi placed the Keyblade on the desk. "Thank you, but I won't be needing or wanting this, then."

Yen Sid scowled. "Your inaction as the chosen of light would only doom far more innocents to suffer the same fate. Conventional weapons can only stall and briefly vanquish the Heartless, but only the Keyblade can seal them away permanently..."

"I'll find another way," Negi promised.

"There is none. I and many others of power comparable or superior to mine tried to find one over decades."

"I'll still be the one to find it," Negi insisted.

Yen Sid sighed, tapped his fingers on the desk, and said, "The Keyblade also can lock the Keyholes linking the worlds with the realm of Darkness. Once that is done, all the turned inhabitants of said world, even those struck by the Keyblade, will be restored. Is that enough to placate your heart?"

"That's a reasonable enough compromise, Negi," Lala told him. "You should take it!"

Chamo and Keiichi nodded.

Negi frowned. "I'm still not sure..."

"C'mon, as long as you find the Keyholes and take care of them, it's not like you'll be killing anyone anyway!" Gadget argued. "Think of it as extra incentive to fully complete your quest!"

Negi looked almost pledingly at the sorcerer. "Can't you just charm my father's staff so it works like a Keyblade instead?"

Without a word, the bearded man picked the key weapon up and pushed it back into his small hands.

Negi exhaled in frustration. "Okay, but I don't like it and you can't force me to!"

"Do you mean the act of vanquishing Heartless with it, its mere design, or having to rely on it above your father's relic?" asked Gadget.

"All three! And then some!" Negi grumbled in a way that would have made Chisame proud.

* * *

 _Mahora of Darkness:_

"DAMN!" Inugami Kotaro roared, slamming a fist into a tree trunk and making said tree's midsection explode away in a massive burst of splinters that had to be dodged by everyone around him.

They stood on a grassy slope by the hill where the Tatsumiya Shrine had been formerly located, panting heavily with scratches and bruises all over them. Mickey's hood had been shredded beyond repair and now what little remained of it hung from his shoulders as he rubbed the space between his eyes with the gloved hand not holding his Keyblade.

"I don't think," the King suggested, "destroying the remaining plant life is going to help at all here... Kotaro, right?"

"Shut up," the boy bitterly spat. "I'm still not sold this isn't your fault to begin with. We just lost Nodoka-neechan, and that other kid, and our two strongest allies to boot! How can you ask me to be calm?! Why, I oughtta—!"

"Inugami-kun, please," Akira requested, holding a hand up towards the agitated boy. "Turning on each other will only worsen things, and the King's already helped us more than once. Don't even think of attacking him, that's not what Nodoka-san would have wanted..."

"Yeah, well," Kotaro murmured darkly. "A shame she isn't here to see my show of restraint now, isn't it? Alright, now what? They must've gone somewhere, but I can't even sniff their trail..."

"There's no reason to think you could," Mickey told him. "The Heartless often are given the means to travel from one place to another through magical portals, although... that means they're being controlled by people even above that Sextum girl. From what you've told me, even she shouldn't have mastered that kind of magic."

"Well, I wouldn't undersell her like that," Sailor Mercury warned. "I suspect everything we saw her doing at Kyoto was only the tip of the iceberg..."

"We'll think of that later," Minako said, pointing Westward. "Right now, our best hint is that trail of fire across the sky, and it seemed to have landed there, not that far. Let's get moving, maybe we can find some real answers there."

"But we're still too spent, and there are less of us to fight now," Sailor Mars groaned. "You'll only get us killed! At least, at least let's get some reinforcements first..."

"Oh, yeah?" Minako challenged. "And where do you hope to find reinforcements? Ala Alba's missing, the Headmaster's frozen, we sent Tatsumiya-san and the others away, what can we do now? Wait until helpful newcomers just announce themselves?"

Then another voice called out from above, "I am the terror that flaps in the night…!"

King Mickey blinked, tensing up, but also gaining some vaguely hopeful new wind. "That voice…"

"I'm the unexpected Class that foils your Great Grail evil dreams…!" the voice continued.

Venus smiled. "All according to plan!" she boasted.

"Excuse me?" Mars asked her.

Venus chuckled. "Ufufu, Tempting Fate works both ways, don't you see? Since new enemies drop by whenever we say we aren't going to find any more, why wouldn't that also apply to allies? That's just plain logic!"

"We still don't know if this is an ally yet, you dumb jinxing girl," Kotaro growled, sharpening his claws and baring his teeth as he looked up into the foliage of a close row of trees. Before the insulted Senshi of Love could reply, however...

"I am…" a small purple figure dropped from the trees between them, "The Vigilante!"

Mickey smiled nervously. "I knew it!"

"… a duck?" Kotaro blandly grunted.

"You're a dog, why do you act so surprised?" Artemis reminded him.

"What does that have to do with this? Be quiet or I'll chase you up a tree!"

"Oh, hey, it's you, Vigilante-san," Minako waved at the newcomer. "Well, I expected more of a cavalry, but any help is welcome by now. Oh, that's right, you haven't met our newest recruit yet, have you? This here is Sailor Mars-chan; Mars-chan, this is Vigilante, I told you he was real and not a joke, now pay up..."

"I saw him briefly during that whole fight with Berseker, don't you remember? Besides, I don't have any pockets or wallet on this darn thing, gimme a break!" Shiho protested, holding the edges of her skirt before frowning at Vigilante. "What are you, then, a cosplayer of justice, or—?"

"Nice to see you again too, Miss Latest Child Endangerment Case." Quietly pushing past her and dramatically standing with his fists on his hips, the masked duck in the hat and blazer directly addressed King Mickey, his long purple cape flapping in the cold breeze. "Okay, Black-Clad rodent, that's enough! I don't know how you could come here from Mundus Magicus, but it's time to take your shadow minions away and leave these poor children alone!"

"See, he's even as much of a failure at getting things right as I'd told you!" Venus chuckled at Mars.

Vigilante stared back at the blonde over his shoulder. "That was funny, don't go too far, I'll have you telling me a few of your other jokes on dragging more girls into this business later. Now, you overgrown rat, we can do this the easy way or my way..."

"Ah… I think there's been a mistake here, mister," Mickey said. "You see, there's this young lady named Sextum, she's the one who's been—"

"Oh, sure, the black clad denizen from another world has nothing to do with the black creatures from another world, it's the fault of the young human girl," Vigilante said as he casually punched back a random Heartless trying to sneak up on him from the bushes. "Sure, sure! And I'm the mayor of a city!"

"But it **was** her fault," Akira said.

"She admitted it in front of us and everything," Minako added.

"… oh," the duck said. "Now that I think back, I was mayor for a bit. Well, where is she? Wait, don't tell me, you let her escape, didn't you?"

"She was strong enough to give Berserker a fight, cut us some slack!" Minako grumbled. "And where's your Master anyway? Did she barricade herself at home with some hot chocolate to browse the Web all night long?"

"I only read books, thank you very much!" an angry girl with dark twin-tailed hair, wearing a very short black skirt and tight red sweater, dropped by Vigilante's side also from the trees, staring fiercely at the Sailor Senshi. "Okay, this can't the work of any magus or Servant, since it's too public and breaks way too many rules, so which one of YOUR enemies did it, Justice Society reject?"

Through this heated exchange, Mickey kept on looking at Vigilante, trying to remember exactly where he had seen him before. Then he looked at the back of the hand of the new girl, and then he understood. Lifting a hand for a moment, gesturing for the discussion to stop, he asked Rin, "Excuse me, Ma'am. Are you a Master? My teacher told me, in this world, there are humans who use Magecraft to summon spirits from the secret realm between worlds."

Kotaro frowned. "So you know about those things too, huh. That only makes you even more suspicious, Shorty!"

"Inugami-kun, please," Akira sighed. "Just don't."

Rin blinked. "Um, yeah, I am... My name's Tohsaka Rin, and... Are you... from Vigilante's homeworld? Vigilante, is this someone you knew in life?"

"Never seen him before," Vigilante growled, training a gun with a short, thick barrel on him. "Don't get any closer to him, Rin."

"We aren't from the same world," Mickey extended the Keyblade towards them, "but close enough. You know Scrooge, don't you?"

It was Vigilante's turn to blink in surprise. "Scrooge... McDuck? Where—"

The King smiled. "I thought so. With you here, I can open a Door. As long as the keyhole in your heart remains."

"What in the world are you talking about?" Rin asked, pulling the handful of gems she had on her out. "I don't like your tone, you... you... whatever you are, rat or..."

"Stay back from my Neesan and Vigilante-san, I warn you!" added another girl, this one far bustier and sporting purplish hair as she dropped down from the trees as well. Or rather, the austere looking short girl in worn out bridal attire, lacy white veil included, holding her in her arms dropped down for her, carefully setting her down on her feet and respectfully standing behind her as she readied a gigantic mace. Her obvious Mistress pointed a warning finger at the Mouse. "And answer Neesan's questions already you, uh, ah, Bonta-kun wannabe!"

"Sakura, please," Rin sighed. "Just stay back and let us handle it, this isn't why I brought you and Monster along."

"But, but we want to help too, Neesan!" the slightly younger girl said. "Let me pull my weight along too, after all, I'm a Master now, it's the least I should do!"

Kotaro blinked. "Okay, who are all these new bozos, and why should I care?"

"That's exactly what I was wondering myself," Deadpool nodded, standing right behind him and greatly startling the Senshi, the Servants, the Masters and the Mouse at once. He had a large gun in each hand that looked like someone had slapped a barrel and magazine on a toaster, and looked curiously over everyone. "At least most of them are great looking! And you're a minor, so that means all the tail's for me... well, all but the duck and mouse tails, I draw the line at sheep..."

Kotaro sighed, grabbed the man looming over him by a wrist, and roughly flipped him around, tossing it against the ground. "What are you doing here?!"

"Gahhhkk!" the red and black costumed masked man gasped as he was slammed down. "Teleporting device, remember?! That's how I snuck in despite your senses! You don't have to take it so—!"

"I know that, we worked together long enough, and I can't forget you matter how hard I try!" Kotaro growled while Rin's gems, Vigilante's gun, Monster's mace and Mickey's Keyblade all quickly converged on Deadpool's head, all ready to go off at the slightest sign of trouble. "I meant why aren't you still imprisoned in Kyoto! You're working with Sextum again, aren't you?!"

"No, no, you got it all backwards, pally!" the fast talking man denied. "It's the girl's pops, the Big Kahuna Elder, he sent me to make sure the little girl was alright! You should know that, you— Oh, sorry, I forgot, you have no way to remember the previous dra—"

"A friend of yours?" Mickey asked Kotaro.

Inugami shuddered. "Hardly. Just a nuisance I had to work with for a while. I know Konoka-neesan's father wouldn't have ever trusted him with his daughter's safety, though."

"Hey," Deadpool said, "do you think I'd be stupid enough to just show myself to you with such a lame excuse for my freedom if it wasn't true?"

"Yes," Kotaro said blandly.

"Point. But still, you've gotta believe me, Kots! Those things have begun to crawl all over Kyoto too, and Big K's forces have their hands full, so he made a deal with me! If I could break into Mahora and see what's going on with the lil' princess, I'd get a free Get Outta Jail Fer Reals card! And lotsa lotsa moolah! Well, now I've pulled the first part off, but I can't find Tooty no matter what, so I thought I'd approach the biggest mess around and work my detective way from there. It's your own fault I'm here, for making the biggest mess around in the first place! So _**nyah!**_ By the way, get those things out of my face already, won't you?"

"A mercenary?" Minako sneered. "Great, right what we needed. Nice voice though, kinda Ryan Reynolds-esque..."

"Thank you, you have nice panties too," Deadpool nodded, looking up her skirt. "No bulge either, thank God, because you never know in this country..."

"They aren't panties, I'm wearing a unitard under the skirt!" Minako screeched, grinding her heel into his face.

"Oh, oh, that's even better, keep doing it, yesssss!" Deadpool hissed, suddenly oscillating his hips roughly. "Ah, rich magical shoe leather…"

Akira sighed and placed a hand on Minako's shoulder. "For the love of Kami-sama, Venus-chan, just... interact with him as little as you can, please? Take it from someone who's met him before..."

* * *

 _The Mysterious Tower Under Starlight:_

"Now pay close attention, this part is extremely important," Yen Sid instructed, waving his hand again, and the image of a tall, frail looking, silver bodied humanoid figure with no features on its shallow shape appeared next to the Shadow. "At times, if someone with an exceptionally strong heart and will—-be they evil, good or lawyer—-becomes a Heartless, the empty shell they leave behind begins to act with a will of its own. We then call this shell a Nobody."

The Shadow image disappeared, leaving the 'Nobody' alone, to flail around menacingly on its long legs and small feet.

Lala breathed out almost reverently. "A fascinating discovery of an all new species!"

"An empty vessel whose heart has been stolen away..." the sorcerer lectured. "A mind and will that goes on even as its body fades from existence—-for you see, Nobodies do not truly exist at all. Nobodies may seem to have feelings, but this is a ruse— like politicians, they only pretend to have hearts. You must not be deceived, for they might try convincing you otherwise and promising they will make your land great again!"

"If they don't exist, how can they threaten anyone?" Chamo muttered. "I don't get it."

"It's most likely just an overblown figure of speech," Lala told the ermine. "Don't think too much of it!"

"I don't think it's overblown at all," Yen Sid stoically disagreed. "Quite poetic, actually."

"Princess, please don't disrespect the master of the house," Peke reminded her.

"When you say they'll try 'convincing' us, you mean they can talk?" Keiichi asked.

Yen Sid nodded. "Heartless are all but beasts moved only by instinct and the commands of their lords, but Nobodies can follow their own sets of thoughts, and appear perfectly normal and reasonable on a first impression. Not these ones, of course. They belong to the lowest variety known as Dusks, and barely are any better than the Heartless."

Two more images of Dusks appeared flailing their arms around the party, making Chamo, Keiichi and Gadget squirm around rather uncomfortably. Lala and Negi continued listening unfazed, however.

"Dusks are the most common form of Nobody," instructed the old man. "But there are others—-some larger, some with frightening and unique powers. Be vigilant! On your journey, you might meet an alarming number of Dusks, who will all attempt to do you harm, but even their menace pales compared to that of their overlords..."

The Dusks vanished, much to Morisato, Albert and Gadget's relief, but a second later the ancient wizard waved his hand again and images of several tall figures hooded in black appeared in their place. The trio visibly cringed again.

"The beings you see before you now are different," Yen Sid said. "They have started acting only recently, and I am ignorant of much about them yet, but they have been active and proved themselves quite the threat. These powerful Nobodies have formed a group called Organization XIII. It commands the lesser Nobodies."

"Organization XIII, really?" Chamo gulped. "Hm, well, ah... That sounds like a very silly name! I mean, wow, it's so— try-hard! Like the kind of thing you come up when you want to sound cool and mysterious and dark and overshoot the mark..."

Yen Sid nodded. "I think the same, but they lack emotions, so they might have just forgotten even the concept of shame. Or they might be playing the part of the fools to deceive their enemies into lowering their guard around them. Despite that, don't be tricked, they are no Narutards or Twifans, but clever and crafty foes under their fangirl baiting appearances. They can think and plan. And it seems they are working towards a goal. What that goal is, we do not know. That is up to you to learn."

Negi nodded. "And I will!"

"Fangirl baiting appearances?" Lala asked, growing worried at last for some reason.

Yen Sid nodded again. "From all accounts, under those hoods they hide visages that are quite pleasing to easily swayed eyes and shallow hearts. Some say they will even occasionally sparkle, although I refuse to believe even they can be that monstrous."

"Oh gosh," Lala swallowed. "Better keep Haruna far away from them, then!"

"On the other hand," Morisato mused aloud, "if they're bishounen, maybe they should be more concerned around Haruna-san than the other way around..."

"So, before you go, I will test you in combat, Negi," Yen Sid added, standing from his seat majestically. "The first world you will be sent to will be one fitting your experience. A proper match for your starting level, young man."

"I must warn you," Negi said, standing up as well, "I've been trained by Evangeline McDowell herself and a powerful mage called the Magus Erebus."

Yen Sid, for the first time, cracked a small, hardened smile, with a glint in his eye. "Good. That might mean you could actually give me some semblance of a fight."

"If you're so powerful, then," Lala raised a hand, "and we've seen you can hold that Keyblade, why don't you go yourself to—"

"Regrettably, I cannot leave this planet as long as Chernabog, the Dark Lord who sent those demons after your vessel, lives," the old mage explained. "My power is all that keeps him restrained here. Should I leave, he would be free to spread his evil across the universe. Again. Besides, I'm not young enough anymore..."

"Come on, if you think you can fight my Bro on more than even terms, then you can't be that old..." Chamo groaned incredulously.

He shook his head. "I don't mean that, no. I mean I'm too old to go around picking young attractive princesses anymore. People find it creepy. After all, most if not all of them are bound to fall for you. That is the way events always unfold in these epics."

Gadget, Keiichi, Peke, Lala and Chamo all nodded sagely.

Negi paled horribly, then asked Keiichi and Lala, "On second thought, why don't you also try and see if you can wield the—"

"No!" Keiichi looked away.

"But I've already got too many girls going after me!" Negi argued.

"Oh, sucks to be you so much now, doesn't it?" Keiichi argued. "Well, sorry, Sensei, but how could I possibly compare, then?"

"But Chisame will kill me!" Negi cried.

"Heroes either die young or become villains. That can't be helped," Lala observed soberly. "And you don't want to be a villain again, do you?"

Yen Sid blinked" 'Again'?"

"Long story," Keiichi sighed. "Don't worry, he isn't going to be changing sides mid-quest or anything like that... at least I hope he doesn't..."

"Of course not! Chisame would kill me!"

"He's really henpecked, isn't he?" Gadget said.

* * *

 _Hollow Bastion in Ruins:_

Maleficent, Diablo, Evangeline, Chachazero and Hades all looked down into the huge black cauldron in the middle of the Gothic-styled surveillance room, surrounded by grotesque gargoyles decorating the walls, and similarly tasteless and cliché Evil Overlord interior decoration. Evangeline always felt annoyed by people who felt the need to accessorize their evil fortresses like that. It was overdoing it, for Pete's sake! A dark throne worked just fine, there was no need to go all out on the whole building, but Mal here apparently adhered to that outdated school of decor like she was an Dead Apostle Ancestor vampire or some shit like that.

Honestly disappointing, that, even for a woman who dressed like her.

"Well, so Chernabog failed," Hades summed up, lazily trailing a finger around the cauldron. "Big-whoopin'-dee-doo surprise, there. Poor guy's been holed up there so long I'm honestly shocked he even remembers the basics of evil-doing anymore. I think he spends his whole time either sleeping or doing demonic raves now, doesn't he?"

Maleficent nodded. "Let that be a warning to others of what happens when one spends too long in inactivity, rather than actively searching for dark purposes."

"Said the girl who's spent sixteen years waiting for a kid to get her pricked," Hades observed before an offended Evangeline could ask the dark fairy if that had been an insult towards her periods of of inactivity.

"Said the man who has spent eighteen years waiting to screw over his brother and nephew," Maleficent shot back.

"Hey, can't help it, the Fates said it themselves, these things need doing at the right time, Mally," Hades argued. "Besides, running an underworld means you never have a single day or night to stay idle. Really taxing, let me tell you, you gals have no idea how easy you got it. Do you have any idea how much paperwork I need to go through every morning before our meetings?"

He held up a gnarled hand with deformed, twisted parodies of human fingers. "You see these babies? These are perfect when I wake up in the morning. I'm a Greek god, it comes with the package. Then I have to do the paperwork before breakfast and they end up looking like this the rest of the day."

Evangeline and Maleficent both twitched and unconsciously rubbed their fingers on the front of the clothes.

"Anyway, now what? We don't have any way to see inside the old fart's tower, damn his hide, but we can be sure he's filling the brat's head with heroic babble. Will of the gods, here's your tutorial, now go off underfunded, under-equipped and under-informed to save the world." He sniffed and the fire on his head flared. "And they call us evil. Better watch out, Evie, he's bound to get your boytoy killed off on a random heroic quest."

"He doesn't have to try very hard, the boya isn't so much running towards getting stupidly killed as jumping off a cliff and just waiting to hit the ground. And don't call me Evie, I've beat up gods before," Evangeline warned him, although she still disliked that nickname a little less than she disliked 'Kitty'. "

"Sure, if you mean Skuld. Big deal there," Hades summoned a large black cigar and had a few puffs from it. "That's hardly any harder than dominating Aqua. But I digress, what are we supposed to be doing about your twerp now? He's your student, or teacher, whatever, so you tell us!"

"Let him be for the time being," Eva quietly said. "Like Maleficent said, he's bound to find the Princesses for us. If he has any talent, it's a gift for pulling women around him like some stupid sort of sexual magnet. If any of you spoils that by harming him, they will answer personally to me."

"Huh," Hades said as Hades and Maleficent shared a knowing, roguish shrug and glare with each other while Eva stared intently into the cauldron. "He related to someone in my family? That sounds like the sort of bull thing to happen to one of Zeus' or Aphrodite's kids. "

Maleficent waved a languid hand. "Regardless, Dark Evangel, it is time for you to start fulfilling your part of our deal. Assist us out before we help you achieve your goals. And for that..."

Then a man stepped into the room, his fine shoes lightly tapping against the floor. Evangeline turned around to regard him with a dubious look as he posed grandly, a fist on a hip and his other arm raised, just enough as to show off the sharp metal hook replacing his missing left hand.

"We normally have rules against letting females in our ship. It calls misfortune," the tall, lean, pompous pirate in regal red said, his cold clear eyes fixed on Evangeline. "But I'm willing to make an exception, just in this case! Just remember, this is no pleasure cruise for children! It won't be a pleasant voyage!"

There was a beat.

"Huh," Chachazero said, sounding nonplussed. "I've never seen a pirate without makeup before. Who knew."

* * *

 **To be Continued**.

* * *

 **Omake! The True Hero Revealed!**

A Keyblade had fallen into the lands of Soul Society, sinking itself to its hilt in the dry, cracked ground of the badlands. It had a skeletal design, stylish and yet macabre, coated in elegant silver and black.

After waiting around to see if this had anything to do with Death-sama losing her housekeys again, the Shinigami were dispatched by the wise and benevolent Captain-Commander Aizen, Hero of the Shinigami, to retrieve the mysterious weapon that had plummeted from the skies, fearing it was related to the mysterious cataclysm that had plunged the living world into a darkness even the Soul Reapers couldn't reach around the same time. All of them failed, from the stalwart Ukitake to the wily Kyoraku, from the motherly Unohana to the bloodthirsty Zenpaichi, who had spent three full days pulling on the damn thing savagely yelling "COME TO ME! COME TO ME ALREADY!" before four squads working at once could pry him apart from it.

Then the Meisters and their own living weapons had tried as well, and once again, they had failed, from Death the Kidd himself to those two girls who starred in _Soul Eater Not!_ , whatever their names I can't bring myself to care to remember were...

"HEY!" Tsugumi and Meme cried indignantly.

(Thanks to Wikipedia for its valuable help in the making of this omake.)

Finally, when everything seemed hopeless, and the Heartless began flowing into the realm of the dead as well, a young soul still fresh from Earth walked to the Keyblade, having nothing better to do, and pulled it just to see how heavy it was and how impossible it was to lift it. And probably to use it as a sex toy if it worked.

Much to his awe, and much to everyone's awe, he lifted it on the first try. A blinding light came from the skeleton Keyblade as its chosen bearer raised it high, his large dark eyes gleaming in absorbed fascination.

Itou Makoto-kun had just become the Soul Society's last hope...

 **"ABSOLUTELY NOT!"** everybody cried.

"Onii-chan," Itaru sighed admiringly. "Siblings can get married in heaven, right?"

"The loli option is okay, right?" Kokoro said next to her.

* * *

 **To be Continued?**

* * *

 **Probably Not!**


End file.
